


Symbiosis

by teaandbiscuitsforall



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Asgard, Asgard (Marvel), Bondage, Cunnilingus, Dom/sub Undertones, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Intrigue, Poisoning, Politics, Post-Thor: The Dark World, Pregnancy, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Sparring, Weddings, Álfheimr | Alfheim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-05-20 19:01:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 93,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6021328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaandbiscuitsforall/pseuds/teaandbiscuitsforall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki has taken the throne after the events of Thor: The Dark World, but his reign is in need of some stability. He's decided that Erna, a light elf visiting from Alfheim, might suit his needs nicely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> symbiosis  
> noun sym·bi·o·sis \ˌsim-bē-ˈō-səs, -ˌbī-\  
> 
> 
> biology : the relationship between two different kinds of living things that live together and depend on each other  
> 

The closer the party got to Asgard, the more Erna wished to break free from the clump of riders and speed forward in solitude. The trip from Alfheim had been exciting in many ways, offering her a change from the oppressive atmosphere of her father’s house. She enjoyed the inns and meeting new people, but spending so much time in such close proximity to her traveling companions was starting to wear on her.

Although she was lucky the little retinue only turned out to be twenty people strong. Between Erna, her father, retainers, handmaidens, and various other servants, it was a wonder they left for Asgard with so few people. She could only imagine the small army it would take if her stepmother and siblings were brought along.

She got a small pang of guilt thinking about her little brother and sister, but she pushed it aside. She couldn’t stay in that house forever, no matter how much she loved the children. Her stepmother, Rania, was starting to make near daily comments about how long Erna was taking to find a husband and move out. So the trip to Asgard promised a diversion, albeit a temporary one.

Any excitement that leeched away as they plodded through mile after mile of countryside and crowded into close quarters at night surged back as she caught sight of the magnificent city. Nothing she’d heard or read prepared her for the sight of the glittering spires and sheer magnitude of the place. She itched to race toward it and let the others trudge along at their glacial pace.

It felt like it took them forever to finally get to the city, traverse the grand gate, and make their way to the palace. Part of her knew what an uncultured bumpkin she must look like, gaping at the size and wonder of the palace, but she couldn’t bother to affect an air of indifference. And while it was a bit easier to take it all in once they entered the massive structure, the maze of corridors and grand rooms left her at a loss for words. Whatever father’s business with the Asgardians, she hoped he wouldn’t be quick to finish it.

Though nowhere near an influential visitor, she was nonetheless shown to a sizable suite of rooms with a private bath and adjoining chambers for her maids. And much to her surprise and delight, nobody expected anything of her. While her father met with tradesmen and government officials and attended meetings all day, Erna didn’t really have a schedule. She was used to running their house while her stepmother socialized. The woman felt that managing the servants and menus and other household duties was far beneath her and it fell to Erna to keep things running smoothly. And while she never truly resented her role, because it gave her something worthwhile to do, the break she’d get while in Asgard was welcome.

Once her handmaidens helped her dress in the morning and ensured her long, fiery gold hair was braided in the manner she preferred, she had the option to dismiss them and roam the castle as she pleased. It was a constant marvel to her that so many people could coexist in one building while still offering her pockets of solitude. Between the library, gardens, balconies, and passageways, she was able to escape the chatter of other courtiers when it suited her. It was heaven.

And when she did join the ladies of the court as they embroidered (or actually gossiped and pretended to embroider) or rode out to enjoy the city, she was constantly entertained by the endless parade of different types of people. She was used to the tall, lithe forms of the light elves. As the predominant inhabitants in Alfheim, she’d grown accustomed to their pale gold skin, angular faces, and pointed ears. But in Asgard, residents of all nine realms seemed to make their home.

While some of the ladies would titter and giggle over the different races, Erna found her eyes drawn to each new sight. Dwarves, Vanir, and fire giants all mingled if not happily, then at least peacefully in the golden city. Even the Asgardians were interesting to look upon. Although they offered a wide range of body types, she noticed a trend among the young women. Tall and buxom, she silently wished for a figure like theirs. As it was, Erna was an oddity amongst the elves, several heads shorter than most. At least in Asgard she wasn’t around many from Alfheim and it helped her feel less out of place, particularly at large gatherings.

Unsure what to expect at first, Erna was happy to find most palace meals were informal affairs. She was able to chat with fellow visitors as everyone came and went as their schedules allowed. Few people paid her much attention, which was a nice change from home. She did get a pit in her stomach on the fourth day, when the king entered the hall as she was finishing her dinner. Glancing around, near-paralyzed with fear, she strained to see if anyone was observing any protocols she wasn’t aware of. Would they all stand to greet him? Should she stop nibbling on the last of her chicken?

Thankfully, none of that was necessary. A small ripple of excitement passed through the room as the king took his place at the high table, but that was all. The look of undisguised jealously her father shot at the lords and ladies seated with him was slightly embarrassing, but she figured the king would take no notice of such a minor lord.

The lady across from her noticed Erna’s attention and smiled indulgently. “First time dining with the king?”

“Yes,” she answered with a laugh. “Must be sadly obvious. I’ve just,” she lowered her voice, feeling like an idiot for admitting it, “heard so many stories. You get this idea in your head and he’s just not what I pictured.” Her skin prickled at her words, giving the feeling that she was being watched.

“Not handsome enough for you?”

“No.” She wanted to crawl under the table at the thought of passing judgment on the general merits of the king’s appearance. “I rather expected him to look like some rabid fire demon intent on devouring children and deflowering innocent virgins.”

Her dinner companion laughed heartily at the idea. Again, Erna got the distinct impression that she was drawing too much attention to herself. “Don’t let that pretty package fool you, elf. The king is not to be crossed. He’s merciless.”

“I’ll uh… keep that in mind, thank you.” Shortly thereafter Erna made her excuses and retired to her chambers. She planned on giving King Loki a wide berth. If even half the stories she’d heard about him were true, then he wasn’t to be trusted.


	2. Chapter 2

The empty corridors echoed the sounds of her hurried footsteps as she tried to get her bearings. After a week, she had assumed she could find her way to breakfast without the guidance of one of her handmaidens. She’d assumed wrong.

The palace was just so damnable large! She couldn’t even quantify how many of her father’s houses could fit within the mammoth structure. Thousands probably, she silently lamented. She’d likely starve to death before finding the great hall. It probably happened all the time.

So distracted with these thoughts, she didn’t even see the stooped old woman in her path until she almost crashed into her. Erna narrowly avoided the crouched figure, but to the detriment of her balance. She thumped down onto the hard floor, skirts offering minimal padding as her bottom crashed into the stone.

“I’m so sorry,” she exclaimed when she had her breath back. “I nearly trod all over you. I wasn’t paying the least attention.”

She now saw the woman held a scrub brush in one hand. A nearby bucket confirmed her assumption that this was a servant washing the floors. The woman’s downcast eyes further attested to the fact. “It’s my fault, my lady. I shouldn’t have been in your path.”

Erna laughed and stood, brushing the dust off the back of her gown. “You’re just doing your job. There’s no way you could have anticipated that I’d come by, not paying proper attention to my surroundings, lost idiot that I am.”

“You’re lost, my lady?” She still shied away as if Erna might whip her for being underfoot, but her voice seemed calmer.

“Hopelessly.” The glanced around the seemingly endless corridor and sighed. “You wouldn’t be able to guide me back to the great hall, would you?”

“I…” She cast a glance back at her bucket, likely wishing to get back to her task. “Of course, my lady.”

“I don’t want you in trouble with anyone on my account though. If you can find me a nearby guard, I’ll make sure of it.”

“Certainly, my lady.” The woman scurried off with a quickness Erna wouldn’t have thought possible in her advanced years. But she returned after only a few minutes, guard in tow. He didn’t look happy about being summoned by a washerwoman, but he made his face placid as soon as he saw Erna.

“Lady Erna,” he said bowing.

“Please wait here until…” she trailed off, looking back at her new acquaintance. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask your name earlier!”

“Halfrida, my lady.”

“And you shall call me Erna, please.” She turned back to the guard and continued. “Please wait here until Halfrida returns. If her supervisor or anyone else comes looking for her, I don’t want them to think she’s shirking her duties. She’s going to guide me back to the great hall.”

“My lady, I can-”

She cut him off, preferring not to have her plan questioned. “Thank you. Your assistance is greatly appreciated. Lead on, Halfrida.”

They departed down the walkway, leaving the guard to at his new post. Erna heard Halfrida chuckle under her breath when they were out of his earshot. “Deftly handled, my lady… err, Erna.”

“Thank you, Halfrida.”

It turned out she was relatively close to the hall, as far as palace geography went. She vowed to pay closer attention to the path and would always keep someone with her until she knew it by heart. The woman bowed obsequiously when they parted at the great wooden doors. “Thank you for valiantly rescuing me, Halfrida. I shall not forget it. If you ever tire of your current job, please come find me. If you’d be willing to come back with us to Alfheim, I could always find a place for you at home.”

“That’s very kind of you, my lady. I’ll just be off now, if there’s nothing else you need.”

“No, I’m fine. Thank you again.”

The woman bustled off and Erna took a moment to compose herself before entering the hall. A deep voice stilled her hand just as she was about to push the door open. “They’ve already started clearing breakfast away, but I’m sure one of your servants could coax the kitchen into sending something up to your room.”

Shit. She was fairly certain who the voice belonged to. Turning around to face him, her fears were confirmed. The king looked down at her, amusement showing on his regal face. “Your majesty,” she exclaimed, giving him a deep curtsy.

“I now know your true purpose for coming to Asgard, Lady Erna.”

She managed a less than dignified, “Huh?” in response. She was startled that the king even knew her name. The sooner she could make a polite exit, the less damage her big mouth was likely to do.

“Trying to poach the palace servants. Honestly, I would have thought better of a daughter of Alfheim.” He squinted at her and she felt like a prey being scrutinized by a predator. “Although, you are terribly short. Are you sure you’re a light elf?”

His tone was playful, but it rankled her all the same. Her reply was cool, if not curt. “I’m a runt by all standards, your majesty, but yes I am a light elf.”

Rather than humor or anger, pity flashed across his face. It was quickly replaced by a grin, but she’d glimpsed it. Odd. “I’ve been terribly rude, haven’t I?” His question was odder still.

“Well, if I’m being honest, your majesty, yes you have.”

“I apologize, Erna.” He took her hand and bowed before placing a kiss on it. “Somewhere up in Valhalla my mother is cursing my bad manners.”

“I thought Valhalla was reserved for warriors.” Before she could stop herself she’d replied, contrary to her sensible plan of shutting up and getting out of there.

The smile he flashed was rueful. “She may not have been a traditional warrior, but my mother deserves to be in Valhalla more than anyone I’ve ever known.” Not sure how to respond, she stayed quiet. “But I fear I’ve taken up too much of your time.” That was polite king speak for _I’m too busy to continue speaking to you_ and she knew it.

“Thank you, your majesty.” She had no idea what she was thanking him for, but it seemed the polite thing to say. “And I promise I’ll try to curtail my servant poaching impulses while I’m in Asgard.”

“I would see it as a personal favor, thank you.” He snapped a finger and a guard appeared from a nearby side corridor. Funny how none of the blasted guards could be found when she’d needed one. “See that Lady Erna finds her chambers. We can’t have her getting lost again.”

Before she had a chance to think of a proper reply, he was gone in a swish of leather and silk, leaving her to trail mutely after her new guide.


	3. Chapter 3

“Erna! Errrrrrna!” She sighed heavily, hearing her father shout her name. “Where are you, girl?”

Well past girlhood, it always angered her when he called her girl. She silently hoped he would give up when he found her bedroom empty. She was reclining on a couch on the balcony and had no desire to speak to her father. She already had a very good idea of the subject he’d like to broach.

But the heavy tread of his boots on the stone floor came closer and she heard him grunt in triumph. “There you are!”

She feigned sleepy confusion, letting him think he’d just roused her from a nap. “Father, what a nice surprise.” The words felt heavy in her mouth, but he didn’t notice her obvious distaste. Typical.

“What in the Allfather’s name happened this morning?” He towered over her, blue eyes watery in the late afternoon light. He’d probably already had several tankards of ale this afternoon. Tall and thick, he was built like a barrel. To hear the servants tell it, he was once a fine specimen in his warrior days, but a fondness for port and rich foods left him with a belly he tried in vain to disguise with his robes. They were such a visual contrast to one another in most ways, but he did share her red-gold hair, although silver had begun to creep into his neatly trimmed beard.

“What do you mean, father?” If he insisted on treating her like an idiot, she would act like one.

“You spoke to the king and I had to hear about it from a _servant_?” He made the simple act of conversing with someone of lower social status than him sound like some filthy chore. For what had to be the thousandth time, she wondered how they were even related to each other.

“I got lost on the way to breakfast and he saw me as he was leaving the hall. We exchanged a handful of words.” Strictly speaking it was more than that, but she didn’t want to get into the particulars of the conversation.

“What did he say?” He enunciated each word as if speaking to a small child.

“He told me breakfast was already over, but that my servants could have something sent to my room.”

“And?”

“And then he had a guard escort me back to my chambers so I wouldn’t get lost again.”

“So you weren’t alone with him?”

“No.” Reynard could be unusually thick sometimes. It was why him treating her like an imbecile exasperated her all the more. Although his lack of cunning made him far easier to outwit. “Obviously not if word got out that we spoke.”

“Good. Yes. That makes sense.” Only after she’d pointed it out to him. Some of the angry color started to recede from his cheeks and he seemed calmer. “But you know, girl, that you’re never to be alone with him. The Asgardian court doesn’t tolerate that kind of behavior. This isn’t Alfheim.”

“A fact you reminded me of before we left, while we traveled, and when we first got here. I understand, father.”

“See that you do. We can’t afford another incident like the snow elf one, not here. Your reputation wouldn’t withstand something like that in this realm.”

 She leapt to her feet and glared up at him, pure rage flashing in her amber eyes. Now she was the angry one. “That was a long time ago! I understand the damn rules now, all right?”

Not understanding the true threat of her anger, he smiled placidly at her. “And be sure to watch your language when you’re at court. It’s bad enough vulgar words leave your pretty little mouth in your chambers, but at least keep yourself in check in public.” He had no idea how she was keeping herself _in check_ even now. Father or not, if her staff was in her hand, she’d likely knock him onto his back given the chance.

“I have to dress for dinner now, father,” she practically hissed the words at him.

“Wear something green if you would, it’s the king’s favorite color.”

It took every ounce of control to stay silent as he strode from the room. He’d probably write home to his wife that night and brag about what a fine parent he was, guiding his wayward daughter in proper behavior. Proper. She’d never hated a word so much in all her life. It was supposed to govern her every thought and action and she wanted to throttle the people who’d decided what _proper_ womanly demeanor was.

And she couldn’t fault the women that actually enjoyed the pursuits everyone kept shoving down her throat. There were times when she found such things as needlework soothing, but the minute a man like her father pushed her to it because something else she wanted to do wasn’t seemly, well it made her fucking mad.

“Fuuuuuck!” She screamed the word at the top of her lungs once she heard the door close behind him. “Fuck fuck fuck. I’ll say it as often as I fucking please you misogynistic prick! Gods forbid if I talk to a man alone, lest Yggdrasil might explode! If I saw a cock before my wedding day it would likely bring about Ragnarok.” The outburst made her feel better, although she wished she was able to shout it directly at her father. But as much as she wanted to rub his nose in his idiotic beliefs, she didn’t want to be disowned. Her life was difficult enough as a noblewoman, it would be infinitely worse without her family’s resources.

As she prepared for the meal, she idly considered running off to become a Shield Maiden. She’d be trading one set of vigorous dogma for another, but maybe it could offer her a worthwhile path for her life. And maybe she’d fit in there better than at home. A maid interrupted that line of thought with a letter.

When Erna asked who sent it, the woman just shrugged and said it had been slipped under the door.

She nearly fainted when she read the words.

> _I apologize for getting you into trouble. But I did check, and Yggdrasil is still in one piece, so no lasting damage seems to have occurred. I’ll ensure that all the men’s breeches are tightly cinched though. It’s too soon in my reign to deal with the apocalypse._
> 
> _L_

She’d been on the balcony during her outburst. And the king had overheard her. There had to be a hole somewhere in the palace that she could disappear into. As much as she was dreading dinner before, it now multiplied by a thousandfold. But avoiding the great hall would likely bring another visit from her father and there was only so much she could stomach in one day. She threw the note into the fire before trudging out with a handmaiden in tow.

Once in the hall, she ate as quickly as she could without garnering even more attention. For once in her life, she must have appeared the perfect little lady, with downcast eyes, silently listening to the conversation around her.

Her mind whirled with questions. What had been the purpose of letting her know he’d overheard her? Maybe it was just his trickster nature. There were many such stories circulating around the palace, although most were from the time before he took the throne. The only reason she could come up with, was that he’d simply seen the opportunity to make a visiting lady uncomfortable and seized it, likely finding it a terribly funny joke.

Her suspicions were confirmed when he caught her eye entering the hall. He looked directly at her and gave a small smile before alighting to the high table. Rather than the mortification she’d expected to feel, defiance bloomed in her chest. She held his gaze and offered a small nod. It wasn’t exactly disrespectful, but it wasn’t embarrassment either.

Feeling that she’d succeeded in sending _some kind_  of message, she excused herself and left the hall.


	4. Chapter 4

Erna was beginning to tire of Asgard. It continued to be more beautiful and exciting than home, but the atmosphere of the court could be so suffocating. Everyone was so much more concerned with what good young ladies should and should not do than they were back in Alfheim. Earlier in the week she’d preferred to stay curled up in her room with a book rather than join a hunting expedition and tongues had started to wag. It was as if the court moved as a pack and any deviation was seen as abhorrent.

And with the exception of Lady Sif and a few others, her peers seemed spiteful, petty, and unimaginative. At least at home she could slip over to the local ale house for some ribald jokes and tawdry stories with the peasants. Here that kind of behavior would scandalize the whole city. Asgardians must be born with sticks up their asses, she decided.

She was tired and restless, pacing her room. Even the mead she’d had brought to her didn’t seem to mellow her mood. She had half a tankard left and it wasn’t likely to help her rest. Contemplating how much longer her father could drag out the visit, she jabbed at the logs in the fireplace with a poker. The problem, she knew, was that she didn’t feel at home anywhere.

When the door to her chambers opened, she’d expected a servant to ask if she needed anything before bed. Instead, she was confronted with the king, sweeping in as if it were the most natural occurrence in the world.

"I need an heir," he stated simply as soon as the door closed behind him.

Despite her surprise, she answered easily, mind yearning for an interesting conversation partner. "Yes, you do. And I need a husband." If he was surprised by her own blunt assertion, he didn't let it show.

"Ah, so it's as I thought. Your father brought you along to tempt me."

"Probably, but I'm not privy to his inane plots. He says I'm here to broaden my knowledge of the other realms. It's probably rubbish."

"If he's going to use you, the least he could do is let you in on the plan." That mischievous smile he was so well-known for made an appearance, but she saw it didn't quite reach his eyes. No matter the expression on his face, his eyes always managed to look melancholy.

"Rather rude, isn't it?"

"Terribly. That's why I decided to bypass him and deal directly with you." He stopped pacing and finally settled on a couch near the fire.

“As tiresome as I find social convention, you’re doing my reputation irreparable damage by coming to see me alone.” Despite her reprimand, the tone of her words was more playful and curious than anything. She was intrigued. Loki didn't seem the type of man to do anything that wasn’t premeditated.

“As far as anyone saw, a maid just entered your chambers to help ready you for bed. The king is up in his study on the other side of the castle. Your sterling reputation remains intact.”

“Ah, so nobody knows the king has employed trickery to gain entry to my rooms and has given himself an airtight alibi should I make trouble. Yes sire, I’m tremendously relieved.” Again, her chosen words seemed to be at odds with the humor in her voice. Nothing in her manner was wary or combative. “Especially with you bringing up the subject of an heir.”

Two could banter, he thought. “You don’t seem particularly outraged at the prospect of the king beguiling you for his own ends.”

“Rest assured, if the king ever tried to _beguile_ me without my consent, he’d be in for… let’s just say a _savage_ reminder regarding proper behavior.”

“Duly noted. But I assure you, I have no such motives. I merely wished to have a quiet word with you, without the gossip that would normally accompany such a tête-à-tête.”

“Please do continue, your majesty.”

 "I need an heir," he repeated. "And a wife that will help me stabilize the realms and cement my place as king. The light elves are a peaceful people by nature and I think choosing a queen from amongst them will serve my ends nicely."

"And you want to know if I have sway with any of Freyr's daughters?"

"Freyr isn't of Alfheim. He may rule there, but he is as much an outsider as I am here in Asgard. I need a light elf."

"So nobility, but not someone from the royal family?"

"Exactly." He stared at her, finally raising one eyebrow in question.

"You mean _me_?" He’d surprised her. The numerous reasons she’d concocted to explain his clandestine appearance had not taken this motive into account.

"Erna, I've watched you at court. You hide a shrewd mind behind polite conversation and womanly charms. From what I've been told, you are well-liked by your own people and by the royals in Alfheim. I need someone like you to bring legitimacy to my rule."

Suddenly, she was angry, eyes flashing as she almost hissed out her words. "And I trade my father's rules for yours? I can look forward to playing the obedient little wife as I give you a litter of children?"

He held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "We're not talking about subjugation, Erna. This would be a mutually beneficial arrangement. You can do as you like in Asgard. All I ask is that you serve as my queen consort- my _partner_ in rule, not a prisoner. I know you don't have that kind of freedom now."

"You seem to know a great deal about me, your grace."

"We're discussing the finer points of my marriage proposal, please feel free to call me Loki."

"Lest I forget I'm talking to the famous trickster."

Anger clouded his face for a moment, but replaced with a placid smile almost immediately. "I suppose I deserve that after all I've done. But the fact remains I am the best king for Asgard. We are at peace, albeit a grudging one, and I intend to keep it that way. But it would be chaos if I die without a successor- and not just in Asgard. You've seen how war can spill over into the other realms."

"So you're really asking me for selfless reasons?"

"Not entirely, I'll admit that. I like being king and I want to stay in power."

"Why not just ask my father? He'd agree in a heartbeat if it meant he could be the king's father-in-law."

"Believe it or not I do want a woman that _consents_ to be my wife. I will not engage in any kind of coercion in this. What kind of a precedent would that set for our marriage?"

"You sound as if you're certain I'll agree."

"I know how very unhappy you are with your current life. I'm offering a way to change your circumstances."

"No mention of love in all your arguments." He wasn't wrong about her life. It was tedious and unfulfilling, promising more of the same when she returned home.

"We're naive if either of us thinks love is possible in our positions." The truth of it was undeniable, but still managed to sting. She quickly suppressed the painful memories stirred by his words as he continued. "The most we can hope for is a genuine fondness and a relationship based on shared goals."

"What about trust? You know your reputation. How can I believe anything you say?"

She'd expected to see the anger again, almost hoping to gauge this man that suddenly wanted to be her husband. The sincerity that shone through despite the dim firelight genuinely surprised her. "I promise to never lie to you, Erna. I want you to trust me. I wouldn't have laid everything out so bluntly if I wasn't serious about this. If I wanted a puppet of a wife I could easily have charmed you into it with honeyed words and promises of love. Your mind is wasted in Alfheim, at the mercy of a father who doesn't respect your intellect. A situation I recognize all too clearly."

"You think you could have just conjured love out of nothing?"

The impish smile returned. "I'm skilled in the ways of magic, Erna. And while I try to be more judicious with my use of it, if I chose to, you'd be begging me to marry you. But it wouldn't be real. I want to build something with you, something more substantial than a temporary rush of lust."

"Speaking of lust, I'm not a virgin, if that's what you're looking for." Again, she went for the shocking comment, to see is response to such a brash statement.

His answering snort of laughter put her slightly more at ease. "The idea of a pure virginal bride doesn't appeal to me. Those are girls that know nothing of the world beyond their embroidery and gossip."

"Any high-born lady must learn embroidery and gossip is just as much a weapon as that staff you wield."

"The fact that you understand that just proves my point! You would be an excellent queen. I've seen how compassionate you can be, but you're not a push over either. You'd be such an asset to me."

"We've barely spoken since I arrived. How do you know I’m compassionate?"

"It may sound outlandish, but I have ears everywhere. I have to know the climate of the palace at any given time and I need to be able to respond quickly if it changes."

"So you've had people spy on me."

"Yes." He held up a hand to stay the protest forming on her lips. "I told you I wouldn't lie to you and this is the truth. I do have informants in the palace, but most don't even know about it. I glean what I need to know from their thoughts. Actually, the ones that know they're feeding me information are generally the least reliable. I had to get the measure of you and not just the public face you'd show the king."

She considered his words for a long minute before responding. "Tell me what really happened with Odin then."

"I know what the rumors say, but I assure you I didn't murder him. What everyone saw when I returned from my supposed death was a carefully orchestrated show. I came back in secret and revealed myself to Odin privately. He didn't take it well. I suppose you could say I was somewhat responsible for his death, but as I said, I didn't murder him."

"The sight of you resurrected was that much of a surprise?"

"Apparently. I knew nobody would believe that I wasn't complicit in his death, so I used my powers to stand in for him while I formed a plan. Ruling came naturally to me, but I knew I couldn't keep up the charade forever. Through the use of magic, I made my triumphant return to Asgard and reconciled with my father. But any time the two of us were together, one was an illusion. Eventually, Odin was found dead in his chambers while I was away touring the other realms. And although I can't stop tongues from wagging, there were no signs of foul play to jeopardize my ascension."

“How much does your brother know?”

“All of it. Trust me, as much as he wishes to avoid the throne, he would have challenged my ascension if he wasn’t satisfied with my account of events.”

"And based on what you said earlier, the rumors about your real parentage are true?"

"Yes. I've finally made peace with it. And while the rumors may swirl, I can never admit to the people that I'm not of Asgardian birth."

“So you’re an outsider too,” she mused almost to herself.

“Yes,” he replied simply. “And I have been wherever I’ve gone. I was a runt by Jotunheim standards, too intellectual for my father, and I never felt like I really belonged even here in Asgard.”

“Why stay? Why go through all this trouble to secure the throne and fight so hard to keep it?”

“I was groomed for it and I’m good at it.” She gave him a reproachful look and he elaborated. “And I think if I’m to carve out a place for myself in this world it might as well be as king. Don’t you see, Erna? Neither of us _fit_."

“Tell me about Midgard.”

“What about it?”

“You tried to conquer it, did you not?”

“I did.”

“Then I would like more of an explanation than two words, Loki.” This was the closest he’d come to being cagey and she wasn’t going to have any of it. “You tried to conquer another realm and you hurt a lot of people in the attempt.”

“I’m well aware of what I did,” he snapped. After a deep breath he apologized. “I’m sorry, Erna. You have every right to know. I’m not proud of what I became during that time. I was upset and hurting and when I fell into Thanos’ realm, his plan sounded like the fastest way to inflict that hurt on others.

“I know it’s no excuse, but the mind gem worked its insidious craft on me as well. I wielded it, but it made me feel like taking Midgard was the only logical option.”

“You know it’s why everyone is so wary of you.”

“Yes, I know. But locking me in prison was the best thing my mother could have done for me. I was forced to be alone with my thoughts and work through everything without being able to hurt anyone in the process. It took a long time, but by the time I returned I think I finally understood what it was to be a good king. It sounds ludicrous, but it’s the truth.”

She sat back against the chair and pondered his words carefully. A swell of apprehension overcame him, almost causing him to elaborate further, but she had the facts and would have to make up her own mind. Effusive words wouldn’t change the situation.

After what felt like an interminable silence, she nodded and replied, “We will have to make this look authentic if anyone’s to believe it isn’t a political game. We’ll have to officially ‘meet’ and we have to show the development of our relationship in a manner acceptable to the palace inhabitants.”

“You think we need to manufacture a courtship?” He seemed less than convinced.

“Yes. Wouldn't you rather your enemies assume I'm a weakness of yours because we’re stupidly in love? You and I both know that your brother’s position in Asgard was weakened when he took the Midgardian Foster woman as his wife, because he _loves_ her. Wouldn't it be to your advantage to have people think you have a weakness where none really exists?”

“You’ve thought this through quickly.”

“Just using the brain you keep bringing up.”

“So you would have me publicly woo you?”

“Don't make it sound so tedious! It has to be a show people will actually believe. If you suddenly start following me around with a lute spouting love songs, people will assume you’re up to something.” She gave him a wry smile. “I expect a courtship that people would believe from you.”

“And what makes you think I'm incapable of epic romance?” He sounded scandalized, but his eyes twinkled mischievously.

“It might be the fact that we’re negotiating a marriage as if it was a trade contract.”

“Point taken.” He seemed to be enjoying the discussion rather than being stung by her rather frank comment. “So you envision a courtship of some sort, but nothing outlandish.”

“Yes. Because as far as the court knows, we’ve barely spoken to each other. If we announce our betrothal tomorrow it will be seen for exactly what it is: a power play.”

“Well reasoned. So you accept my proposal then?”

“The fact remains that I hardly know you.”

“That’s the case with most marriages.” He studied her earnest face for a moment before surprising even himself with an additional concession. “We can get to know each other as I pretend to woo you. Would that help you feel more comfortable before making your vows?”

“If you keep your promise to never to lie to me, then I think that will be agreeable.”

“So you accept?”

“I can't accept a proposal that hasn't actually been made.”

He grinned, happy her quick mind didn't miss that detail. “Lady Erna, would you consent to be my wife?”

The devilish smile he wore as he asked the question didn't send the best message, but she’d have time to change that before they arranged the public proposal. “I provisionally accept your offer.”

“Provisionally. I suppose that’s the most I can expect from such a skilled negotiator.”

“You flatter me, your majesty.”

“It's not flattery if it’s the truth, Erna. I'm not one to bandy excessive compliments where they aren't warranted.”

For the first time she seemed genuinely embarrassed. He noted that frank discussions of politics, sexual proclivities, and marriage didn't cause so much as a blush, but one well-deserved compliment flustered her. It might very well be interesting to get to know his future wife before their marriage.

She coughed and managed to regain her composure, focusing on the task at hand. “Well, I will plan to be in the library after the midday meal tomorrow. Perhaps you could run into me there and we could have a quiet chat. A quiet chat that enough courtiers could witness to ensure the palace would be gossiping about nothing else by dinner.”

“Are you prepared for the onslaught of new _friends_ you’ll likely gain once the king’s attention is turned upon you?”

“I'm more than capable of taking care of myself, Loki.”

“I have no doubt of that, Erna. But I would like you to start thinking of us as a team. This will be mutually beneficial, but we have to work together.”

“A team,” she mused. “All right. It will take some getting used to, but I’ll try.”

“I’ve been on my own of late as well, so it will be an adjustment for me too.”

They sat in companionable silence for several minutes, each thinking the situation through. Eventually, a thought struck her. “Loki, can I ask you a question?”

“Anything, Erna.”

“The day we first met, when I was late to breakfast. How did you know I’d been lost? For all you knew, I overslept or just wanted to avoid the crowd. But you knew I’d been _lost_. How?”

“Halfrida,” he replied simply, not bothering to conceal a knowing grin.

“There was no time after she left to tell you what happened. You appeared immediately afterward!”

“Appeared is not an incorrect choice of words, but you misunderstood me. I _was_ Halfrida.”

“You just _happened_ to be in disguise as a washerwoman on the day I _happened_ to get lost on my way to breakfast?”

At least he had the decency to look slightly embarrassed. “I tricked you into taking the wrong route and I put myself in your path.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to get the measure of you, to see if you would suit my ends.”

“It seems the wooing has already begun.” Sarcasm dripped from every word. “What a colossally romantic sentiment, my lord!” She stalked over to the remnants of mead still left in her tankard and downed it in one gulp. “Oh children,” she railed, “the day your father decided I would _suit his ends_ was the happiest of my life!”

“Why is this, of all the things we’ve discussed, upsetting to you?”

“You can’t just do whatever you like, Loki! King or not, that was duplicitous and wrong.”

“I’m being duplicitous right now, letting everyone think a handmaiden entered your chambers instead of the king. Yet that didn’t outrage you.” He stayed seated, calmly enduring her attacks.

“That… well that’s just  _different_.”

“Different because it’s other people being fooled and not you?”

She paused before letting another diatribe loose and thought about his words. What kind of right did she have to make such a distinction? Sitting heavily on the bench nearby, she realized that she _did_ think it different. The thought was not a pleasant one.

 “Yes,” she admitted simply, feeling every bit a monster for saying such.

“Erna,” he rose and strode over to her, kneeling in front of her. “You aren’t _other people_. Not anymore. One of the reasons I violated your privacy and spied on you was to determine if I could trust you far enough to have this talk with you tonight. Think upon all I’ve revealed to you. I can’t just line up every marriageable maid that comes to the palace and offer them this kind of proposition. So I watched you and you didn’t disappoint.”

“I’m a _good_ person! Thinking your antics are permissible as long as they’re not being used on me is wrong.”

“It’s not wrong, it’s realistic. Any king that doesn’t have a healthy mistrust of his court is just waiting to be deposed. But of your goodness, I have no doubt, Erna. It’s one of the reasons I brought my proposal to you. You’ll make a fine queen.”

She stared forward, as if she didn’t hear of see him. “How many times?”

“Several. Some I just listened from complete concealment and others, as with Halfrida, I interacted with you.” She stayed silent, so he explained further. “Don’t you see, Erna? I had to know how you behaved when nobody of consequence was watching. How a person treats their subordinates is very telling, particularly when there’s no reason to show them kindness. My mother taught me that.”

Finally looking down at him, he saw the anguish etched on her face. “How will I ever know I’m not speaking to you in disguise, Loki? How can I ever trust you or anything that happens in the whole fucking palace after knowing this?”

“Because I’m telling you everything now. Because I’m past having to use tricks on you, Erna. I’m choosing to trust you with all we’ve discussed tonight and I’m making a promise never to deceive you again. I was serious when I said this wouldn’t work if we don’t trust each other.”

“I don’t know what to think,” she admitted simply, suddenly very weary.

“I’ve asked a lot of you tonight, I know.” He took her hands in his own and she couldn’t help but notice how heartfelt he looked. “Tell you what, we’ll keep your provisional acceptance and I’ll prove my words to you during our courtship. If you see anything you don’t think can be overcome, you let me know and we’ll end this. It will be entirely up to you.”

“I get to choose?”

“Of course. I meant what I said, Erna. I want a partner not a puppet.”

“I need to think.”

“You need to rest too.” His tone was so tender and such a contrast to the sneering superiority she knew he was capable of. “If you want to postpone your library visit, I’d understand.”

“No I… I’m not sure.”

“Well, I’ll be there tomorrow. If you’re not, I’ll assume you’re not ready yet.”

“Okay.” It was all she was capable of replying. He was right about the sleep. She was exhausted from their talk and needed to be alone before she could ponder things further.

He stood, again reminding her how very tall he was. “I want this to work, Erna. If you need anything, just ask.” He took one of her hands and kissed it lightly. “Goodnight.”

He was gone before she had a chance to reply.


	5. Chapter 5

As tired as she was, Erna spent half the night contemplating the king’s offer. Other than her siblings, there was nothing left for her in Alfheim. Going back would mean her father would eventually marry her off to some odious nobleman. And although Loki expected her to give him children, it was with her consent. In many ways he was so unlike the men she’d known at home or at the Asgardian court. He’d treated her like an equal from the outset.

In the end, the decision was a simple one. She’d be foolish not to at least try. As he’d said, she could always bow out if it didn’t feel like it would work. Her alternative was heading home with her father, destined for an unhappy lot in life. And it wasn’t the power that was the seduction in his proposition. No, the prospect of being queen wasn’t the draw. It was the _freedom_. Hell, she didn’t even know if she would be a good queen, but she knew she’d be happier as a free woman.

Once she finally resigned herself to giving Loki’s plan a go, she found it easy to drift into a contented sleep.

The next morning, however, left her impatient and restless in an entirely different way than she’d felt before Loki breezed into her chambers. The morning crawled by and even the courtier’s gossip couldn’t distract her from the planned meeting. It was an odd feeling to know that in a matter of hours they’d be gossiping about her.

The luncheon in Asgard was generally a relaxed gathering, so no heavy social interactions were expected of her. She picked at the food on her plate though, unable to muster much of an appetite. There was no reason to be nervous, she kept telling herself. This was just the first part of what would be a carefully orchestrated show. But she wasn’t used to being the center of attention, much less the center of the entire palace’s attention.

She wondered how Loki would know where to find her in the cavernous library and debated whether to frequent her preferred nook or to find somewhere more public to wait. Deciding not to deviate from her usual habit, she opted to retire to her favorite chair with an interesting volume she’d found. Attention would follow the king no matter where he ventured and she’d rather be on somewhat familiar ground. A nagging thought told her that Loki probably already knew her favorite spot anyway.

Though fascinating, the volume on alchemy she pretended to read couldn’t capture her attention. Excitement and apprehension warred with each other as she pretended to read. When a deep voice greeted her, she almost cried in relief.

“Lady Erna, what a pleasant surprise to find you here.”

“Your majesty,” she greeted him stiffly, only able to jump to her feet and curtsy out of habit. Silently she thanked her nannies for drilling this kind of etiquette into her head. Their charade was just starting and she was nervous already.

“I’m hoping you can help me.” He grinned at her, back to any curious courtiers that might be watching. He offered her a wink and she felt the tiniest bit calmer. They’d discussed this and she was in as much control of it as he was. She could do this.

“I’ll do what I can, sire.”

“I’m looking for a particular tome on alchemical reagents and the librarian thought you may have borrowed it.” That was likely rubbish. Nobody had paid any attention to her as she searched the shelves for a new book.

“I have it here,” she handed the book to him. “Of course you have first claim, as this is _your_ library and I’m merely a guest.” Already she’d glimpsed three ladies walk past the alcove, taking notice of the conversation. It was a heady feeling to know that something they’d planned in advance was working exactly as imagined.

“I wouldn’t want to take it from you, Erna.”

“I insist, your majesty. I’ll be happy to read it when you’re finished with it.”

“I could offer you a compromise. I just need it to confirm a few calculations I’m making.” He paused as if considering the situation. She could see how much fun he was having. “Why don’t I return it to you at dinner? Sup with me and I’ll make it up to you for absconding with your book.”

“Really, your majesty, it’s no trouble.” She tried to communicate her horror to him, having no idea he’d move so quickly. “I wouldn’t want to impose.” Suddenly gossip had turned into dinner in front of the whole court and she wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“Nonsense,” he declared warmly. “I insist you join me. We can discuss your interest in alchemy. It’s not often I find a fellow admirer of it to converse with.”

As if she had any recourse to decline. “Thank you. I would be honored.”

“Wonderful! I’ll send someone to fetch you once my council meeting is done.”

His smug, knowing smile left her with a new urge to commit regicide. They hadn’t discussed anything of this magnitude so soon. She promised herself that she’d have a private word with him as soon as possible, but even the thought made her uneasy. How did one demand a private meeting with the king? As far as anyone else knew, she was just a light elf visiting the capital with her father.

Somehow she managed the expected, “Thank you, my lord,” in reply. The surreal feeling just intensified after he took his leave. She became acutely aware of the whispers around her and nobody approached her as she walked back to her room.

In less than an hour, her father bounded into her chambers, a cunning smile on his round face. “Dinner with the king! From what I’ve been told, that doesn’t just happen.”

“I take it you approve?” She’d hoped she wouldn’t have to deal with her father just yet, but then again the day hadn’t exactly gone to plan. Well, not _her_ plan anyway.

“Approve? Of course I approve!” This was more spring in his step than she’d seen in weeks, but something about his ebullient attitude made her uneasy. “Just be yourself and he’ll be eating out of your hand in no time!”

“Myself? Since when do you think being myself is the right move in any situation? Barely a fortnight ago you reminded me that my usual behavior would be looked upon with a critical eye here in Asgard.”

“You make it sound as if I disapprove of my own daughter.” The shocked outrage in his voice only made her angry.

“You _disapprove_ of my behavior on a daily basis! I haven’t found a husband yet, I read more than is seemly for a woman, my temper is too quick to overflow, I’m too lenient with the servants, the list goes on and on.”

“I’ve never _once_ chastened you for not getting married!” He might actually believe the nonsense he spouted, she realized.

“No, you leave that to your wife while you sit by and say _nothing_ in my defense!”

“Your mother just wants what is best for you.”

“Don’t think for one minute that I believe her cutting comments are meant to come out of maternal affection. _That woman_ has always resented my presence. So don’t pretend that your only goal is to see me happy.”

By this point his face was beet red and all he could muster was a series of angry grunts. Not eager to wait for his voice to return, she stormed out of the room, intent on finding a quiet spot and gathering herself before she was summoned by the king. She wanted to hit something and longed for her staff and a training dummy. There was no time for any of it though. She couldn’t just march to the palace training grounds and demand a place to practice. Even if the court sanctioned such behavior from a woman, she didn’t have time to change and bathe after the kind of sparring she needed after such an exchange.

So she tucked herself away in a small, lonely garden on the north side of the palace. As she sunk down onto one of the carved wooden benches, she chastised herself for getting so angry. In the end it hadn’t done her any good. Her father would still be the same man he always was and she only managed to upset herself. But there was a part of her that just couldn’t believe that he would be so sure Erna’s true personality would be enough to enchant the king. Her father had no idea that was exactly what Loki claimed to be true. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

When a soft cough and the greeting, “Lady Erna,” intruded into her thoughts, she was startled to see it was already twilight. “The king has requested that I escort you to the dining hall.”

“Of course.” She stood and smoothed the front of her dress, remembering for the first time that she should have changed into something more elegant for dinner with the king. She cursed her father’s intrusion. If he wouldn’t have interrupted her, she could have properly prepared for the evening. Well, nothing to be done now, she thought as she followed the hulking soldier to her second public performance of the day.


	6. Chapter 6

Loki stood when she joined him at the raised high table. Much to her relief, no other diners sat within earshot of them. They both stayed silent as the servants bustled around them, laying out more food and drink than any two people would ever need.

When they were finally as alone as communal dining would allow, Loki raised an eyebrow at her. “I summoned you ages ago, Erna. Did you keep me waiting in recompense for asking you to dinner?” Gratefully, she saw he seemed more amused than anything.

“No, actually I hadn’t planned that, but it does serve you right. I was probably difficult to find, now that I think about it. I didn’t stay in my chambers this afternoon.”

“And why is that?”

She got the distinct impression he already knew the answer to his question, but played along anyway. “Because I had a row with my father.”

“Oh? About what?”

“About you.”

“Ah, he doesn’t approve of my attentions?”

“Quite the contrary. He was _too_ exuberant. He seems to think I can charm you and made me feel like a pawn in a game I didn’t even know he was playing.” She surprised herself by admitting this to him so readily.

“Little does he know, we’re playing our own game. And I assure you, Erna, you’re nobody’s pawn.”

“Not even yours?”

“No, not even mine.”

“You certainly acted like it today. We didn’t discuss anything like this,” she gestured at the hall and the dozens of eyes observing them.

“How many casual library meetings did you think we’d get away with before people got suspicious?” He didn’t let her answer before continuing. “I wanted to gauge the palace’s reaction to my invitation and it might as well have been tonight.”

“I expect more notice next time you decide to accelerate our timeline. And actually, I expect to discuss such changes with you _before_ you unilaterally decide to act. You keep telling me we’re partners in this and I’d like to be treated as such.”

He considered her for a moment, head cocked slightly to one side. She stared right into his pale eyes as they looked upon her, intent on asserting her position as his equal. Even a day ago the thought of being equal to the king would have struck her as mad, but now it seemed imperative that they both accept it.

“Point well made, Erna. I apologize for not consulting you properly. Now, you should eat something. You barely touched your lunch and I need you in peak form tomorrow.”

“What are you planning for tomorrow?” She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.

“I’ll explain it to you later tonight. Might I visit you after your servants have retired?”

“Another clandestine visit from the king. Is this going to become a habit, Loki?”

He laughed at the semi-scandalized look on her face, knowing full well how she truly felt about the social conventions of his court. “It just might, little elf. It just might.”

Before they parted, Loki made a grand show of bowing to her and kissing her hand. It felt like something out of a young girl’s fantasy, the gallant king courting the young maiden. It made her smile to think it was so much more devious than that, but nobody would ever know but them.

Without knowing how Loki would be sure when her servants retired, she went about her normal routine. She bathed and dressed for bed before sending her handmaidens away. Owing his timing to some uncanny sense, he entered the room only minutes after they’d left her.

“How did you know I’d be alone,” she asked, shaking her head in amazement.

“Simple. I placed wards around your servant’s chambers, so I knew as soon as they entered. I assumed you’d sent them off for the night.”

“They’re probably not asleep yet, you know.”

“Erna, I have wards set on your room as well. We could hold battle in here and nobody outside would hear a thing.”

“That’s not exactly comforting, Loki.”

“It should be. We can be completely candid without fear of being overheard.”

“I should have known a man wouldn’t consider it from a woman’s perspective.”

“Then by all means enlighten me.”

“I’d be unable to raise an alarm if you took it upon yourself to attack me. That’s why the idea isn’t entirely reassuring.”

“Do you think you need to be protected from me?” He stepped closer, looming over her.

The wicked gleam in his eye told her that protection was probably the smart choice, but some other sense told her that she was safe with him. “I don’t think so,” she finally admitted.

“But what if I decided it would be a good idea to kiss you right now?”

“Right now, I’d say that it was too soon into our arrangement for that. And I’d have to make my _preferences_ known if you tried such a rash gesture without my consent.”

“Ah, but I’m much larger than you, little elf.” He took another step forward.

“But, your majesty,” she gave him a sickly sweet smile. “I can just as easily ram my foot into your groin from this height as any other.” She took a step towards him, nonplussed by his assumed dominance. “I can’t promise your cock would be the same after such _attentions_.”

He broke out into a broad grin and sprawled out on a nearby sofa. “Well done, Erna. I didn’t take you for a wilting flower, but it’s nice to have that confirmation. I would expect nothing less from my future queen.”

“That was a test?”

“Of course.” He seemed inordinately pleased with himself, watching as she sunk into a seat of her own. “But I will take your words to heart. I will see about amending the spell. I’m sure I can work it in such a way that the ward will allow a call of true distress to supersede the sound dampening effect.”

“I would appreciate that, thank you.” She sighed heavily, the long day catching up with her. A very large part of her just wanted to crawl in bed and forget about everything. But a talk was in order before she’d be able to indulge that desire. “You have something you wished to discuss with me?”

“I’d like to know more about you.”

“I thought you knew everything there was to know after you mercilessly spied on me.”

“Erna, are you still upset about that?”

She thought for a moment and answered honestly. “No, surprisingly I’m not. I don’t know whether to be concerned about that or not.”

“I appreciate your honesty,” he said with a chuckle. Gone was the menacing brute that loomed over her mere moments ago. He was all smiles and affability. She wondered if she’d ever get used to his mercurial nature. “But I’d actually like to hear about you from, well, _you_.”

“Fair enough. What would you like to know?”

“Tell me of your family.”

“Well, you’ve met my father…”

“Actually, I haven’t. I was serious when I said I’d rather deal with you directly.”

“You know you’re probably going to have to speak to him at some point to at least give the illusion that he has a say in this.” The idea of her father having to approve the match sent a tremor of rage through her, but she reminded herself that she was in control, not him. The idea of governing her own future was so liberating. She supposed she had Loki to thank for that.

“We’ll give him a grand show when the time comes, I promise you that.” He winked at her and she couldn’t help but smile at his almost arrogant certainty. “What about everyone at home?”

“I have a stepmother, Rania, who doesn’t really care for me. But I love my half brother and sister. Eryk is twelve and Sigun is ten. They’re bright and sweet and if my father will allow it, I’d love to foster them at the palace once we’re wed.” She rushed through the last statement, suddenly wishing to look anywhere but into his eyes. For some reason, just asking made their arrangement feel _real_.

“I don’t see how he’d have room to complain. They’d have the best tutors and opportunities, the same as our children will have as a matter of fact.”

“Our children,” she mused almost to herself.

“Yes.” He studied her, trying to catch her eye and failing. She seemed almost in another world. “It just hit you, didn’t it?”

“What?” Not understanding the question, she finally looked up at him in confusion.

“Our agreement. The implications of it sunk in.”

“I… I understood what I was agreeing to,” she began lamely.

“But the full weight of the courtship and engagement and marriage and children just registered.”

“Yes.”

“It’s understandable, Erna. We’re planning the rest of our lives essentially.” He reached over and took her hand. “I hope I haven’t upset you.”

“No, it’s just…” She struggled for the right words, knowing she’d probably fail and give him the wrong impression. “It hasn’t even been two days. All of that wasn’t… I hadn’t planned for any of it.” Without preamble, a hot tear slid down her face. Instantly, she worried about how the display would be received. The last thing she’d planned on doing that night was crying in front of the damned king.

He stood and gently pulled her up into his arms. The sheer astonishment she felt at the gesture made her cry even harder and she wasn’t even sure why. “Shhhhhhh, Erna. I’m so sorry I’ve distressed you.”

“No… you… haven’t,” she managed between sobs. She preferred not to cry in front of anyone, usually holding everything in until she was alone, and the fact he was seeing it now made everything so much worse.

He waited as she cried, rubbing gentle circles over her back and holding her. When she finally felt in control of herself she blurted out the real fear she’d been harboring, one that had been brewing in the back of her mind since Loki mentioned an heir the night before. “What if I’m a horrible mother?”

“Why would you think that, Erna? It’s obvious that you care for your siblings, why would you think it would be any different with your own children?”

“I don’t… I didn’t have a real mother growing up.” She was grateful he still held her against his chest, because she had every reason not to look into his inquisitive eyes as she admitted one of her worst fears. “My mother had me and ran away from us as soon as she was able. What if I… what if I’m like her and I just _can’t_?”

“I’m not worried about that, Erna.”

She spun out of his hold and shouted, “You don’t even know me! You have no idea what will happen. It would be cruel to do that to a baby, but my mother did it to me! How do you know I won’t be the same kind of person?” The old anger and resentment bubbled up in her gut and she wanted nothing more than to strike something. Fists balled at her sides, it was a struggle not to physically lash out at Loki. She desperately wanted to inflict a physical hurt that would overwhelm the pain she felt at that moment.

Part of her expected, even _wanted_ to provoke a reaction, but he only smiled sadly at her. “Erna, you think I don’t know what fear looks like on a person? That’s what’s talking now, your fear. Trust me, I’m an expert at railing at anyone who tries to quell that fear. But I’m not worried, because I’ve observed you. I can’t believe you’d do anything but love your child.”

Erna sunk down to her knees, anger ebbing away as quickly as it had come. This time he didn’t immediately make a move to comfort her, instead continuing his case calmly. “I can’t predict what will happen with any certainty, but Erna I do believe I have the full measure of you. You are capable of this and so much more.”

“But how are you so _sure_?” She looked to be in agony.

“You may think me arrogant for saying so, but I’m an excellent judge of character. I’ve watched people for centuries and I’ve become a student of behavior. I’ll admit my aims haven’t always been pure, wanting to find those that would easily bend to my will, but the knowledge is there whether I came by it honestly or not.” He held a hand out to her. “Erna, can you try to trust me in this matter?”

“I’m so scared,” she finally admitted in a whisper.

“I know you are, little elf, but I’m here to help.” He continued to offer his hand and after a few moments of hesitation she took it and allowed him to pull her to her feet. “I regret that you’ve been disquieted by all of this, but it was something that I’m glad we discussed sooner rather than later.”

“I’m sorry I-”

He stopped her with a raised hand. The gesture wasn’t harsh, but still full of authority. “Don’t apologize for being honest with me. That’s all I really want from you, Erna.”

“And babies,” she added with snort of mirthless laughter.

“And those as well. Honesty and babies.” He smiled at her and cupped her cheek in his hand. “Neither of us are perfect, but I’m confident I understand what kind of person you are. For now, trust that.”

He leaned forward, careful to clearly display his intentions in case she chose to object, but she made no protest as he brushed his lips over hers. The kiss was brief, meant as a comfort rather than anything overtly amorous. Afterward, she was only able to nod gratefully, afraid of crying again if she spoke.

“I know you must be tired now. I’ll shelve my plans until I hear from you. Take as long as you need to work through everything.” She nodded again and managed a small smile. “If you need anything, send a servant to find Halfrida and I’ll come to you as soon as I’m able. Rest now.” This time he kissed her forehead before leaving her alone with the thoughts swirling around in her head.


	7. Chapter 7

Erna stayed in her room the next day, refusing to admit even her father. He claimed to be concerned after she didn't attend breakfast, but she knew he wanted details from her dinner with the king. She had to resort to blaming her monthly cycle for the absence to get him to go away. Nothing chased men away quicker than mention of menstrual cycles. It would be funny if it wasn't so depressing.

She just didn't have the fortitude to smile and put on a show for the court. The pack of courtiers had almost a full day to digest the reality of her meetings with the king, and it wasn't likely their stunned silence would continue. She'd probably be overcome with people suddenly interested in her every word and gesture.

One day in and she was ready for a break from the wolf pack that was the Asgardian court. Had she agreed to Loki's proposition too easily? She thought through not only their previous night's discussion about children, but how ready she was to cope with the court in the elevated position as queen. True she'd have more power than the vicious courtiers, but she'd have to constantly battle their machinations.

But she wouldn't be alone in that battle, if Loki's promises were to be believed. So far, he seemed to be upholding his side of the bargain, but she had no idea if that would last. It was the same misgiving she'd have with any suitor though. Nobody, man or woman, knew with any certainty what marriage would hold. If she wanted predictability then she'd best join a monastic order that could promise boring stability for the rest of her life.

Her mind kept drifting back to the fundamental issue: Loki was a wild card. Was she willing to accept that and start trusting him at his word?

It was something she wrestled with all morning, but she kept going back to her gut feeling that Loki was her best chance for an enjoyable life. And she already had a tenuous trust in him.

When her train of thought was interrupted by one of her handmaidens, she snapped at her in frustration. "What?"

"I'm sorry, my lady, but there's a page here that insists on speaking to you directly. We tried sending him away, but he says the king himself set this task for him."

"Fine. Send him in." Loki had promised her space, yet here he was indirectly invading it.

When the boy was brought to her, she dismissed the maids, unsure if she wanted them to hear what might be said. Time in the palace had taught her a healthy amount of wariness.

"You have a message for me?"

"Y-yes, my lady." The lad was shaking as he bowed to her. Presumably he found the task before him a daunting one. That or the thought of incurring the king's wrath terrified him. It took several failed attempts before he was able to pull a sealed envelope from his tunic and present it to her.

She tore open the gold wax seal and read the scrawling handwriting.

 

> _Erna,_
> 
> _Young Olave has been tasked with ensuring your comfort today. Hot stones to ease your pain will be supplied every hour until you no longer require them. If necessary, I can provide a potion to help with pain as well. Whatever you desire, you need just ask the boy and he will procure it._
> 
> _I hope you don't find this too meddlesome of me, but your comfort is of the utmost importance to me._
> 
> _L_

It seemed she was right to see spies everywhere. Word of her excuse had reached the king in a matter of hours. It was a bizarre feeling. Not only did he seek out the cause of her absence, he'd chosen to exhibit kindness. She probably should have felt bad for lying in the first place, but she’d done what she thought best.

“I… uh… have the hot stones for you as well, my lady. Where would you like them?”

“You can put them on the bed, Olave. Thank you.”

Stronger than he looked, the boy was able to carry two sizable river rocks wrapped in a heavy blanket. People heated them in fires and used them as bed warmers in the cold months, but they had other soothing uses as well.

“Olave, I don’t think I’ll require any more stones today, but I’ll send a servant to fetch you if I do.”

“But the king said that I was to bring them every hour on the hour without fail.” The boy looked almost frantic at being dismissed so early.

“Until I no longer need them. Don’t worry, I’ll tell the king you followed his instructions to the letter. In fact, if you give me a moment, I’ll send him back a reply.”

“Yes, my lady.” He bowed and watched silently as she found paper and ink.

 

> _Your Majesty,_
> 
> _I'll_ _have to remember how quickly word travels around the palace. But it isn’t my monthly time yet. I didn’t want to deal with my father this morning and that was the quickest way to get rid of him. This was all very kind of you though. I have no doubt Olave would have continued bringing me fresh stones until he collapsed from weariness. Please give him a cordial word- he’s terrified of you._
> 
> _I'd_ _be agreeable to hearing this plan of yours. I’ll be in my chambers all day. Talk soon?_
> 
> _Erna_

She folded the paper and poured a bit of candle wax onto the seam. Having nothing in the way of a proper seal, she pressed her thumb into the cooling wax. Olave took it with another bow and scurried away. Idly, she wondered how long it would take the busybodies of the court to start talking of the special interest the king had shown in her health. It didn’t matter, she realized. They’d gossip about any and all details of their relationship, so she might as well not let that dictate her behavior. Loki certainly seemed unconcerned about it.

It was late afternoon before he joined her, slipping into the room with barely a rustle of fabric. “You’ll be happy to know,” he announced, “that I rewarded young Olave with flagon of wine from my personal stock.”

“Ah, so now he’ll be _drunk_ and afraid of you?”

He grinned and gave her a little bow. “Something like that.”

She put her book aside and motioned for him to sit in a nearby chair. “I’d call for tea, but secret visits don’t come with all the social courtesies, I’m afraid.”

“I’m just glad you’re ready to talk again so soon.”

“With you, yes. Not so with my father.”

“You can’t avoid him indefinitely. If we’re to continue with our plan, you will have to speak to him about my courtship.” His eyes twinkled with amusement, evidently enjoying her discomfort.

“As will you, eventually.” She shot him an equally impish grin.

“I _am_ pleased to find you in good humor today, little elf.”

“Rather than the raving lunatic most women are during their cycle?”

“If more men realized what occurs during that time-frame, they wouldn’t be so quick to make such arbitrary pronouncements.”

“Oh and you’re more enlightened than most?”

“Decidedly. When I was a boy learning how to use my magic, I transformed into a maid, all to amuse my brother. My mother found us in our rooms cackling as I paraded around doing my impression of the fair sex.” Fondness and chagrin mixed on his face. “The problem was that my skill didn’t quite match up to my nerve and I wasn’t able to turn myself back without Mother’s help. But she demanded I remedy my misconceptions first. I remained in that body for well over a month and experienced menstruation first hand. I learned some valuable lessons from that experience. Only one of which involved a woman’s cycle.”

“Your mother was amazing. That is honestly the best punishment for someone like you.”

“Like me?”

“Curious and stubborn, but not wholly immovable. You react given the data you have at hand and I think you’ve long since realized that the more data you have, the better you can shape the outcome to your wishes. Your mother simply gave you more information to consider.”

When he didn’t immediately reply, she worried that she’d overstepped a boundary. But when he smiled and nodded slowly, she saw he was just considering his words. “That is an astute observation, little one. Not one that I think many would make about me.”

“Very few people actually _know_ you, Loki.”

“True. And I’m happy to count you as one of them.” And he did seem happy. The man who many found so difficult to please, never hid it when she impressed him or pleasantly surprised him. Earning such a man’s respect was gratifying, particularly when it was for things many of his sex would chastise her for.

“As am I.” She stretched and looked through the curtains to the fading afternoon light. “But it grows late and you’ll be expected at dinner soon. Tell me of this plan, Loki."

"In a fortnight I want to make a short visit to Holmsa and I'd like you to accompany me."

"Alone?"

"If wishing made it so, little elf. But no, I can't seem to go anywhere without half the court following. This is a good excuse to let people outside of the palace see you with me."

"Why Holmsa? It's not terribly far away. Couldn't you just summon the lord here?"

"I could, but Lord Starolf is an old compatriot of Odin's and I'm showing him deference by coming to him. He wants to discuss how many troops are garrisoned in his town."

"Will it weaken you politically to give him what he asks for?" Leaning forward, the thought of participating in a political errand, even a small one, intrigued her her enough to pay close attention.

"It might. I could be seen as cow-towing to Odin's cronies, but in some circles it will do me more good than ill."

"So you'll listen to him and agree?"

"Seems the most expedient thing to do. And he really isn't asking for anything I can't give. An extra fifty soldiers is all he wants."

"Sounds like it will be a productive visit then."

"And he'll start spreading the word of my infatuation with you. It will lay the foundation for the old guard to accept your ascension." He seemed pleased at the thought.

"It's odd to think of myself as queen."

"You just aren't accustomed to it. I'm quite looking forward to watching you rise to the challenge of the position."

She snorted derisively. "I'm sure I'll offer you endless amusement."

"I'll have none of that," he snapped. "You are a consummately resourceful person and I don't want you being defeatist before I'm ever able to slip the crown onto your head. I happen to think you'll be an incredibly capable ruler and likely able to win over people in ways I'll never manage."

The confidence he felt in her abilities was heartening in a way she didn’t expect. His opinion meant a great deal to her. She tried to let the sting of his rebuke roll off her back, because ultimately he meant well. "I... thank you, Loki. Actually, your certainty helps me tremendously."

"Husbands should be good for something other than conception, don't you think?"

"I agree." She watched the setting sun and tried to imagine what it would be like once they'd gotten away with their scheme. In the grand timeline of their lives, this portion would be just a tiny blip. It was an odd sensation to think that everything consuming her waking thoughts would eventually just fall away as they started their normal life together.

He pulled her from her contemplation with a question. "Are you worried about your father's reaction?"

"About the trip? Not really. He'll likely find something to bluster about, but I'm sure I can get him to allow it. I just hope he doesn't insist on attending to chaperone me."

"I'd find some kind of _creative_ way to keep him here if he tried."

"It can't involve murder, Loki," she laughed at the thought of how he might repay her father's impudence.

"This whole scheme of ours would be infinitely easier if he were to meet an untimely death." A large part of her knew he was joking, but something in his eyes hinted that the offer was on the table if she deemed it necessary.

"I don't want anyone saying you took advantage of a poor woman who'd just lost her father. You'd end up looking even more wicked than ever."

"You think me wicked, little elf?"

"No. I think you've done terrible things, but I also see remorse in you. And I see the good you're trying to do as king and for me that outweighs the mistakes you've made."

"You're very generous in your estimation of me."

"If you're to prevent me from devaluing myself, then it's only right I do the same."

Although his jaw clenched, he gave her a small inclination of his head. Something told her he hadn’t had a supportive voice in his life in quite a while. They’d both have to get used to having someone to rely on, someone to bolster them when doubt started to creep in.

"Can I ask you something personal, Erna?"

"Gods, it must be an awful question if you want to ask permission for it first. But go ahead."

"Why is it you haven't snagged an empty-headed bachelor lord of your own and married by now?" He felt the need to amend the question and rushed on before she could reply. "Not that I'm not grateful you haven't, but it just seems your life would be easier if you'd have done that already."

"Is it stubborn of me that I didn't want to settle for that?" She knew what her step-mother would say if the same question was posed to her. "It's not that I was stupidly waiting for some grand romance, but in the long run being saddled with an idiot husband wouldn't be a boon."

"So it was a matter of intelligence?"

"Not completely. Temperament is a huge factor. I've met plenty of eligible noblemen with a brain, but they were incompatible in other ways." He considered her words, but she wanted information as well. "I could ask the same of you."

"It's much the same answer. I've found precious few people I'd be willing to share a meal with, let alone progeny. I didn’t want a brood mare.”

He looked away, fingering a piece of needlework she had laying on the side table. They lapsed into a charged silence, each aware that they’d shared additional pieces of themselves with one another. It struck her that the experience wasn’t unpleasant exactly, as much as it was taxing. These talks tended to leave her mentally weary in a way that normal conversation didn’t. Inwardly, she wondered if he felt the same.

“Would you mind if I supped with you tonight?”

“I…” The question had startled her. “No, but I’m not sure how that would work. We can’t let the servants know you’re here.”

“I can conceal myself while anyone else is in the room. You _were_ planning to take dinner in your room, were you not?”

“I was. I’d honestly be glad of your company, Loki. But would I be keeping you from anything more important?”

“Nothing of any consequence. I’d much rather continue our talk.”

“Right.” She stood and walked over to the door adjoining the servants’ room. By the time she turned back to signal her intentions, he’d disappeared completely. Fruitlessly, her eyes scanned the room, unable to see even a shimmer of movement that may signal his position. “Well that’s unnerving,” she declared to the seemingly empty room.

“Call for the food, little elf. I’m starved.” Despite herself, she jumped when his reply came from directly behind her.

“Behave,” she admonished him as she knocked on the heavy wooden door.

“Never,” he crooned, lips very close to her ear.

He’d evidently gotten into a playful mood. This promised to be an interesting meal, she mused, trying to keep a straight face as one of her handmaidens entered the room.


	8. Chapter 8

"The king has begun to court my daughter and he doesn't even have the decency to speak to me first!" Reynard was already in a rage, likely fueled by wine. She saw evidence of that in the fresh stains on his robes.

"He's not courting me, father. We talk occasionally, that's all."

"You've talked several times. Trust me, he's courting you, Erna. You're just too dazzled by attention from the king to notice."

It took every ounce of self-control not to roll her eyes at his assessment of her situational perception. "Father," she kept her tone as patient as possible, "he can't possibly court me without speaking to me some. How would he even know if moving further is something he wanted?"

"In the last weeks there have been three dinners, six walks, and now he wants to take you on a state visit! That's more than just getting to know you!" Only he would think a handful of public talks, for that's all Reynard knew of, was enough to constitute proposing marriage.

"It's not a state visit. It is a jaunt to a nearby village that is probably just an excuse for a hunting trip. I will be one of dozens of courtiers present."

"But he asked you to come, you _specifically_. And just a few weeks ago he refused to come to dinner when you took yours in your chambers."

"Father, I'm sure if his intentions change, he'll speak to you immediately."

"What makes you so sure? Has he mentioned anything to you that you haven't told me?" The eagerness in his tone turned her stomach.

"Of course not, father. You know everything." If he only knew the real situation, she thought, smiling inwardly. Stupid lout.

"I'd better. I'll grant my permission for this trip of yours, but if he continues much longer I'll be forced to _demand_ a meeting with him. He may well be the king, but I'm your father." No talk of her own wishes. This just emphasized how she'd made the right choice to partner with Loki.

As much as it galled her, she kissed his cheek and smiled benignly up at him. "Thank you, father!" He probably only saw the infatuated maid she wanted him to see.

**-XXX-**

When Loki joined her for a glass of mead that night, she wasted no time in filling him in on the conversation with her father.

"He's going to do something stupid if you don't officially declare your intentions soon."

"Something more idiotic than assume you're just a pretty face?"

She ignored the flush brought about by his words and continued. "Decidedly so. You're going to have to meet with him after the trip."

He sighed heavily and sunk down beside her on the couch. "Fine. I suppose I can't avoid it any longer."

"We can send him home as soon as the wedding's over, Loki. He can't bother us for much longer."

"Providing you don't kill him before then." He took her hand and brushed his lips across her palm. "It must be maddening for you to get interrogated every time we're seen together."

"You know there's no one here to see us, Loki. You don't have to put on a show now."

"I'll have you know I wanted to do that." He slunk down in his seat, sullen set to his face. Suddenly he looked much younger, like a boy playing the part of a king in a mummer’s show. But she spotted hurt in his expression as well and mentally castigated herself for speaking so rashly.

"I didn't mean to be rude, Loki. I'm sorry." She scooted closer and laid her head on his shoulder. "Sometimes I can't tell what's real and what's for show."

"I do genuinely care for you, Erna. And if I'm completely honest, I've given the physical aspect of our relationship quite a lot of thought lately."

"Have you?" It wasn't surprising. Spending time in such close proximity, they were both constantly aware that it had to happen eventually if children were to be conceived.

"Yes. I'm a man like any other. But I know that will come in due time." His arm came around her shoulder and brought her close. "Does this bother you, little elf? Would you prefer I keep my hands to myself until we're wed?"

"I don't mind," she said softly. Being held felt better than it probably should. She'd likely thought of bedding him more often than he did, but she didn't divulge that secret.

"Good." The reply was equally soft and he said nothing further for several minutes.

By the time he spoke again, she'd relaxed in her seat, more comfortable with his proximity. "I don't want our first true kiss to be in front of strangers," he declared.

"Nor do I." Neither wanted to count the chaste peck he'd given her after their talk about her mother.

"Should we remedy that now?"

"Is it awkward that we're deciding this calmly and rationally?"

"Calm and rational though I may appear, I'd rather like to kiss you breathless right now. I'm just willing to obtain your consent first."

"Oh." Without conscious thought, her eyes darted to his crotch and she thought she spied a healthy erection beneath the layers of leather and fabric. "Well by all means, sire. Consent given."

He pulled her roughly into his lap. She moved so quick, she wasn't sure if magic was involved or not. But logistics flew out of her mind as soon as his lips crushed against hers.

Eagerly, she parted her lips for him and enjoyed his tongue darting around her mouth. The king was a skilled kisser and clearly used to taking charge. She let him.

Before she'd realized it, she moved to straddle his hips and offer him more direct access. As his hands went to her waist, hers buried themselves in his thick, black hair. She pushed back hungrily against his mouth, emboldened when he moaned at the change of positions.

The new position also offered her a slight height advantage she wasn't used to. She enjoyed being taller than him for once, even if it was only by a small margin.

She began to buck her hips without thought and stopped herself as soon as she realized what she was doing.

He pulled away and growled into her ear. "Take what you want, little one."

That was all the encouragement she needed and she began to rut against him again. Although still clothed, the fabric bunching between them offered her a decent amount of friction. She found his lips again and rode him harder, hoping she was offering him some pleasure in return.

It was only the work of a few minutes before she was embarrassingly close. She stopped their kiss, but stayed close, pressing her slick forehead against his. "Loki, I'm close, are you..."

"Yes, little one. Whatever you need, don't stop."

Moments later she felt herself begin to fall, but kept up her pace as the pleasure coursed through her. And while she didn't feel it, she knew he'd found his own climax when he let out a low, guttural moan.

They stilled and she collapsed against him, burying her face in his neck. She felt his strong arms encircle her and managed to press her lips to the side of his neck before giving into her fatigue. It was only minutes before she was asleep.

**-XXX-**

The next morning, she awoke in a state of confusion. The last she'd remembered, she was with Loki after they... after they'd behaved like a pair of randy teenagers too impatient to remove their clothes. She felt no shame though. They'd each found release and no harm was done. It was bound to happen eventually.

She sat up and noticed that the sun was just rising, too early for even her maids to be up. She would have at least a few minutes of solitude before the day began.

Donning her dressing gown, she felt something in the pocket and drew out a sealed note. She cracked open the now familiar gold seal and read the contents.

 

> _Erna,_
> 
> _You were clearly in need of rest after our activities last night. I must admit how surprisingly gratifying I found your attentions. I learn more about you every day._
> 
> _I hope you don't mind that I put you to bed without waking you. You were clearly exhausted. We set off for Holmsa tomorrow and you'll need your energy for a full day in the saddle. Join me for breakfast if you're up to it._
> 
> _L_

The smile that crept across her face was both amused and chagrined. He'd taken a risk leaving this where her maids might have found it before her. But it didn't surprise her. Still, it pained her a bit to burn it for safety's sake before she roused her handmaidens and began her morning ablutions.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has commented. It really does mean so much to hear that people are enjoying this story. <3

While everyone was told to be ready to depart Asgard at dawn, it was hours later by the time the group left the city’s gates. Erna’s colt nickered and stamped impatiently as she waited for those in front of her to begin moving. She hadn’t even spotted Loki yet, but knew he was conducting meetings in transit near the front of the procession. Nervous excitement bloomed in her chest as they left the city, and more importantly her father, behind.

A single rider making good time could easily reach Holmsa before the sun set, but their party had no hope of such expediency. As the afternoon light waned, they stopped about five miles outside of the village and began making camp. Erna’s small contingent of servants set to work pitching her tent, laying out her things, and readying the campfire.

Travel without her father was much more enjoyable, she’d realized. He was a man that felt the need to fill up silence with endless chatter and she’d enjoyed the quiet today. She was able to converse with some of the other courtiers in their traveling party, but if she wanted silence all she had to do was move her horse into a gap between groups. Idly, she wondered what other trips they’d take once they were married. All the realm’s politics couldn’t be handled from within the confines of the palace.

Sentries and patrols were set as soon as the group made camp, so she wasn’t able to stray far from her campsite and explore. But her legs ached from being in stirrups all day and she longed to move around. She decided to stroll to a nearby lake, being sure to keep the main camp well within sight.

The light from the fading sun turned the surface of the water a burnished copper color. She admired the pretty picture as she walked along. The scenery stole her concentration so completely that she didn’t notice Loki slip into step beside her until he spoke.

“Enjoy today’s ride, my lady?”

“I did, your majesty.” They were technically in public, so she was sure to use his title, lest someone overhear them. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t spend any time with you during the ride, but my schedule doesn’t stop even for travel.”

“I understand completely.”

They walked a few more paces before Loki ran a finger down her bare arm. “Are you _sparkling_ , Erna?”

“Yes, your grace. It’s what my skin looks like in direct sunlight.” He watched the tiny flecks of gold catch snatches of light as they walked. “I suppose you’ve never seen it before, because we’ve always met within the palace walls.”

“It’s quite lovely.”

“Thank you, your majesty.” It was odd having him praise a physical feature of hers. Not altogether unpleasant, if she was being honest with herself, just odd.

“Natural light becomes a light elf,” he mused. “I should have known. Does it bother you to stay cloistered in the palace so much?”

“Some, but as you’re always telling me, I’ll have much more freedom when…” she caught herself before she spoke too openly. He merely laughed at the slip while she darted a furtive glance at one of his nearby bodyguards. She changed tack, lest she continue  and make another such mistake. “Tell me, your majesty, are you ever able to leave the palace without this… this…”

“Circus?”

“Yes that’s an apt word for it. _Can_ you leave the circus behind?”

“Everything you see is what’s _expected_ of me. I’m expected to have guards around me constantly, despite the fact that I’ve fought against whole armies on my own and come out unscathed. I’m expected to keep members of the court with me to conduct the business of the realm, and yet I’m the sole ruler. All of this is for their show more than my necessity. But if I ever truly wish solitude, then I take it. My magic does offer a level of freedom unknown to most, so I can even take a jaunt with nobody the wiser.”

“I would hope at least one would be privy to such plans if your familial circumstances were to change.”

“I would hope that one would accompany me if they so desired.”

“The one might insist it becomes a semi-regular habit.”

Again he laughed and she saw that leaving the confines of the palace had a positive effect on him as well. “I cannot wait until we can speak plainly all the time.”

“Nor I, sire.”

They strolled in silence for several more minutes, Loki eventually taking her hand as they neared camp. She assumed enough people would see the gesture and spread word of it. “My lady, I regret that I wasn’t able to spend more time with you today, but even now I must attend to business.”

“Your majesty is generous with his time. Thank you for the delightful stroll.”

“Tomorrow, Lord Starolf holds a banquet in my honor. Would you care to join me at the high table, Lady Erna?”

“You do me great honor, your majesty. I would be happy to dine with you.”

He leaned in and kissed her cheek, whispering in her ear when he was close enough, “I’d visit you tonight if I could, little one, but we’re too exposed here.” When he pulled back, he used his normal voice. “Until tomorrow, my lady.”

**-XXX-**

Lord Starolf proved to be a gregarious old man, welcoming their party with a booming laugh and affable smile. From everything Loki had told her, he wasn’t a fan of the young king, opposing Thor’s abdication. But he greeted his monarch warmly when he reached the town mid-morning.

While Loki and his servants were put up in the manor house, Erna and the others were relegated to the inn or their own tents pitched in the local parade grounds. Erna was lucky enough to garner her own room at the inn and was able to ready herself for dinner in peace. Somehow Loki had something to do with it, she thought. He knew that she enjoyed her privacy and surely saw to it that she didn’t have to share with any of the other noble ladies on the trip.

The king and Starolf were already seated at the raised plank table when she entered the hall. As courtesy dictated, they both rose to greet her. Loki began the introductions. “My lord, this is Lady Erna of Alfheim. Erna, this is Lord Starolf, a longtime friend of the throne.”

“I’m pleased to meet such a distinguished lord. The tales of your battle exploits alongside the Allfather are known even as far away as Alfheim.”

Though a bit excessive, the old man beamed at the compliments. He took her hand and pressed a dry kiss to it. “An honor to meet you, Lady Erna. I’ll tell you, I have some fond memories of the light elves. Of course, when I last was in your beautiful realm you weren’t even born yet!”

“I’m glad my people made such a good impression on you!” She smiled back at his wrinkled countenance as they took their seats.

They made small talk as the food was served and Starolf seemed content to regale her with story after story of his battle conquests. He was a bit of a blowhard, but Erna sensed a genuinely good heart beneath his bluster. And for his part, Loki was well-behaved. When he did roll his eyes at some of the more fantastical elements of this story or that, he made sure only Erna saw.

After the last course was cleared away, Starolf patted her hand and apologized. “I’m sorry, my dear, but I’ve business to discuss with the king. I’m sure you understand.”

“Of course.” She began to rise, but Loki waved her back into her seat.

“Please stay, my lady.” He turned to Starolf and offered an explanation. “The lady is quite interested in the politics of the realm. She might learn something.”

“Indeed she might. That and her pretty face would make any meeting more agreeable.”

She smiled at the compliment, for although it was a bit condescending, she believed the man meant well enough.

The conversation went as Loki predicted. Starolf asked for an additional regiment of fifty soldiers and after some negotiating Loki agreed. He’d walked in knowing he’d acquiesce to the request, but couldn’t give in too easily. The trick, he’d explained to her before they left, was to let Starolf think he’d gotten the upper hand while also getting the lord owe Loki a favor. He’d likely be more agreeable to the throne in the future.

When Erna did make her excuses to retire for the night, she left the two men toasting the agreement with enormous tankards of ale. Before she was out of the hall, she heard the lord make a rather loud pronouncement, his increased volume a testament to the quality of the ale. “Your majesty, I do like her. You shouldn’t let that one slip through your fingers.”


	10. Chapter 10

He found her angrily pacing around her chamber muttering darkly to herself. So intent was she on her trek around the living area, that she didn’t notice him at first. She looked as if she’d been stopped while dressing for dinner. While her hair was swept up in its customary complicated braid, she wore only a shift and a corset with no outer gown. The ire that rolled off of her in waves was amusing coming from such a diminutive form.

By way of announcing his presence, Loki cleared his throat softly. She stopped mid-stride and let out a gasp of surprise.

“I missed you at dinner and wanted to check on you.”

“Thank you, Loki. That was very kind of you. I… I apologize for not sending word that I wouldn’t be in attendance. I assure you I’m quite fine.” She glanced around the room, likely looking for a trace of her nosy handmaidens. “I hope you took your usual precautions to ensure nobody knows we’re alone in my chambers?”

“After all our machinations together, do you doubt my ability to conceal my presence at will?” The question was rhetorical and she knew it, opting to reply only with pursed lips. He suppressed a laugh, knowing it would likely upset her further. “And you don’t look ‘quite fine,’ little elf. You look murderous. What has happened?”

“A convoy from one of the noble families of Alfheim just arrived.”

When she didn’t immediately continue, he managed to make her smile with a ludicrous statement. “Damn their diplomatic intentions!”

“One of their number is a former… suitor of mine, an ignorant idiot named Torald.”

“And you were so inflamed by the proximity of your former lover that you couldn’t bear to dine with him in the presence of others?” The tone may have been joking, but he did wonder why an old flame had such an effect on her.

She snorted with derision before answering. “Please. That oaf couldn’t find my cunny if he was trapped under my skirts for a week with a torch and a map!”

“Such coarse language tonight, little elf!”

“I bet you had no idea you wanted to marry such a tawdry woman.” She smiled at her own quip, but he sensed she was still upset.

“And why has the oaf’s presence offended you so?”

“I just… simply looking at him makes me angry. Makes me remember what an idiot I was to lift my skirts for such an unimaginative cad. And I would very much like to rest, but now I’m laced into this… this _contraption_ ,” she indicated the corset, “and I would have to endure my handmaiden’s inane chatter to be rid of it.”

“Might I offer up my assistance?” He surprised himself by wanting to help calm her. As much as they’d interacted over the past few weeks, she’d always kept some semblance of a facade with him. But he rather liked this honest, acerbic version of Erna that few others glimpsed beneath the gentle smiles and demure words.

She thought upon his offer for a moment before replying. “You mustn’t remove the laces completely or they’ll know someone helped me.” She pointed a finger in the direction of the servant’s quarters adjacent to her own chambers.

With a wave of a hand, she heard the lock on that and the door leading into the corridor click into place. Another flick of his wrist loosened the stays of her corset. He watched on with amusement as she wriggled out of the offending garment and tossed it vehemently into a corner. Appreciatively, he noticed that her breasts now swung free under her shift at a much more natural angle. His soon-to-be-wife _was_ comely.

“Don’t wear it if it causes you so much vexation.”

“If I stopped, I’d have to have all my gowns altered. Not to mention the fact that the whole court would assume I was with child before our wedding. It would cast a pall over our plans.”

“I hadn’t considered that.” For Loki that was high praise. To come up with something his own considerable intellect hadn’t thought of was rare. “But you’ll have all new gowns made once we are wed. Feel free to eschew the hated corset then if it’s your wish. As queen you have complete authority over your wardrobe.”

“That’s kind of you, Loki. Thank you.”

She appeared calmer, but some sense his mother always called intuition told him the issue wasn’t fully remedied. “So a reminder of a poor romantic choice coupled with an uncomfortable corset. That’s the only reason for your black mood?”

Amber eyes searched his face, deciding how best to respond. “I’m frustrated.”

“How so, little elf?”

She may not have eaten dinner, but she had called for mead to be brought to her room. It could be blamed for her loosened tongue. “Since coming to Asgard I’ve had to be the model of a perfect little lady. And it’s… I find it sometimes difficult to find _release_.”

His face registered uncharacteristic confusion, so she elaborated. “It’s not seemly for a lady to visit a brothel as a way to alleviate tension.” The double standards, more apparent here than in Alfheim, never ceased to rankle her. “And I’m finding my hand poor company of late. Torald’s presence just reminded me of it more keenly.”

Despite the deep blush coloring her cheeks, she stared at him boldly, defiantly, as if willing him to condemn her as a harlot. They stared at each other in silence, before she turned away and stalked over to the fireplace, turning her back to him. It startled her when his reply came from just inches behind her. She hadn’t even heard him move.

“Might I offer up my assistance,” he repeated.

“Loki, as flattering as that is in my current state, you know we can’t risk a pregnancy right now. The time isn’t right. I would be shunned if anyone even knew you were _here_ right now.”

“I’m well aware of our… limitations.” His hand slowly came around her waist and pulled her back against him. “Let me take care of you, Erna.” The statement surprised even himself, especially because he meant it. He genuinely wanted to make her feel better.

His large hand splayed across her stomach, gently caressing her over the thin fabric of her shift, waiting for her answer. “I…” Her breathing had accelerated and the hitch in her voice was supremely gratifying. He’d barely touched her and already the effect was glorious. “Yes,” she finally panted.

Keeping her flush against his chest, he gently pulled the knot at her neck, and slowly started loosening the ties of her slip. When he had enough clearance, he slipped one hand beneath the garment and palmed her breast. The answering moan she let out, had a direct conduit to his cock. He’d never liked his partners to keep silent and such noises always aroused him.

He made sure to keep his movements slow to start, partially to ensure she wouldn’t be spooked and partially to tease her before exploring her body further. His deft fingers found her peaked nipple and started gently pinching and rolling it, eliciting even more wanton noises from his betrothed. As he teased and fondled her, he ran his lips along her neck.

When his lips found a particular spot just below her jawline, she let out a most expressive sound of pleasure. His cock already strained against his tight breeches, but he wanted this to be all about Erna. It wasn’t like him to give so selflessly, but if anyone deserved it, it was his future queen. She was sacrificing much to ensure their plans went smoothly.

After several minutes, she finally gasped, “Please, Loki. More.”

“As the lady commands,” he whispered in her ear as he opened the lacing enough to slip the shift off of her shoulders. The thin white muslin fluttered to the ground, leaving her bare for him. Yes, his little fiancée was _quite_ comely.

His hand traced down her body as his mouth continued to explore her neck. By the time his fingers found the thatch of golden red hair at her groin, she was arching into his touch. The wet heat he found when his thin fingers probed her core surprised him. In such a short time she was so _ready_. Her words about using her own hand for such activities came back to him and he pictured her sprawled out on her bed pleasuring herself. It was a heady thought.

Feeling how slick she already was, he brought his other hand down to her sex. Two fingers of his left hand dipped into her while his right hand stayed busy with her already swollen clit. She writhed against his body and he found the contrast between her naked form and his own fully-clothed one to be quite pleasing.

“Faster, _please_ ,” she panted. So Erna didn’t always want delicate treatment, he mused as he filed the knowledge away for future reference.

Rather than reply with words, he quickened his pace, pumping three fingers in and out of her in time with the rapid circles he was rubbing on her clit. Little affirmations of pleasure such as _yes_ , _please_ , and _Loki_ left her slackened mouth as her head lolled against his chest. “I’m about to… kiss me, please.”

He met her upturned mouth with his own, never ceasing the movements with his hands. Almost immediately, she moaned into his mouth and he felt her clamp down on his fingers as the orgasm took her. When she started to pull away, he held her fast. “We can do better than just one, my lady.”

She relaxed back into him with a contented sigh. He’d continued stroking her clit long past her orgasm, but at a much softer pace and pressure, knowing she was likely sensitive. His other hand, already soaked with evidence of her arousal, continued to alternate between gently tracing along her folds and dipping into her shallowly.

It took longer than the first time, but eventually she begged for a quicker pace and he was happy to oblige. He was able to coax two more orgasms out of her in this manner. After the third, she turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a deep kiss. No, she was no inexperienced maid and it showed in the skill with which she kissed him.

When they pulled apart, she giggled and laid her head against his chest. “I’m flattered the king gave me such personal _attention_.”

“Only for my little queen.”

“I’m not your queen yet, Loki.”

“A fact we will soon remedy.” He noticed how slack her body had begun to feel and her lids were already drooping. Lifting her up in his arms, he carried her to the bed. It was only the work of moments to stow her beneath the covers and tuck them back around her. “Sleep now, little Erna.”

Her hand shot out from beneath the coverlet and seized his wrist before he could move away. “Please stay with me.”

It was likely courting disaster, but he remembered the locks on both doors and knew he could slip out unseen in the morning. Something about her pleading face, eyes already heavy with sleep, which made the decision for him. “As you wish,” he replied.

With the benefit of his magic, he was down to his undertunic and leggings quickly. Without his leather jerkin and cloak to conceal it, she noticed his erection straining against the soft fabric and exclaimed with surprise. “Loki, if you need me to-”

He shushed her with a smile. “I’m fine, little one. Contrary to what louts like Torald may have told you, it’s a condition that will go away on its own with me no worse for it.” He climbed into bed beside her and lay on his back. “Tonight was about making _you_ feel better.”

Sliding over, she curled next to him and laid her head on his chest. It was a new experience for him. He’d never shared a bed in this manner, preferring to bed partners for his satisfaction and then retire to his own chambers. This, however, was not an unwelcome feeling. “Thank you.” She placed a soft kiss on his cheek before returning to her position. “You made me feel better three times, your majesty. The king has magic fingers.”

“The king has all sorts of magic that you’ll be acquainted with once we’re man and wife.”

“It’ll be a fine marriage all around then,” she laughed.

“Yes, Erna, I think it will.”


	11. Chapter 11

_His Royal Majesty, King Loki Odinson_

_Requests the presence of Reynard Skamkelson and Erna Reynarddottir_

_for a private dinner in the royal apartments_

 

The invitation alone had sent her father into an emotional tailspin. He seemed more upset than anything, not the reaction she'd expected. He went on and on about how rude it was to send such a request on short notice and complained about his lack of preparation time.

Erna didn't understand it. He had to know what subject Loki wanted to discuss, but she couldn't figure out why he wasn't overjoyed at the prospect. She figured it must have been that Reynard hadn't proposed the match himself, and was therefore sullen about the whole business. It was the only explanation she could come up with that made any kind of sense.

Nevertheless, he usually knew when to behave and was all smiles as the king greeted them that night. They'd been escorted to a private dining room Erna had never seen before. Splendidly appointed, the wooden table was set for three with Loki at the head. The plates were made of solid gold and the fluted glasses looked to be spun from some kind of delicate crystal. The whole table seemed to glitter waiting for them.

After greeting her father, Loki bowed low over her hand and kissed it, earning a surprised grunt from Reynard. Just then, she had to fight not to dissolve into a fit of laughter. The absurdity of his disapproval over such a trivial thing was suddenly the height of hilarity.

Loki kept the conversation on bland topics such as the weather throughout the actual meal and Erna was happy to see her father follow his lead. They were in control of this, not her father, she reminded herself over and over. Seated to Loki's right, she saw how often the king clenched the fist at his side when Reynard said something particularly inane. They both deserved medals at the end of the meal.

When they retired to an adjoining seating area for a post-meal port, Erna gave Loki a covert nod. This was the signal that Reynard had reached the sweet spot of drunkenness. He wasn't so far gone as to forget his manners, but the wine was making him more agreeable than he would be sober. Now was the time.

"Lord Reynard, I'm sure you've seen how fond I am of your daughter."

"I have indeed." The pronouncement made it sound like he was some wise old seer, blessed with a sight others only dreamed of. It was so haughty she could only clench her jaw and stay quiet.

"And you know what a charming woman she is."

"Yes, she's... quite something." Erna saw anger flash across Loki's face at her father's words. Reynard didn't know the king's expressions as well as she did and didn't pick up on the change, but she saw it clearly.

"I find her utterly enchanting." Loki's tone was almost belligerent now, as if willing Reynard to disagree. He looked like he was spoiling for a fight.

"That's..." He seemed to have realized the king was displeased with his response and struggled to regain his favor. "That's wonderful to hear, sire. She's a fine woman."

"Indeed." He sat back, spread his legs wide, and draped his arms across the chair's armrests. Loki made even a lounge chair look like a throne. She felt an unexpected swell of pride just looking at him. The reminder of his stature and power wasn't lost on Reynard either.

"I've called you here tonight to negotiate with you for Erna's hand." She noticed he was very careful with his words and didn't ask for Reynard's approval or blessing. He spoke as if the outcome was a foregone conclusion and that only the details needed to be worked out.

Erna couldn't help but hold her breath waiting for her father's reply. They thought he'd eventually acquiesce, but he could be unpredictable. Everything hinged on their manipulation of him, but he had to remain oblivious to their machinations.

What came out of his mouth next was wholly unexpected. "Is she pregnant?"

"Excuse me?" Loki's tone was icy, his eyes dark with menace.

"If she's pregnant it can easily be dealt with. There's no need-" His words were cut short by the king, who moved across the space in a blur. Before Erna had a second to process what was happening, Loki had Reynard in the air. He held him fast by his great bull neck, only letting the big man's feet graze the floor as he hung. Erna was struck dumb watching the scene unfold.

The king looked apologetically at Erna. "I'm sorry you have to see this, little elf, but I couldn't let that stand." He then directed his attention back to Reynard. "Two things you must know about me, elf. One, is that I have no patience for those who do not show proper respect. And you were _extremely_ disrespectful to Lady Erna just now. And two, is that once I've set my mind to something, I will not be deterred. Understand?"

Reynard could only burble and grunt in reply, as Loki kept the grip on his throat. "I was going to go about this traditionally, I truly was, but you clearly don't deserve the courtesies. We will announce our engagement on the morrow. I will accept whatever dowry you've set aside for Erna and you will receive a generous bride-price. More generous than you deserve."

The other man gave a weak kind of nod and Loki continued. "If I ever hear you impugn the lady's honor again, I'll see fit to banish you to Hel without the courtesy of killing you first. She is to be my queen and you will treat her as such."

Loki relinquished his hold on the older man, who crumpled to the ground in a moaning heap. Reynard clutched at his throat and spluttered, but had the good sense to otherwise stay quiet.

To further communicate his message, the king leaned down and spoke with a cold fury that Erna had only heard about. “Keep in mind, old man, that I have ears everywhere. If you so much as _whisper_ something distasteful about your daughter I will know about it.”

**-XXX-**

Later that night Erna waited for Loki to appear at her door. She was beset with a range of emotions and paced restlessly, anxiously glancing at the door when the smallest sound reached her ears.

When they'd left the king's chambers, Reynard stalked off on his own without so much as a glance at her. She'd made it back to her own room and readied for bed as if it was any other night. But she'd just gone through the motions, simply nodding and smiling as her maids chattered excitedly away.

Nothing had prepared her for what her father had said, and she never would have expected Loki's reaction to Reynard's crass words. She was so confused over what her father had begun to say. It was almost as if he didn't want Erna to marry the king. It simply didn't make any sense. She tried in vain to push aside the feelings of guilt and shame, but couldn’t shake them.

By the time Loki joined her, she was no closer to understanding the situation, but those thoughts flew away at the sight of him. She barely let the door close behind him before pulling him into an urgent embrace.

“You’re shaking, little one.” His arms closed tight around her and she buried her face in his chest. For reasons known only to the king, he’d left off his armor and leather and now wore a simple tunic and breeches. To her, he seemed more solid than ever though.

“I’m sorry, Loki,” she whispered.

“I should be the one asking for forgiveness, little elf. I let my temper get the best of me. If I would have known he’d say such horrible things, I’d have met with him on my own. How can I make my abominable behavior up to you?”

“But you were brilliant.” She looked up into his pained face in confusion. “Nobody’s ever… I’ve never seen anyone stand up to him like that on my behalf.”

“You’re not upset?”

“Not about _your_ actions.” His presence did calm her some, but the rage and humiliation she’d originally felt was still there. Loki just wasn’t the cause of it.

“I had no idea he’d react like that or I would have planned this whole thing differently. You don’t deserve to have someone like that upset you so, little one.”

“I don’t know why I’m surprised, he’s been upsetting me my whole life.”

“But to speak of you as if you were a sordid problem to be solved, that is unacceptable. If you wish, I can have him placed under house arrest until the wedding.”

The offer earned a small smile from her. “That’s tempting, but I’d like everyone to think he’s in favor of the match. If it was known how he reacted, it might hurt us.”

“How very even-tempered of you to think of strategy above your personal feelings. But if you should change your mind, do let me know.” The gleam in his eyes told her he’d take great pleasure punishing Reynard if she’d allow it. It was a strangely comforting feeling.

Taking care not to meet his eyes, she asked a favor of him. “I don’t want to be alone. Will you stay with me tonight?”

“If that is your wish, Erna.”

“It is. Thank you.”

"Get settled in bed and I'll be back in a moment."

Expecting to see him slip into the adjoining bathroom, instead he surprised her by exiting into the corridor. It was several minutes before he returned with a small glass vial in his hand.

"Take this, little elf." He removed the stopper and offered her the bottle.

"What is it?"

"A sleeping potion. It will give you a dreamless night. You deserve an uninterrupted rest. We have a big day tomorrow."

"That's very thoughtful of you, Loki."

"I know how trying it can be to have... _issues_ with your father."

She drank the sour liquid in one gulp and watched him climb into bed beside her. The edges of her consciousness started to feel fuzzy as she settled into a comfortable position. "You're not at all like people think you are," she declared dreamily.

"And how is that, little one?"

"Hearing people talk, you'd just as soon trod on me as step out of the way. But you're not like that at all."

"Not to you."

"Why let people think that of you?"

"A bit of fear is healthy. If someone deserves to know me better, then I'll allow it."

"I'm glad I'm allowed." She giggled, as the thought was suddenly funnier than it ought to have been.

"Someone needs to sleep."

She didn't seem to hear him, instead continuing her train of thought. "I'm glad you picked me. I really like you, Loki."

"I'm rather glad I did too, but I shall have to silence you in an unpleasant way if you don't stop fighting the potion and go to sleep."

"Oooooh we have to discuss that later. I quite like that idea actually."

It took him a moment to process her words, but before he could ask for additional clarification, he heard her begin to snore gently. She had one hand clutching the neck of his undertunic and she looked too peaceful to bother removing it. Something told him she needed an anchor to hold onto and he wouldn't begrudge her.

He tried and failed to press away thoughts of tonight's encounter. Just remembering Reynard's words left him simmering with hatred. But even more vexing was that he hadn't anticipated such a reply. It was bad enough Reynard assumed Loki was only marrying Erna because of an illegitimate pregnancy, but her father also seemed willing to get the king out of it.

The lord's response to the situation as he perceived it was beyond troubling. Loki and Erna both assumed the power-hungry idiot would be only too happy to deliver her to the king's marriage bed. But tonight he'd seemed against the idea.

Erna was right in her assessment of the king. He did like to have the data at his disposal before making a decision and he now had the niggling sensation some major piece of information was eluding him. It was one of many disconcerting takeaways from tonight's meeting.

His mind didn't truly calm enough for sleep until he focused on what was to come. Tomorrow they would announce the engagement and as soon as preparations could be made, they would be wed. The rest would certainly sort itself out.


	12. Chapter 12

The week after the announcement went smoothly. He was finally able to put Erna in contact with the social affairs group that handled state occasions and the public preparations had begun. She'd have control over many of the details, but they would ensure all the finicky state protocols and traditions were observed. The ceremony had to be just so and they would see to it.

But one afternoon when she sent him an urgent note requesting he come see her immediately, Loki knew something must be terribly wrong. It wasn't like Erna to make unwarranted demands.

When he rushed to her a few minutes later, he found her crying in her chambers. Immediately, he sat on the sofa and drew her into his lap. "What has upset you, little one?"

"My-my-my," she struggled to begin between sobs. "My father won't allow the children to come to the wedding!"

This was a low blow, even for Reynard. On days like this he regretted not having the wretch killed. Anyone that continually upset Erna so much certainly deserved to die.

"Calm down. Start from the beginning. How did you find out and what did he say?"

"He summoned me after my appointment with the dressmakers this afternoon." She took a great breath and composed herself. Having Loki's reassuring form beside her helped tremendously. "He told me that although he had to give me up to that 'brute of a king' he wouldn't expose his other children to such a man."

"Erna, I'm so sorry. This is ultimately my fault. I'd hoped my display last week would have sufficiently cowed him, but he seems intent to take petty revenge where he can."

"This," she hissed, venom dripping from her words, "is _his_ fault. _He's_ decided to make me suffer. He knows how much I love them, and they me, and he wants to hurt me."

"I wish I could force him to send for them."

"Can't you?" Hope shined in her wet eyes and it pained him to dash it.

"I'm afraid not, little one. Not without creating a political incident with Alfheim. Such things have been known to cause wars. I can't order citizens of another sovereign nation, an ally no less, to appear in Asgard. It would be political suicide." He brushed a stray tear from her cheek. "I'm sorry that in this I am powerless."

"I hate him, Loki." The vehemence in his words surprised even him. "He's always been vain and stupid, but lately he's been downright cruel."

"I take it he has a public reason for not sending for the rest of the family."

"He's telling people they're all ill with a rare fever. He's even going as far as stopping the last few letters I've sent to the children. They probably know nothing of what's happening here."

"I know I can't provide what you truly want, but you have but to ask and I'll grant you anything else. I'll soothe you with whatever you need."

"Make me forget it all, Loki, if only for a little while."

“I can fetch you a potion.”

“I don’t want a potion.” She looked into his eyes and held his gaze for several moments before pulling him down into a crushing kiss.

Pulling away from her, he looked down into her eyes. The pleading urgency he saw there belied how truly hurt she was over this. He would find a way to make Reynard pay for his actions, even if she wouldn’t let him throttle the cur. But now he would do what he could to comfort her.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” she answered without thinking. She _did_. At some point unknown to her, she’d moved past her provisional acceptance of his proposal to full partner in their scheme. It hadn’t even been a conscious choice, but she didn’t question the soundness of her decision.

“You know I’d never do anything to hurt you?”

“Yes.” His words had sent a thrill through her. She had no idea what he could possibly be planning that would cause him to reiterate the sentiment, but she knew she wanted to find out.

“Lie down on the bed, little one.”

She complied without another word, nervous with anticipation. She needed whatever he had planned, needed to forget the things out of her control.

Once settled in the middle of the mattress, Loki walked beside the bed and cupped the side of her face in one of his strong hands. “Know that I will take care of you, Erna. When you ask for it as you have today, or even when you don’t know what you need.” She just nodded, too overwhelmed to speak.

In an instant her clothes vanished, leaving her completely bare as he loomed above her. She knew he’d seen her naked before, but never in such a straightforward way. She watched as his eyes raked over her body, expression maddeningly neutral. While the cool appraisal should have infuriated her, it only managed to stoke her desire. There was something so beguiling about the way his eyes responded to her body.

He made a gesture with his hand and leather straps snaked out from each corner of the bed and wound themselves around her wrists and ankles. In a matter of seconds she was bound into a spread-eagle position, completely immobilized. The surprise on her face must have amused him, because he chuckled as she took in the situation.

“If you struggle these won’t harm you, but it won’t do you any good. Go ahead, try them out.” She tried to tug her limbs free, but to no avail. She was under his control whether she liked it or not.

When she stilled, he bent down and whispered in her ear. “If you want this to stop at any time, you tell me so, Erna.” She nodded again, surprised that she didn’t feel the need to make a witty comeback. He was just being too sincere not to take him seriously.

He placed a kiss on her forehead before straightening back to his full height. The last thing she saw before a length of smooth fabric wrapped itself over her eyes was a small grin on Loki’s face. “You asked to forget, so my aim is to keep you suspended in the moment. Your mind won’t be able to process anything outside of what’s happening in this room if I’m doing my job properly.”

She felt him trail a finger down the nearest arm. He kept it moving as he walked slowly around her. When he’d made the full circuit, avoiding any of the areas she willed him to stop at, he bent down again, but this time kissed her parted lips.

“You’re utterly winsome, little elf.”

She didn’t respond, electing to stay silent, but this time he didn’t accept it. “Erna, don’t think I can’t tell what you’re thinking based on your expression. You clenched your jaw and set your lips in a hard line. You disagree with my pronouncement?”

“I… I’m not statuesque as an elf should be, nor am I buxom as many maids in Asgard are.”

“I’ll not debate that, but I still find you tremendously pleasing. And to be quite honest, I like your short stature. I find it gratifying to have you tucked in beside me.”

“I… thank you, Loki.” She didn’t know what else to say. He sounded so sure, she didn’t think arguing would do any good. That and she was quickly tiring of talk. His slow procession around her had aroused her more than she thought possible and she wanted him to move on.

“And these,” he gently cupped one of her breasts, “are also quite pleasing.” His thumb grazed her nipple and she let out a moan at the contact. She felt his mouth close around the nipple and knew she’d be arching off the bed if the straps allowed it.

He pulled his mouth away after a moment and she whined at the loss. “And so very responsive. I wonder if I can make you come simply from this.”

“No one ever has, but if anyone can it would be you.”

“Are you challenging me, little one?”

“Yes.”

He didn’t say another word as he bent back to his task, this time sitting on the edge of the bed. He started off slow, softly teasing her nipple with his tongue and occasionally giving it a gentle suck. While his mouth was busy, she felt a hand begin to knead and tease her other breast. It was sweet torture, but she wanted to let him continue rather than demand more. Something told her that if she gave into his plan, it would be better for her.

Eventually he straddled her waist to easily switch his talented mouth to the other breast and he repeated the maddening process. She could feel how wet she was, but she was still a long way from an orgasm.

Either he sensed her frustration or was simply ready to accelerate his ministrations, but he started to nibble at her sensitive flesh and began to suck harder. She didn’t bother to suppress the moan of pleasure. He knew exactly what he was doing to her and there was no sense in trying to hide it.

She’d never employed a blindfold in the bedroom before, but wondered now what she’d been missing over the years. The lack of visual stimulus, far from being a hindrance, enhanced every touch and word. The bondage had a similar effect on her. Knowing she was completely at his mercy was more thrilling than she could articulate, even to herself.

It was more these thoughts than anything that tipped her over the edge a few minutes later. She half moaned, half screamed his name and even through the haze, she felt him smile against her skin. He might be a smug bastard, but he was _her_ smug bastard.

Loki only gave her a moment to recover, before speaking lasciviously in her ear again. “Any other challenges, my dear?”

“I don’t think my brain is fully functional at the moment, I leave the decision up to you. I’m completely at your mercy.”

“As if you weren’t already.”

She felt his weight leave the bed and prayed he wouldn’t leave her wanting like this simply to make a point. The orgasm she’d had was nice, but she craved more. In all actuality, she wanted him inside her more than anything, but they both knew the realities they faced. The engagement would be over soon enough. Well, it would if her father didn’t find a way to foul it all up.

“None of that, little elf. I can see I’m not living up to my promise.”

“What?” His words had shaken her out of her thoughts.

“You were dwelling on something other than your current predicament. It just won’t do. My name should be the only word knocking about in that brilliant head of yours tonight.”

Part of her wanted to be contrite and apologize, but what came out instead was another challenge. “Then do your duty, sire. Force me to pay attention.”

While she couldn’t see him, she heard the soft footfalls that signaled he was moving away from her. She worried that she’d pushed him too far, but realized that wasn’t the case seconds later. She felt a pillow materialize beneath her, supporting her hips and making her feel even more exposed, which was really saying something.

He stayed silent as he settled between her legs. And as maddening as the silence was, it excited her as well. It was taking every ounce of self control not to beg him to touch her. Luckily though, she didn’t have to wait long. She felt his breath ghost over where she needed him the most and she silently cursed the bindings that prevented her from arching into his touch.

He kept her suspended there for several moments before he lowered his mouth. He traced his tongue through her folds, only glancing across her clit, but the loud sigh she let out showed how satisfying she found it. If he followed a pattern, only he knew it, because she couldn’t predict where he’d move next. She finally let all vestiges of tension go, letting her head fall back and her body relax into the mattress. He hummed in approval and she realized it had been his goal all along. He wanted her relaxed and compliant.

After what felt like ages, he started to lavish attention on her clit. Nothing too intense, but the gentle licks began to form a pattern and she felt herself begin to climb. Desire pooled again and within minutes she broke down and begged him for release. “Loki, please let me come.”

He stopped his mouth only long enough to reply. “All in due time, little one.” She didn’t speak again for fear that he would stop again.

He brought her to the very edge before changing tack. Where his tongue started earlier, he now ran a finger through her center, but he stayed away from her aching clit. If he so much as breathed on it in her current state she would be a goner for sure and he clearly recognized it. Instead, he dipped the finger into her, spreading her arousal around and around until she thought she’d cry of frustration.

When he again bent to suckle at the little bundle of nerves, the relief she felt was palpable. She should have known better. Time lost all relevance as he took her to the edge and back another _six_ times. She started to think burning alive would be less torturous than Loki’s attentions.

Her word had narrowed to only the bit of her body in contact with his talented tongue. Everything else was utterly irrelevant. The greatest fear she could think of would be if he left her in such a state. She both needed him and cursed him in the same thought. It was beyond maddening.

By the time he finally let her come, her voice rang out across the chamber in a hoarse chant. All she said over and over again as the pleasure took her was his name. He’d done what he promised and that was the only coherent thought in her head. Loki. Loki. Loki.

It didn’t even register when he removed the blindfold and the restraints. She couldn’t have said how long it was before she noticed he was holding her safe in his arms. But it was a longer while still before she felt compelled to move even an inch. She’d never felt so utterly spent and euphoric before in her life.

“You broke my brain,” she finally managed to rasp at him.

He laughed softly and kissed her forehead. “And it was my pleasure to do so. How do you feel, little one?”

“Do I still have a body?”

That earned another laugh. “Yes, you do.”

“That was… that was… a word I can’t find right now.”

“I’ll take that as a positive.”

“Mmmhmm. Loki, you’re not going to leave me tonight, are you?”

“No, little darling, I’m not. Though it’s far from night. In fact, we could still make dinner if we wanted.” She grunted in displeasure at the suggestion and burrowed closer to him. “That would be a no then.”

They stayed entangled for several more minutes until she felt able to sit up on her own. “I want to repay you,” she finally declared.

“This isn’t about owing anyone anything, Erna. You needed me and I was happy to provide what you could use at the moment. There’s no payment owed, no reciprocity warranted.” The look he gave her wasn’t angry, but it was full of authority. He meant what he’d said.

“But you made me feel so good, Loki.” While it still wasn’t one of the adjectives she was looking for, _good_ was better than nothing. “This is twice you’ve selflessly given to me with nothing in return.”

“I don’t see it that way. I made my partner’s life better for that short amount of time. As I said, there’s nothing owed, because I did it freely and eagerly.”

“But I _want_ to!”

“And I appreciate that, but your limbs are still like lead and you’re having trouble even keeping your eyes open. It will have to be another time.”

“You don’t mind staying with me with no chance of anything for yourself?”

“Ah but I get you and that wonderfully fuzzy mind of yours, little one. It shouldn’t be a shock that I enjoy your company.”

“You keep surprising me.”

He chose not to continue that discussion, instead maneuvering her under the covers into her normal sleeping position. “I don’t want to deal with your maids, so I’ll go fetch us some supper. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Okay,” she mumbled happily, already starting to succumb to the delicious languor he left in his wake. The last thing she registered before giving in, was his satisfied smile as he left her side.


	13. Chapter 13

“My lady, may I have a private word?” Oda all but whispered the request just before they were dismissed for the night. The girl looked terrified for some reason.

Erna watched as her handmaidens gave each other a significant look and Bera bustled off to their rooms. “Oda, what is it? You look as if something terrible has happened.”

“Oh no, my lady.” The girl finally looked at her, hope shining on her pale countenance. “It’s a good thing. At least I think it is, I’m worried about your reaction though.”

“If it’s good for you then I’m sure it will be fine. Please explain.” She wanted to speak to Loki about the rapidly approaching ceremony and was worried Oda would take all night if she didn’t prod her along a bit.

“You know Sigvard and I were engaged before we left Alfheim.”

“Yes.” Gods this was like pulling teeth.

“Well he wanted to wait until his apprenticeship was completed before we set up our own home.”

“Yes, I remember something about that.”

“Well we didn’t think we’d be staying in Asgard so long and then _you_ got engaged, but now he’s graduated to journeyman and…” The girl trailed off, agony now writ across her face.

"Oh Oda, are you asking to leave my employ and return to Alfheim to marry your betrothed?”

“Yes, my lady!” She looked so relieved that Erna had understood the gist of the situation.

“I don’t know why you would be afraid of my reaction. Go be with the man you love, get married, live your life. I have no right to hold you here if you want to be elsewhere.”

“I plan to stay until my replacement arrives.”

“Replacement?” Erna had just assumed she’d take someone from the palace’s seemingly endless staff.

“Your father has already sent for another handmaiden. He said you’d rather have someone from the household than an Asgardian.” Something in Erna’s expression must have shown disapproval, because Oda’s explanation had an edge of desperate pleading to it.

She kept her tone neutral, not wishing to show her anger. Oda had surely done what she thought best by bringing the matter up with Reynard first. “That was considerate of you to see to your replacement before leaving. Thank you.”

Oda curtsied in response. “My lady, I wanted you to know that the only reason I’m leaving your service is that you’re staying here. You’ve been very kind to us over the years.”

“I appreciate that, Oda. Now unless there’s anything else…”

“No, my lady. Thank you.” The girl curtsied again and hurried out of the room. She was normally a timid one and the potential confrontation with Erna had probably been weighing upon her. At least she could rest easy now.

Erna tried to occupy herself with a book while she waited for Loki to appear, but gave up after half an hour. She was both tired and antsy, which never boded well for her concentration. Something about the business with the new handmaiden left her uneasy. But then again, anything involving her father of late left her edgy and or angry.

She did her best to put it out of her mind, but soon realized any attempts at distracting herself would be fruitless. Instead, she extinguished the lamp and climbed into bed.

Loki, she decided, must not have needed to speak to her. She’d barely been able to talk to him since their encounter the other night, and then only in public. She worried that he either regretted his actions or somehow thought less of her because of what they’d done. Based on all their conversations she didn’t _think_ that was the case, but his suddenly busy schedule was starting to give her doubts. Her mind saw fit to remind her that things that seemed too good to be true usually were.

Somehow she drifted into an uneasy sleep, but awoke immediately as a hand stole around her waist. She had no idea how early or late it was and she felt a momentary stab of panic before he spoke softly. “I didn’t want to wake you, little one. I’m sorry.”

“Is everything all right?” She started to rise, but he gently pushed her back onto the bed.

“Shhhhh. All is well. I was delayed this evening and I probably shouldn’t have come, but I haven’t seen you much these past few days.”

“Oh.” She tried to relax and calm her now racing heart. Why had she been so worried about his reply?

Something in that one syllable must have signaled him, because she knew he couldn’t see her face in the dark. Unless he had magic for that as well. “Tell me what troubles you.”

“I’m fine, Loki. I was just startled.”

“I think not. Tell me.”

“Fine.” She flopped over onto her stomach and found his outline in the dark. It was easier to admit when she couldn’t see him properly. “I just… I thought that maybe you were reconsidering our agreement.”

“What ever gave you that impression?” He pulled the covers down and ran a hand up and down her back. She could tell he was already trying to soothe her.

“I thought after that night you… that you might not… I don’t know.” Hearing the words articulated made it sound even more foolish than it had in her head, but she hadn’t been able to quell the nagging thought.

“So you assumed that when I didn’t come to see you for a few nights that I was suddenly ashamed of you?”

“I never said it was a rational thought!” She rolled over onto her side, leaving her back to him. She felt silly and embarrassed that she’d even admitted as much to him.

Instead of laughing as she’d expected, Loki moved in behind her and brushed his lips across the back of her neck. “I had no idea you’d jump to such a conclusion. If I’m ever over-scheduled like that again, I promise to let you know so that your mind doesn’t start coming up with negative reasons for my behavior.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry I assumed something like that.” Pulling his arm tighter around her, she felt calmer. He hadn’t ridiculed her or made her feel worse.

“You couldn’t help it, little one. Sometimes our brains are our own worst enemies, intent on making us feel worse for no reason. I’m no stranger to that feeling. And you’ve had a rough enough time lately to add my silence to your list of problems.”

“Speaking of problems, there’s a bit of a snag now that my sister and brother aren’t coming. Apparently it’s traditional for one of the bride’s brothers to present her husband with a ceremonial sword and I find myself brotherless. And I’ll be damned if I ask my father to do it in Eryk’s stead.”

“You can borrow mine if you like. Thor would jump at the chance to be a part of the ceremony.”

“Is he coming for the wedding?” She hadn’t been sure if Thor would rather stay on Midgard and attend to his new life instead of watching his semi-estranged brother get married.

“Yes, but that’s what I’ve been tied up for days negotiating. He’s bringing Jane for the first time since Odin died and the Midgardians want me to guarantee her safety.”

“Does Thor mistrust you?”

“No, the great oaf has an apparent endless reserve of trust, but it’s her employer, SHIELD, that is making all the demands. At first they insisted a team of agents travel with them, but Thor and I talked them away from that idea.”

“Loki, you have to understand why they’re leery of you.”

“I’ve had the bifrost at my disposal ever since I took the throne and haven’t returned to their precious realm to wreak havoc. It took them hours to concede that point.”

“Well I’m glad you were able to resolve the matter.”

“I had to swear not to use magic on Jane, but that was the worst of it. It was just utterly tedious to hear them drone on and on about precautions they were taking. As if my magic couldn’t wipe out their locators and transponders and ICER guns in a heartbeat.”

She could blame it on her fuzzy semi-conscious state, but she just blurted out the first question that came to mind. And it had nothing to do with visiting relatives or their overbearing employers. “I’ve always wondered, how does your magic work? Is it normal for a magic user to be as powerful as you are?”

“I was lucky enough to have both the natural ability and the education offered to me. Magic is a rare skill, but rarer still when it’s born to someone that has the resources to train and mature their talent.”

“So it doesn’t all just come naturally?”

“I’m naturally adept at illusions, but I had to hone that skill and I worked hard to learn conjuration and the science of potion making and a host of other skills.”

“So while Thor trained his body, you studied magic?”

“I studied as a warrior just as he did,” he snapped. “I just chose to incorporate my additional abilities into my fighting style. It’s much more nuanced than just swinging a lump of metal at the nearest foe.”

“But doesn’t Thor have magic of his own? I’ve heard stories of lightning and flying.”

“His hammer, Mjolnir, possesses those powers, not Thor himself. He simply wields the weapon. Why all these questions of my brother?”

“I’m just curious. He’s going to be my family soon. And I’m always curious to learn more about you. I didn’t mean to unduly pry.”

He sighed heavily and kissed her shoulder. “You have a right to ask questions, Erna. I’m afraid I’m just not in the proper mood for it tonight.”

“You’re weary after a long day. We should probably both sleep.”

“I’m sure rest will set me to rights. If you’re still interested in how my magic works, I have some books in my personal library that I could give you.”

“I’d love that, Loki!”

“But only if you promise to rest now. It’s terribly late and we wouldn’t want you to fall asleep over breakfast.”

“Nor you, sire.”

They settled into silence, Erna doing her best to court sleep despite all the questions now crowding around in her head. She supposed that meeting Thor had always been a possibility, but now it was a reality, and one that made her distinctly nervous. This was the last of Loki’s family and she desperately wanted to make a good impression.

And now there was Jane to contend with as well. To hear Loki tell it, she was an unpleasant shrew, but she knew that description was likely tempered with his own ill will towards the woman. Even if she was a complete bore, Erna would do her best to entertain her would-be sister and hopefully leave the woman and her employer with a more favorable view of Loki.

The prospect of gaining a better insight into Loki’s magic excited her. He’d seemed initially eager to discuss it with her, but closed off once she made any comparison between the two brothers. He clearly assumed such comparisons left him in a less enviable position than his brother. She’d have to keep that in mind in future discussions.

When she finally drifted off, it was with thoughts of magic swirling around in her head.


	14. Chapter 14

Five days before the wedding, Loki and Erna rode across the bifrost bridge to Heimdall’s observatory. It had been weeks since she’d sat astride a horse and it felt good to feel the wind on her face. The ride ended up being a race, but Loki only won by a small margin. It felt like a true victory though. She was starting to be able to sense when his magic was at work and when it wasn’t. He claimed she was becoming attuned to him, whatever that meant.

They left the contingent of guards they brought with them outside, while they entered the observatory. When she bounded up to the gatekeeper, he bent down and allowed her to kiss the part of his helmet covering his cheek. The familiar action made Loki’s eyes darken with a predatory gleam.

Heimdall ignored the glare of his king and focused on Erna. “You haven’t visited me in weeks, my lady.”

“I know,” she began with a sigh. “Wedding preparations have taken up so much of my time of late. But surely you’ve seen how busy I’ve been!”

He laughed, a rich, mellifluous sound. “I have, my lady.”

“And yet you did nothing to rescue me from Lady Gerd lecturing me for an hour on the proper seating arrangements for the wedding feast. What good is a gatekeeper if he can’t protect the future queen?”

He laughed again at her pronouncement and Loki goggled at the two of them. “I was just about to assemble the troops when you feigned a headache and saved me the trouble.”

Her serious face broke into a wide grin as she turned her attention back to her dumbstruck fiancé. She took pity on him and answered his unspoken question. “I visit Heimdall regularly. The ride out here is lovely and I enjoy trouncing him at chess.”

“I haven’t had a proper match since you visited me last.”

“Once the wedding is over, I owe you another chance to lose to me.”

“I will hold you to that, my lady.” Loki’s impatience was showing and the warrior finally took notice of his king. “The whole traveling party has not yet assembled, your majesty. I’ll transport them once they’re all present.”

“See that you do. We’re on a tight schedule.”

“Calm yourself, Loki.” She slipped her arm through his, intent on soothing his irritation. “We are free until tonight’s banquet and you know it.” If the gatekeeper was surprised to see his king addressed so informally by his betrothed, he showed no sign of it. But she did spy a brief, tiny smile on the man’s face when Loki’s attention was averted.

“I don’t understand why we couldn’t just send someone to meet them,” he grumbled, sounding like a petulant child made to do an unpleasant chore.

“They are your family, Loki! I wasn’t going to let them come without a proper greeting. I can’t have my own loved ones here, so I’ll enjoy yours.”

He coughed and tightened his grip on her arm. “Whatever you want, little elf.”

They stood in semi-congenial silence for several more minutes before Heimdall moved toward the mechanism in the center of the room. “Stand back, please,” he intoned in his deep voice.

The crackling lightning lit up Erna’s eager eyes as she took in the spectacle. Nothing Loki had told her fully prepared her for the thrum of mechanisms grinding into place beneath her feet and sheer power being harnessed in front of her. In a blaze of light, three new people were thrust into the room. Thinking herself inured to magic, Erna was surprised at how dazzling the whole thing was. Asgard continued to astound her.

When her eyes adjusted after such a bright light, she saw two figures she expected and one she didn’t. Thor (he was unmistakable) towered over the woman she assumed was his wife, holding her hand. Jane looked only slightly off balance, but the dark-haired woman behind her was swaying on her feet, clearly unused to this mode of travel.

Erna rushed over to steady the newcomer, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Whoa,” she managed. “That was intense. Asgard is hardcore.”

“Umm hi,” the other woman waved at her. “I’m Jane, I’m sure you know this is Thor, and this,” she motioned to the woman next to Erna, “is Darcy.”

“It’s so wonderful to meet all of you. I’m Erna and you know Loki.”

“I don’t,” Darcy piped in. “I’m just here because Erik didn’t wanna accept his invitation.”

“Erik? Erik Selvig?” Erna faced Loki, anger blazing in her gaze. “You invited _Erik Selvig_ to our wedding?!” She glanced back at Jane, feeling the need to amend her statement. “Not that he’s not always welcome in Asgard, but I can understand his reluctance to come anywhere near Loki.”

“Yeah, he ah… declined rather _vehemently_ ,” Jane confirmed.

“Please send him my apologies for the appallingly poor humor of my fiancé.” Loki had the good grace to look ever so slightly cowed at her words.

Darcy stepped away from Erna, looking steadier on her feet. “So you’re Loki, huh?” She walked around the king, inspecting him as if he was a horse she was hoping to buy. “Man, he has a nice ass too,” she exclaimed in Jane’s direction.

“Darcy!” The other woman looked mortified.

“I’m just being honest! So sue me for looking. I don’t get to hang out with gods as often as you do.”

Loki looked uncharacteristically confused at the exchange and Erna couldn’t help but laugh. When Thor finally spoke, she noticed a healthy blush on his cheeks as well. “Erna,” he bowed and kissed her hand. For such a large man he was surprisingly graceful. “I’m so pleased to meet the woman that has tamed my restless brother.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far.” It was her turn to blush. If they knew the real impetus behind the marriage, they wouldn’t likely be so complimentary. She cleared her throat and gently withdrew her hand. “I’m so pleased to welcome you to Asgard. I’m sure you’d like a rest before dinner. We have your rooms all ready and we’ll see to your bags as well.”

“Thank you,” said Jane with an awkward little bow. Though she may be a princess by marriage, she acted nothing like Erna expected.

“We have horses for the two of you,” she motioned to Jane and Thor. “But Lady Darcy I’m afraid you’ll need to ride with one of the guards. I apologize but I didn’t know you were coming, though I am very glad you did.”

“She called me a lady,” Darcy whispered to Jane in a voice loud enough for all of them to hear.

Speaking for the first time since the visitors arrived, Loki seemed as off-balance as she’d ever seen him. “Yes well, let’s be off then.”

The next few days promised to be very entertaining.

**-XXX-**

Once Jane and Thor were settled in their suite, Erna escorted Darcy to her chambers. All the guest rooms had already been prepared, so it was no trouble to assign a vacant one to the unexpected addition to their party.

“Thanks for letting me crash your wedding,” Darcy said when Erna showed her into her room.

“It’s no trouble. We’re happy to have you, Darcy.”

“Loki didn’t seem too happy… about _anything_.”

“Honestly, I think he’s nervous about me meeting his brother. No matter what he says, I still think he wants Thor’s approval. Now please let me know if you need anything. I’ll send a handmaiden along shortly to help you prepare for dinner.”

“Umm okay.” Erna moved to leave, but Darcy already had a request. “I uh don’t think I packed anything appropriate to wear to a god’s wedding. Can you help a girl out?”

“Of course! I’ll send a seamstress to you after the feast. We’ll have some gowns made for you while you’re here.”

Visibly relieved, Darcy sat on the edge of her bed and looked around the spacious room. “I don’t know about Thor, but _I_ like you.”

“You have no idea how pleased I am to hear that! Let me or your handmaiden know if you require anything else, Darcy. And make yourself at home.”

As she left, she heard the woman exclaiming over the size of the tub in her bathroom. It was refreshing to have someone around that didn’t seem interested in showing her the cool deference that accompanied her new position. Darcy was brash and some may call her behavior rude, but Erna took an instant liking to her.


	15. Chapter 15

Over the past few months, Loki had taken to visiting Erna’s chamber every night before bed. They used the time to discuss the day’s events and go through any plans they had for the next one. And while full intercourse was off the table, they often found themselves having their daily chat in bed after finding creative ways to pleasure one another.

After the welcome feast for the little party from Midgard, Loki seemed particularly intent to reassert his position with Erna. He didn’t even greet her after tromping into the room. Pulling her into a bruising embrace, it was all she could do to keep up with his heated kisses and roving hands.

“Loki,” she finally managed to splutter when he moved his lips to her neck. “You’re behaving like a man possessed!”

He simply growled in response and continued to suck and nip at her, clearly intent on leaving a mark. She pushed him away as gently as she could manage and took a step back. “What’s the matter with you?” He looked startled, clearly not expecting his motives to be questioned. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy it when you’re being particularly _vigorous_ , but you don’t seem yourself.”

“I just… I need you right now.” He looked almost feral, but there was a melancholia about him she hadn’t seen in months.

Stepping back over to him, she cupped the side of his face and looked searchingly into his eyes. She didn’t think he was lying to her and thought maybe _he_ didn’t fully understand why he was behaving this way. “All right,” she said simply, before pulling him into a passionate kiss.

It didn’t take long for either to find their release and they only had time to fumble clumsily with their hands, garments only half removed before it was done. He held her tightly to his chest as they panted, trying to recover from such an intense encounter. Her brain only peripherally noticed him pull away and begin to remove her clothes. He gently undid laces and pulled the layers off of her one by one, until she was bare to him.

He scooped her up and carried her to bed, his motions as calm and controlled as they were frenzied just minutes before. She didn’t speak until he’d similarly undressed and climbed into bed beside her. “Care to tell me what that was about now?”

Wrapping an arm around her, he pulled her close. “I don’t exactly know. I just felt this need to claim you.”

“Not that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy myself, but you know that wasn’t necessary. I’m marrying you in less than a week.”

“I didn’t say there was any logic to it.” He kissed her forehead tenderly and she nuzzled his neck. The time they were able to spend like this felt like a reward for successfully navigating the day and bending court politics to their will. “I can’t wait to be able to bed you properly.”

“And you said there wouldn’t be romance,” she laughed and kissed the edge of his jaw. “I feel the same though. It will be a relief to end all this sneaking around.”

“I was thinking more that I just wanted to be able to fuck you any damn way we pleased.”

“Well, there’s that too.”

His hand carded lazily through her hair and she felt more content than she’d expected so close to the wedding. She ran a finger along his arm, absentmindedly tracing any scars in her path. The fact that he’d seen battle never failed to astound her. He just didn’t seem the warrior type, not like his brother. But she knew he’d led men into battle many times. With a jolt of uneasiness, she realized he would continue to do the same as king. It was an unwelcome thought and not one she wanted to ponder that moment.

Instead, she’d attend to a practical matter. “Loki?”

“Hmmm?”

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Every time she asked, she felt like he’d spurn it as needlessly sentimental, but most of the time he agreed. On the occasions he did leave her, he refused her request gently and always with an explanation.

“That was my plan.”

“Good.” She shifted position, draping more of her body over him and felt him chuckle. “I’m glad your brother came. It will be good to have him at the ceremony.”

“Why do you say that?” There was a sharpness to his question that she should have expected.

“Because,” she sat up and looked at him, “he’s your brother and he loves you.” His expression was guarded, but based on his behavior that day, she guessed what the issue was. “Are you worried I’ll prefer him to you?”

“Of course not!” Something told her she’d been correct in her assumption, despite his vehement assertion to the contrary.

“He’s to be my brother too, Loki. I had to meet him eventually.”

“I didn’t… it’s not that-”

“Loki, I’m not blind, nor am I particularly stupid. I know there’s _history_ between you two, but I can also tell how much he loves you. And I can assure you I see him as nothing but a brother. I just wanted you to know that.”

“I… thank you.” He pulled her back down against his chest and ran a hand soothingly up and down her back. He claimed she enjoyed being petted more than a cat and he was probably right.

Her curiosity also rivaled that of any feline and she felt if she could ask anyone without offending them, then it would be Loki. He usually shared her inquisitive nature, always striving to understand the full scope of any situation. “Loki, do you know why Thor and Jane haven’t had children yet? They were wed years ago.”

“I’d advise you not to bring it up with them, little elf. It’s a sore subject.”

She half-heartedly swatted at his chest. “I’m not a simpleton, Loki! That’s why I’m asking _you_. I would never be so crass with them.”

“I don’t know or _want_ to know all the details, but it’s not that they don’t want a brood of their own. The healers aren’t sure how Jane’s body would handle carrying Asgardian progeny. There’s enough of a possibility that she wouldn’t survive to make the decision a difficult one. Historically we’ve had about a fifty-fifty chance with Midgardians.”

“How awful for them,” she sighed unconsciously pulling closer to her betrothed, knowing there was nothing she could do to help and hating the fact.

“We should rest now, little elf. Tomorrow promises to be lengthy and tiresome.” He extinguished the nearby lamp with a lazy wave of his hand, the last sight she saw before darkness descended.

“Good night, my king,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to his chest.


	16. Chapter 16

The next day, Erna decided to show Jane and Darcy around the palace. Although Jane had visited before, she accepted the offered tour with a kind smile. Erna got the distinct impression that Jane felt sorry for her having to marry Loki. Well, it likely wouldn't be the last time someone would assume she was getting the raw end of the deal. They could think what they liked.

Ahead of time, Erna had made sure one of the medical suites was unoccupied so Jane could examine the equipment at her leisure. Most of the exclamations the scientist kept spouting meant little to Erna, but she was glad to see her future sister-in-law so happy. Darcy, on the other hand, looked like a parent indulging their child's interests with a feigned smile.

"I'm sorry, Darcy. I thought this would interest you as well. Are you not Jane's research partner?"

"I was her intern, but now we're just friends." Erna's blank look must have led Darcy to elaborate. "I helped her to get school credit. But I finally graduated last year and now I'm working on my master's degree."

"You did end up minoring in physics at least," Jane interjected.

"Yeah, but that was just because you kept filling my head with your physics junk. I couldn't help but retain some of it." Despite the caustic words, the woman looked pleased at her accomplishment.

"Where do your interests lie, if not in _physics junk_?"

"Political science."

"Like politics?"

"Exactly! I'm trying to come up with a good thesis topic, but new ideas are hard to come by."

"Would it help if you could see an Asgardian high council meeting?"

"Are you serious?" Her excitement was almost immediately tempered with concern. "Won't that like get you in trouble with the big guy's brother?"

"Loki? No." She reassuringly patted Darcy's shoulder. "I sit in on many council meetings. Legally I can't participate until I'm queen, but I've been familiarizing myself with the players and protocols. You'd have to promise to remain quiet, but we can watch from the visitor's gallery."

"I promise to shut my gob the whole time we’re there. Jane? Mind if I blow off your science field trip?"

"Huh?" The woman looked up from the soul forge panel and blinked in confusion before her thoughts caught up with her. "Oh no, I don't mind. Can I stay here and make some notes?"

Erna felt very much like a nanny at that moment, balancing the wants of two charges. "As far as I'm concerned, a princess of Asgard can do as she pleases. If anyone questions you, just act as if you have every right to be here. That always works for me."

"See, Jane? I'm already learning!”

“Have fun.” Jane was already bent back over the mechanism, muttering to herself under her breath.

“If you don’t show up to dinner tonight, I’ll send the guard to retrieve you.” All Erna received by way of acknowledgment was a curt not.

The two ladies slipped into the upper level of the council chamber, the attendant guarding the door giving Erna a silent bow of deference. The council servants were well used to her presence by now and the addition of her guest didn’t faze them in the slightest.

She chose two seats with a small table between them and waved for tea to be served. Slower than a normal tea service, the servants moved with deliberate care, specially trained not to disturb the meeting below. They even took care to pad the cups, as to muffle the telltale clink of china. Erna often thought that these silent sentinels had some of the hardest jobs in the palace.

As she promised, Darcy remained quiet, barely even touching her tea. When Erna looked over to see if the discussion of tax rates was boring her guest, she was pleased to see her rapt with attention. She’d even produced a notebook from her satchel and was taking furious notes on the proceedings. Confident that Darcy wasn’t looking for any avenue of escape, Erna directed her attention to Lord Onund’s specious argument to lower the tax on the luxury goods his family was renowned for.

They spent several hours in happy silence, watching the lords debate the merits and pratfalls of various claims. Loki chose to speak little in these types of meetings, electing to listen to everyone while keeping his innermost thoughts to himself. The luxury of being king, he’d told her, was that he made the ultimate decision, but he wanted everyone to feel they’d had their say. As this was a preliminary meeting to discuss sweeping tax code changes, the king barely spoke. He did, however, notice Erna’s presence and sent a small wink her way when everyone else’s attention was directed elsewhere. They’d likely discuss the meeting’s highlights that night.

Erna was only able to drag Darcy away when the council broke for the day. And as soon as they escaped to the corridor, she was beset with happy chatter.

“So that looked like a cabinet kind of. None of those guys are elected, right?”

“No, they are appointed by the king. Some served under his father and some were brought in when Loki took over.”

“So was everyone in there part of the same party?”

“Party? I don’t understand.”

“Ummm,” she thought a moment before elaborating. “It’s like a political faction. We have two big ones in my country that pretty much run the show. Politicians join the party they think best represents their views.”

“Just two views?” Erna was doubtful she had heard correctly. “How can everyone fit so neatly into just two boxes?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty stupid. A lot of the founders of our government didn’t believe in factions. So I take it every guy there was just coming at it from his own point of view?”

“Yes, we have no such parties in Asgard.”

“So that handful of rich white dudes makes all the decisions? Sounds about the same as Earth, actually. Our government is still a total sausage fest.”

Erna laughed loudly at Darcy’s colorful description of the stodgy council. “I rather like that. But no, those aren’t the only decision-makers. We also have a group of elected representatives that see to the interests of the citizens.”

“And what are they called?” The notebook was out again and Darcy was poised to record her response.

“The Body.”

“Simple. I kinda like it.” She scribbled quickly, stopping in her tracks. Erna found her enthusiasm disarming and endearing. If only some of the ladies at court took such an interest in politics, Erna would have more friends. “And what’s the council called?”

“The Head. The king and his ministers aren’t elected, but The Head has trouble acting without the consent of The Body, or at least that’s the way the system is designed to work.”

“So what does that make the queen?”

Erna felt a hand slide around her waist and she was pulled back against his chest as Loki replied for her. “The Heart. Our queen is meant to keep both The Body and The Head in check.” He wasn’t normally this physically demonstrative in public, but the visitors seemed to rouse strange insecurities in him, so she accepted the embrace without comment. “Did you enjoy the meeting, Darcy Lewis?”

“Uh… yes… your grace. It was interesting.”

“I’m glad to hear you thought so. I must borrow my fiancée. One of the pages can show you back to your rooms to prepare for dinner.” It was a dismissal, but a polite one… at least it was polite for Loki.

“Okay. Thanks for letting me crash your meeting. It really was great.” Darcy squeezed Erna’s hand before being escorted away, and she was sorry to see the woman go. It had been a thoroughly enjoyable day.

“You’re already quite the little hostess.”

“It was nice talking politics with someone fascinated by it, such a nice change. She’s a lovely woman.”

“You wound me, little elf. Do we not discuss the goings on of the palace on a daily basis?”

“Yes, but so far you’ve been my only respite. It’s nice to have another woman to converse with. She too thinks your council lacks female voices.”

“And right now we have to keep the council happy if you’re to ascend to the throne without incident. You know I care nothing for a counselor’s traits aside from intelligence. It makes no difference to me what’s between their legs if they’re competent. But changes must be incremental if we’re to avoid unnecessary resistance.”

She sighed and leaned back to kiss the edge of his jaw. “I know, I know. The next big step is the wedding.”

“Technically the next big step is to make it through the celebration feasts intact, but I suppose the marriage part is rather important.”

“Now what was so urgent that you had to steal me away from our guest?”

“I wanted you to myself before we have to start the feasting.”

Glad to be facing away from him, she was sure her face would show surprise and confusion. He never expressed such wants so directly, instead choosing to have at least a flimsy excuse to get them alone. She suspected he enjoyed her company more than most, but he’d never admitted as such. “Why?”

“Can’t a man want some time alone with his betrothed?” The teasing, playful Loki she liked the best was in residence today, such a contrast to the man who’d visited her the night before.

“Ah, but you’re no ordinary man, sire. You usually eschew such social conventions.”

“Well most social conventions bore me, whereas you, little one, do not. You’ve offered a myriad of interesting and pleasurable distractions since we met.” Such compliments never ceased to send a thrill of joy up her spine. By all accounts he was a hard man to please.

“Loki, I’m afraid we haven’t the time for any _pleasurable distractions_ at the moment. The feast will begin soon and as the guests of honor, we’re bound to attend.” Despite her words, she stayed in the circle of his arms, enjoying the fact that they stood in a public corridor. She hoped this type of demonstration would be commonplace once they were married and everyone ceased caring about her purity.

“What good is being king if you can’t have your own way?”

“A few more days and you’ll see more of me than you’ll probably like.”

“Hmmm.” His lips ghosted down her neck. “That remains to be seen,” he murmured against her skin.

“Come to me after everyone has retired and you can distract me all night if that is your wish.” Keeping her tone light, she continued. “But I also have a matter I wish to discuss with you.” He must have sensed something amiss, as his light kisses stopped immediately.

“What’s the matter, little elf? Has someone upset you?”

“No, it’s nothing like that. I just want to talk to you tonight before we get carried away with other pursuits.”

“We may not have time for a dalliance, but we have time to talk before the feast.” He pulled them over to a nearby bench and motioned for her to sit, face now grave. “What is on your mind, Erna?”

“Loki, we’re out in the open.” She sat and he took the seat beside her, taking her hands in his. Mischievous Loki was gone, replaced by a sterner version of himself. When he got like this she could easily see the king in him.

“No one can hear us. My guards are out of earshot per my command and they’ll keep everyone else away. Speak freely, little one.”

“I just thought of something we hadn’t discussed before, but I… I’m not sure how to…”

“Be as direct as you usually are. I always appreciate your candor.”

“I know that some lords take a mistress or visit the brothels once the excitement of the marriage bed has worn off. My father does it and thinks himself discrete, but everyone knows. And I just… the thought of you doing that makes me ill. I know this isn’t a love match, but such a thing feels like a betrayal of loyalty to me and I know I have no right to make demands of you-”

He stopped her with a small shake of his head. “You are the one person that has every right to make such demands. I have no desire to entertain myself in such a manner. You’ve earned my loyalty and as long as I can expect the same from you, this is a promise I freely make.”

“I have no wish to seek pleasurable distractions elsewhere, my king.” She smiled up at him, suddenly feeling quite shy. These types of subjects never bothered her in the past, but with an actual marriage in the works everything felt much weightier than she was used to. It suddenly struck her that the vows they made to each other in this manner were far more important than those they’d make publicly. Everything but these direct promises to one another was merely part of the show. _That_ was why it felt so significant to her.

“That was easily attended to. Are you quite sure we don’t have time to slip away for a few minutes?”

“No, your majesty, we don’t. One, we’re rarely quick and two, your brother approaches.”

Loki’s head whipped around and he glared malevolently at Thor, who took no notice of the dark glower. Instead, he spoke directly to Erna. “My lady, do you know where I might find my wife?”

“She was in the healer’s suite last time I saw her.”

“Ah, that explains why she hasn’t returned to prepare for dinner. I’ll likely have to carry her to the feast.” He grinned, obviously enamored with Jane’s proclivities.

“I see you still feel the right to disobey my orders,” Loki growled. She thought his ire unjustified, but again suspected insecurity was at the heart of his behavior. “The guards were meant to keep everyone away from us.”

“But I am not _everyone_ , brother. I’m still a prince.” He bowed low to Erna. “Apologies to you all the same, Lady Erna. I won’t bother you any further.” He nodded to Loki, eyes twinkling with humor. “Brother.”

Once Thor disappeared around the corner, Erna leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Don’t let him leave you in a black mood, Loki.”

He didn’t acknowledge her words as he stood and roughly pulled her up beside him. “Come. The sooner we get this feast underway, the sooner I can get you alone.” Despite the menace in his words, Erna felt a frisson of hot desire low in her belly. Black moods often led to intense pleasure where Loki was concerned. Part of her wished him to stay in an ill humor, at least until later, but that also felt a little cruel. She didn’t want him brooding all night.

He grabbed her hand, ready to lead her down the corridor, but she pulled him back. Standing on her toes and wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him with an aggressive fervor that surprised him. She nipped at his bottom lip before pulling away.

“What was that?” he gasped when she released him.

“A promise. I’m yours, Loki. I think sometimes you forget that.” She smoothed his hair back into place and slipped her arm in his. “Now escort your fiancée to this damnable feast so we can be done with it.”

He silently obeyed, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.


	17. Chapter 17

Erna peeked through the gap in the huge doors leading into the throne room. As this was a public event, half the city was crammed into the massive room. And she had to walk through them to meet Loki on the raised platform. She could see the king, but only just. He was a small smudge at the far side of the hall.

She stood back and took her place behind Thor and tried to wait patiently for the doors to open. Everything about this ceremony seemed tedious, as if designed to keep her anxious and irritable. For days she’d endured feast after feast and more toasts to her happiness then she could stomach. And even today wouldn’t be simple. They had to exchange ceremonial swords and consent from her family had to be given all before the vows even began.

Possibly sensing her frustration, Thor turned back and smiled at her. The sword he held in his meaty hands looked paltry compared to the great hulk of Mjolnir at his hip.

“Thank you for doing this, Thor.”

“Your brother isn’t here to carry the sword in the procession. I don’t mind filling in.” While Loki merely tolerated the pomp of such state ceremonies, Thor seemed to thrive on it. His armor glinted when the light caught it and he didn’t seem inclined to stop grinning.

“You look lovely, sister. Loki is very lucky.”

Instinctively she looked down at the emerald green gown, meant to match the king’s chosen colors. At least the deep color suited her pale coloring and coppery hair. But despite all her practice, the family bridal crown of hammered silver and gold seemed precariously perched on her head. She was terrified that it would slip off during her march up to the throne.

Thor again reassured her, as if sensing her thoughts. “It only fits you ill because it wasn’t made for you. The crown that marks you as queen will fit you perfectly. Loki has seen to that and every other detail. He’s probably worked a spell to keep this one on your head no matter how you move.”

“Every detail? He has?” He’d been concerned with the preparations as any husband would be, but she had no idea the true extent of his involvement.

“Of course. From what I’ve heard, he threatened the metalsmiths with torture, should they miscalculate the dimensions of your crown.”

“Oh. I didn’t know that.” She frowned, feeling strangely buoyant, but it mixed with guilt. She’d have to speak to him about threatening the staff on her behalf.

“He’s just nervous, Erna. Don’t judge him too harshly, he’s in love. Even a fool can see it when he looks at you.”

“Yes I… thank you.” She couldn’t explain that that the love Thor saw was only in his own romance-addled brain. He’d chosen love in his marriage and he assumed they were doing the same. It was probably best that someone so naive _hadn_ _’t_ taken the throne. “I’ll admit I’m nervous too.”

“You’ll get through it beautifully. But I can promise that you won’t remember a thing once it’s over. My wedding is a complete blur. I remember seeing Jane begin down the aisle and then it was done.”

“Then at least if I cock it up I won’t remember it.”

“That’s the spirit, sister.”

It was only a few more minutes before the grand doors swung open and the crowd turned to look upon the king’s bride. It took several minutes to make it up to the platform, but she didn’t suffer any missteps and her bridal crown stayed firmly in place. Thor then presented Loki with her family’s sword and Loki handed one to her in return.

The only strained moment occurred when Loki asked for her father’s blessing, rather than his consent. It was a subtle slight, but one Reynard noticed immediately. He paused, face turning red with unspoken anger, while Loki beamed down at him from the platform. Most of the audience was too far away to hear the actual words being said, but the courtiers and officials at the front knew exactly what Loki was doing.

After several tense breaths, Reynard swallowed his pride and answered. “I do.” This was his price for not bringing the rest of Erna’s family to Asgard for the ceremony and Loki wanted everyone to know it. The final power struggle between her father and the king was settled. And Loki had won. She’d rarely ever felt so satisfied in her life.

When they finally presented the rings, each placing the ring on their sword hilt before offering it to the other, she knew they were past the most difficult part. The sword offered a tangible consequence for breaking the vows they were about to each other and to the realm. She wanted to admire the delicate band he slipped on her finger, but thought it would have to wait until later. Even from afar, it looked intricately detailed, coiling around her finger several times. Only when she saw the glint of emerald eyes did she realize it was a snake intent on devouring its own tail. It was strangely beautiful.

Loki’s ring was much more traditional, adorned only with her family’s crest. He murmured, “thank you, little one,” as she slipped it onto his finger.

They had to endure several minutes of cheering from the crowd before they were able to take their vows. The priest and priestess presiding over the ceremony had them repeat long-winded poetic verses to one another, promising fidelity to each other and to the kingdom, enduring love, and a host of other such pledges.

After what felt like an interminable amount of time, they were officially pronounced man and wife. The crowd roared their approval as Loki bent to kiss his new queen. She felt much steadier leaving the hall, with Loki’s hand tightly grasping hers. The day was hardly over, with a long celebratory feast ahead of them, but the truly public part was over, much to her relief.

**-XXX-**

Everything had to be a damn grand entrance it seemed. They couldn’t just walk into the banquet hall. No, that wasn’t nearly dramatic enough for the Asgardians. Thresholds were for transitions and Loki was expected to carry her across it to symbolize their new union. And that made sense, but she’d already had her fill of ceremonial this and traditional that.

Loki laughed at her sour face when they had to wait until the rest of the revelers were assembled before making their entrance. “Already tired of being man and wife, little elf?”

“Does _everything_ have to be something today? I can’t even walk into a room without it meaning something?”

“You do know you just consented to becoming my queen, right? Half our lives are now ceremonies and the like.” He kept a flippant tone, but ran a hand soothingly up and down her back too. He knew full well she was still afraid of ruining the day due to a protocol issue or something just as trivial. She hadn’t been brought up living this life and it was still very new to her.

“You didn’t put that on the pamphlet when I signed up. I demand a divorce.” Despite her words, she edged closer to him, relaxing into his side.

“It’ll get easier, I promise. Particularly when I get to take that _thing_ off of your head and replace it with a proper crown. Once that’s attended to we can actually enjoy our own party.”

“My ancestors didn’t have very good taste, did they?”

“Horrid.”

“And what of my new crown? What does it look like?”

“You’ll find out in a few minutes, but I want it to be a surprise.”

Any further talk was cut short by a shout from behind the large wooden doors. That was their sign to get ready. She didn’t understand how everyone was in on the show, yet pretended that the whole thing was spontaneous. The Asgardians did love a spectacle, even if it was a planned one.

Loki swept her up in his arms, grinning all the while. He may have been disdainful of Asgardian traditions, but he seemed to be enjoying himself. She wondered if he relished the positive attention in contrast to all the negative he’d received of late. She wouldn’t begrudge him this, no matter how tedious.

When the doors swung open, Loki marched her triumphantly over the threshold and over to their seats at the high table. Even she had to smile and wave at the great whoop of sound that greeted them. Everyone seemed so happy and she decided letting her weariness show would detract from the festive atmosphere. Only a few more hours.

Several lords made introductory toasts before it was time to bestow the crown upon their new queen. When Loki stood and gave the signal, one of the pages climbed up to the dais, carrying a delicate golden circlet atop a plush black velvet cushion.

They’d discussed this part ahead of time, and Loki was adamant that she wouldn’t kneel for the coronation. Not only was it unnecessary from a practical standpoint, as Erna was so much shorter than him, he wanted to send the message that she was his equal, not a subordinate. The easy certainty in his words when he explained this deviation from tradition had given her yet more confirmation that she was making the right choice.

So she stood beside him, before the assembled nobles and dignitaries, as he smoothly removed the bridal crown from atop her head and carefully replaced it with the circlet. And while it laid flush against her skin, intricate designs danced around the band. Before he crowned her, she’d spotted several horn motifs that looked very similar to Loki’s distinctive helmet. Like the ring, she’d have to study it in private to fully appreciate it- much like Loki himself.

A great clamor erupted when their new queen was officially presented and this time Erna found her smile wasn’t forced. Gone was the awkward crown of her ancestors, replaced by something new that actually suited her. The crown itself felt like so much more when she thought about it that way and she found tears prick the corners of her eyes as she looked out upon the assemblage.

The tears never materialized though, and she was able to rein her emotions in without anyone taking notice. Nothing Loki had told her prepared her for how this felt. It wasn’t even the realization that she now held more power than almost anyone else in the room, very real power over life and death, but that they seemed perfectly willing to let her wield it. It was a responsibility she’d only understood in the abstract before that moment.

The crowd finally settled as everyone began the feasting in earnest. Once the attention wasn’t solely focused on them, Loki drew her into a hug and murmured reassurances only she could hear. “You’re doing so well, little one. I know this is a lot, but I promise that you will get used to it.”

She just nodded as they took their seats, suspecting it would be a long time before that was the case.

Barely an hour into the party, things started to get raucous. It wasn’t unexpected, for Loki had warned her about the Asgardian love of parties, but nothing could adequately prepare her for a drunken Volstagg treating the guests to tales of his own wedding night. To hear him tell it, his new wife hadn’t been able to walk for a week afterward. He kept throwing her glances and winking lewdly, likely hoping for a response. But she chose to smile kindly at him each time, unwilling to give him something further to joke about.

She was beset by what looked like an endless stream of people wishing to speak to the new queen. After hours of making polite small talk with strangers, the festivities were starting to wear on her. She’d managed to carve out some time to visit with the Midgardian visitors, but too quickly found herself pulled back to meet a new crop of lords and ladies that wanted to congratulate her.

On her way back to the table from one such group of nobles, she heard Volstagg make another suggestive comment about how a good husband left his new wife sore the next day. He hadn’t realized Erna was passing behind him and when she leaned in close and declared, “If you don’t properly excite her ahead of time there’s bound to be some chaffing. You may want to try some foreplay next time.”

The large man’s eyes went wide as he turned to see his new queen smiling sweetly at him. “Your majesty, I…”

“It’s heartening to see you take such a keen interest in my health and happiness, Volstagg. Your concern warms my soul.” Without another word, she walked back to her seat. Loki was making the rounds as well, and gave her a wide grin when she passed him. He’d probably heard the whole exchange.

During a rare quiet moment, she ventured up from her seat atop the high table, hoping to slip into an antechamber for a moment of peace. She’d assumed her new husband was too intent on his own conversations to pay her any mind, but when she passed behind him, he snagged her wrist and gently drew her toward him. Never breaking eye contact with whatever minister he was speaking to, Loki placed a kiss on her palm. She got the distinct impression she was to wait for him to finish.

Erna listened intently, feigning disinterest by fiddling with the edge of Loki’s cloak. She stood at his shoulder and kept her eyes averted. Characteristic of many of his sex, the man paid her no attention. He seemed eager to get the king to back his proposed trade agreement with Nildavellir. They spoke for a few more minutes before he took his leave, bowing deeply to both of them.

When he was far enough out of earshot, Loki pulled Erna onto his lap, a move not unnoticed by Volstagg and the others. They hooted wildly at the pair, sloshing mead all over themselves in an attempt to raise their glasses as the newlyweds. Any shame at his earlier comments was likely washed away by drink.

“And what did you think of Bersi’s proposal?” He whispered the question into her ear, as if it was a seduction rather than a political matter.

“I got the distinct impression he was lying to you.” She kept her voice low and squirmed into a more comfortable position. She felt him begin to stiffen beneath her. Show or not, he was a man after all.

“I believe he was as well, little queen.”

“To what end?”

“If I give him permission to trade with Nildavellir as he wishes, I’d guess that at least half of the weapons he imports would go to arming his own faction within Asgard. Likely trying to overthrow me when he feels the time is right.” He continued the show, nuzzling her neck and toying with her hair. She usually wore it up and he seemed oddly fascinated with the loose waves she’d worn for the ceremony.

“That cannot stand. What will you do with him?”

“I haven’t decided yet. But that is a matter for another time. You, my queen, have done admirably well tonight. You should be very proud of how gracefully you handled all the well-wishers.”

“Thank you, Loki, but I felt like I kept saying the same things over and over again.”

“I’m sure you did. But everyone wants to hear them, particularly from their rulers.” He pulled her closer. “I promise every day won’t be this overwhelming.”

“I hope not.” She breathed a sigh of relief at his words. He already knew her quite well and had quickly gotten the measure of how she felt. “I’m exhausted.”

“Then I’m duty-bound to take you to bed.” On the surface his words were kind, but looking into his eyes and seeing how large his pupils had grown, she knew he had more in mind than sleep. His promises to bed her ‘properly’ stayed in the back of her mind all day and she wasn’t the only one getting excited at the prospect. Loki had proven himself quite the ardent tension reliever and she longed to leave the day behind.

“Oh my king, I’m not sure I’m tired enough for sleep yet, but we shall do as you say.” As she spoke, she gave him the most innocent look she could muster while simultaneously grinding her bottom into his lap. It did not go unnoticed.

He stood, managing to put her on her feet in the process, and the dull roar of the feast lessened almost immediately. Everyone in the room that wasn’t too drunk took notice of the king. Almost as an afterthought, she noticed that he’d positioned her in front of him. Whether it was to hide his erection or to take the opportunity to rub it against her backside, she wasn’t sure.

“Thank you, friends,” his voice boomed across the hall. “We are so happy to share this day with you. But the time has come for the queen and I to retire.” He paused, allowing those who wished to shout lewd comments at the newlyweds. “Good night, my friends.”

With the swiftness that always surprised her, he led her from the hall. Once they left the din of the crowd behind and entered the corridor, he swept her into a fierce embrace. “We did it, Erna.”

“Yes we did.”

“Now, I think we’ve earned a reward for our efforts, don’t you?”

“Absolutely.” She moved her hands down to his bottom and gripped each cheek possessively. “I’ll defer to the king’s wise judgment as to what that reward will be.”

“We might have to try several things to find what’s most agreeable.”

“Then show me to our chambers, husband, for we shouldn’t waste any time.”


	18. Chapter 18

The king’s apartments, well _their_ apartments were spacious and beautiful, a fact that Erna only noticed the next morning. She paid none of it any mind as they rushed on, intent to reach their bedchamber without another interruption.

As soon as the chamber door closed behind them she pulled him down into a kiss. After a few moments bent over, he lifted her up to meet him and effortlessly pinned her against the wall. Her legs wrapped around his waist without another thought.

She heard him grumble something about that being better, but chose not to respond. There was a kind of reckless abandon taking over and she didn't want to stop kissing him unless absolutely necessary. They'd been so careful for months and now was the payoff.

Finally he pulled away, gasping as he met her golden eyes. "Tell me what you want, little one."

"You in me as soon as possible. I've waited long enough and right now I just need you to fuck me. Hard."

"No poetry and sweetness on our wedding night?" He arched an eyebrow at her and gave an amused smile.

"Time for that later. Now you need to fuck me against this wall and make me scream your damn name. I've been very good and patient and this is what I want."

"A woman after my own heart."

"Then why are you _still_ talking?" She demanded, digging her fingers into his hair and pulling his mouth back to hers. He didn't reply.

Before she realized what had happened, their clothes were gone, nowhere to be seen. It was far more expedient than whatever she'd been planning, so she accepted the development without comment. Loki’s magic was certainly convenient.

He still wasn't moving fast enough for her, so she whined and ground against his stomach. She saw he was already stiff, tip weeping moisture, so there was no need to prolong anything. "I'm ready, Loki, please!"

With a guttural rumble, he guided his cock so it was resting at her entrance. She tried to squirm closer, but he kept her immobilized as he sunk slowly into her. It might have been out of concern for her or it might have been a tease, but he took his time. Her head lolled back against the stone as she let out a cry of frustrated pleasure. If he didn't move soon it would kill her.

He only paused for a moment when fully seated inside her. He quickly studied her face for signs of discomfort and when he found nothing but naked desire, he began to move.

He snapped his hips back faster than she thought possible and was slamming back into her before she knew what was happening. All she could do was tighten her arms around his neck and hold on.

He set a punishing pace and it was exactly what she'd wanted. She could hear the wet squelching sound as he pounded in and out and knew she was more aroused than she'd ever been in her life. Nobody had even come yet, but she already felt the moisture dripping from her.

He took advantage of her position and ran his mouth along her neck and shoulder, finally latching onto her pulse point. He sucked what would be a sizable mark, never once faltering in his rhythm.

When he worked a hand between them to finger her clit, she came within seconds. Wave after wave of sensations overcame her as he continued moving in and out of her. With no conscious thought, she clamped her mouth over his shoulder and bit down as he coaxed every vestige of pleasure from her. As soon as her teeth made contact with his skin, she felt him reach his own climax.

He slowed, but made a half dozen more slow strokes before stilling completely. She clung to him as they waited for their breathing to slow. They were both sweaty messes, but she couldn't have picked a better way to start off the evening.

Finally, she felt him grasp her bottom and carry her over to the bed. They collapsed in a happy tangle of limbs, each smiling broadly.

"Did that meet your expectations, wife?" He still sounded breathless when he finally spoke.

"No, husband, it didn't." She let the statement hang for a beat before amending it. "It was so much better."

"Ah then we're of an accord. You managed to surprise me again though, little elf. I didn't expect such demands from you on our first true night together."

"We've had what basically amounted to elaborate foreplay for months, and you're surprised I didn't want to take it slow?" She laughed and rolled over onto her front. "I fear you've underestimated how very wanton I am."

"I won't make that mistake again." He leaned onto one elbow and trailed soft kisses down her neck and shoulder. "You're mine now, Erna," he murmured with unexpected emotion in his voice.

"I've been yours for a while now, Loki. Didn't you notice?"

"I was afraid it would all blow up somehow or that you'd..." He trailed off and when she turned to look, she saw pain on his face.

"Thought I'd what? Leave?"

"Yes. Part of me kept expecting you to reject me at every bump along the road."

"Can't get rid of me that easily." When her light tone didn't erase the pinched look, she pushed him into his back and straddled his waist. "Loki, you're quite thick sometimes. You think I don't recognize that we just _fit_ together? I'm not here because you were a last resort. You were a choice I didn't realize I had, but I'm so grateful you found me."

She saw tears swim in his eyes as she bent down and kissed him softly. She echoed his words back at him. "You're mine now, Loki."

He just nodded silently as she laid down across him, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. She felt his arms go around her and squeeze her so tight she almost lost her breath.

It always surprised her how easy it had been to feel comfortable and safe wrapped in his arms. Even when they were still getting to know each other, she was able to find comfort in his physical presence. It just felt more acute now that they really knew one another.

Loki had become her family long before they'd ever said their vows. She just hadn't admitted it to herself it until now. And judging by the raw emotion she'd seen on his face, he felt the same way.

So she let him hold her, placing the occasional kiss to his neck or chest, anywhere she could reach really. The fire had almost burned completely down before she finally spoke. "I don't know how to deal with needing someone like I need you, Loki. There are times I’ve just been compelled to seek you out, like you're the only thing that can give me solace." It was something she’d been struggling with for weeks now and it felt good to admit it to him.

"When you figure it out, tell me." He smiled and then his expression turned grave. "I know I'm not always good at articulating my feelings, but surely you saw that I didn't visit you every night out of a sense of duty. I need you too, little one."

She buried her face in his neck again, more pleased than she would have admitted at his words. Something fierce and warm surged in her chest. "I've never felt like this before. I've always had to be so self-reliant."

"As have I."

"So I think I'm going to start telling you when I feel like that.” She plucked up the courage and met his eyes again, wondering why she found some admissions so difficult. “Is that all right?"

"Of course it is. I'm trying to adjust to you, to this, to us. And I might not be good at it right away."

"You've done fine so far."

"You're my home now, Erna. I'll do everything in my power to keep you happy." And he meant it. Even if she couldn’t have seen his face, she just _knew_ his words were genuine.

She pulled up so she could look at him. "We'll be good to each other and take the rest as it comes. Okay?"

He held her face in his hands and drew her to him. Their kisses, while not as rushed and heated as before, deepened into something else. They were reassuring each other in a way they were familiar with. They knew how to give the other peace in a way that didn’t involve words. The talk had been enlightening and positive, but _this_ was what they did best.

She began to rut against him as she felt him stiffen beneath her. He moaned into her mouth as he slid back into her, never breaking their kiss.

Where it was frenzied and rushed before, now it was gentle and slow. They moved together, illustrating what she'd said before: they just fit together in a way neither had predicted. She felt the familiar tension build as he incrementally increased the pace, hands roving all over her back and sides as his hips moved beneath her.

They finally pulled their mouths apart when she arched up as her orgasm hit. He followed shortly after, hearing her call his name in ecstasy. Again, he held her in place as they waited for their skin to cool. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so content.

When she finally rolled off of him, they both winced at the severed contact. She felt around beside her until she found his hand and twined their fingers together. It would be so easy to drift off to sleep, but she didn't want to give up the night just yet. They'd only have one wedding night.

She absentmindedly went to brush a stray curl away from her face when her fingers brushed the cool metal of her crown. She’d forgotten about it. “I was wearing my crown this whole time? Why didn’t you take it off?”

“It took a lot of work to be able to put that on you, so I’m reluctant to remove it just yet. That and I found it incredibly sexy to fuck you in it.”

She hoped the blush that came across her face was either unnoticed or attributed to their recent round of sex. But now the thought of seducing him into sex with _his_ crown in place gave her some interesting ideas. She gave it a few minute’s silent contemplation before moving on.

"Husband?"

"Yes, my queen?"

"Would you care to join me in a bath?"

"I would be honored to wash the royal person. But keep in mind that I plan to be quite thorough if you choose to bestow that task upon me."

"I would expect nothing less!"

He left her to run the bath and she was more than happy to admire the lithe grace of her naked husband. It hadn't taken very much to begin thinking of him that way. Husband. As she'd said, he was hers and this was just an official extension of that.

When she tried to stand up on her own, he playfully scooped her up before her feet touched the ground. She squealed as he slung her over his shoulder, glad she’d removed her new crown minutes before or it would have clattered to the ground. "I'm fairly certain I have to carry you over every threshold tonight. I don't make the laws."

"Yes, you do," she exclaimed indignantly, although it was hard to affect the proper level of ire suspended upside down while stark naked.

He did do her the courtesy of putting her on her feet rather than depositing her directly into the enormous tub. It was probably large enough for five people, but they stayed close to each other as Loki proved true to his word. He was _so_ intent on scrubbing her clean that he saw fit to make her come twice more with his dexterous fingers.

When the water turned cool and they retreated to the bed, but she didn't object when he insisted on carrying her again. In fact, she was starting to enjoy it. He stowed them beneath the thick blankets and they ended up facing one another, matching grins spread across their faces.

“We really did it,” she breathed.

“I…” he stopped himself, coughing and briefly avoiding her eyes before continuing. “I am so very proud of you.”

“Thank you, Loki.”

But rather than sleep, they stayed up several more hours, discussing their plans for the immediate and long-term future. They had sex two more times, before they unwillingly surrendered to slumber. They left it unspoken between them, but both secretly feared that if they slept, they may wake up to find none of it had happened. As if to hold him in place, Erna clutched one of his hands to her breast as they drifted off. Strangely, he didn’t mind, despite the mild discomfort.


	19. Chapter 19

Erna was entirely too warm and too comfortable to pay the rocking any mind. But it wouldn’t stop and when it was joined with a faraway voice calling her name, she couldn’t ignore it any longer. So she did what any sensible person would do: she pulled the covers over her head and told the voice no.

All Loki could hear through the fabric though, was a muffled string of protests. He finally had to resort to pulling the covers back, letting the sunlight hit her sullen face. It might have been cruel (and she said it was later), but it was necessary.

“You have to get up now, little elf. We have to make an appearance at breakfast.”

“I’ve only been asleep for five minutes!”

“Almost five hours, actually.” She squinted up at him to see he wasn’t even ready himself, clad only in loose-fitting breeches that hung precariously low on his narrow hips.

“I can’t get up yet. My husband kept me awake all night, because I kept coaxing him into having more sex with me.”

“If you recall, there was no coaxing required.” He pulled the blankets completely off of her and steeled himself to her whines about how cold it was in the room. “Now, little one, I would love to spend all day with you in this bed, but we’re expected to show ourselves.”

“Then why are you teasing me with all that exposed skin?” As her vision adjusted to the bright light, she started to see more details of said skin. When she saw the angry bruise on his left shoulder, she gasped in surprise. “Loki! What _is_ that?” She sat up and pointed to the mark.

“Was last night really that forgettable?” He chuckled and sat down on the edge of the bed. “You did that when I had you against the wall.”

“Oh.” She now remembered the act, but still wasn’t sure about the impulse behind it, just that it had been a strong one. “But last night it didn’t look that bad.” It had seemed no more than an angry red dent in his shoulder. She hadn’t broken skin at least.

“It’s already shaping up to be quite a bruise.” He ran his fingers over it and winced slightly at the touch.

“I’m so sorry! I’ll never do it again.”

“No it’s… I… I quite enjoyed it. Watching you let go like that was… well it was intoxicating.”

He seemed almost dreamy about the memory and she thought his pupils even dilated a bit talking about it. “If you come closer I’ll be happy to kiss it for you and make you feel better.”

Despite her innocent face, he knew better than to take her up on the offer. Not then at least. Instead he stood just as one of her hands grabbed at the waist of his pants. “Not now, my ravenous little queen. Now we must prepare for breakfast.”

She watched as he moved to his wardrobe and resumed dressing. In all their months together, she’d never seen him like this in the light of day. Lean and powerful, he was a fine specimen to behold, and as she reminded herself, he belonged to her. The sinewy muscle moving beneath his pale skin was mesmerizing and her hand started to drift between her thighs almost unconsciously.

Although he wasn’t looking directly at her, he must have possessed some kind of sixth sense, scolding her before she could reach her goal. “None of that, little one. I’m sending for your handmaidens in two minutes and I’d rather not have to explain why the queen is pleasuring herself after her wedding night. People might think I didn’t have it in me to satisfy you.”

“Please, Loki?” She squirmed in place and tried to look as pitiful as possible. “We can be quick.”

“The sooner you get dressed, the sooner we start the day and can attend to our duties. If we’re quick and efficient, I can have you back in bed by midday.”

“Midday? I thought it was just breakfast.”

“Oh how quickly your memory is clouded by arousal.” He was teasing her and she didn’t even care. She didn’t want any damn food and she didn’t want to have to talk to anyone else. “We have to formally receive the wedding gifts in the throne room. It’s traditional.”

“And after that you promise I don’t have to share you until tomorrow?”

“You have my word.”

“Fine.” She slid out of bed and marched into the bathroom. “But I don’t have to like it,” she called back to him before closing the door.

**-XXX-**

She may have been reluctant to join the rest of the world, but she did find it delightful to flaunt her happiness in her father’s face. Reynard was forced to feign joy at watching Erna and Loki whisper over breakfast and trade occasional kisses. When the meal had been cleared away, he even pulled her into his lap with only a token protest from the new queen.

And while the show was as much for her father’s benefit as anyone’s, Erna found herself enjoying it. She was able to publicly broadcast that they officially belonged to one another, despite any obstacles thrown in their path. For her, it was the next best thing to humiliating her father in front of the whole court. It was enough that the three of them knew the true score of things.

Shortly thereafter, when they moved to the throne room, Erna was surprised to see the golden monstrosity that used to occupy the dais was gone. In its place were two smaller thrones, no less opulent, but equal in their placement. It sent a very clear message that the king wasn’t solely in charge any longer. The excited chatter of the courtiers and guests indicated that this was an unexpected development.

But Loki paid the whispers no mind, as he guided her up the steps and saw her seated beside him. Their chairs were close enough together that he was able to hold her hand as the procession of well-wishers began.

She greeted the first few purely on instinct, as her mind was still processing everything. She really was the queen, sitting on her throne, gorgeous new crown perched on her brow, surveying the room from a place of prominence. It was starting to sink in that these were her _subjects_.

After the third lord presented a set of jeweled goblets they had no use for, she felt Loki squeeze her hand and murmur, “Just breathe and you’ll be fine.”

She nodded and squeezed back, forcing her thoughts to the task at hand. She would focus on what had to be done and the rest could be contemplated later.

Although only the most prominent lords, ladies, and ministers were allowed this personal interaction with the king and queen, there were still a lot of them to get through. They endured hours of posturing and the presentation of gifts neither wanted, nor needed. It was a way for the powerful to show just how wealthy they were by showering the royals with expensive trinkets. She wondered if this was all just added to the treasury, because surely there would be a way it could help the kingdom beyond just taking up space and collecting dust.

But those were questions for later. Now she was making a concerted effort to smile and make comments where she could so the gift-giver would feel like they had a genuine moment with their rulers. Tedious though it may be, she understood the purpose.

Once the last well-wisher was attended to, Erna took a deep breath and decided to go with the plan she’d come up with. Clearing her throat, she looked the nearest guard in the eye and spoke, “Bring the royal metalsmiths to me now, please.”

The young man hesitated a beat too long before replying and Loki noticed immediately. “Do as your queen bids and be quick about it!”

He stammered an apology while retreating out of the room. The courtiers milled about in confusion, unsure as to the direction this gathering was taking, but they stayed a respectful distance away from the dais.

Loki spoke in a low voice and she was happy to hear only mild curiosity in his words. “What are you up to, little one?”

“Hopefully rectifying a mistake you made.” Her tone wasn’t harsh or scolding and she leaned over to kiss his cheek before continuing. “Loki, we want the people to love you and threatening to torture the palace craftsmen is not the way to do it.”

“ _I_ want people to fear me.”

“And those that need a healthy dose of fear, like my idiot father, are one thing, but we want the common folk to love you.”

“That is an impossible task, Erna. I’m lucky I didn’t have a full-scale insurrection on my hands when I ascended to the throne.”

“The people have long memories and I think they still have fond ones of you as a boy. Loki, it’s not impossible that you could be loved.”

He gave her a pointed look and she was sure to hold his gaze so he could see that she truly believed what she said. “Erna, you must understand that I can’t-”

Whatever he was about to say was cut off by the return of the guard with a pair of wizened old men. The boy addressed Erna directly this time. “My queen, the men you asked for.” He stepped away with a fearful glance at Loki, as if further demonstrating her point. People were afraid of their king.

Erna beckoned the men forward and they took a few tentative steps up the platform. “Gentlemen, it would please me to know who I’m addressing. What are your names?”

The taller of the pair bowed low and answered her in a shaking voice. “I am Eilif, your majesty, and this,” he motioned towards his companion, “is Bragi.”

She stood and took the few steps down to meet them in the middle. “I just wanted to thank you for making such a beautiful crown for me. It’s absolutely exquisite. May I shake your hands?”

The two men stared at her, eyes wide with surprise, only able to silently goggle at her for several heartbeats. Finally, Bragi spoke up and snapped himself out of his stupor. “We would be honored, your grace.”

She had to give him credit, for although his was shaking heartily, he reached out and shook her proffered hand. Eilif followed, still seemingly unable to find any words.

They chatted for a few minutes, well, Erna did most of the talking, but she wanted to leave them at ease. She casually mentioned how nervous she’d been that the crown might slip from her head and how the king had assured her it would fit perfectly. Hopefully that would at least go part of the way to explaining his behavior and it wasn’t even a total lie.

When they left a few minutes later, both bowing and grinning at their new queen, she rejoined Loki. He didn’t bother to disguise the amused grin on his face. “I’m not allowed to threaten the servants any longer, am I?”

“No, you’re not. Step one of redeeming you in the eyes of your subjects is complete.”

“How many steps are there?”

“As many as it takes, husband.”

He considered the determined set to her jaw and knew there was no arguing with her. So he tried changing the subject slightly, as he found her strange confidence in him confusing and rather unnerving. “You have to start thinking of them as your subjects too, little one.”

“That will take some getting used to still.”

“What if I was able to soundly distract you from any of your new queenly duties? So as to not overwhelm you on your first day, of course.” Something in his eyes belied the virtuous look on his face.

“Where would such a distraction take place?”

“In our bedchamber. I promised a certain little queen that I’d get her back to bed as soon as possible.”

“Then by all means make our excuses, your majesty.”

It was only a matter of minutes before they closed their door on the rest of the world.


	20. Chapter 20

So far, marriage was to Erna’s liking. She had felt profound satisfaction watching her father depart for Alfheim two days after the ceremony. Feeling good and truly free for the first time in her life, she was even beginning to enjoy the reverence with which everyone treated her. Suddenly, people seemed to heed her words more closely and nobody dared ignore her when she spoke. It was a heady feeling and she wondered if she’d ever get used to it. Loki had been raised a prince and expected such behavior from the court, but for her it was like a switch was flipped the moment he’d slipped the ring on her finger.

She was also enjoying finally being able to share a bed every night without fear of someone finding out. As well as they’d known each other before the wedding, it was infinitely more pleasurable now. In the few short weeks since the wedding, they’d made love more times than she could count. Silently she hoped that pregnancy would wait at least a little longer while they had a chance to enjoy each other.

Despite three vigorous rounds that night, Erna found herself awakened from a deep slumber. A jolt of fear shot through her, clearing away the vestiges of a dream. Within seconds all she could really remember was that it had been disturbing. Blindly groping in Loki’s direction, hoping for the comfort of his warm body, she was startled to find his side of the large bed unoccupied. Though the curtains were open, the moonless night offered her no illumination as she scanned their chamber for some sign of him.

She tugged a blanket off of the bed and wrapped it around her frame before leaving the safety of the bed. For some reason, an uneasiness had crept in, settling heavily in her stomach. Something just felt _wrong_ and she wanted nothing more than to find her husband.

A quick search told her he wasn’t in the adjoining bathroom, nor was he in the small study he sometimes used for work. She let out a sigh of relief when she finally spied his silhouette on their balcony. He must have been deep in thought, visibly jumping when she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Although the night was cool, it wasn’t cold, but his skin felt like ice beneath her fingers. “Loki, you’re freezing. Come back inside.”  He was wreathed in shadow, but she could still appreciate the outlines of his lithe, naked body. Surely she could come up with some ideas to warm him up.

Pressing a kiss to his back, she tried to wrap some of the blanket around him, but was thwarted in the attempt when he twisted away from her hold. “ _Never_ sneak up on me like that again,” he hissed with an unexpected anger.

Confused, she squinted up into the darkness, wishing his face were clearer. He sounded so cross, but surely he was joking with her. “I wasn’t sneaking, Loki. You weren’t in bed and I got worried.”

“You found me. Now go back to bed.” If this was a joke, he was taking it too far. He’d never used this tone with her before and she felt her anxiety spike.

“Loki, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing!” He was shouting now, backing her closer to the doorway with every word. “Do as you’re told and go back to bed! Queen though you may be, I answer to no one!” If the light would have been any stronger, she would have noticed the red glint of his eyes as he yelled down at her.

It was as if he’d slapped her, but rather than sadness, a hot anger simmered up. “You _brute_. Everyone told me it was only a matter of time before you turned on me. But I didn’t believe them. I was stupid enough to believe _you_.” She stood as straight as possible, knowing even her full height was unimpressive to someone as tall as Loki, but it felt important she do so all the same. “If you want to be alone, fine!”

Turning, she stalked off the balcony and flung the doors closed behind her. After a moment’s hesitation, she decided to lock them as well. He could surely open them with a wave of his hand, but it let him know she didn’t want him following her. She threw off the blanket and marched over to her wardrobe. Rather than take the time to light a lamp, she fumbled around in the dark for her riding clothes, knowing it was the only full set of garments she could don without the help of her maids.

She dressed quickly, refusing to give into the urge to look back at the balcony doors. The clothing gave her a measure of comfort, as she didn’t feel quite so exposed. Finally, believing herself to be fit to at least leave their chambers, she reached into the back of the bureau and removed her staff. Without a further glance, she left the room and practically sprinted to the stables.

**-XXX-**

It was almost dawn by the time she’d roused a stable boy and readied her horse. There was no sign of her husband, but she felt an urgency to leave Asgard before he caught up with her. She rode out of the palace’s east gate and simply followed the road out of the city, keeping a grueling pace until she was well away from the city. Beyond feeling the need to escape, she had no destination in mind, nor a plan once she got there. This just felt like what she needed to be doing at the moment.

Finally, when she felt the city was far enough at her back, she stopped her colt beside a stream and paused to rest. Sitting on the bank, she felt guilty when she spotted the foam on his flanks. She’d ridden him harder than she normally would and failed to notice how tired he was. Yet another thing to feel awful about, she mused.

The early morning sun was strong and warm as it beat down on them, yet she still felt a chill remembering the night’s events. She was so confused over Loki’s behavior and now slightly ashamed at her own. Her temper was difficult to manage at the best of times, but something last night had just snapped, something that wasn’t exorcised by the rigorous ride alone.

She hobbled her horse, allowing him to drink and graze freely without the worry of him running off, while she searched the forest surrounding the stream. Within a few minutes she found a sapling that would suit her needs nicely. While not as sturdy as a training dummy, it offered a pliability that would hopefully be challenging.

Her hands found their grip on the smooth, strong wood of the staff and her body fell into fighting stance. As _vigorous_ as her sessions with Loki had been of late, her body quickly reminded her how out of practice she was. She may have been able to land blow after blow on the young tree, but her speed was nowhere near what it once was. After several minutes she found herself gasping for air and trying to ignore the sting in her arms and legs. Clearly sex favored the use of some muscles over others.

But the activity helped her mind more than anything, allowing her to simply focus on the task at hand. The sapling offered her no argument as she pummeled it with her staff over and over again. And if she pictured Loki’s smug face as she landed the occasional blow, then nobody knew but her.

Lungs and limbs burning, she finally allowed herself to stop as the sun climbed almost to its peak. After drinking her fill from the stream, she collapsed onto the bank, chest still heaving with the exertion. She’d probably be sore for a week after such a punishing session, but she did feel better, as she usually did after training.

“Is this the only talent you’ve been hiding from me, little elf?” Too tired to move, she didn’t even bother to look back and find the source of the familiar voice.

“Not hiding, _your majesty_ ,” she let sarcasm drip from the title.

“You say your majesty, but I think you mean something else.” Gone was the stinging anger from his words the night before. She was happy she couldn’t see his face, because the supercilious look he likely wore wouldn’t help her already dark mood.

“Oh pardon me. I meant to say _volatile rude hateful obnoxious asshole_.”

He chuckled and she heard him sit down somewhere behind her. “You always do have a way with words.”

She didn’t answer, unwilling to be drawn into a genial conversation with him so easily. His silver tongue was well known for a reason and right now she wanted to stay mad at him. They sat in silence as her breathing returned to normal. The sun started to burn her face, but she’d be damned if she moved to another position now.

Finally, he spoke again, but with less bravado than before. “Your hasty departure is now the talk of the castle.”

“Good.”

“Good? How so?”

“Because someone will be brave or stupid enough to ask me about it and I’ll be happy for everyone to know the truth.”

“Which is?”

“That my husband screamed at me for no reason and made me feel like an imbecile. That somehow he thought it was permissible to take out his ire on me for no _fucking_ reason. He reminded me that despite his flowery words, I can rely on nobody but myself.”

“Erna…”

“What?! Go ahead, Loki. Make your excuses. Turn it around on me so I feel as if I’m the one in the wrong. Do it!” She leapt to her feet and roared the words at him.

She didn’t expect the sight before her. He usually took meticulous care in his appearance, knowing how important it was project the proper image. But now he sat before her in faded riding clothes, hair disheveled, and large circles under his eyes.

“I have no excuse for my behavior, Erna. I would never manipulate you like that.”

“Ah so you’ll just shout at me indiscriminately. Yes, that’s much better.”

“I have no excuse,” he repeated. “But I do have an explanation if you’d like to hear it.”

“You came all this way, you may as well tell me.”

“You startled me last night.”

“I’d gathered that.”

“Will you allow me to finish?” She waved a hand at him to continue. “I thought you were sound enough asleep, that I was safe. It was my fault, not yours.”

“Safe from what?”

“I… you know the truth of my parentage. I kept the appearance expected of me before I was even able to consciously think about it. I feel more at home in this skin than any other, but sometimes I feel the need to drop the illusion completely. I was in my Jotun form last night when you found me.”

“And for _that_ you screamed at me?”

“I’m sorry, Erna, I truly am. I was afraid you would see me like that and I lashed out.”

“You couldn’t have told me all that last night?”

“I panicked. It wasn’t right, but you deserved to know why I acted as I did.”

“Well, it’s unacceptable. You’ll never speak to me that way again.”

“Again? You’re not leaving Asgard?” The hope that shone from his face erased years from him and gave her a glimpse of the boy he’d once been.

“Leaving? Because we had a fight? No, Loki. I just needed some time alone and it’s not proper for me to spar at the palace.” She sunk down beside him, body already aching from her workout. A wariness was also beginning to creep in, as the lack of sleep took its toll.

“Who’s to tell you it isn’t proper? I’m heartened by the fact that my queen can defend herself should the need arise.” He seemed in much better humor now that the threat of her leaving was gone.

“The entire court? My father never approved of my staff and the only reason I got away with it is because our master-at-arms liked me and trained me despite my father’s wishes.”

“You’re the queen now, Erna. If you want to practice in the full view of the court it’s your prerogative. Or if you want to set up a space for private training, you can do that as well. Personally, I’d prefer the whole of Asgard know the queen can take care of herself.”

“You wouldn’t be embarrassed by me?”

“Of course not! I’m nothing but proud of you, Erna. I’ll stand behind whatever you decide.”

“You’re just happy I’m not running away.”

“I am pleased about that, yes.” He smiled, but she caught a fleeting look of fear cross his face. She realized he really had been afraid she’d leave him. “But I promise, I couldn’t be prouder to have you as a wife. Even when my actions don’t always reinforce it.”

“I’m still mad at you,” she grumbled and stretched out onto the soft grass.

“And I’m glad of it, believe it or not. I need you to tell me when my behavior is unsatisfactory. You have to push back so I know it won’t be tolerated. You’re not a pushover with anyone else and I don’t expect you to be one for me.” He leaned back and lay next to her, clearly as exhausted as she was.

“You really thought I’d leave you over a fight?”

“I’ve never been married. I don’t know how things work.”

“You’re a dolt sometimes. It’s going to take a lot more than some blue skin to chase me away, Loki.”

“I’ve never had a partner like this before and I’m still getting used to it. I _am_ sorry, Erna.”

“I know you are. You’ve apologized and it’s done.”

“But you’re still mad at me?”

“Yes. A little. I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m a bit of a hothead. That and what little sleep I did get was interrupted by a terrible dream, so I’m not at my best right now.”

“Will you tell me about it?”

“I don’t remember much. Just that I was more afraid than I’d ever been in my life. There was fire and chaos and I was terrified.”

“And you woke up alone. No wonder you came looking for me. I’m sorry, little one.”

She felt beside her and twined her fingers with his. “Thank you.”

They watched the sun trace lazily across the sky for several more minutes before curiosity got the better of her. “How did you find me? I didn’t even know where I was going. I still don’t actually know where we are.”

“Enough people saw a rider matching your description pelting down the road that it was relatively easy. When you left the city proper I was able to follow your tracks.”

“You didn’t send a battalion out to fetch me instead?”

“As angry as you were? No, I had no wish to send any of my men to their deaths.”

“Probably a wise choice.” Her muscles were starting to stiffen again and she knew she’d have a hell of a time getting up if she stayed there much longer. He watched her intently as she stretched slowly and staggered to her feet. “Now get me home, husband. I have an appointment with a hot bath and a large mug of ale.”

“It is my duty to obey.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you got used to the daily posting schedule, I apologize. I've written parts of the next two chapters, but not all of them so there will probably be a few days between postings for a bit.
> 
> And thank you to everyone that has commented on this little endeavor. I'm having such fun talking to you guys in the comments and it's really helping me keep this story in the back of my mind at all times. Some of my favorite bits have come out of seeming nowhere because I've had a run of dialogue going on in the back of my brain. So thank you for helping the process along! <3

Erna saw to every detail she could think of to prepare for the meeting. She fussed over which dress to choose, whether to wear her hair down or not, and all the other tedious little choices that were fully in her control. Because she _couldn_ _’t_ control her reception from the high council. And as certain as Loki was of her place, she knew others wouldn’t feel the same.

That morning, while fussing in front of the mirror far longer than was her habit, she saw him come up behind her and wrap an arm around her waist. “Little one, if you preen any longer we’ll have to postpone.” He kissed her neck and pulled her against his chest. “You belong in that room more than any of them. I wish you wouldn’t worry.”

“Well, I can’t help but worry, but you’re right that we’d better go.”

“Just act fully assured in their presence and hide any temporary misgivings you may have.”

“Darcy gave me similar advice before the wedding, but hers was a bit more poetic. ‘Fake it till you make it’, I believe was the phrase.”

He grinned and offered her his arm. She took a deep breath before they left their rooms, but once the door opened, made sure her face was a mask of peaceful confidence.

As with almost anything in Asgard, the king and queen had to make a proper entrance. There was even a small chamber off the main council room for the express use of the monarchy. They waited there for the remaining lords to gather, before they swept into the room.

Even Erna had to admit they made an impressive pair. Though mismatched in height and coloring, they wore garments of matching shades of green and gold to emphasize their togetherness. She drew strength from the circlet resting on her brow and Loki’s hand in hers. She could absolutely do this.

They seated themselves at the head of the table and Erna studied the faces of her husband’s closest advisers. They’d known she was coming, but not in what capacity and they had yet to hear the true scope of her involvement.

The first fifteen minutes were a waste of florid speeches and welcomes for the new queen. She smiled and responded appropriately, just waiting for them to turn when Loki explained the situation.

Once the pleasantries were over, the ministers looked expectantly to Loki. When he began speaking of the education issue they’d previously discussed, she could see comprehension start to dawn. At first it was just furtive glances among the other men, followed by heated whispers among some of the more tradition-minded members. Loki knew full well what was happening and had even warned his wife to expect it. He continued on, waiting for one of them to deign to interrupt him.

Lord Volsung, a holdover from Odin’s council, finally plucked up the courage to speak. “Your majesty, I would hate to bore the queen with what is sure to be a long debate. Surely she’d rather attend to other matters.” Of course he’d spoken to Loki as if she wasn’t present.

Erna looked him squarely in the eye and responded with a saccharine smile. “Lord Volsung, I’m pleased we have someone that is so concerned with my level of boredom, but I assure you, this issue interests me, as all those of the realm do. I’m part of this council now and I won’t shirk my responsibilities.”

“Of course, your majesty.” She could sense that the seeming acquiescence would be tempered with something else and he didn’t prove her wrong. “But traditionally the queen only attends the meetings that involve issues directly pertinent to her.” She knew this meant what he considered _ladies issues_ such as royal dinners and other such social items.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Loki’s lips quiver, suppressing a smile. He stayed quiet and let Erna fight this battle. It wouldn’t do for the lords to think she had to be protected by her husband. That and he wanted to enjoy the show.

“Lord Volsung, I fail to see how education _wouldn_ _’t_ be pertinent to the queen. I know I’m relatively new to government, so I would be pleased to have you explain it to me.” Again she smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She was in what Loki liked to call predator mode, like a lioness methodically stalking her prey.

“Well, your grace… it’s just that… traditionally the um queen usually only concerns herself with women’s issues.”

“Tell me, Volsung, do you happen to know what percentage of our population is female?”

Taken aback by this seeming non sequitur, he fumbled through his papers as if the answer would suddenly present itself. After several panicked moments, he replied, “No, your majesty I do not.”

“By the count of the last census, Asgard is 54.2 percent female, meaning there are actually more women than men in this realm. So using the traditional logic you seem so fond of, I fail to see how anything important enough for the council to consider _isn_ _’t_ a women’s issue.”

She could see him trying to form a rebuttal, but no words seemed to come. So she continued, now addressing the whole room. “I am your queen. It is my privilege and duty to sit on this council and I plan on doing just that. If you take issue with it and have only tradition to fall back upon, then I suggest you resign your seat and my husband and I will appoint a replacement. We will bear no ill will, but you will not continue to participate in the governance of the realm. Is that understood?”

Several men just looked stunned into silence, but a few chants of _hear hear_ and some sporadic clapping broke out from some of Loki’s appointees. At least the _whole_ room wasn’t antagonistic towards her.

Loki finally spoke once the worst of the tension seemed to have abated. “Well said, my queen. Now I believe you have some additional items to bring up based on the last meeting’s conversations?”

“I do, thank you, husband.” She proceeded to outline her thoughts on the matter and watched as the protesters settled into sullen silence.

By the end of the day, two had walked out over the queen’s involvement, but it was actually a lower number than they’d anticipated or even hoped for. Unfortunately, Volsung hadn’t been one of them. This was an easy way to weed out the council without taking any drastic measures. If a lord resigned, he could be replaced without a messy power struggle. But two was a start.

They made a grand show of attending dinner in good spirits and even invited a few of the more supportive lords to sup with them at the high table. Erna called it manipulation while Loki said it was simply reinforcement of desired behavior. He intended to train his council in the same manner many expected him to train his wife. But they were already starting to show the old guard what they thought of _that_ particular opinion.

After the meal was cleared, he leaned close and spoke in a low growl. “I beg you not to torture me further, my queen.”

She looked quizzically at him, not understanding his words. He explained further. “I’ve watched all day as you’ve proven yourself and all day I’ve had to fight the urge to take you on whatever available surface was at hand. Please have mercy on your poor husband.”

Again, she studied his face, seeing the blown pupils and hard set to his mouth. He didn’t seem to be exaggerating. The day’s events had sparked something in him, something she rather liked the look of.

Without further discussion, she stood and began making their excuses. They rushed down the corridor and slammed the door shut behind them. Thankfully, Loki hadn’t seen fit to use his magic to dispose of their clothing right away, or they would have had an awkward situation on their hands. Because her new maid, Tora, was standing patiently in the middle of the room, placid smile on her face.

Loki didn’t bother disguising the look of impatient anger on his face, but he let Erna do the talking. “Tora, you and Bera are always dismissed after we leave for dinner. If I have need of you I’ll summon you. Surely Bera explained that to you?”

The young woman blushed all the way to the roots of her white blonde hair and curtsied. “Yes, your majesty she did, but I thought that since your grace was wearing a gown with quite a lot of lacing, that my help would be required before your majesties retired for the night. It’s only that the lacing is quite complicated and I-”

Erna stopped her with a wave of her hand, appreciating the woman’s need to go above and beyond, but also tamping down the frustration from her idea of being _helpful_. She hoped it was just that the girl was new to her service and was a little too eager to please her new mistress. There was not a hint of malice or subterfuge with Tora, she just genuinely wanted to help, which lately seemed to irritate Loki even more than if she was openly hostile.

“Tora, that was very kind of you, but my husband helps me prepare for bed each night.” And he was usually far too impatient to unlace things properly. Often he would just rip the offending garment off and repair it with his magic later. But the girl didn’t need the details. “Until you’re used to our habits you must listen to Bera, all right?”

“Yes, your majesty.” She curtsied again. It seemed a nervous habit for the girl, so Erna was sure to keep her face from registering any frustration. Loki was radiating enough silent ire for the both of them. “I’m sorry if I’ve overstepped.”

“It’s perfectly all right, Tora. Have a good night.” It was as kind a dismissal as she could muster and Tora rushed off to her rooms.

Loki was upon her the second they were alone, hands roving over her possessively. “You were far too kind. That one doesn’t have any sense and requires firm words.”

She wasn’t idle either, fingers fumbling with all the damnable layers he insisted on wearing. “Do you really want to discuss the relative merits and drawbacks of my maids _now_?”

“No I damn well don’t.” With that, he slid down to his knees and buried his nose in the junction between her thighs. Even fully clothed, the gesture was strangely erotic. “I would like to worship my brilliantly brave and clever queen now.”

She carded her fingers through his hair, enjoying his very frank admiration. “I’ll leave it to you to decide how best to express your feelings.”

He ended up expressing them quite eloquently and thoroughly, _worshiping_ her a grand total of five times that night. As she lay curled around him later, she watched him sleep, face smooth and untroubled in his slumber. Loki still remained such a mystery to her in many ways. Today had been a prime example. Nothing would have led her to believe he’d react so _strongly_ to seeing her embrace her new role. She thought that maybe he was just happy to have someone share this part of his life with, a true partner in all things. She certainly thought of them that way.

But the thought kept nagging at her and something told her it was more than that, something deeper. He’d become such an integral part of her life so quickly, that it could be a little overwhelming at times. Maybe he felt the same way and today had just been a manifestation of that?

After mulling about it far later than she should, she decided she had to make an effort at sleep. Leaning over carefully, she brushed her lips across his forehead and murmured a soft, “thank you,” before settling back down. She wasn’t exactly sure _what_ she was thanking him for, but it felt important.

Eventually, she was able to quiet the thoughts swirling in her head and joined her husband in sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

Erna took Loki's words to heart and decided to resume her training in earnest. She engaged one of the armsmasters as a personal instructor and garnered a corner of the practice field for her own use. They agreed on three or four mornings a week and just making the decision left her buoyant. If anyone thought it unusual, they kept their opinions to themselves.

The first morning she joined the other warriors at practice, she did get a fair number of looks, but nothing openly hostile or rude. Part of her wished her father could be present just to rub her newfound power in his face. It might have been a petty thought, but she didn't care.

To commemorate her first week, Loki surprised her with a brand new staff. When he presented it to her after dinner, she couldn't stop staring at the rich red hue of the wood. It was much more impressive than her old weapon, with gold runes inscribed along its length.

"Loki, this is gorgeous! Thank you. I'll keep it safe for ceremonial occasions."

"It's meant to be for your everyday use."

"But it's far too beautiful to abuse in the practice arena. I wouldn't want to destroy it."

"Little one, I took great care making this for you. It's imbibed with any number of potions and enchantments. It's lighter, stronger, and yes, more beautiful than any other staff. I wanted you to have something worthy of a queen."

“You _made_ this for me?” She looked up at him from her place on the couch, eyes wide with surprise. Before he knew it, she’d laid the staff aside and pulled him into a strong hug.

“Of course.”

“This is the best present I’ve ever received.”

A flush crept across his face and his embarrassed stammer was another surprise. Loki was possibly the most confident person she’d ever met and to see him on seemingly unsure footing was new. “I… I just wanted you to have a fine weapon.”

Pulling back, she wanted to look him in the eye before she spoke again. “You are amazing, Loki. I can’t begin to thank you enough for this.”

“It was nothing.”

She put her hands on her hips and looked up at him through narrowed eyes. “It most certainly wasn’t nothing. You just told me you went to a lot of effort to make this for me and I won’t have you self-deprecating.”

“Is that an order from my queen?” He surprised her when he didn’t immediately amend his statements, rather he seemed almost offensive, albeit in a playful way.

“It most certainly is. I’ll not have the craftsman that made me such a beautiful present lessen his own work because he hasn’t learned to take a compliment.” As soon as the stern words left her mouth though, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him close once again. “I love it, Loki. Thank you so much.”

“You are most welcome, little queen. I’m so happy you like it.”

“Love it,” she corrected.

“I’m so happy you _love_ it.” They stayed like that for several more minutes, each lost to their own thoughts, before beginning their nightly bedtime rituals.

**-XXX-**

“Ottar, what am I doing wrong?” She was more than a little frustrated and tried not to let it show in her voice. A month in, and she still wasn’t able to bring off the maneuver without almost tipping over. Something about her balance seemed to be off since she resumed her training.

“You’re not keeping the opposite foot and leg properly grounded, Erna.” On the first day she’d insisted that he call her by her name, rather than any honorific. It just made things easier. “They must be rooted down or you’ll keep faltering. Try it again.”

She repeated the moves for what felt like the hundredth time, but once the staff made solid contact with the dummy’s left arm, she only wavered a bit on her feet. It would take practice, but now that Ottar had pointed out her mistake, it could be corrected. Newly cheerful, she turned back to her instructor, but soon found the reason for his sudden silence.

Loki stood beside him, an enigmatic smile on his patrician face. “You’ve already made impressive progress, my queen.” He closed the gap between them in a few long strides, and continued in a low voice. “I’m not sure I like how familiar your instructor is with you, calling you by your given name.”

“My training, my rules. You don’t have to like it, but you have to respect that, okay?”

“Well I _don_ _’t_ like it, but I suppose all I can do is register my dislike and move on.” And apparently moving on meant stepping even closer to her. “Could I beg a kiss from my wife, please?”

“Loki, I’m a sweaty mess!”

“I’m fully cognizant of your current situation, little one. I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t prepared for it.”

Laughing at his ridiculous formality, she flung her arms around his neck and pulled him down into an enthusiastic kiss. She made sure to press as much of her sweaty body against him as possible. But when they broke apart, the amusement she expected wasn’t on his face. Instead, he seemed to possess a focused intensity it took her a moment to pinpoint.

She hissed her question at him, making sure nobody could hear it. “Loki, is this turning you on?” Suddenly she was very thankful for the way his robe strategically draped over his crotch.

“Are you surprised that I’m having a natural response to seeing your breast heaving with exertion and you glistening with sweat? It’s not an uncommon occurrence, although I will say you’re wearing entirely too many clothes for my liking.”

“Loki,” she shot him a warning tone. “We are _not_ having sex on the practice field. Absolutely not.”

“I can make it to where nobody sees us.”

“And if your concentration slips at an inopportune time, then I shudder to think what the result would be. No thank you.” She couldn’t believe they were actually having this conversation.

“It would be my aim to have you shudder with pleasure.” They stared at each other for a few tense moments before he relented. “But if that’s off the table, as you say, then I feel I must entertain you by other means.” He tapped her quarterstaff and gave her a playful smile. “At the ready, little elf.”

“You mean to offer me instruction?”

“I mean to offer you a fight.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Loki.”

“And why not?”

“You have decades more experience than I do and you’ve successfully led troops into battle. If you let me win, everyone will know it and it will weaken your position. If you beat me, it would likely humiliate me in front of the court. As I see it, there’s no good to be found here.”

“Who’s to say I would _let_ you win?”

“I can’t beat you in a fair fight!”

“I don’t fight fair and nor should you, little one. If it’s between you getting maimed or killed and something as impermanent as honor, I expect you to employ every trick that cunning little mind of yours can come up with.” He paused and pondered her before continuing. “Actually, I do wish to offer you instruction. I fear that while Ottar’s intentions are good, he’s teaching you the kind of dross that Thor believes in.”

“Don’t go in for duty and honor, do you?”

“You have a duty to _me_ , little one. To come home to me in one piece. A time will come when I will have to go to battle, that’s inevitable. But would you rather me worry about my opponent’s honor or not making you a widow?”

“I don’t like that kind of talk, Loki.” She tried to walk away from such an unpleasant conversation, but he gently grabbed her elbow before she got too far.

“You may not like it, but it is a reality, my stubborn little queen. I would see you fully educated and prepared.” Part of his heart broke when he noticed the tears shining in her eyes. He might have taken it a bit too far, but he believed every word of what he’d told her. Fighting was dirty and brutish and he couldn’t have her concerned with proper battle etiquette if she ever had to defend herself. He couldn’t even contemplate what losing her would feel like.

He pulled her into an intense embrace and calmed her before he spoke again. “I’m not trying to upset you, Erna.”

“I know. I just… I don’t like thinking about you going to war.”

“And I don’t like thinking about you not having every available tool in your arsenal, should you find a need for them.”

After several breaths, he felt her relax in his arms. “How do I know you’ll be a good instructor? Do you have any references?”

“You know that scar on my left forearm?”

“Yes.” She knew it well. It terrified her that he might be put in another situation that would leave him with a five inch gash anywhere on his body.

“If I wouldn’t have employed an illusion to distract my opponent at the last minute, that blow wouldn’t have ended up on my arm. I would likely have died.”

“But I don’t have magic.”

“No, but I can get you thinking about creating your own advantages. Erna, I would like to teach you what I can, and I’m appalled I didn’t think of it sooner.”

She pulled away and looked up at him, jaw set with determination. “Don’t go easy on me.”

“You’re just learning, little one. Of course I’m going to go easy on you, but there’s no shame in it. We all started somewhere.”

She was finished talking about it. Curiosity tempered with a little bit of pride drove her to a nearby practice ring, no more than a wooden circle hammered into the dusty earth of the practice field. She wanted to show him what her hard-won practice had earned her and more than anything she wanted him to be proud of her. Not in the condescending way that many men had, showing pride in their wives for the most mundane of tasks normally performed by a man, but real genuine pride in what she’d accomplished.

They turned and faced one another as a ripple of excitement came over the whole yard. She noticed the clang of weapons abate and small clumps of men started to gather around them. They all looked reluctant to show too much interest, unsure of what was about to happen, yet unable to ignore it. She did her best to tune them all out.

Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she took her stance, feeling particularly idiotic, as her husband was unarmed. But she knew he was no less lethal this way and was likely festooned with daggers beneath his layers of clothing.

Before they had a chance to agree to start, he was moving. He caught her left side unguarded and landed a stinging slap against her bicep. “Lesson one, little queen, is to always be on guard for an attack. If someone truly wants to do you harm, they won’t wait until you’re ready for them.”

“Gods, is this going to be the whole fight? You giving me pearls of wisdom as you run circles around me?”

He chuckled darkly. “If you don’t let me run circles around you, I won’t lecture.”

Instead of replying, she chose to simply watch him, wary for any signs of movement. But after a moment of stasis, she decided to go on the offensive first, rather than let him pull a similar stunt. She did her best not to signal her intent with her eyes, keeping them focused on him as she moved.

Erna feinted right and was pleased to see him move to defend that side, before twirling around and bringing her staff into satisfying contact with his left shin. The blow likely did little damage, and even if it had, he showed no signs of it with a huge grin plastered across his face. “Well done, my queen!”

Again, she chose to stay silent as the started to stalk around each other in a circle. When he was ready, he moved so quickly she temporarily lost sight of him, but felt his cloak brush her side as he moved around. Instinctively, she rolled to the opposite side, just wanting away from the green blur. At first she thought she’d gotten away, but mid-roll one ankle was yanked away from her and she ended up sprawled on her stomach.

Loki leaned over her, that shit-eating smile still on his lips. “Excellent idea, but when you make such a maneuver, you leave your limbs vulnerable to attack.”

She rolled over onto her back, breath already heaving in her chest from the exertion. “ _This_ is going easy on me?”

He leaned closer, so only she could hear his reply. “If you’d like, I can go hard on you later, in a completely different context.”

Erna saw he was still aroused, and frantically searched for a way to use it to her advantage. Nothing came to mind that wouldn’t adversely affect his plans for them that night. A groin shot would likely give her an advantage, but she wasn’t willing to take it quite that far.

Getting to her feet, she faltered and clutched her side. As expected, Loki rushed to her aid. “Little one,” was all he managed to get out before she moved. She ignored the pang of guilt at her treachery, but knew deep down he would approve.

Already bent over, she was able to piston into his midsection, nearly knocking him off his feet in his unguarded state. Before he could recover, she whirled around him and thwacked her staff against the small of his back. He caught her coming back around though, and she earned a blow on her hip for allowing him to anticipate her path.

It went on in this manner for several more minutes, Loki only earning a few more hits than she did. Even though she knew she’d be dead if they were truly fighting and he was at full capacity, she couldn’t help but feel satisfaction every time she saw him register surprise at her choice of attack.

Body stinging from Loki’s slaps, she pulled back, readying herself for another go. She hadn’t used the dirt in the eye trick yet. But he interrupted her scheming, holding up his hands in a truce. “That’s enough for now, little queen. I know you won’t stop unless you collapse, so it’s my duty to ensure that doesn’t happen.”

He gave her a small bow and she did the same, signaling their match was at an end. The boisterous applause that broke out amongst the men startled her. She truly had forgotten that they weren’t alone. And when she looked out across the grizzled and scarred faces, she was happy to see none looked as if they pitied her. They respected the effort she’d put into the match, despite the fact that Loki had clearly been the victor.

Done with the civilities, Loki pulled her into a hug once they exited the ring. He bent and crushed his lips to hers, all the while murmuring how pleased and proud he was of his wife. She again forgot they had an audience until some of the bolder men started to cheer again.

“Take me to our chambers,” she whispered against his skin.

Rather than replying, he began striding back to the palace, his dust-covered queen in his wake.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the update drought. I went to a con last weekend and good lord did the prep consume my every moment. And afterwards... well let's just say that con drop is a real thing. Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy this and know that you'll probably get another update this weekend by way of an apology. :)

Just before they entered the safety of their chambers, Erna had a request. “No magic, please.”

He looked startled and concerned, stopping mid-stride to look back at her. “Why?”

“I want to remove your clothes myself.”

His face both softened and clouded with desire as he pulled her the last few steps. They were upon each other as soon as the door closed. The curtains were drawn, leaving the air still and cool, a contrast to the pair of them scrabbling with buttons as their mouths tried to stay together in the fray. The low light didn’t help matters, but neither seemed inclined to part for something as trivial as lighting a lamp.

He finally pulled away to get better access to the laces of her jerkin, so she took the opportunity to ask the question that had been foremost in her mind. “So does the practice field always excite you?”

Looking up from a particularly stubborn knot, he blinked in surprise, not expecting the question. “No, not usually.”

“Then why today?”

“You,” he answered simply, returning his focus to the accursed knot. “I find myself unaccountably aroused by even the most mundane tasks if you’re the one doing them.”

Somehow both stunned and unsurprised by this admission, she was still grappling for words when he grunted with triumph and slid the leather layer away. All thoughts of verbal responses melted away as Loki fondled her breasts through the thin cotton that still covered her.

They continued to fumble with lacing and layers until finally they were left completely exposed, piles of clothing scattered around them. Erna found her heart racing as much as it had while they sparred, though now it was purely in anticipation of a different kind of physical activity.

Remembering how she’d excited him before, she again pulled him down into a kiss, pressing her body against his. They were both still filthy, caked in a fine layer of dust and sweat, but if either cared, they kept it to themselves. As if by magic, she felt him stiffen against her stomach as their kiss deepened. Never one to devalue herself normally, the idea that she was able to do this to him still was somewhat astounding. The longer she knew him, the more attractive he became to her. She couldn’t believe she’d thought him merely _handsome_ a few months ago. And this ethereally beautiful man was hers, her husband. So no matter how comfortable she felt in her own skin, she still found a thrill of surprise that he responded to her so readily.

Unwilling to wait any longer, she gently pushed him down on the bed, but gestured at him to stay upright when he moved to lie down. She straddled his waist and slid him inside of her without a word. She hadn’t understood it at first, but after their bout, she’d felt the same desire he had. Whether it was some deep-seated desire to reaffirm that the fight had been play or something else entirely, she couldn’t say. She only knew that being connected like this was the only thing she wanted at that moment.

Erna found it difficult to get traction to move, as his legs were so much longer than hers, but Loki found an easy solution. He simply gripped her hips in his strong hands and began moving her as if it was effortless. All she could do was cling to his neck and enjoy the sensations. It was a new feeling to be on top and yet expel so little effort.

Despite his urgent pace, when their lips met again, his kisses were sweet and slow. She had no idea how he was keeping his movements straight. A fresh sheen of sweat coated them in a matter of minutes and she was again struck by the idea that it was just the two of them in the whole world. Just like the practice ring, something told her that if a crowd had suddenly appeared around them she wouldn’t notice a thing.

It didn’t take long before she was panting and begging him. “Please, Loki. Tell me you’re close. I want to come together.”

“Let go, little darling. I’ve been waiting for you.”

She did as he bid, and felt a strange disconnect from her body as she fell. She floated and yet he kept her grounded and safe. Loki had become her anchor in all things, a potent feeling when coupled with the waves of pleasure coursing through her body.

When she came back to herself, they were still tangled together, Loki pressing light kisses across her heated skin. Shoulder, neck, arm, whatever parts he could get to were given his sweet attention. He kept murmuring something under his breath, the same sounds over and over again, but she couldn’t make them out and was too tired to ask.

Eventually, they moved over to sprawl out on the bed. It took a brief nap to bring her fully back to her senses. When she woke, he’d opened the curtains and the bright sunlight streamed in to illuminate the pair of them. Loki’s pinched expression was explained all too quickly when she spotted the bruises that now dotted her body.

“I’m so sorry, little one.” He bent to brush his lips across a purple mark on her arm before continuing. “I should have softened my blows or padded you better.”

“Loki, we were sparring. You didn’t hit inordinately hard and if I would have been padded enough to not feel your hand, I wouldn’t have been able to move. Please don’t be upset. You know how easily I bruise.”

“I don’t like seeing you like this, Erna.”

“Well I do. It means I worked hard and that you didn’t think so little of me as to spare me some trivial bruising.” She sat up and began inspecting him, finding similar marks on his pale limbs and back. “You didn’t want to mention these,” she asked with an arched eyebrow.

“I didn’t want you to feel bad.”

“I don’t,” she said simply.

“You cause injury to your husband and you don’t feel the least bit bad about it?” She saw the smile he was trying and failing to suppress. Now assured that she was fine, he could see the humor in the situation.

“Not when my husband willingly courted such injuries. That and it means I’m not completely hopeless with my staff. I was able to bruise the great King Loki of Asgard and I’m quite proud of myself.”

He pulled her back down, trapping her in a strong hug. The power hidden in the lithe body never failed to impress her. _Overall_ he was an impressive man. “I’m beyond proud of you, my queen. I honestly don’t think there’s anything you can’t do if you so desire.”

“Do you know what I desire to do next?”

“Conquer another realm? Become the greatest poet of our age? Bend the whole council to your will?”

“Maybe later, but now I wish to bathe with my husband. We’re both filthy messes.”

“But you’re an _enchanting_ filthy mess.” He managed to stand with only a small stumble and when he was upright bent down to kiss her forehead. “I’ll see to the bath, you just relax here. If I’m not back soon send a search party.”

“I’ll wait for you, my king, as long as it takes,” she cried dramatically and held his palm to her face.

With an indulgent smile and a chuckle he disappeared into their bathroom. She decided she never would get tired of watching him walk away. As long as he was naked and he had every intention of coming back.


	24. Chapter 24

When he entered their chambers after the day's meetings were complete, he found her in the same position as he'd left her. She had her back on the bed, but the lower half of her body was upright, propped up against the headboard.

She explained before he had a chance to ask. “I haven’t been like this _all_ day. I just keep going back to it to help things along.”

"Little one, you're going to hurt yourself. If my seed was going to take, it would have done so already. And I won't even _entertain_ the idea of giving it another go in your current state."

"I'm fine." But despite the assurance, she righted herself and sat up properly.

She knew very well that she was being irrational, but the lack of a pregnancy was really starting to panic her. Despite all their amorous encounters, it was going on eight months with no heir in sight. But he knew this as well as she did and it didn't bear discussing again.

"Fine? Really? Have you even taken a meal today?"

"I wouldn't have even if I'd have been upright. I was ill half the day."

That got his attention and he sat down beside her, feeling her forehead. "What was wrong, Erna?"

"My stomach was upset. It wasn't horrible, please don't panic."

He ran his hand down and cupped the side of her face. "You take too much of this upon yourself."

"What if we don't conceive? All our plans would be for naught." The panic in her eyes surprised him. He really had thought nothing of the time. It might take years before she got pregnant. Before the wedding there was so much worry of getting pregnant too soon and now the opposite was the trouble.

"If that happens, and I'm not convinced it has, then we'll think of something."

"You would have to divorce me in favor of someone more fertile." She stuck her chin out defiantly, sure this would be the wisest course were it to come to that.

"Erna, don't talk rubbish." His tone was harsh, but he wanted to snap her out of this line of thought. "When I say we would think of something, I'm not sure you remember what we're capable of when we combine our intellects and add my magic. Trust me, it will work out."

She just nodded, unshed tears shining in her eyes. He'd made his point and now it was time to move on. The less time she spent dwelling on this the better.

"Come on." He tugged her to her feet and found her unsteady at first. With great effort he kept the scowl off of his face. She hadn't taken care of herself today in hopes of conceiving. "Get settled in a nice hot bath and I'll see to getting you some supper. I'm hoping you're up to eating at least something."

"I'm starved now, actually. I feel like I could probably out eat Volstagg."

"Then you shall have a feast."

Her arms stole around his waist and she buried her face in his chest. "Thank you," he heard her murmur.

"You're very welcome, although I've done nothing special." He wrapped his own arms around her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Please take care of yourself, little one. I only have one of you."

As she bathed, he brought her some fruit and cheese to tide her over until the meal arrived. She devoured it all, hoping he hadn't been joking about the feast. She'd skipped two meals and she was positively ravenous.

When she joined him in their small dining room, he'd already dismissed all the servants. She felt fine to stay in her robe and not bother putting anything else on. That and they'd be able to speak freely in a way they didn't allow themselves in front of even their household staff.

She tucked into the food with a gusto that made him smile. Loki filled her in on the day's appointments and she asked her usual round of insightful questions. Seeing that no lasting damage appeared to be done, he allowed himself to relax for the first time since seeing her upside down.

Although he'd been reluctant out of principle, she coaxed him into making slow, sweet love to her that night. He hadn't wanted to tax her, but he also got the distinct feeling that anything rougher just wasn't appropriate.

Afterward, as they lay tangled together, catching their breath, something occurred to him. "Little one?"

"Hmmm?"

"Today wasn't the first time you've been sick of late, was it?"

"No, it's happened a few other times recently. I probably need to lay off the ale," she chuckled, sill in a post-coital haze.

He sat up and drew her up with him, ignoring her sounds of protest. "Yes Erna, I rather think you will have to give up the ale." He gave her a meaningful look and watched her squint at him in confusion. Placing a hand lightly on her stomach, he added, "for a time."

The fuzziness in her brain finally receded enough to follow his train of thought. "Oh!" A hand flew to her mouth when she made the connection.

It was several minutes before she felt able to speak again. "I'm a prize idiot."

"Only you would be so distracted by getting pregnant that you didn't notice you already were."

"Shut up,” she grumbled, but still tucked her head on his shoulder.

"We'll go see the healers tomorrow. My calendar isn't full of anything that can't be reshuffled."

"You want to come with?" Most of the ladies in waiting were fond of telling her not to get her hopes up about the king's involvement in her eventual pregnancy. She should have known Loki would ignore social convention.

"Of course. It's our child. And I want to speak to the chief healer. I want her to know that this coupling isn't as it appears on the surface."

"Halflings exist in many realms. I'm sure it won't be a problem."

"I wouldn't think so, but I want full disclosure with your physician. I'm not taking any chances with either of you."

"That's probably wise."

They settled back down into their usual sleeping positions. Loki's hand finally came to rest upon her stomach and she let it happen without comment. Pointing out the sentimentality of the gesture might have led him to remove it and she found it comforting.

When her mind finally stopped racing, she fell off into a sound sleep, content that her greatest fear hadn't come to pass. In the coming days and weeks, however, her priorities were bound to shift and new fears would emerge. But that was a thought for later.

**-XXX-**

Eir, the chief healer, didn't seem to like Erna. She tried to console herself with the fact that Eir didn't seem to like anybody. At least Loki had forewarned her about the prickly woman, but it still seemed odd that someone of her disposition chose a profession where she had to interact with scores of people.

A scan was able to quickly confirm that Erna was indeed pregnant and quite early on by the looks of it. Once it was confirmed, Loki waved at hand at the assistants and commanded them. "Leave us." They obeyed without a word.

"Eir, I must swear you to secrecy on what I'm about to divulge."

She looked as if she'd smelled something rotten. "I don't gossip about the details of my patients, no matter who they are."

"Be that as it may," Loki responded coolly, "I'd like your word all the same."

"Fine. You have it." Erna almost snorted at the curt reply. She wasn't used to seeing anyone stand up to Loki that way. Well, nobody but her.

"I am not of Asgardian birth. Odin adopted me after the battle of Jotunheim."

"Yes, and you're really a frost giant," she finished, waving her hand impatiently. "I've treated you enough over the years and I'm not an imbecile. I know what you are."

Panic registered on the king's face at this admission. "Does anyone else know?"

"Of course not," she let out a scornful bark of laughter. "Most see what they want to see rather than examining all the facts. Your majesty, I knew by the time you took ill with croup when you were a boy."

"Well that makes this considerably easier then," Erna replied. Loki seemed temporarily without speech, so she began the discussion in earnest. "We wanted you to know, in case it changes how you approach my care."

"Makes no difference to me."

"But will I have anything I need to take into account or will there be any unusual developments?"

"It's hard to say for certain. I've never presided over a coupling between a frost giant and a light elf. Things may be... unpredictable."

" _Dangerously_ unpredictable?"

"I certainly hope not, but it's not likely to be a comfortable pregnancy for you, my queen."

"How so?" Loki's voice returned and Eir switched her attention back to him.

"The queen is small and carrying a giant's baby. I don't see any real reason to worry for her safety, but it likely won't be comfortable towards the end."

"But I can carry to full term?"

"I believe so, but I can't accurately say what full term is. It's different for both the races and could go to either extreme or something in the middle. I can't predict it."

"What is the Jotun gestation time? Light elves are usually around eight months."

"Twelve, your grace."

"Twelve. Right. That would be an adjustment, but if that's the case we'll deal with it."

"I'll need to monitor you closely and know that I will not hesitate to put you on bed rest if I see the need." It came out sounding every bit the threat it was.

"She'll follow your instructions to the letter. We'll see to it."

"And if the child gets too large, you may not be able to give birth traditionally. There's a possibility we'll have to remove it surgically. But it's something that happens occasionally and I wouldn't expect it to be unduly problematic."

"That's... reassuring," she replied. The idea wasn't a pleasant one, but she thought it best not to dwell on it until it became a necessity. It wouldn’t do her good to worry about something that might not come to pass.

They received instructions for Erna's care and Eir insisted on conducting exams every week to stay abreast of her progress. By the time they got back to their rooms, Erna felt like the day had stretched on forever, but it was still only mid-morning.

“How do you feel, little one?” He watched her gratefully sink into the plush couch cushions with a searching look.

“Tired. But nothing some lunch and a nap wouldn’t set to rights.”

“I meant the situation. How do you feel about the situation?”

“Relieved, if I’m quite honest. But there’s mostly just happiness. I didn’t really realize I wanted this so much until I started thinking about not being able to have it.”

“You’re not worried after all that Eir told us?”

“Of course I’m worried, but not inordinately so.” The strained look on his face led her to elaborate. “But Loki, I’d be worried anyway. I’m a mother now and that’s slightly terrifying. It’s also a lot of good that’s overriding the worst of the doubt, so I figure I’m doing all right.”

She pulled him down beside her, worried that he looked completely overwhelmed. “Tell me what’s going on in your head, Loki.”

“I’ve put you in danger and I never even anticipated it. I should have consulted the healers before we ever married-”

“So you would have cut me out of your plans, because I’m going to have an uncomfortable pregnancy?” Her tone wasn’t as sympathetic as he’d like. Point of fact, she sounded angry.

“No… it’s just… you’re taking a risk that neither of us even knew about.”

“Yes, I am. Both of us will do that from time to time. That’s the basic premise of life. You can’t know all the variables all the time, Loki.” She sighed and looked down at her hands, harshness gone from her words. “I need you to be at least a little happy about this.”

“I am!” The speed with which he answered took her aback. “I don’t understand it, but it’s as you said. There is fear and a host of other unpleasant things, but there’s delight mixed in too. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt quite this way.”

“So you’re all right about all this?”

“Yes, little one. I’m sorry to have given you even the tiniest doubt about that.”

“So do you think the whole palace knows already?”

“Probably. We weren’t secret about our visit with Eir and although some of the courtiers are inordinately stupid, others will piece together the facts and make their assumptions.”

“I’d like to wait until I’m further along before we make any official announcements though.”

“Whatever you wish, little one.” He put an arm around her and drew her closer. “I wasn’t sure how long the appointment would last, so I cleared my schedule for the whole day. Do you mind if I stay with you or would you prefer to be alone now?”

She could tell he was trying hard to be nonchalant with his question, not wanting to sway her either way. It was charming. “It’ll be nice to have some time together.”

“Excellent! Now which did you want first? Nap or luncheon?”

“Food!”

“I will see to it immediately. I will not have you hungry on my watch.”

He rose to attend to his task, but she beckoned him to lean down so she could give him a sweet kiss. “Thank you, husband.”


	25. Chapter 25

Erna tried desperately to find a comfortable position. Although it was relatively early in the pregnancy, she already felt bulky and awkward every time she tried to settle into a seated position. Eventually, she gave up and climbed into bed, arranging the numerous pillows so that her back was supported.

"I wish I could ask you about these kinds of things, you know." She spoke to the empty room in a familiar tone. "The healers are wonderful, but it's so impersonal with them. And I'd love some insight into _him_. I know-"

"Who are you talking to?" Loki strode into the room, a look of confusion on his face as he began to remove his court clothes.

"I don't want a quarrel, Loki," she said softly. She was far too tired to engage in a war of words at this hour.

"Quarrel?"

"You've been in talks with the Vanir all day and late into the evening and that usually leaves you a bit cross."

The crease of concentration between his eyes softened and he approached her bedside with an expression of contrition. "If I've ever taken it out on you, I apologize." He took her hand and pressed a chaste kiss to it with a bow and a flourish that made her giggle. "That's more like it. You won't tell me who you were speaking to?"

"I don't know if it will make you angry or not."

"I will do my best to keep any bad feelings in check."

"I speak to your mother sometimes."

"My mother?"

"After hearing so much about her from you and Thor and Jane and the servants, I feel almost like I knew her. And now is a time I wish I had a mother to talk to, so I talk to her."

He nudged her over and took a seat on the edge of the bed, still holding her hand in his. "I wish I could talk to her too. You never knew yours."

"No. Apparently motherhood wasn't for her. I have no memories of her, so I kind of _borrowed_ yours. Just to have a mother to talk to. If I've upset you, I'm sorry."

"You haven't upset me, Erna. Sometimes you worry far too much about me and not enough about yourself. If you speak to her again, call her Mother. She would like that." He peered at her searchingly, expression unreadable. "She would have liked you too. I'm sure of it."

"That's probably the best compliment you've ever paid me." That left him uncharacteristically at a loss for words. He stood and resumed removing his ceremonial garb. "Do you need any help?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "No, little one. You stay comfortable where you are."

"Loki?" Emboldened by his reaction to her chats with Frigga, she decided to ask a question that had been nagging at her.

"Hmm?"

"Would you be more comfortable if... I mean would it be easier for you if you didn't have to maintain your illusion all the time?"

He froze in place, cloak only half unfastened. "We’ve discussed this before. I don't want to frighten you, Erna."

"Why would that frighten me? I've seen frost giants before. I understand why you keep up the glamor at court, lest you remind the Asgardians they're ruled by a son of Jotunheim, but there's no need to expend extra energy with me." She took a steadying breath and sat up straighter. "I am your wife. There's no need to pretend on my account."

"You've never seen it." The sad tone made her heart ache a bit.

"No, I haven't. It won't bother me, if that's what you're worried about."

"I'd rather not see the look of revulsion on your face."

"You won't. I'm not some shallow, vapid girl. I am your wife," she repeated. "You should be able to be yourself around me of all people."

"You say that without having actually seen how repulsive I truly am."

"Would you think your child repulsive if she takes after you?"

"Of course not!" He paused, taking in her words. "She?"

"I have a feeling it's a girl. I don't know why, I just do. And there's a good chance she'll look like her father and I want you to make peace with that." He stared at her in shock, as if she'd just divulged a painful secret. "You're not a monster, Loki," she whispered softly.

"You don't know everything."

"And neither do you!" She looked down at her hands and took a deep breath. "I never told you about my snow elf.”

She let the statement hang in the air between them before continuing. The old familiar ache intensified at the thought of telling him, but it was time he knew. “I was very young, very naive, and very in love. She was an alchemist's apprentice and I wanted nothing more in the world than to marry her. She had this dusky blue skin, so different than my own, but so very beautiful. I thought she was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen."

"What happened?"

"My father found out."

"And he forbade you from seeing her again?"

"No, it was so much worse than that.” She steeled herself for the next part. Even after years it still pained her to think about it, let alone speak about. “He bought her off. He offered her a minor title and a parcel of land far in the north and she took it without even saying goodbye. Nothing has ever hurt me that much."

"I'm so sorry, Erna."

"I didn't tell you this for your pity. I just want you to know that I'm not put off by... otherness." He didn't reply, so she continued in a lighter tone. "I won't pressure you, but I just wanted to make you the offer and give you a reason to trust me."

"It's not that I don't trust you. It's just that I... I can't show that to you. I don't even like to acknowledge that side of me."

He didn’t speak again until he’d slipped into bed beside her. “I don’t think she’ll look anything like a frost giant. We conceived when I was in this form.”

“Would it be that horrible if she did?”

“Not horrible, but I’d have to cloak her in an illusion. It wouldn’t be safe for her otherwise.”

“I’m sorry you’re not able to show the people your true self. They’re stupid if they didn’t see that you’re the same person, whatever your skin may look like.”

He tucked her in beside him and placed a hand on her stomach. “It’s a harsh lesson and one I hope she doesn’t have to learn so young. But I _do_ hope she’s as kind and wise as her mother.” He extinguished the bedside lamp and they were left in the weak light of the dying fire.

“But hopefully without her mother’s tempestuous nature?”

“I’d be more than happy with a little carbon copy of you, temper and all.”

She felt his lips brush across the back of her neck and it sent a hot jolt of desire down her spine. When he fell back into position without further contact, she sighed inwardly. He hadn’t ventured beyond kissing her since they’d confirmed the pregnancy and it was starting to frustrate her. She knew the pregnant form wasn’t to every man’s liking, but she’d secretly hoped Loki wouldn’t be one of them. And then when he demonstrated his ability to turn off his desire for her like the twist of a tap, it hurt more than she’d expected.

“Are you upset our first is a girl?” This was another fear, but one she didn’t stop herself from voicing.

“It matters not to me. I’m more marveling at the fact that you’re so sure it’s female.”

“Call it mother’s intuit-” her words were stopped by a fierce yawn.

“Rest now, little elf. If our child is anything like you, she’ll be firebrand and we won’t get a decent night’s sleep once she comes.”


	26. Chapter 26

One evening, Loki found her reading by the fire in their chambers. "Dinner was deadly dull without you," he said by way of a greeting.

"I'm sorry I missed it. Did you give the trade delegation my regrets?"

"I did indeed. It's not fair that you were able to get out of dinner and I had to go." He sounded petulant, but she knew he was just teasing her. He briefly moved her outstretched legs and sat down, repositioning her feet over his lap.

"You don't have a child growing inside of you making it feel like your stomach is very cross with you."

His face softened and he leaned over to place a kiss on her distended abdomen. "Would you like me to fetch the healers for you?"

"They came and went earlier, but thank you. They're not even really sure it's the baby, but I think otherwise."

"Why?"

"I feel fine until I go to eat something and then I get violently ill. And I just have this feeling that she doesn't want whatever I'm having. It's just a feeling, but it's a strong one. The healers think I'm being fanciful. It's actually quite entertaining to see them struggle to say as much without calling the queen an outright nitwit."

He chuckled, picturing the scene, and began to rub one of her bare feet. "Mmmmm. That feels better than it has any right to." Although only five months in, she already looked close to full term and the host of late pregnancy issues were already rearing their ugly heads. She was swollen and achy and fatigued almost all the time now.

"Has the swelling lessened any?"

"Some. If I don't move around too much, but I can't stay cooped up in this room until the baby comes. I'd go mad. Plus, if I stop the little bit of walking I'm still able to do, I'm likely to need a tent maker as my tailor."

He stopped the massage and studied her face. The grim set of her mouth told him she wasn't merely joking. "You have no idea how radiant you look, do you?"

"Radiant? That word must have a separate meaning in Asgard."

"I swore I'd never lie to you, Erna. You are beautiful and you have been at every stage of this. I wish I was able to demonstrate to you how physically pleasing I still find you." The lascivious look he wore made it clear what such a demonstration would entail.

"And what's stopping you, if not my appearance?"

"I don't want to hurt the baby." He seemed genuinely aghast at the question.

"What makes you think you'd hurt the baby?"

"I thought that sex of any kind was hazardous to the child during pregnancy." Managing to look both defiant and curious, he peered back at her.

"Where in the nine realms did you hear that?" She sat up straighter and glared at him incredulously.

"Thor told me when we were boys."

"And you really think young _Thor_ was an authority on pregnancy? How cruel it would be to have a woman unable to participate and yet constantly desire sex."

"Constantly?"

"Close to it."

"I've been keeping my lustful thoughts to myself for months because I listened to something idiotic my brother told me when we were children?"

"He wasn't completely wrong. We do have to be careful near the end, but it's still possible." She looked down and studied the pattern of the blanket draped over her. "I thought it was because you no longer desired me. Or that you only ever lay with me to do your duty."

"Erna, look at me." She did as he bade, face set in sad defiance, prepared for confirmation of what she suspected. "We talked about the need for an heir when we began this arrangement."

"I know. I'm just being silly. Probably my hormones or some-"

"You didn't let me finish. Politically it's advantageous to have a child with you, but I desire you for more than just your womb. You are entirely captivating, Erna. I'm enjoying this more than I ever thought was possible."

"I... I am too." His confession floored her. He was rarely cold towards her, but he'd never outright admitted this either. A warm feeling of contentment spread across her chest.

"In fact, given the new information at my disposal, I would like to enjoy you _completely_ tonight. If you’re up to it that is.”

She nodded eagerly, unable to trust that her voice wouldn’t break. The distance Loki had put between them had hurt her more than she ever cared to admit. Even knowing now that it came from a misunderstanding, it still left her emotional just thinking about it. So she’d push such negative thoughts away and focus on the joy of it.

Somehow, despite her bulky shape, Loki lifted her into his arms with no apparent effort. He could just be acting for the sake of her feelings, but it made her feel better all the same.

When he placed her on their bed, it was with the utmost care. "Loki, I'm not going to break."

"Your body has changed, little one, and no matter how much you protest, you are more fragile than before. I won't apologize for treating you as such."

"I don't think you've really seen how much it has changed." She was suddenly nervous, more so than she'd ever been when they came together before.

"Then you've taken no notice of my sideways glances. I've watched you closer than you realize, Erna. I meant it when I said you were radiant. You've always been beautiful to me, but now it's like you've bloomed into an entirely different kind of beauty."

She swallowed hard, a bit overwhelmed by his words. "I... thank you."

"I wish you'd have mentioned your apprehensions sooner, little one. We could have worked all this out long before now and I could have dedicated my nights to helping you appreciate your new shape." He gave her a smile that was equal parts mischief and lust. "I'll just have to try and make up for lost time."

In an instant her robe and gown were gone. It always amazed her how easily it was done. She didn't even feel the tug of fabric; it was like the garments simply turned to vapor and dissipated.

Despite his assertion that he'd kept a close eye on her, his sharp intake of breath said otherwise. It made her pulse race. The single word he uttered in response left her in no doubt as to his sincerity. "Gorgeous."

In a flash, he was beside her, his own clothes gone now too. His hands were suddenly everywhere it seemed, roving over her flesh, as if trying to memorize her new curves. Physically he may be treating her carefully, but when his lips crushed against hers, she saw that his kisses were no less heated than they usually were.

He pulled her back against his chest. “If you’re ever uncomfortable, let me know immediately, little one. I mean it.” It wasn’t a request.

She simply nodded and relaxed into him as his hands continued to move over her skin. He traced his mouth along her neck as he worked, eventually latching onto her pulse point, making her moan with pleasure. It had been such a long time since they’d enjoyed each other this way. She felt like an impatient teenager, wet and waiting with minimal prompting.

Finally, he gently hitched her leg up and back over him, allowing him better access. He lined up against her entrance and began to slide in slowly and carefully.

Once fully seated, he murmured, “You have no idea how much I missed this, missed you.”

“Loki, I appreciate how sweet you’re being, but my hormones are on high alert and we haven’t had sex in months. I’m going to need you to get to it before I combust.”

With only a nip at her earlobe as confirmation, he began to move. She could tell he wanted to keep it slow at first, but at her urging (and begging) he picked up his pace. And as if she wasn’t ready enough, he reached around and began rubbing her clit in time with his thrusts.

It would have been embarrassing how quickly she came if it was anyone else but him. She knew Loki would understand and probably even took great pride in the affect he had on his wife. When she felt him spill inside her only moments after her own orgasm was over, she knew he was in the same situation. Oddly, that made her feel better about the whole thing.

Moving her again as if she weighed nothing, he rearranged them once they’d both gotten their breathing back to normal. She curled up with her head on his chest, awash with feelings of relief and contentment. She hadn’t truly admitted to herself how hurt she’d been at his lack of physical attention. Now she was so relieved she almost wanted to cry.

"You know," Loki's chest rumbled beneath her cheek as he spoke, "if you didn't look so utterly ravished and exhausted, I would invite you to bathe with me. But I fear you need to rest now, little queen."

"I'm not exactly little right now, husband."

"You barely come up to my shoulder. Our child will probably be born taller than its mother."

" _Her_ mother, thank you." She stuck her tongue out at him. "I can't help it that I married a giant." His eyes clouded over at her inopportune word choice. She rushed on, "but you're _my_ giant and I shall have to endure being shorter than you for the next several thousand years. My only hope is that old age brings you closer to my height. Or I employ stilts."

"You'll do no such thing. I don't want you breaking your neck just to be taller than me." She breathed an internal sigh of relief when the humor returned to his tone.

"At least in bed my stature is of no consequence."

"How very true. I must remember that. And on a related note, I must have _words_ with my brother for unnecessarily depriving me of my wife for months."

"You're partially to blame for believing the words of a young boy. But you can go contemplate creative ways to express your ire with him while you bathe."

"Are you ejecting me from our bed?" he demanded in tones of mocked outrage.

“Temporarily. I want some tea before bed. If you make it quick I may be able to wait up for you."

"As my queen commands."

When he returned half an hour later, the pale, sweaty countenance that greeted him was a shock. "Erna, are you all right?"

"She didn't want tea," she managed weakly. "But I kept a few sips down, which is progress."

"Not enough progress for my liking. The healers had better offer you a remedy tomorrow." He all but growled his words, but the concern on his face was unmistakable. As loath as he would be to admit it, Odin had rubbed off on him if the stories of the former king were to be believed.

"I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning, Loki."

"I certainly hope so." He leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead before retreating to the doorway. "I have matters that still need attending to. Please get some rest."

"Will you stay with me?" The question came out marginally slurred with fatigue and he realized that she'd only stayed awake waiting for him to join her in bed. The tousled waves surrounding her earnest face couldn't be more alluring if arranged by an artist painting a portrait.

He cleared his throat, temporarily overwhelmed with his affection for her. While not an unfamiliar sentiment, the strength of it at that moment surprised him. "Of course, if you want me to."

"I always want you to."

She barely stayed awake long enough for him to settle into position beside her. All he got in the way of a goodnight, was a small satisfied grunt when his hand slid around her and settled on her stomach. The day hadn't gone to plan in several ways, something that usually led to a thunderous mood, but he no longer cared about the tedious dinner or the crop report he'd intended to finish that night. He was content to enjoy the feel of his wife beside him as he drifted off to sleep.

**-XXX-**

Terrible dreams beset her as she slumbered. Scene after scene of normal palace life would descend into chaos and violence and each time she was forced to witness it, all participants deaf to her wails of torment. Banquets devolved into brutal brawls, the royal court into a debate that quickly turned murderous. Over and over she watched as her family, friends, servants, and strangers alike tore each other to pieces while she stood helpless to prevent it.

When she finally woke, she felt almost as exhausted as she had when she went to sleep. It took several minutes before she felt able to even open her heavy eyes. She was more than a little surprised to spot Loki seated in a nearby chair rather than beside her in bed. He looked as if he had slept as badly as she did.

"I'm sorry to have slept so long." Her throat croaked the words out, dry and harsh. For a moment he stared at her in shocked silence before bolting out of the chair and into the hallway. She heard him shouting for a healer and wondered what had upset him so.

Almost immediately, the elder healer, face set in stern lines Erna knew well, bustled into the room with the king in tow.

"How do you feel, my queen?"

"Tired, but I don't believe I need your assistance. I just slept badly and I fear the king is more worried about me than he should be."

"You've been asleep for four days!" His voice boomed around the room and she saw clearly how truly upset he was. He continued in a more subdued, but still intense tone, "I couldn't rouse you. Nobody could. We had no idea if you'd ever wake again."

"Four days?" She prayed she'd misheard him. "How is that possible?"

Eir answered in her matter-of-fact way, "Poison."

"I don't understand," she said weakly. Although now that she’d recovered more of her senses, she knew it to be true. She was dressed in a gown that she hadn’t worn when they’d gone to sleep and she felt the gnaw of hunger only present after many days without proper food.

"Someone put poison into the tea you had before bed." Loki explained it in dispassionate tones, but she could see the anger seething just below the surface.

Eir turned to the king and spoke, ignoring Erna. "I don't believe she'll have any ill effects, but she needs to eat. Something much more substantive than the broth we were able to get into her as she slumbered."

"Show me how to accomplish that without subjecting my wife to another dose of poison and I'll gladly comply with your prescription." He didn't bother to disguise the venom in his words.

“Would you help me up, Loki?”

“I wouldn’t advise that,” Eir still spoke directly to Erna’s husband, a fact that would certainly bother her when she thought about it later. “She’s likely to be very weak.”

“Please?” She made her request directly to her husband. “I feel like I need to move around.”

“I won’t let her fall,” he asserted.

Gingerly, he supported her as she rose from the bed and walked over to the fireplace. It took a tremendous effort of will just to make the dozen or so steps, but the labor felt mostly good. Some of the vestiges of stupor fell away and she felt more like herself.

“That’s far enough for now.” He whispered it in her ear as she felt him pull her back against his chest, one arm closing protectively across her. “I’ve got you, darling.” It wasn’t the first time he’d ever used such a moniker with her, but it was a rarity all the same. She’d noticed that he was always careful to address her by her name or the title of wife or queen, and in private teasing her about her short stature. Fanciful pet names weren’t generally his style. Nevertheless, she felt the fingers of his free hand twine with hers and he squeezed reassuringly.

They faced the healer as a pair, a cohesive unit. It felt good to be with him this way. Ever since she’d gotten pregnant it had felt like she was some breakable thing he’d wanted to protect, rather than a partner that stood with him.

“Immediately, she’ll need food and rest as the toxin continues to work out of her system.”

“ _She_ is your queen and can be addressed directly.” Ah, so Erna hadn’t been the only one to notice Eir’s borderline rude behavior.

“Yes of course, your majesty.” The healer’s cold eyes met Erna’s. “My queen, you must find a way to eat if the child is to stay healthy.”

“Of course. Thank you for watching over me as I slept. Please thank your whole team for me, until I can speak to each of them myself.”

“Yes, my queen.” The slight bow of her head was a major concession, likely borne of the woman’s fear of her king.

"Leave us." He all but spat the words in disgust. Eir couldn’t seem to leave fast enough. Erna found a small measure of amusement and couldn’t be bothered to feel guilty for it.

As soon as they were alone, he relaxed against her and buried his face in her hair. "I was so frightened," he managed in a weak voice.

“I’m sorry to have caused you distress, Loki. I truly am, but although I'm very tired and very hungry, I'm fine overall."

“You wouldn’t be in this position if I hadn’t failed you. I should have known someone was planning something like this. I should have protected you, protected our child.” The pain evident in his voice made her grateful she couldn’t see the hurt and fear etched on his normally implacable face.

“Contrary to what the Midgardians think, you aren’t actually an omniscient god, Loki. I don’t blame you for what someone else has wrought.” She moved their joined hands to her belly and pressed his palm onto the bulge. “She’s fine, kicking like the little warrior she is.”

“Her mother’s more of a warrior than I ever imagined,” he said softly.

They stood in silence for several minutes. Occasionally, Loki would kiss her shoulder or neck, as if reassuring himself she was still there. Her thoughts swirled, trying to fully understand the situation. But despite the very real danger she found herself in, his presence was incredibly reassuring. Between the three of them they would find a solution to the problem, she was sure of it.

Eventually, he walked her back to the bed and propped her up into a seated position. “I’m off to prepare some food for you. You have four guards out front, but don’t let anyone in until I return.”

“Yes, husband.” She smiled up at him, barely suppressing a laugh.

“And what is it that you find so amusing, little elf?”

“The picture of you tromping through the kitchen trying to cook and likely terrifying all the servants.”

“One, I do not _tromp_. Two, I only go in disguise. I don’t want anyone to know we’ve discovered the plot to try and poison you. I’ve sworn Eir and her women to secrecy. Nobody knows that a timid little Halfrida is preparing food for the queen.”

The lengths he’d gone to protect her seemed a bit extreme, but weren’t surprising. When Loki hatched a plan, he was single-minded in his pursuit of it. She knew better than to try and dissuade him. “You are exceedingly clever.”

The blush that stained his cheeks was so uncharacteristic that she almost commented on it, but then she saw how uncomfortable praise made him. It hurt her to see this larger than life figure reduced to embarrassed silence at being called clever. Silently, she vowed to compliment her husband as often as he warranted it and that he’d one day get used to it.

"I don’t feel clever right now. I've had four days to find those responsible for this treason and I've yet to identify a single conspirator. The only reason I felt able to feed you the broth is that I prepared it myself. I swear to you, Erna, that I will find who did this and make them wish death was good enough for them."

"Please, Loki, I saw enough death in my dreams. I’d settle for a meal right now.”

His brow furrowed in a silent question, but he didn’t give voice to it. “Of course. I’ll be back as quick as I can.” He kissed her softly and was gone before she had a chance to reply.


	27. Chapter 27

When he returned an hour later she didn’t care that the chicken was overcooked and the potatoes _under_ cooked. She tore through the food with reckless abandon, famished after days of nothing but broth. He’d also brought bread and fresh butter and the most delicious cider she’d ever had. Everything tasted wonderful when you were half-starved.

But rather than the sly smile she’d expected watching her consume everything he’d brought, he watched with a silent intensity. Taking a short break to drink and breathe, she commented, “Well, this will probably put you right off having sex with me ever again.”

“What?” He hadn’t seemed to have processed her words.

“This gluttonous display of mine. My manners aren’t exactly queenly as I’m shoving food into my maw.”

“I’m just happy you’re eating, Erna. Don’t talk nonsense. I’ll share your bed as long as you want me to, in whatever capacity you allow.”

She noticed although he focused intently on her, he also seemed distracted. “Loki, what’s troubling you?”

“Someone tried to kill you.”

“I think it’s more than that.”

He stood and went to stoke the logs in the fireplace. “Eat your food, Erna.”

“It _is_ something else. Loki, what aren’t you telling me?”

“Eat and then we can talk.”

“That’s not ominous at all.” If she hadn’t still been hungry, she would have insisted they talk then and there, but she relented to his request.

It was only the work of a few more minutes to finish and push the empty tray aside. “I’ve cleaned my plate. Now talk.”

“You mumbled while you were asleep.” He made it sound like he was divulging a devastating secret.

“And I said something that upset you?”

“Yes. It was before I’d realized your slumber wasn’t natural. I thought you were just sleeping later than usual.” He continued to prod the logs with a poker, as if enthralled with the activity. She guessed he wasn’t meeting her eyes for a reason and let him continue at his own pace. “I heard you say my name and then my brother’s. And then…” He cleared his throat, clearly affected by whatever came next. “And then you asked ‘why can’t he love me?’”

She felt cold and hot at the same time. A fierce blush blazed across her face while she got a chill sensation in her stomach. Her mind raced as she tried to come up with an explanation for him, when the realization finally hit her. She blurted out, “You think I spoke of Thor.”

Whirling around, he finally faced her, equal parts of anger and pain on his face. “Of course I do! What other conclusion could I make?”

For all his intelligence he could be stubbornly obtuse when it came to certain issues, his brother being one. She was relieved, however, that this was the only conclusion she had to explain away. “Loki, I was rambling in my sleep while drugged. And yet you look at me as if you found me in Thor’s bed! You have _no reason_ to be angry with me!”

“I’m not-”

“The hell you aren’t, Loki! I can see it in your eyes.” She stood on shaky legs, but was able to walk over to him without difficulty. “Do you honestly think I’m secretly in love with your brother?”

He shifted his gaze away again, but she wouldn’t have any of it. “No, you wanted to talk about this, so you’ll look me in the damn eye when I tell you this. You claim to know so much about people’s behavior and character, so study me all you want, Loki. I have _nothing_ but brotherly affection for Thor. Even if he wasn’t happily married, I am loyal to _you_. Have I given you any _real_ evidence to the contrary?”

“Erna, I…” The bereft expression on his face hurt her more than she cared to admit, but she refused to let that sway her course.

“ _You_ have a problem, Loki. You assume everyone prefers him to you and it’s not healthy. Is it not enough that I married _you_ that we’re having a child together? What will it take to convince you I’m not pining over your brother, that I didn’t _settle_ for you?”

For once, he didn’t have any words for her. The man who always had a retort, no matter the situation, was silent.

“Show me, Loki” She all but growled the words. “Show me your true form. I’m going to prove to you once and for all that you can trust me.”

“I _do_ trust you!” She steeled herself against the agony on his face. This was more important than that.

“Most of the time I believe that, but clearly that’s not always the case or you wouldn’t have brought up what I said in my sleep. I can see how much this bothers you so we’re going to have this out here and now. I’m not secretly lusting for Thor, nor will I be chased away by your Jotun form. The sooner you see that, the sooner we can move past this.”

“Erna, I told you I can’t.”

“How many times have you asked me to trust you? All I ask is you give me the same courtesy now.”

She saw fear, fury, and finally resignation cross his thin face. It pained her to be the cause of such emotion in him, but it was a necessary evil. She truly believed that.

Wordlessly, he nodded and she saw him begin to change. At first the color seemed to leech out of his skin, only to be replaced by a darker, cobalt hue. Thin, raised lines traced down his cheeks and swept across his forehead as his eyes turned a rich red. He let out a deep, shuddering breath when the transformation was complete. She could feel the cold radiating off him, as she had the night she’d surprised him.

Erna traced a finger along the ridges on his forehead, marveling at how different he looked and yet was still the same Loki she’d grown to know. She continued her study and still he stayed silent, eyes never leaving her face. But he didn’t actually make eye contact, probably prolonging the moment he feared above all else.

“Beautiful,” she breathed, coming even closer. “Why would you hide this version of yourself from me?”

“I… you don’t… I don’t disgust you?” His words were thick with emotion, but she was pleased to see his eyes finally seek hers. She saw hope there that almost broke her heart. He shouldn’t have to hope that she’d accept him like this. She’d wanted him to _know_ she would. But his past wasn’t a pleasant one and logically she had to understand that.

“No, not at all. This you is beautiful too. I told you before, and I still believe it to be true: you are _not_ a monster. Nothing you look like makes it so, nor does your past. I know you’ve not been a perfect person, but none of us have. You’ve atoned for what you could atone for and you’ve moved past the rest. I am just as proud to walk beside this version of you as I am the one all of Asgard sees.”

She stood on her toes and kissed him gently, with as much reverence as she could convey. The shock of his chilled lips against hers was a surprise, but not wholly unpleasant. Under more auspicious circumstances she’d have to gauge the charms of this new form, but that would have to wait until later.

His face screwed up in an emotion that looked remarkably like pain, eyes squeezed shut. She listened as his breath came out in a ragged sigh and saw the tension leave his body little by little. Sagging with something she took to be relief, he looked at her again. “I don’t deserve you. Even after this,” he motioned to himself, “even after I’ve failed you, you stand beside me, as steadfast as ever.”

“You didn’t fail me, Loki. Someone has chosen to do this to me, to us. Please stop blaming yourself for someone else’s treachery.” She took his hand and led him away from the fire. “You’ve fed me and now I need to rest. Wear that form to bed if you prefer it, but just take care that I don’t freeze in the night. I trust your magic can see to that task.”

“You don’t mind?” He seemed confused at the change of topic.

“If I minded, I wouldn’t have suggested it.” She’d realized that flowery promises weren’t what he needed in that moment. He needed her strength and acceptance more than anything else and she was pleased to give it to him. And as much as she wished to explore this new countenance, her body was too frail for such arduous activity. This was the best she could offer him. “I know it’s early, but I’m still so tired and I’d feel better if you joined me. Will you stay with me?”

The familiar request earned a smile from him. “If you wish it. I can weave a spell so you won’t feel or be affected by the cold I emit.”

“As long as it’s temporary. Your temperature will be a boon in the summer.”

The small quirk of his lips was gratifying. “You assume I’ll be your living, breathing ice block?”

“I’m looking forward to it.” She shot him a wink and slipped off her nightgown before climbing beneath the sheets. He made a few complicated gestures with his hands before disrobing and joining her. The arms that slipped around her felt slightly warmer than usual.

She ran her hands up and down his arm, finding the intricate patterns fascinating. “Would you really hide her if our child looks like this?”

“For her own safety, yes.”

“We’d have to explain it to her as soon as she was able to understand. And let her know that she is beautiful no matter what form she takes. I won’t have our child shamed.” There was fire in her words, a fierceness that he’d seen many times.

They settled into silence and he tried to still his mind. So much had happened in such a short span of time. And as much helpless rage as he felt over the attack on Erna, he felt relief too. She’d accepted him, _all_ of him and the burden of carrying the secret was gone. “Thank you,” he murmured into her hair. She squeezed his hand in return, burrowing closer to him with a contented sigh.


	28. Chapter 28

What her husband lacked in culinary prowess, he made up for in vigilance. For days she saw nobody but him and the healers, Loki spreading the story that she had a contagious stomach ailment to keep everyone away and to explain her absence. After four days, he’d already gone through his limited recipe repertoire several times, and they were both close to breaking. He grew angrier and angrier with himself for not finding the poisoner and she was starting to run out of nice things to say about finding toast on her plate- again.

When he strode into the room with a broad grin on his face and his hands behind his back, she should have known there would be trouble.

“I have a solution to our immediate problem,” he announced with a grin.

“As do I.” She was propped up in bed, trying and failing to concentrate on her cross-stitch. Her pronouncement stopped him from continuing with his explanation, but only momentarily.

“Excellent. Once you’ve been introduced to my idea, we’ll discuss yours.”

“Introduced?”

“Yes!” When he presented what he’d been concealing, she let out a squeal of delight.

“I don’t know what problem this solves, but I’m happy to go along with it.”

Smiling with satisfaction, he deposited the small furry mass in her outstretched hands. “This is your new companion.”

The little thing uncurled itself and leveled its feline glare at them for disturbing its slumber. For such a tiny kitten, it managed to look monumentally affronted at being woken up, until Erna began to stroke the patch of fur between its ears. She was rewarded with a purr of pleasure almost immediately. While still very young, it wasn’t the newborn she’d first taken it for, but it did seem small for its age. It was a beautiful steel gray color, with large luminous amber eyes very like her own. She transferred the now content kitten to her ample stomach and the little thing promptly curled up and went back to sleep.

When she looked back up at her husband, he looked excessively pleased with himself. “Thank you, Loki. I’ve been so bored cooped up in our rooms, this will be a welcome distraction.” She’d never been allowed to have pets as a child, her father always lamenting how destructive they were every time she asked. Now she felt a surge of pleasure at yet another reminder that she was no longer under his control.

“It’s more than a distraction.”

“How so?”

“This,” he motioned to the gray ball nestled on her abdomen, “is your new food taster.”

This time he looked so satisfied with himself that she wanted to shake the look off of his thin face. Instead, she decided to do so verbally with a vehement reply. “It most certainly is not!” At this burst of noise, the kitten toppled off its perch and landed with a soft _thunk_ beside Erna. It looked at both of them in turn before attempting to return to its nap.

“Would you prefer a puppy?”

“You think making a defenseless animal check my food for poison is a good idea?” The horror she felt at this suggestion was more than apparent.

“Originally, yes. But I’m rethinking that based on your reaction.” He took a tentative step towards her. “I’ll just take the cat back, shall I?”

“You will do no such thing! I will keep the kitten, but I refuse to put it or anyone else in harm’s way.” She absently began stroking the kitten again, before glaring back up at her husband. When she saw his crestfallen expression, her anger abated some. “Loki,” she began in as conciliatory a tone as she could muster, “it’s very sweet that you want to protect me, but this isn’t the way. I agree that our current situation is less than satisfactory, but I won’t sacrifice anyone else’s wellbeing for my own, animal or otherwise.”

“I don’t know what else to do! You can’t stay healthy on boiled eggs and toast alone!” He ran a hand through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh.

“That’s where my idea comes in.”

“Your idea?”

“Yes, before you distracted me with this adorable little puff of fur, I wanted to discuss it with you.”

“At least you find my gift suitable in one way,” he grumbled.

“I may have a temporary solution, but I need you to ensure a message is delivered first.” She took an envelope from the nightstand and handed it to him.

“Heimdall? What plan of yours requires a message to Heimdall?”

“One that I beg you to let me fully explain when the time is right. If you dispatch a messenger right away, I should be able to explain everything soon.”

“And what’s to stop me from reading this note right now?” By his tone, she could tell he was actually considering it.

“Trust. If you trust me, you’ll give me until tonight.”

He held her gaze for several moments, eyes searching hers in obvious confusion. She saw the struggle on his face and silently waited for him to decide. When he nodded slowly, she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

“Fine. Tonight.” He’d agreed, but didn’t seem at all happy about it. Without further word, he stalked from their room, letter in hand.

**-XXX-**

Late in the afternoon, she sent a short note to Loki.

> _Loki,_
> 
> _Everything should be ready to explain at seven this evening. I’ll be waiting for you in our chambers. I’m sorry to be so cryptic, but I truly feel that it’s necessary. I hope you know how grateful I am to have you._
> 
> _Your wife_

He seemed contrite when he poked his head around their bedroom door early that evening. “Am I meant to stay out until the appointed hour?”

“Loki, I didn’t banish you!”

“I’m sorry for my rude exit earlier. I wasn’t sure if you were cross with me.” He entered the room and took a chair beside the bed, happy to see the kitten was still with her. “Have you named her?”

“Syn,” she replied with a smile.

“After the famous guardian?”

“I thought it appropriate. Though I may not have condoned your original plan, you intended her to protect me.”

He nudged the furry lump and snorted derisively. “Funny, she doesn’t look to be a very keen guard.”

The kitten yowled at the intrusion and bared her teeth at Loki. “She’s tiny, but I think she’ll be a fine protector. Thank you, husband.”

“Will you speak to me of this plan of yours?”

“Not yet, but I have other matters to discuss with you first.”

His expression was guarded, likely not happy he was being denied information yet again. “By all means, little elf. Let’s talk about something other than the treasonous plot to murder you.”

She didn’t rise to the bait, knowing his frustration was borne out of helplessness at their current situation. “It’s related to that. I want to tell you something and I want you to… I don’t want you to discount what I have to say off hand. Can you try?”

“Anything for my maddeningly cryptic wife.”

“I’ll just thank you and move on, shall I?” He nodded, still getting an eye roll in where she could see it, but stayed silent. “I think the baby was trying to protect me from the poison.”

“Erna, I know you had some vivid dreams, but-”

She cut him off before he could get any further. “You said you’d try! I haven’t dreamed this, Loki.”

“I apologize. Please continue.” She could see it was a strain for him to remain this conciliatory, so she plowed ahead while he still deigned to humor her.

“She was making me ill. Of this I’m completely certain. I thought it was just a strong feeling, but now I believe it to be more. Most women experience cravings while they’re with child, many for foods they wouldn’t otherwise eat. The child has a strange effect on the mother’s body. But instead of a craving it’s the opposite. She wants the offending item out of me as quickly as possible. She gives me no trouble when you’ve prepared my food, because it’s safe. I think if I were to eat something tainted I would be ill, just as I was before.”

“But it doesn’t explain why you eventually succumbed to the poison.”

“But it does! I fought her, for lack of a better way to put it. I got that tea and it took a tremendous effort of will, but I was able to keep it down. If she would have had her way, I would have vomited it up just like the rest of the food.”

“That would mean someone has consistently been slipping something into your food. For _days_ before you fell ill.”

“I believe so, yes.”

“And you truly think our daughter… that she… _protected_ you in this way.”

She wrapped her arms over her stomach, as if hugging the child growing there. “I do, Loki. I’m confident. It’s the same kind of feeling that she’s a girl. I just _know_.”

“It doesn’t make any sense. I’ve never heard of anything like this.”

“I could prove it to you.”

“Absolutely not,” he boomed, startling her with the vehemence in his voice. He stood so quickly his chair clattered to the ground. “I can see where you’re going and we are _not_ going to test the theory.” She noted how he clenched and unclenched his hands, knuckles white with the strain.

“Then I need you to trust me on this. I’ve never been more certain of anything.” Reaching out and taking one of his hands, she waited until his eyes again met hers. “Loki, I know she likes it when you speak to her when you think I’m asleep. I know she detests olives, poison or no, and I know which lullabies are her favorite. I can _feel_ it. There have to be things in this world that you know to be the absolute truth that you couldn’t prove to others if asked.”

He scanned her amber eyes, looking for something that made sense, but all he saw was her certainty. Nothing could prove this to him, well, nothing he was willing to try at any rate. It simply wasn’t worth the risk to Erna to prove her theory right or wrong.

“Please, Loki,” she asked in a small voice.

“All right. I believe you.” She sagged in relief, laying back against the cushions. “But how does that help us with our problem? Unless she can point to your would-be murderer, it doesn’t change anything.”

“We can talk more once our visitors arrive.”

“Visitors? Is this part of your grand plan?”

“It is. And I know it’s killing you to wait until I’m ready to talk about it. I appreciate the consideration you’re giving me.”

“For some reason I find myself willing to be more patient with you than with anyone in all the nine realms.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. Would you walk me out to the balcony while we wait? I’d like to stretch my legs.”

She heard him mutter under his breath about it being all he was good for, but he helped her to her feet without further comment. Once upright, she waggled a finger at him, beckoning him to lean down. “What is it, little elf?”

Once he was close enough, she gave him a deep, slow kiss before explaining. “My balance is a bit precarious these days. I wanted to kiss you without running the risk of endangering my equilibrium. Now if you’d be so kind, escort me to the balcony.”

“As the queen demands.”


	29. Chapter 29

Their visitors found them enjoying the twilight almost an hour later. They hadn’t spoken much since she told him her theory, but it wasn’t an unpleasant silence. Loki kept finding reasons to keep contact with her, which she found oddly endearing. He usually wasn’t what she’d consider physically needy, but since the attempted attack, he’d been much more demonstrative of his affection. It was nice.

She knew it was the calm before the storm, because Loki probably wouldn’t be disposed to going along with her plan. Throughout the day she’d gone over the arguments again and again, ensuring that she could make a strong case. Although more emotional than usual, she thought she could count on him to be ultimately reasonable.

But when his arm tightened around her shoulders at the appearance of their guests, she knew it would likely be a long, drawn out debate. Where Loki saw a potential threat, she only saw allies. For her, the sight of Thor, Jane, and Heimdall was a most welcome one.

“I see there is much my wife didn’t tell me,” he drawled.

She ignored the jibe and went to greet the party. “Thank you all for responding to my summons. I appreciate you coming with nothing but my word that it was important.”

“So they don’t know what’s going on either?”

“No, Loki, they don’t. I’ll explain everything, but I’m afraid I’ll have to do so from bed. I’m fatigued again.”

She managed to stave off any more questions until she was tucked back into her nest of pillows and blankets. The others pulled up chairs around the bed, Heimdall looking confused at being treated as an equal to a king, queen, prince, and princess. She could tell he’d rather stand guard, but she insisted he sit. She counted him as much an ally as the others.

Finally Thor broke the silence. “Sister, what has happened? I’m pleased to find you’re expecting, but I suspect we weren’t asked to come for that reason alone.”

“No. I knew Loki and I could trust the three of you and what I’m about to tell you, I do so because of that trust. Several days ago I was poisoned. We know that whoever wishes to do me harm has been drugging my food. I succumbed to a very small amount of the poison and was rendered unconscious for four days. So far Loki has been able to keep that information secret, but the threat has not been found.”

“I have seen nothing of this plot, my queen,” Heimdall interjected. “I have failed you.”

“Nobody has failed me! Not you, not Loki, nobody. This is the work of people who wish to do me harm and have gone to a great deal of trouble to do so. Nobody is infallible and I blame only those who perpetrated this scheme. Castigating ourselves will do no good.” Her words were as much for Loki as for Heimdall. She knew he blamed himself for not stopping the culprit by now.

“Erna, what can we do?” Jane was already focused on the problem and what could be done to solve it. Never had she been more grateful for the woman’s scientific mind.

“I think I should go to Midgard for a while. Would you be willing to host me?”

Everyone began to talk at once, and she could see the helpless anger cloud her husband’s face. It pained her to see him so upset at the prospect of her leaving, but she wouldn’t let it deter her from her course.

She had to shout to be heard over the din. “Please listen to what else I have to say!” The chatter died down, but Loki left his seat and began pacing at the foot of the bed. “As far as we know, the people responsible for the attacks on me don’t know that we are aware of the plot. Loki has done an admirable job letting everyone know I’ve been ill with a stomach ailment. And per my instructions, Heimdall has seen you two into Asgard in complete secrecy.” She turned to Loki and addressed him directly. “If I am safe in Midgard you and Heimdall can devote all your resources to finding those behind the conspiracy. You wouldn’t have to worry about my safety.”

“If you think for one second I wouldn’t be worried sending you to another realm-”

“Loki,” she stopped him before he could get a good rant going, “I know none of this is ideal, but if you didn’t have to waste time preparing my food and watching me at all hours, wouldn’t you be able to launch a proper investigation?”

Thor answered instead of his brother, Loki choosing to scowl at her rather than respond. “He’s preparing your food?”

“We have no other recourse. Right now the number of people we can trust is pitiably small. Loki has been disguising himself and preparing all my meals, something that can’t go on forever.”

“I will do so as long as it takes,” he retorted.

“And I’m grateful for that, truly I am, but we cannot keep this up indefinitely. I have to take myself out of the equation if any progress is to be made.”

“You’re welcome to our spare bedroom as long as you need it.” Erna could have hugged Jane for focusing on the practicalities.

“So it’s settled.” She spoke more to Jane than anyone else.

“It most certainly is not!” As expected, Loki wouldn’t concede without a fight.

Thankfully, Thor rallied to her side. “Brother, your Erna is right. I know it wouldn’t be your first choice, but we will protect her while you hunt for those that wish to do her harm. I can even stay in Asgard if you wish and aid you.”

“I don’t need any help to keep my family safe,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Loki,” Erna appealed to him directly. “I know you’ll do everything within your power to protect me, but getting help from our friends isn’t an admission of weakness.” She wished she could have this part of the conversation with him alone, but they didn’t have the luxury of time. When he didn’t protest further, she continued. “I’m confident that the culprit’s reach doesn’t extend to Midgard. This would simply be taking me out of play and allowing you to work uninterrupted.”

A storm of emotion crossed Loki’s face at her words and she realized they would have to discuss this further in private if she was to win him to her side. “Heimdall, the suite next to ours is empty and ready for guests. Could you give us a moment?”

“Of course, my queen.” He stood and gestured to Jane and Thor. “Your majesties, I will accompany you to your chambers.”

Both Thor and Jane hugged her before they left, but in a matter of minutes she found herself alone with Loki.

“Please don’t be angry with me.” He still stood restlessly and wouldn’t look at her.

“You… I…” He ran a hand through his hair and seemed at a loss for words, which was a rarity for him. “Why must you do this?”

“Loki, try to look at this through impartial eyes. This is the wisest course I can see.”

“What if SHIELD tries to use you to lure me to Midgard? What if something goes wrong with the bifrost and you’re trapped there? What if you go into labor early?” The anguish on his face made her ache, but she had to steel herself and think of the greater plan. Sentimentality wouldn’t save them.

“I can’t give you any guarantees, but I do know Thor will do everything in his power to keep me safe. And we can call to Heimdall to return me if something goes amiss.”

“I don’t like it.”

“I’m sure nothing about our circumstance is optimal. And I don’t like leaving any more than you do, but we have to resolve this before the baby comes. Surely you see that?”

“I can’t protect you if you’re not here.”

“But Loki, don’t you see? That’s all you’d be focused on if I stay. I’m a liability at this point.”

“Don’t _ever_ think of yourself that way, Erna.” The raw conviction in his words startled her. “I would defend you both to the death.”

The emotion behind his words moved her, but she couldn’t allow it to cloud her judgment. “I don’t want it to come to that. Ever. If I remove myself from things then you’re able to focus on finding who is responsible for this. I won’t lie, Loki, not when it’s just the two of us. I want whoever endangered the life of our daughter to pay. And if I could help you, I would, but I’m in no fit state to do so.”

He seemed to deflate before her eyes, finally succumbing to her logic. “You won’t take any undue risks?”

“Do I look like I’m able to do much more than loll around the house?”

He ignored her glib response, eyes burning into hers. “I cannot lose you, Erna, either of you. You must promise me you’ll keep yourself safe.”

“I swear, Loki.”

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Hot tears pooled in her eyes at the sound of this request. She was usually the one making such an appeal. Nothing in her wanted to deny him this.

“I would love to. We can leave in the morning.” He stalked back over to her and his arms closed around her. But despite any external danger, she felt safe. “I wouldn’t leave unless I thought it was truly necessary.” The tears began to flow as she relaxed into his body. She’d held it together and stayed strong in front of their friends, but now she wanted to acknowledge how upset she truly was.

“Shh. I know. I don’t have to revel in it, but I know this is what’s probably best. I’m not upset with you, little one. You understand that, right?”

She nodded, catharsis from her tears mixed with a measure of apprehension. Knowing this was the wisest course and feeling pleased about it were two different things entirely, Loki was right about that. “Promise you won’t do anything reckless in finding who’s responsible?”

“You won’t be rid of me that easily, my queen.”

She surprised him when her arms tightened around his waist in an almost painful grip. “Don’t you ever say something like that! I’ll never want to be rid of you. Never.” Sobs overcame her body as she clung even tighter to him. “Don’t even joke,” she managed through the tears.

The conviction in her words caught him off guard, so he simply held her until the tears stopped. He had half a mind to ask what had agitated her so, but if the answer had something to do with pregnancy hormones, he knew he didn’t want to hear it. At least for the time being he could pretend it was something else.

When the soft sniffles abated, he put her at arm’s length and looked into her red-rimmed eyes. “How about we both promise to keep ourselves safe until we’re together again?”

“Okay,” she managed weakly. “Loki, I’m sorry I-”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Erna. Nothing. I’ll do whatever I can to ensure you can come back to a safe home.”

The fatigue etched in her face told him she’d had enough excitement for the time being. She needed to rest if she was to travel to Midgard the next day. “Get settled back in bed and I’ll go next door to let everyone know we’ve decided on a course. While I’m out, I’ll fetch some tea and those little cakes you like.”

He waited until she made it back to the bed before transforming into the now-familiar form of Halfrida and disappearing through the door. It took several deep breaths before she felt calmer, though still a bit ashamed at her outburst. She’d come so close to saying more and was glad she’d stopped herself. It was likely to be a difficult conversation and one they didn’t need to delve into yet.

Erna sighed as she sunk into the mattress and started arranging her pillows. The last thing she truly wanted was to leave him, but there was no other way. And while it didn’t _feel_ right, she knew it was for the best. She’d try her damndest to see this detour as a learning experience. After all, she’d always been curious about Midgard.

Yes, she’d enjoy it in whatever ways she could and pray Loki could sort things out at home. She had faith in him.


	30. Chapter 30

Neither Loki nor Erna slept much that night. They would sporadically have snatches of conversations as thoughts popped into their heads, but it was mostly just eliciting promises not to take a specific risk here or action there.

After a long bout of silence, Loki spoke again, sure Erna wasn't dosing, as her breathing wasn't regular enough. "Why does it feel like the night before battle?"

"If that's what this is, it's awful."

"I know it's necessary and that we have to eliminate this threat, but I've never been so reluctant to part with someone in my life."

"What is it you've said to me earlier? You won't be rid of me this easily?"

"And if I recall you forbade me from saying such things even in jest. I ask the same courtesy, please."

"I don't mean it like that, but just because I'm leaving doesn't mean I'm staying gone, Loki. This is my home, as are you."

"I promise I'll have this over as soon as possible, little one."

She let the silence hang between them for a moment, before changing the subject. It was more of a thought than anything, but she blurted it out all the same. Fatigue was wearing away at her filter. "That title used to annoy me, you know."

"What?"

"Little one. I thought it was condescending at first."

He laughed softly and kissed her forehead. "It probably was to begin with, at least a tiny bit. Does it still bother you?"

"No. Actually, I love it. It's unique to you. It makes me happy now."

"Then I shall never stop using it."

"See that you don't."

She drifted into a light doze after that. Normally not deep enough to incite dreams, she started seeing snatches of her nightmare all the same. At that moment, she realized they weren't ordinary dreams. _She_ was sending them to Erna.

Erna ached for her daughter having to sense such things before she was even born, but in her semi-conscious state she began to understand that the visions were a warning. A portent of things that might come if they didn't take action.

It all felt connected to the attacks on her, that somehow she was the linchpin between this horrible future and a happy one. For some reason it all came down to her and only her daughter had made the connection. The dreams and visions were just a way to convey the news.

She probably should have told Loki of her theory then and there, but he'd barely conceded that the child was protecting Erna from the poison. This new insight might strain his already frayed acceptance.

So instead she concentrated on soothing her daughter. She had no idea if the connection they shared worked both ways, but she would at least try. She focused on their plan and tried to convey her faith in Loki. _Your father will stop this. Trust him._

She also tried to let the child know that the warning had been received and that she was grateful for it. _I'll protect you, sweetheart. Your father will stop the threat to us and I'll keep both of us safe while he does._

Finally, she implored her to rest. _You've done so much, my darling. You must leave it to your parents. We'll deal with it. Rest now._

What she received in return wasn't in the form of words, but rather a very intense sense of peace. Somehow the message had been received. Erna rubbed a hand across her belly, marveling at this development. She had some kind of deep connection with their baby. It was amazing.

"Everything alright, little one?" He'd noticed her movement.

"Fine, Loki." She took his hand and linked it with hers before returning it to her belly. "We have faith in you. Trust that."

"We?"

"Yes. Your wife and your daughter."

"I won't let either down."

**-XXX-**

They left the palace before the sun had fully risen, concealing themselves until they were safe in Heimdall's gatehouse. The three others gave Loki and Erna space to say their final goodbyes. He seemed completely unconcerned about their audience and kissed her deeply before sinking to his knees to kiss her stomach as well. Thor gave her a knowing look behind his brother's back, but otherwise stayed silent.

Erna brought a few necessities with her, including a change of clothes, but other than that she would have to rely on Jane and Thor's hospitality. Both time and stealth had prevented her from packing properly. She hadn't even thought of Midgardian garb until Loki told her to stand still while he attended to the issue.

He transformed her gown into something similar to Jane's outfit, just with different coloring and compensation for her belly. It wasn't exactly the same, but the pants, shoes, and sweater looked like they'd been purchased from the same store. She reasoned that Loki didn't know enough about Midgardian fashion to design anything from scratch. All the same, she was grateful for the layers and the bulky sweater. She smiled at seeing the emerald hue Loki favored on many of her new garments.

When they could delay no further, the three travelers lined up. Jane took Erna's hand and gave her a reassuring smile. "First time's always the most interesting, but you'll do fine."

She nodded at Heimdall, indicating her readiness and watched as set the mechanisms in motion. The bright light appeared and she felt herself tugged off her feet into nothingness.

Grateful for Jane's hand, she realized she wasn't anchored to anything else in the shining current of glittering light. Before the notion could grow into panic, she felt her feet touch down onto solid, if a bit scorched, ground.

The light receded and she found herself in a small park. They'd landed in a grassy area beside a set of swings. She had to squeeze her eyes shut as a wave of disorientation passed over her, but it was gone as swiftly as it appeared.

"Are you ill, sister?" Jane removed her hand, and patted her awkwardly on the back as Thor inquired. His panicked expression was almost comical.

"No," she answered, opening her eyes to scan the quiet predawn space. "I'm all right. Where are we?"

"A park by the house." Jane answered her and explained further. "This early I didn't want to draw any undue attention to the house."

"Wise choice. Shall we proceed?" Erna was ready to begin her self-imposed exile.

"Yes. Yeah. Of course. We can get you settled and have breakfast."

Erna reached over and squeezed her sister-in-law's hand. "Thank you, Jane. For everything."

Over their meal, Jane explained that they were in a place called upstate New York, close to a nearby Avengers facility where they both worked. Jane had a suite of research labs and Thor did whatever heroes did while not avenging. By the look of him, he was fond of the gym.

The small house the couple shared was neat and charming in a slightly off-kilter way. Scientific texts mingled with poetry collections and romance novels on their bookshelves and there seemed to be a good balance between the Midgardian and Asgardian tastes. It seemed a happy home to Erna.

Immediately after breakfast, Erna had to beg her hosts' forgiveness and retire to the guest room. After a night of almost no sleep, her body was protesting. She settled in for a nap, grateful for the quiet, but worried about Loki all the same.

When the trilling of a strange bell woke her some time later, the unfamiliar surroundings confused her until her foggy mind caught up with her. Making her way towards the living area, she heard Thor speaking in low tones.

"I care not if you like it, but if you wish to keep me as a friend, you will honor my wishes. I vouch for her."

She saw he was speaking into a small device held to his ear and assumed the conversation was about her. Slipping past him to settle on the couch, she waited for him to end the communication. As interested as she was in the gadget, she was more anxious to hear what they'd been discussing.

He told her in his typical straightforward fashion. "SHIELD knows you're here."

Her stomach clenched, knowing this was one of Loki's fears. "How?"

"They monitor for bifrost activity on Earth. They know two of us left and three came back." He patted her shoulder reassuringly. "But they do not know your identity. I trust SHIELD to an extent, but not enough for them to know you're Loki's queen."

"What will they do?"

"Hopefully nothing. I've asked them to trust me that you're not a threat. They've reluctantly agreed not to interfere as long as you cause no trouble. I think the worst they'll do is surveil you from a distance. They will at least try to identify you and see if you match any known Asgardians."

"Thank you, Thor. I had no idea seeking sanctuary here would endanger your relationship with SHIELD. I wouldn't have asked otherwise."

"You are family, Erna. I will gladly inconvenience them for the sake of your safety. What kind of uncle would I be if I didn't do what I could to protect my niece?"

"You're very kind. I can't thank you or Jane enough."

He pulled her into a fierce hug, but very gently put her back down when finished. He was large and a bit ungainly, but also a sweetheart. And while his personality didn't match her own from a relationship compatibility standpoint, she was happy to call such a man family.

"Is there anything I can do around here to help? Any chores that need doing to make up for the inconvenience of my presence?"

"Sister, you are not an inconvenience. We're not happy of the circumstances that facilitated it, but we'll enjoy your company as if this was a social visit." He shot her a wide smile. "That, and I'm of the understanding that you should be resting whenever possible."

"Loki got to you, didn't he?" She studied him through narrowed eyes, watching as he continued to grin placidly. She probably wouldn't be able to intimidate him on this.

"He explained that the healers threatened you with full bed rest if they think you're pushing yourself too hard. I believe chores would fall under that category. Wherever you want to settle is fine, but you will settle somewhere, sister. I made my brother a promise to make sure you took care of yourself."

"Fine," she grumbled as Thor continued to smile down at her. He looked far too pleased with himself for her liking. He may not be biologically related to Loki, but that smirk ran in the family.

"Jane went to her lab to see to some experiments, but she should be back soon." Almost impossibly, his grin got even wider. He looked more a sun god than one of thunder. "Then we shall luncheon. I am preparing something I think you'll enjoy, sister!"

She sighed and fell back into the cushions. There was no arguing with him. She'd heard Loki lament as such dozens of times and now she was witnessing the well-meaning stubbornness first hand. She was truly part of the family now.


	31. Chapter 31

Erna found their home charming. While it was a far cry from the vast spaces she'd grown used to in the palace, it was warm and reminded her of where she grew up in Alfheim. She repeatedly found herself drawn to the tidy little garden at the back. It was surrounded by a wooden fence on all sides, so she felt marginally screened from view. Loki would certainly protest that anyone wishing to do her harm would ignore such a flimsy barrier, but she couldn't stay in the house all the time.

It quickly became her habit to settle in one of their lounge chairs and star gaze each night before bed. The Midgardian sky was just so different from the one she saw from home. Jane offered her a telescope when she'd noticed Erna's interest, but she gently refused. This way it was relaxing to watch the stars that shined over the same realm that once worshiped her husband as a god.

Thor joined her on the third night, quietly trying to slip into a seat and failing miserably at the task. He was just too large to be silent. She got the distinct impression he was guarding her, but decided to let him if that was his wish.

He left her in silence for several minutes before curiosity got the better of him. "Are you looking forward to becoming a mother?"

"I already am a mother. But yes, I'm looking forward to meeting her finally."

"Sister, I meant no disrespect."

"I know, Thor. I think it's different for men and women. I've been told a woman is a mother from the moment she finds out about the baby, while the man becomes a father once he lays eyes on the child. It's an old adage, and probably incorrect, but in my case it's the truth."

"You think it will take seeing her for Loki?"

"I think it will take this crisis being over. He's so focused on me right now, that I don't know if he's able to ponder his future as a father."

"Please don't fault him for that."

"I don't." She patted her brother-in-law's arm reassuringly.

"He loves you and he's just trying to cope with the danger to you."

She made a noncommittal noise, unwilling to either refute or agree to his pronouncement. But Thor, for all his bluster, was more perceptive than she gave him credit for. "You don't see it, do you?"

"See what?"

"That he loves you. Fiercely, I might add."

"Thor, that's really none of your-"

"Business? Aye, that's mostly true. But I have a vested interest in my brother's happiness. And whether you believe it to be true or not, he adores you."

She stared back at him, mouth hanging slightly agape. People assumed they were in love all the time. In fact, they'd cultivated that image when they began their courtship. But the funny thing was, Erna long stopped caring how others interpreted her behavior towards Loki. She simply did as she pleased. Even before the wedding she'd given up trying to frame her actions in the scope of their arrangement.

Surely Loki was still focused on the impression they left on others. Although the more she thought about it, the more uncertain that became. He didn't act around her, never had really. He didn't generally care enough about what anyone else thought to have much effect on his behavior. Aside from pretending Erna was an innocent, virginal bride, they hadn't put on an act.

And apparently it came across as love. But of course that's what Thor would see. Thor read simpering poetry and saw soul mates wherever he turned.

"I... Thor, the thing about Loki is..." She faltered trying to find a way out of the conversation.

His reply was so condescending she almost wanted to slap him. "Sister, I know he doesn't always express himself directly, but trust me. I know Loki."

As if she didn't. She'd be the first one to notice if Loki was in love with her, damn him. Tears threatened at the corners of her eyes and she wasn't sure if they were in anger... or something else entirely.

Erna shook her head quickly and sputtered out an apology. "I'm sorry, Thor. I'm just too tired and emotional right now to talk about this." She made a show of placing her hand on her stomach to signal that the abrupt end to the conversation was baby-related.

He jumped up as if stung by a hot poker, exactly as she'd hoped. "I didn't mean to distress you, Erna! You must rest. Allow me to escort you back to your chamber."

"That's very kind of you, Thor." Anything to get him of his previous track. She took the arm he offered and he escorted her back to her room at a glacial pace. He apparently thought she'd collapse from fatigue unless they took it very slowly. Thankfully, he kept to platitudes before leaving her for the night.

She had every intention of going straight to sleep, but her mind seemed disinclined to rest. It kept going over Thor's assertion and cross-referencing it with Loki's behavior towards her. But as much as she wished Thor to be right, she simply didn't think it was possible.

Erna reminded herself for probably the thousandth time that she wasn’t some simpering maid, filled with delusions over their relationship. It really couldn’t be plainer, because Loki had told her outright that love wasn’t something the two of them could ever expect. It was enough that they enjoyed each other and more importantly, that he respected her and treated her as an equal. It _was_ enough, she reminded herself. It was.

Because it had to be.

**-XXX-**

Darcy came to visit her on the fourth day. Erna insisted on receiving her from anywhere but her bed, so they congregated in Jane's living room. She was happy to talk to a friendly face. That and not knowing what was happening on Asgard was staring to wear on her. The uncertainty was causing her more anxiety than she anticipated. Darcy would be welcome distraction.

Once Erna was settled, or more accurately beached, on the couch, Darcy didn't hold her tongue. "Jesus, Erna! Just how pregnant are you? You're huge!"

Amused rather than offended, Erna explained as best she could. "I'm only about five months in. Loki's child is just bigger than my body can gracefully handle."

"Jeez I thought you were about to blow any day now."

"Not keen on delivering the baby for me, Darcy?" She offered the woman a raised eyebrow.

Darcy thew up her hands and waved the thought away. "That's what they make doctors and nurses for."

"Fine. If you don't want to be part of the team, I'll just put you on babysitting duty once she's here." The appalled look on her friend's face was enough to put her out of her misery. "I'm just kidding, Darcy."

"Thank goodness. I don't even know how to hold a baby, let alone Loki's kid. He'd probably zap me into oblivion if I let her cry."

It was an absurd statement, but Erna laughed all the same. "He won't be as bad as all that."

"I hope for your sake he won't." She fidgeted in her place on a nearby chair and looked slightly guilty. Erna assumed she was regretting the comments about Loki, but was surprised when Darcy finally came out with it. "So I wanna do my thesis on the Asgardian governmental model and how it compares and contrasts with the setup in America."

"That sounds like a fine idea. I'd be happy to read it once it's complete."

"Well, but the thing is I need more than just that from you. I need firsthand knowledge I can only get in Asgard." As Erna was about to reply, Darcy rushed forward, clearly on a prepared track. "And I know now is a horrible time, so we can wait until after people are trying to kill you and stuff, and if we need to wait until the baby is here that's cool too. It's just that this is such a unique opportunity for me and I think I could help the people here better understand you guys up there in space. Like you may be super hopped up versions of us, but you're not that different. And I can wait to actually start, because I have to get the idea approved by my thesis adviser first. I wanted to ask you before I brought it to her, because you know if you’re not cool with it-"

"Darcy, would you like us to host you while you complete your studies?"

"Yeah. Please. And I know it's a huge imposition and I won't bother you guys at all once I'm there. I'll be the quietest, most well-behaved guest."

Erna waved a hand for her to stop, before she started promising to help out in the kitchens. "It would be no trouble. Guests are constantly coming and going from the palace, so it really isn't an imposition. And I would love to help you in whatever way possible."

"But what about the dark prince... I mean king?"

"I'm sure he'll be happy to help." Or he would once Erna told him that's what was going to happen. "He respects education in a way I don't think you realize. And as you pointed out, there are other benefits."

“Yeah, he seems like he’s kind of okay now. Super intense though.”

“That’s Loki’s nature, like it or not. But I can assure you, he’ll support me in this.”

Darcy grinned back at her, much more at ease than before. “This is seriously cool. You’re basically saving my academic life here. Nobody is gonna come up with anything better than this!” She looked suddenly sheepish. “But you know, the whole cultural understanding thing is good too.”

"Darcy, it’s not wrong to feel pride in your idea. It’s a good one. Too often women are taught that humility should be part of our very makeup, but if men can feel accomplishment in such things, then women should be able to as well.”

“Thanks, Erna. You’re the only queen I’ve met, but I gotta say you’re pretty cool as monarchs go.”

“That means a lot coming from such perceptive, capable woman, Darcy. Thank you.” She had no idea what it really mean to be _cool_ , but judging by the context, it was a good thing.

The conversation she had with Thor when she arrived came back to her. “Will you have to clear your project with SHIELD first? They seemed very concerned when Jane traveled to Asgard for the wedding.”

“Nah. I’m not on their radar like she is. Not only is she the reason they get to have Thor at the ready, but she’s working on all kinds of special projects for them. I’m just someone who happened to get involved when a god came to visit.”

“Well, I hope you know, SHIELD involvement or no, I can vouch for your safety while in Asgard.”

“That’s cool. I trust you. It’s kinda weird, but I’ve known you all of like four minutes and I trust you. Still not a hundred percent sure about your hubs, but if you say I’ll be okay, I believe you.”

“That means a lot to me. I don’t have a lot of friends and I’m honored to count you as one of them.”

“Quality over quantity, Erna.”

“I like to think so.” Her smile turned into a wince when her stomach growled loudly. “Apologies. My stomach has long since abandoned proper behavior.”

“Oh! I almost forgot.” Darcy pulled a small container from her bag. “It might be a little melty. Sorry. I got nervous about asking you about my thesis. I should have put it in the freezer when I got here.”

“What is it?”

“The best ice cream you will ever taste.”

“Ice cream?”

“You’ll love it, trust me. I don’t normally go in for hipster stuff, because like if _I_ think you wear too many toboggans then you probably have a problem, but these guys know what they’re doing.”

She ran to the kitchen to procure two spoons before cracking open the tub. “This is salted caramel and it has something in it that I can’t place and those foodies won’t tell me what. But it’s totally amazing.”

Erna took a small spoonful, assuming that the woman was exaggerating, but not wanting to be rude. She later decided that the noises of pleasure she made after that first taste were far beyond her control. It was frozen heaven.

They spent the rest of the afternoon watching people talk about their poor life choices on something Darcy called _reality TV_ while they finished off the pint of ice cream. It was more fun than Erna had had in a long time.


	32. Chapter 32

Jane wasn't the kind of woman to mince words, so it surprised Erna that it took her almost six days to break down and ask the question that had clearly been eating at her. Erna suspected she wanted to ask during the wedding trip, but Loki's proximity kept her quiet. Now that Erna was in her home, however, she felt no such restriction. She did wait until Thor was out. He still had a soft spot for his brother that Jane didn't understand.

"So why would you ever be with someone like Loki?" She finally blurted it out as Erna was settling herself in the living room after lunch.

Erna offered her a kind smile to show right away that the question didn't offend her. They were basically sisters after all. "He's not the man he once was, Jane. He truly feels remorse for what he's done and he's trying to be the best leader he can be for the people of Asgard."

"I kind of get that, I mean I'm trying to understand it. But beyond all that... he's... he's so _Loki_."

"Jane, the man you see is very different from the one I get when we're alone. Trust me, I wouldn't have married him or even considered having a child with the man if he didn't treat me properly. And in all fairness, your perception of him is colored heavily by past actions."

"God, I'm sorry, Erna. You shouldn't have to justify things to me. I'm sorry I overstepped."

"You have an inquisitive nature, sister. I can't fault you for that."

"He may not be a hearts and poetry kind of guy, but I do see that he's different with you than with anyone else."

"It was more of a surprise to me than to anyone. When we began," she almost slipped and said agreement, but she stopped herself in time. "When we began our courtship he completely surprised me. I had heard terrible stories about him, but he always treated me with the utmost care and respect. It was very... endearing."

"I think you've been good for him."

"I hope so. He's given me more than just a title. I'm free because of him."

"Free?"

"As advanced as Asgard and my own realm may be in many ways, we're still bound by archaic social conventions. Midgardian women have much more freedom to choose what kind of life they lead. I was tied to my father and would have likely been tied to his choice of husband, but Loki helped me out of awful circumstance. My life likely wouldn't have been a very happy one without him. He offered me a freedom that most men won't allow for my sex."

"So Loki's like... progressive?"

She had to laugh at the disbelief on Jane's face. "Very. We're even working to improve the lot of all Asgardian women. We want to make it more acceptable for them to have voices in the government and to have the option to do whatever they wish. He fully supports me in that."

"So you're actually helping him govern? The supreme megalomaniac himself?"

"He insists. It's one of the reasons we got along so well from the beginning. He was one of the only men I'd ever met that didn't want to stifle my voice."

"No wonder you fell in love with him."

She kept a smile on her face, but it felt brittle. Hopefully Jane wouldn't notice. "Yes. It was an inevitability, I'm afraid." Let Jane take that as she would.

"Thank you for being so cool with giving you the first degree."

"Any time, Jane. We're sisters."

"How are you feeling today?"

"I feel stronger than I have in weeks. She enjoys your Midgardian food, particularly the tacos you provided last night."

"I'm glad to hear it. If you're up to leaving the house for a little while I do have a surprise for you."

"Jane, you don't have to entertain me. It's enough that you've opened your home to us."

"It's for me too, so don't feel bad."

"Will there be any attire requirements? I'm afraid all I have are my Asgardian garments along with the one Midgardian outfit Loki conjured for me."

"That one will be fine. And it's all laundered and ready for you. No excuses, Erna. I really want to do this for you."

"Jane, you've been so kind to us. I honestly can't thank you enough."

The woman gave her a huge grin. "I'm happy to. We're sisters."

And with that decision essentially made for her, Erna began the process of extricating herself from the couch.

It was several hours before they made it back to the house, both giggling as they entered the front door.

"And he had no idea who I was and proceeded to tell me how Thor wasn't the best Avenger and why Steve would always be better-"

Jane's story was cut short by the sight waiting for them in the living room. Loki stood scowling in full battle regalia, complete with horned helmet. Normally an impressive sight, it now looked odd and out of place in the domestic setting.

Erna ignored the expression on his face and made her way to him as quickly as her body would allow. "Loki! Is anything wrong? Do you have news?"

"Where were you? I've been waiting for hours wondering if you were in danger somewhere."

"Don't you think Heimdall would have called you back if I was?"

"I... well... I still had no idea where you were." Her logic seemed to have taken some of the wind out of his sails.

She reminded herself that it just came from a place of concern, so she kept her tone light. "Jane took me to a spa! I got a pregnancy massage and a facial and... Jane what was the other one?"

"An exfoliating treatment," the other woman supplied, staying in the archway leading into the hall.

"Yes! That was most invigorating. It was wonderful, Loki! And then stopped for _fro yo_ ," she looked back at Jane, who nodded in confirmation that she had gotten the term right, "because I can't seem to go a few hours without needing food these days. So you see, I'm perfectly fine. Now I've answered your questions, would you please do the same?"

He seemed to have calmed during her explanation and now he even gave her a smile."It's over, little one."

Unconcerned with their audience, Erna grabbed the front of his jerkin, pulled him down to her level, and kissed him deeply before replying. "That is most excellent news, Loki. I'm so relieved. Tell me everything."

"I want you settled back at home before I tell the tale. Come. We can call Heimdall from the back yard." Despite the disapproving noise Jane made at the thought of her lawn sporting a giant scorch mark, Erna knew he was being polite by not opening the bifrost from inside the house.

He took her hand, but when he tried to draw her away she stood firm. "Thor and Jane have done us a great service by sheltering me and the least they deserve is an account of the story. He'll be home soon."

"You're... uh welcome to stay for dinner."

"We shall, Jane. That's a lovely offer." She turned to Loki, now sporting a perturbed expression. "I've become quite adept a preparing the salad!"

"Fine," he snapped. Finally looking at Jane, he spoke through gritted teeth. "Thank you for the gracious invitation."

"I'll just go to the kitchen and start cooking. You two probably need some time together." Without waiting for a response, she fled down the hall and they were alone.

His stern countenance softened the moment Jane was gone. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "I found myself missing you terribly, little one."

"Surprised you, did it?"

"As a matter of fact it did. I didn't sleep particularly well, I missed speaking to you, I missed the feel of you next to me at night. All of it."

"You old romantic."

"I could easily write some bad poetry to better express my feelings, but then I'd insist on performing it for you. I can guarantee it wouldn't be a pleasant experience."

"I'll take your word for it." She nuzzled his chest, enjoying the smell and feel of him. He always smelled slightly of juniper and wood smoke and something subtle she never could place. She'd missed him too.

"How is she?" She knew he didn't mean Jane.

"Very pleased, but even more so since you arrived. She enjoys the food here, particularly your brother's cooking."

" _Thor_ cooks?"

"He's quite good. Jane says he watched programs on the television for hours on end when he first discovered the channel devoted to food."

He sighed wistfully. "Do we really have to stay?"

"Yes. And you will properly thank both of them for all they've done for us."

"But I want to see you safely tucked into bed as soon as possible. And if you're up to it, I would dearly like to show you just how much I missed you. I might not have the right words, but I have ways of making myself clear."

"And that sounds divine, but it will have to wait just a few more hours."

He actually pouted at that, but she wouldn't be swayed. They were saved any future discussion when Thor ambled into the room moments later. She was always struck by how large he looked in the confines of a Midgardian setting, as if he was made for the grand spaces of Asgard.

"Brother,” his voice boomed like the thunder he was famous for.

“No need to shout, Thor, I’m right here,” her husband grumbled.

“You’ve returned with good news, I trust?”

“Yes.” He wouldn’t elaborate further and Erna shot Thor a sympathetic glance over Loki’s shoulder. It wasn’t necessary though, because Thor was more than used to his temperamental little brother.

“Excellent! I trust you’re staying for dinner?”

“We are.” Erna answered with a smile as the big man ducked out of the room. Everyone seemed intent on giving the pair some quiet time together, which suited her fine.

“Now, tell me of your time on Midgard, little one.” He pulled her onto the couch and although she was about to protest, her weary body gratefully sank into the soft upholstery. “Spare no details.”

**-XXX-**

Once committed to staying for a meal, Loki refused to discuss anything of the matter until after they'd eaten. Erna suspected it was more because she'd insisted he remove his armor and helmet than anything else. But petulant or not, he still kept contact with her in some form or fashion as they ate. He held her hand when he could or simply rested a palm on her knee, shoulder, or nape of her neck. She found it tremendously comforting and didn't mention it aloud, lest he stop.

He also wanted the discussion moved to Erna's bedroom so she could rest, but she had him agree to a compromise and they ended up in the living room. Again, she was struck by how odd it was to see the brothers in this setting and wondered if Jane thought the same of her. She ended up taking up a great deal of the couch while Jane and Thor took chairs opposite her.

Loki, ignoring her bulk, gently drew her onto his lap as best he could, another unusual choice for him. In the company of others he usually preferred to remain as regal as possible. He continued to act as if their hosts didn't exist as he fussed over her position, ensuring she was comfortable before they began.

Finally, he kissed her temple and spoke in low, serious voice. "I expect you to tell me if you need to rest at any time. Yes?"

She simply nodded and motioned for him to begin the story.

“I didn’t want the palace knowing you’d gone away, so you stayed in bed in the form of an illusion. We kept up the story that you were recovering from an illness, but that you were getting stronger by the day.” He smirked down at her before adding the next part. “We even had a rather realistic argument about you keeping to bed rest that I’m sure at least your maids overheard. It was likely all over the castle in a matter of hours.”

“How entirely unlike me,” she declared. “It’s a wonder nobody saw through your shoddy ruse.”

“My magic is flawless. I wouldn’t expect a bumpkin light elf to understand the subtleties.” No displeasure colored his words. In fact, the smirk had transformed into a genuine, warm smile. He looked happier than she’d seen him in weeks.

Thor looked particularly amused at this exchange, initially surprised that Erna’s complaint was met with a teasing reply from his notoriously defensive brother. Things certainly _had_ changed in Asgard.

“But days of scanning thoughts for any new plots were fruitless. Nor did Heimdall see any unusual activity. Then we realized that if nobody was actually eating the food prepared for you, then we wouldn’t know if the poisoner was back at work. I was fairly certain that the food hadn’t been tainted in the kitchens, because nobody else fell ill, but I had Heimdall watch just to be sure. I had him focus all his attention not spent monitoring you on the food preparation areas.”

Jane interjected with a question. “What were you doing with the food if nobody was eating it? Were there any tests that could be done to see if they’d been dosed with whatever was used on Erna before?”

“It wasn’t anything I or the healers were familiar with. We detected something in the tea, but it’s still too much of an unknown for a reliable test.” Erna was pleased that he didn’t discount the question just because Jane had done the asking. “We had no recourse but to destroy the meals presented to the queen.”

He continued, now holding Erna’s hand and absently stroking her palm with his thumb. She got the distinct impression he was trying to calm her before the next portion of the tale. “I finally grew tired of the game and decided to observe you being served. We called for your dinner and Heimdall watched as it was prepared and carried to our chambers. I concealed myself in the dining room and…” he faltered for the first time. “Little one, I caught her in the act.”

“Her?”

“Tora. She maintains her innocence, but I saw her sprinkle something all over your food and even dose your cider. We may still not know what it is exactly, but we’re sure it’s what you ingested. The healers are studying it as we speak.”

“But Tora isn’t capable of something like this!”

“Erna, I knew you wouldn’t want to believe this, but I saw it myself.”

“Poison is usually a woman’s weapon, if Midgardian television is to be believed.” Loki and Erna ignored Thor’s addition and Jane put her hand on a massive forearm to quiet the man. She knew anything they’d have to add at this point was unwelcome. No wonder Loki had wanted this discussion to be private.

“What… what was her motive?”

“She won’t say anything in her own defense other than that she wasn’t poisoning you. She wants to speak to you, but I’ve made it quite clear that won’t be happening.”

“And why not?”

“I’m not allowing you in the same room as the woman that tried to kill you on multiple occasions!”

“ _Allowing_ was the wrong choice of words, Loki.”

“Little one, you know what I mean. We shouldn’t endanger you further.”

“I assume she’s in a cell in the dungeons?”

“Well yes, but-”

“But _nothing_. I won’t even go in the cell with her. I will speak to her though. If she won’t give details to anyone but me, then so be it. I need to understand this.”

“Heimdall and I are coming with you if you insist on this.”

“I do.”

They took their leave of Midgard shortly thereafter, Loki thanking his brother and sister-in-law for sheltering his wife. It hadn’t even taken any prodding from Erna to extend an open-ended invitation to the couple to join them in Asgard any time they wished. For Loki, that was a big step.

By the time they’d traversed the bifrost and snuck back into the palace, she was exhausted. Loki, constantly on the watch for signs of distress or fatigue, bundled her into bed as soon as they made it to their bedroom. It was an odd sensation watching a sleeping version of herself disappear before she climbed into bed and replaced her.

And while she felt relief that she was home and the culprit had been caught, a nugget of uncertainty refused to leave her. It festered in her gut, leaving her tired, but unable to immediately succumb to sleep. They would interrogate the girl in the morning and though it promised at least some answers, she couldn’t look forward to it.

Eventually, she narrowed her focus to Loki’s steady breathing and was able to shut everything else out. Tomorrow promised to be a trying day and she needed all the rest she could get.


	33. Chapter 33

The gatekeeper met them outside their chambers the next morning. She wasn’t sure the man ever slept, but it seemed rude to ask him about it, so she simply thanked him instead. “Heimdall, I can’t thank you enough for all you done for us.”

“It is my duty and pleasure, my queen. I only wish I could have been of greater help. I’m still not sure how I failed to see what was happening.”

“Heimdall, none of us are perfect. It was one of my own maids and I didn’t suspect a thing.”

“ _One_ of your maids?” His golden eyes narrowed and he stopped in his tracks. “But your majesty, you only have one maid.”

“No, there are two. Bera and Tora. I would never have thought either capable of this, but Tora was the greater surprise of the two. She’s always been so sweet and helpful, even to the point of annoyance.”

“I watch your servants very closely, my queen, and I’ve never seen anyone but Bera attend to you.”

Loki watched the exchange in silence, taking in the implications of the new information.

“Search her,” she now spoke to her husband. “Provide her with new garments and have everything on her person brought to us.” She headed back towards their rooms with the men in tow. “Something isn’t right and I want to see everything before I speak to her.”

In less than an hour all of the items on Tora’s person when Loki caught her were laid out on the dining table.

“Aside from the poison we retrieved, I see nothing of any consequence.” Loki gestured to the scattered possessions with an impatient sigh.”

“There has to be something. I honestly don’t think Tora did this.” Erna scrutinized the assortment, wondering whether they should rip the seams out of the clothing just to be sure nothing was concealed there.

“Little one, I know you don’t want to believe this of her, but the proof is clear.”

“I still don’t think we have all the information,” she asserted stubbornly.

She suddenly felt the need to actually touch each item on display. Later she wouldn't be able to attribute the sense of urgency to anything other than her daughter, but she listened to it immediately and began running her fingers carefully over each confiscated item.

Almost as soon as her hand brushed against a modest piece of jewelry, Heimdall shouted for her to stop.

"My queen, you disappeared from my sight as soon as you touched that!"

"But I'm standing right in front of you, Heimdall."

"I was referring to my _other_ sight, your grace."

Both she and Loki exclaimed at the same time and she had to snatch the charm away from his groping fingers to examine it. He clearly didn't want her handling it, but she had to have a closer look.

It was a rather rough piece, once she got a good look at it. The small lump of stone looked like a misshapen bit of coal and it was crudely surrounded by a thin rim of gold. It was suspended from a simple gold chain long enough to camouflage the pendant with Tora's robes. All in all, it looked like something an apprentice jeweler would make when first learning their craft.

Nothing on the rock or setting belied where it had come from and it wasn't opulent enough to raise any suspicions about Tora illegally obtaining the item. She saw nothing that immediately explained why the holder of the necklace was immune from Heimdall's inner sight.

When she finally handed it over to Loki, he huffed in annoyance before making his own examination. She heard him mutter a string of soft words under his breath. The stone glowed pale blue for a matter of seconds before reverting back to its original state. Almost immediately, he looked up, a grimace on his face. "Either Tora is a brilliant magician, so gifted in the ways of magic that even I didn't detect her, or this came from elsewhere."

"What do you mean?" Why couldn't he just explain outright without being so damned cryptic? Likely payback for her own recent reticence regarding her Midgard plan.

"This is a very rare rock from Svartalfheim I've only ever read about. The dark elves learned to process it and used it to shield their ships from Aesir sight. It's a tricky bit of magic to take the raw product and enchant it into a usable form, so either I've greatly underestimated your maid or someone gave this to her. Someone quite powerful."

"And Heimdall, you've never sensed Tora before?"

"Not until a few minutes ago when she surrendered all these items."

"Which tells me she came to Asgard with this charm around her neck." The knowledge settled like a stone in her stomach. This was so much worse than a disgruntled servant. She swayed unsteadily on her feet, exhausted from the weight of the realization.

Loki was at her side before she knew it, strong arms supporting her. "Little one, you mustn't push yourself. Let me take you to bed and I'll deal with this."

"No!" It came out louder than she intended, so she tried to soften the refusal with a gentler tone. "Please. I must speak with her. If you insist on confining me to bed, then I'll have her brought to me."

"Absolutely not."

"Then take me to the dungeon and be ready to conjure a comfortable chair once we get there. I'm not at my strongest right now, but I can do this, Loki. I have to do this."

"Why did I have to marry the most stubborn person in all the nine realms?"

She grinned up at his exasperated countenance. "Someone has to keep you on your toes."

"This isn't a game, Erna."

"I'm well aware of that, Loki." She turned to face him fully, dizziness gone for the moment. "Carry me on a litter if that makes you feel better, but I will speak to her. I want this over and done with as soon as possible. And I know you do too. You won't sway me on this."

"I can't seem to sway you on anything," he groused.

But he ended up giving in, as she'd hoped he would. He didn't go so far as to conjure a litter, but he supported her so thoroughly on the trek downstairs that it was practically carrying her.

As soon as Tora caught sight of her, she rushed forward to the front of her cell, the most pitiful look of hope on her young face. "Your majesty! Please, you must know I'd never try to harm you."

Erna waved a hand for the girl to be silent while Loki attended to the practicalities. He took her suggestion to heart and conjured a plush chair, extra pillows, and an ottoman, insisting she prop up her swollen feet. She knew she'd have to make this interview count, as the threat of bed rest became more immediate by the hour.

Once she was situated to Loki's satisfaction, she asked her first question. "Tora, if you weren't trying to poison me, what did my husband catch you adding to my food?"

The blush that enveloped her pale face spoke more to embarrassment than guilt. "Vitamins, your grace."

"Vitamins?"

"Yes. I wanted to be sure you and the baby were healthy."

"So you thought it would be best to secretly dose me?"

"I've been told that you generally refuse all medicines when you're ill, that it would be best to have you take them without realizing it."

"Bera told you this?"

"No, my queen." She curtsied nervously and Erna was struck again by how earnest the girl seemed. If she was plotting the queen's death, she was a master at hiding it. "Someone in the household told me before I joined your service. They said it was very important I remember that."

She changed subjects abruptly to see how Tora reacted. "Who gave you this?" Erna dangled the necklace and hear a displeased Heimdall grunt behind her. She could tell how upset he was about the concealment.

"I..." Tora hesitated for the first time. "I can't tell you that."

"Can't or won't?" Loki clearly couldn't hold his tongue any longer.

"Can't, your majesty. I was forbidden." The blush was back and something about the maid's expression jangled alarm bells in Erna's head.

"Tora, if you aren't a hundred percent truthful with us we can't help you." She ignored Loki's snort of derision at the word _help_ and continued. "You must understand how this looks. The king caught you putting something on my food that turned out to be poison. If you don't help us find an explanation you'll be convicted of treason. The penalty will likely be death, Tora."

"But I promised, your grace. I swore I wouldn't tell."

"Is this promise worth your life, Tora?" Loki managed to sound both resolute and menacing.

"I... I don't..." The words spluttered out and she looked around, eyes now frantic in panic. "But my queen, I'd never wish to harm you of all people!"

"Of all people?"

"You're his... I mean... I cannot betray my vow."

"Tora," she began, keeping her voice low and level despite the growing feeling of uneasiness. "The person who gave this charm to you is a man. You just confirmed that. Is it the same man that gave you the potion?"

She nodded quickly. "Yes, your majesty."

"This is the man you feel like you'd betray by telling me his name?"

"Yes."

"But Tora, he gave you something that made me ill. If we're to clear up this misunderstanding," she dug her nails into Loki's forearm to keep him quiet, "then we must know his identity."

"I have to protect his reputation, your grace."

"It can stay between the four of us, Tora. If this is all a mistake, we can clear this up quietly."

Loyalty truly was one of Tora's virtues. She nodded again, shoulders sagging in relief and the words began to tumble out.

"We have to keep everything quiet until he leaves her. Then we must wait an appropriate amount of time before we can marry. I'll have to leave your service, your majesty, but we'll be family!"

The sick feeling in Erna's stomach magnified as the naive girl's words sunk in. There was no other explanation. "My father. He gave you the potion and the necklace." Anger was slow to come as she grappled with the implications. Now it was just a cold numbness.

"I know it's wrong, but we love each other! He sent me to serve you so I could get to know you better. I didn't want to be like your stepmother, constantly at odds with you. She's so horrible to you."

"The necklace was a parting gift, no doubt. A promise of what was to come."

"He made it himself, your grace." Tora seemed lost to memories of their tryst. Erna greatly doubted her father actually loved the girl, but she kept her voice neutral.

"And you began sneaking the potion... vitamins into my food, because my father told you how much I hated to take medicine. You thought you were doing what was best for me."

"Yes, your majesty." The girl beamed back at her, happy to be unburdened of her secret, and believing the whole matter was cleared up.

"Tora, I must rest now, I'm afraid. Bear with me a bit longer while we sort this out with the guards. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Thank you, your grace. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding." She curtsied again, untroubled smile still suffusing her face.

"Yes well, it wasn't your fault." She was already on autopilot. Wanting to get a far away from the duped maid as quickly as possible. She needed to yell and howl and hit something, the numbness rapidly turning into white hot rage. "Please get me out of here," she whispered to her husband.

Ignoring all pretense, he scooped her up into his arms and rushed her away from the dungeon. Overwhelmed by anger and helplessness and betrayal, she took no notice of their path, trusting Loki to ensure her safety.

And as shocked as she was, a tiny part of her accepted it without question. It saddened her to realize how quickly she saw the truth. For whatever his motives might be, she was certain her father was capable of this. It was the same sense that told her Tora had been an unwitting pawn and she trusted that judgment.

They’d never understood each other, Reynard even seeming to dislike his eldest daughter, but that was a far cry from plotting her murder. What led him to something like this?

Surprised to notice he was tucking her into bed, Loki answered her unspoken question. “This is my fault, Erna. Ever since I flew off the handle at that horrible dinner, his hatred climbed to a whole new level.”

“No, Loki.” She reached up and cupped the side of his face, forcing him to meet her gaze. “He behaved badly and you reacted. None of your actions were grounds for what he’s trying to do. We haven’t even met her yet and I can’t imagine ever wanting to hurt our daughter. In no situation would that ever be in my nature. Or yours.”

“Little one, you must rest now. I’m going to fetch Eir to give you a check. She said too much stress could be harmful and we have to make sure you’re both all right.”

“Loki, we have to do something about this. Now is not the time to confine me to bed!”

“Now is exactly that time. You’re exhausted and you’ve just had a major shock.” He sat down beside her, gently easing her back into the pillows. “Nothing changes the fact that you two are my primary priority. We can take some time for an examination before worrying about anything else.”

“Fine. But after they check me we’re having a serious talk. I won’t be left to wonder and wait while you handle this on your own.”

“You have my word, little one.”


	34. Chapter 34

As she’d feared, Eir finally swung the ax and put Erna on bed rest until either her blood pressure could be brought under control or the baby came, whichever happened first. She knew that despite Loki’s dour expression that he was secretly happy with the decision. There’d be no hiding in Midgard this time around.

It felt like hours and hours before they were alone again and she went straight to the business at hand. “We have to find him, Loki.”

“I’ve already dispatched troops to Alfheim to apprehend him. Heimdall is at the ready to transport them back as soon as he is found.”

“Should you just send troops to Alfheim like that? Isn’t that courting disaster?”

“I’ve already sent word to Freyr regarding the situation. He has no wish to harbor a fugitive from Asgardian justice. He wants this over with as quickly as we do.”

“You’ve been busy.” The words came out with a wry smile, Erna envying the action he was able to take. She was confined and hated her inability to act.

“I’m doing everything in my power to finish this, Erna.”

Her face softened at his defense, not wishing him to think she was cross with his decisions. “I know, Loki, I know. I just feel so helpless and you know that never sits well with me.”

“I’m well aware, little one.” He placed a kiss on her forehead, lingering awkwardly. She thought he had something else he wanted to say, but after a few silent moments, he straightened up and gave her a strained smile. “I assume you have orders for me while you’re relegated to the bed?”

“We need to figure out where the necklace came from. My father has no talent for magic, otherwise he wouldn’t have gone after me in such a roundabout way. There may still be others involved that we don’t know about. Can we find out if anyone else in the palace is in possession of one of these stones? And someone needs to speak to Tora again and reassure her that we’re working everything out. She’ll learn of his treachery soon enough, but it’s not her fault she was manipulated into hurting me. You should-”

He finally stopped her with an exasperated exclamation. “Erna! We have this well in hand. I have people exploring all the avenues you mentioned, except perhaps visiting the girl. I was actually inquiring if _you_ needed anything. Tea? Food? Anything I can do for my wife that doesn’t involve mobilizing troops or questioning the staff?”

“But Loki, this is too important-”

He cut her off again. “ _You_ _’re_ too important to ignore. Amongst all this madness, I _am_ still capable of looking after your wellbeing.”

She sighed and reminded herself for the hundredth time that he wasn’t being condescending or smug, he genuinely wanted to make her as comfortable as possible. Despite all the tall tales she’d heard about him, her husband turned out to be an incredibly caring man. At least where she was concerned. To others, particularly those that garnered his ire, it was another matter entirely.

Part of her relished the inventive ways Loki chose to express his fury with anyone who displeased him. A cold shiver of anticipation crept up her spine at the thought of what he’d do to Reynard once the man was apprehended. She was sure Loki would find some _creative_ way to punish such a foul crime.

Not one to school her expression around her husband, he immediately noticed the change in her face. “And what is that dreamy little smile for, might I ask?”

She ignored the slightly incredulous tone and answered. “Just thinking about what you can do to him by way of punishment.”

The shocked look he bore only stuck her as partially contrived. She’d actually surprised him with her statement. “I had no idea you were such a bloodthirsty little thing.”

“He tried to murder our child. If I was capable of it, I’d be hunting him down myself. Right now I can’t think of another person in all the nine realms that deserves justice more than my blackguard of a father.”

His face grew serious and he placed his large hand over hers. “I promise we’ll get him, Erna. All my political and magical power will be brought to bear on him for what he’s done to you and our daughter. Nowhere is safe for him.”

“Promise me you won’t kill him right away. I want him brought before me once he’s captured.”

She’d expected an argument or a plea for her to stay out of it, but he merely nodded his head in agreement before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “You have my word, my queen.”

Temporarily appeased, she settled back into the pillows and gave her husband a beatific smile. “Also, some tea wouldn’t go unappreciated.”

**-XXX-**

The matter wasn’t as easily settled as they’d assumed. Thanks to Loki’s quick thinking, a small contingent of troops was deployed to her family’s estate in Alfheim within hours of the revelation. Her father, however, was nowhere to be found. To be safe, the soldiers searched the manor, outbuildings, and grounds, but they found no trace of the man. Likewise, Heimdall was unable to glean his whereabouts, but he remained on guard at the helm of the bifrost should he so much as catch a glimpse of the fugitive.

When questioned, the Alfheim staff maintained that Lord Reynard was still in Asgard. They thought that his business there was going so well that he’d summoned his wife to join him. The search confirmed that Erna’s stepmother too was absent. The servants seemed genuinely aghast that any harm had come to Erna. The housekeeper ended up in such a state of nerves at the thought of her mistress in danger that the news of Erna’s new royal position sent her into a faint. It seemed the only news they’d received since Erna left had been carefully screened by her father. Nobody knew of Erna’s engagement, much less the marriage and were aghast to hear the letters they’d been receiving were forgeries.

Wishing to minimize the effect on her brother and sister, Erna had them brought back to the palace with the returning warriors. She explained as much of the situation to them as she dared, patiently filling them in on all they’d missed. She hoped no lasting damage had been done and was happy to see their excitement over the prospect of having a new baby to play with soon. Neither seemed upset at the move to the palace, Sigun in awe of their new surroundings and Eryk enraptured with the idea of training in the same practice yard as the mighty Thor.

Children, she marveled, were remarkably resilient, but she withheld the worst parts of the narrative. They’d eventually have to make peace with what their father had done, but she’d at least spare them the heartache while they settled into their new routines.

Loki proved an accommodating host, greeting each child warmly with the promise of a personal tour of the palace. And though he was gifted with charm, she saw past the smile plastered on his face as he escorted the two chattering children out of the room. The smile didn’t falter until he joined her back in their chambers late that afternoon.

“I’d hoped to meet them under more auspicious circumstances, but they are delightful children.” He sunk into the bed, still fully clothed, weariness rolling off of him in waves. “Exhausting, but delightful.”

“Thank you for showing them such kindness, Loki. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”

He rolled onto his side so he was facing her before continuing. “Were you _worried_ about how I’d receive them?”

She hesitated slightly before replying, but knew he’d see through it if she tried to soften the truth. “Yes. Please know I don’t think you cruel, but the situation is a difficult one.”

“They are innocents in all this, Erna. Despite my rage, even I can see that. And you love them, so that alone means I’ll see to their safety and happiness, second only to your own.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid they’re our responsibility now.”

“If you recall, you wanted it.” He rushed forward before she could form the protest he knew was coming. “I know you wouldn’t have wished it under such horrid circumstances, but it was your wish to foster them at the palace and at least one good thing has come of this.”

“They truly found no trace of Rania?”

“None. She left months ago, telling the staff your father had summoned her here. Do you think she’s involved?”

“Honestly I don’t know. I’d like to think she is incapable of doing me harm, but I can’t be certain. She loves those children though. For all her faults, she loves them. Why would she abandon them to help my father with this plot?”

“That’s a question I cannot answer, little one. But I hope we find answers when we get our hands on Reynard. I have patrols scouring every inch of the paths between Alfheim and Asgard. We’ll search every realm if need be.”

She watched as he grunted with effort and heaved himself back up onto his feet. Loki rolled his neck with an audible crack before moving back to the doorway. “You’re not leaving are you?” Tears began to well in her eyes before she even finished the query.

“I have to see to the troops and make sure they understand their deployment plans.”

“No you don’t!” The heated exclamation seemed to shake the fatigue from him. “You have generals for that! I’ve been cooped up all day with only intermittent snatches of information and you want to leave me _again_?”

He watched in horror as the tears began to trail down her pink cheeks and hiccuping sobs shook her frame. The situation didn’t warrant such a response, he was sure of it, but he absolutely knew better than saying that out loud. “But little one, I need to see to your safety.”

“By leaving me?!”

Rooted in place by such an unexpected outburst, he studied his hands rather than continue to watch her agonized face. “Only as long as I have to.” He might very well be the king of Asgard, but at that moment he felt remarkably like a child being scolded for bad behavior.

“You don’t have to do anything. We have servants to relay messages. If you don’t want to stay with me just say so.”

The last sentence was enough to dispel his paralysis. He stalked over to her side of the bed in a handful of long strides, startling her into silence by kneeling beside her. “I’ll stay, but don’t for one second think that it’s because you shamed or guilted me into doing so. You can just assume that I’d always rather be with you, but it’s taking everything I have not to wreak unimaginable havoc on the realms looking for the man that tried to murder my wife and child. I understand this is a difficult time, but you must not let such doubts overwhelm you. Even if I can’t always accommodate you, know that I always _want_ to stay with you.”

He sighed and continued, the patient tone holding, but still wearing thin. They were both on edge. “It’s like I take one step forward and three back when you get like this. Can’t you see that I… that I _want_ you, Erna? I will always want you.”

“Even when I’m crying for no reason?”

Though his face was blurry through the tears, she saw his expression soften and heard a gentle chuckle in response. “You have plenty of reasons, little one. But I don’t want doubt to be one of them. Please don’t question my feelings for you, all right?”

She merely nodded, wishing she was bold enough to ask for a precise definition of those _feelings_. But Loki continued before she could pluck up the courage.

“And as for you,” he started, placing both hands on her stomach. He leaned in closer before continuing. “That statement goes for you as well.” He looked back up at Erna, sincerity shining in his eyes. “This is my world. Right here. The two of you are everything to me. Never forget that.”

He nudged her over and climbed in next to her. The bulk of his armor didn’t even bother her as he pulled her into his arms. If anything, the familiar smell of worn leather comforted her almost as much as his words had. Thankfully, the tears stopped and she could enjoy the warmth of his embrace.

After several minutes he rose again and she tried to put on a neutral face, taking his words to heart. “I do still have an errand that needs attending to. It’s something I’d rather see to myself, but it shouldn’t take very long.”

“Okay.” The logic of it did nothing to stop her heart sinking at the prospect of him leaving again. She _knew_ it was completely irrational, but couldn’t stop herself from feeling a distinct sense of despair. _Pull yourself together_ , she chided herself.

“I also want to make a quick visit to Eir. I know you’ve been cooped up here all day and it’s probably driving you mad.” That at least earned a smile from her. “So if she’ll give permission, I’d be honored if the queen would join me for dinner. I hope she won’t object to the small trek to our private table. If not, we shall feast in bed. Is that agreeable?”

“It sounds perfect. Thank you, Loki.”

“I’ll be as quick as I can.”


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the lack of updates. Work has been beyond hectic and it seems like my brain had a hard time connecting A to B in this chapter. But goodness writing in the bath does wonders for cogitation.

He may have had every intention of coming back right away, but Erna found herself antsy after half an hour of listless waiting. Nothing at hand seemed to keep her interest for longer than a few minutes, not that there was much to avail herself of while confined to the bed. Loki had tried his best to ensure she had distractions like books and crafts at hand, but her mind wanted none of it.

She yearned for her kitten, but Loki had pawned the little beast off on young Olave as soon as she’d left for Midgard. She supposed it was for the best that Syn stay safe elsewhere in the palace while they struggled to resolve matters. But she couldn’t help but wish for the entertainment the little ball of fur would offer.

Pushing thoughts of the cat aside, she decided that nobody could fault her for taking a bath. Peril or no, she could at least bathe herself without a production. And Eir could hardly object to her making the handful of steps on her own. Well, knowing Eir she could and would object to just about anything Erna chose to do. But contrary to what everyone thought, she wasn’t totally helpless. She wasn’t entirely sure Loki would agree with her assessment of the situation, but she figured that any anger over leaving the bed might be overlooked when confronted with a naked wife. Erna decided the chance was worth it.

While liberating herself from the bed, a thought struck her. Drawing herself up to her full, albeit petite, height, she spoke to the empty room with as much authority as she could muster. “Heimdall, I know you’ve been watching me closely today, but I beg you turn your sight elsewhere for the foreseeable future. I’m about to bathe.” She waited, realizing she had no idea what an affirmative signal would even look or sound like. After a moment of waiting, she nodded and assumed he’d handled her request with his usual dedication.

Normally she would have puttered about the room while waiting for the enormous tub to fill, but despite her tiny deviation from the bed rest prescription, she didn’t want to push it. However, a quick trip to the nearby wardrobe was in order before she shambled into the bathroom.

As she rooted around for a clean nightgown, she felt a change in the air. _Something,_ be it intuition or another gift from the baby, told her danger was near. When she slowly turned around, the alarm bell turned into a klaxon at the sight. Her father stood across the room, leaning against the lintel of the fireplace with a sickening grin on his face, as if he had every right in the world to be there.

Rendered temporarily speechless with rage, he took her silence as a sign of fear and chuckled darkly. “Thank you for having that watchdog of yours to turn a blind eye to you, daughter. It makes this so much easier.”

Erna’s mind was already formulating plans of attack, only to dismiss them as quickly as they could form. She was in no fit state to pounce on him and tear him apart with her bare hands. Although she had no doubt that she could, if she wasn’t in her current state. The only immediate recourse she could see was to keep him talking. Loki had promised to return shortly and as much as she hated to need someone else to defend her, she couldn’t change the facts of the situation.

Finding her voice finally, she tried to keep her tone even and cold. “You still call me daughter after everything you’ve tried to bring down upon me? Not very fatherly of you, I must say.” As she spoke, she took a few steps closer to him, subtly looking for the telltale sign of a weapon. But he could be concealing any number of nasty implements beneath the worn travel cloak he was sporting. No, an attack wouldn’t be wise. She had nothing to defend her aside from the flimsy fabric of her shift.

Her almost scolding tone had the desired effect, Reynard’s face going pink with frustration. He didn’t like to be questioned on a good day, but now seemed even more susceptible to such manipulations. Unhinged was a word that came to her mind as she watched the disaffected air drop away from him, replaced with a familiar desire to impress those around him with his astounding wit. But much had changed since they last met. Not only had she grown into her position as queen, but the distance from him had given her a deeper insight into his pathetic need for power and position.

“Everything I’ve done is for the good of my daughter. I now see that nobody will ever thank me for it or appreciate the sacrifices I’ve made, but you’ll at least understand before I put you in your grave.”

“I’m confused, Reynard.” She was done addressing her as father. “How exactly is killing me for my own good?”

“I have more than one daughter, girl.”

“If you even _think_ about hurting Sigun, I will reign such vengeance upon you that you’d wish for the mercy of death.”

“I would never wish to hurt our future queen.” The insolent attitude was back. He so enjoyed having information that Erna didn’t. “As I said, everything I’ve done has been for _her_.” He emphasized the last word, as if to further remind her that Reynard held no love for his eldest child.

As he took a swaggering step closer to her, she saw a small black stone hanging from a leather thong around his great big neck. It looked to be a match to the one found on Tora. At her request Heimdall had averted his gaze from her and he _couldn_ _’t_ see Reynard. Her pulse quickened at the implication. Loki was her only hope now.

“Future queen? You plan to murder Loki along with me and plant little Sigun on the throne? She’s not even of Asgard.”

“Oh no. I need that lout of a king alive. He’ll mourn your death for a time, I’m sure, but eventually he’ll see that Sigun was the superior mate all along. It make take a few more years, but you’ve already brought her to the palace, which is one less thing I have to worry about.”

Incredulity clouded her face as she took in his words. “You want Sigun to replace me as queen. She’s just a _child_.”

“She’ll be of a marriageable age in a few years and even as young as she is, already more beautiful than you. I’m sure after the initial shock, that idiot magician will warm to her nicely.”

“Why even bring me to Asgard if your plan was to marry Sigun to the king all along?”

“You were never meant to be the carrot, my dear, only the stick.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You always prided yourself on being so very _clever_. Just like your mother. It’s too bad she didn’t take you with her when she ran. But then again, you can’t blame such a pitiful creature for selfishly only considering her own safety.” As much as it pained her, she stayed quiet, waiting for him to elaborate. The mention of her mother disturbed her, but she had to understand more recent events before she could allow that line of inquiry to distract her further.

“You were meant to be the undesirable option. The thing that would chase him towards Sigun.” She ignored the fact that he referred to her as a _thing_. After all these years it shouldn’t have surprised her. “You’re too opinionated, you talk too much, you never accepted your place. He shouldn’t have wanted you.”

“That’s why you were upset when he wanted to negotiate for my hand.”

“I underestimated you, girl. Something I won’t be foolish enough to do again.” His gloating was sickening, but even now his ego could be counted on to buy her time. He couldn’t seem to resist explaining everything to her. “And it was your precious king that gave me the most valuable information I needed.”

“How so?” Taking every opportunity to scan the area as they spoke, she found several possible weapons to use, but they were all out of easy reach. She wasn’t as fast as she once was.

“He outright told me he has ears everywhere. I realized that whatever had to be done couldn’t be planned while still in the palace.”

“But you had help, it seems. Tora seems to be under the impression that we’re soon to be one big, happy family once you divorce Rania.”

“I told her what she wanted to hear. I needed her help to get close to you after you sent me away.”

“Where did the charms come from? There’s no way you’re talented enough to make them yourself.”

So quick to emotion, the deepening color of his face betrayed his anger. “Not talented with magic, no. But coin is its own kind of magic, don’t you think? It can buy all manner of exotic charms and poisons.”

She was beginning to lose patience with his gloating, round face getting uglier and uglier with every venomous word that dripped from his mouth. “Did you honestly think we wouldn’t figure out who the culprit was eventually? That we wouldn’t bring the might of the nine realms down upon you?”

“I see no might, daughter. I see a trumped up queen ready to be sacrificed so that a greater one may take her place.” With that he removed a long dagger from his robes. As she’d suspected, he was armed. She swallowed back a wave of panic and fear at the sight of the sharp blade in the firelight.

“My husband won’t be fooled so easily. He’ll hunt you until his last breath.”

“Grief does strange things to people.” She wanted nothing more than to carve the knowing smile off of his round face, but she kept her expression neutral, ever the ignorant woman in need to an explanation. _Keep him talking_ , she reminded herself. Talking meant he wasn’t attacking. “Take your mother, for example. When I told her of your death, she flew into an uncontrollable rage and tried to kill me. Foolish woman. I subdued her easily, but it was only a matter of hours before she fled the estate. Grief, my dear, can turn a meek woman into a warrior and I’ll wager a king into a hollow shell of himself.”

“You told my mother that I had died?”

His smile went from knowing to horrifying in mere seconds. “Smothered by my own hand, as far as she knew. I was trying to teach her the importance of obedience, I’ll admit she surprised me. Tried to gouge out my eyes with her bare hands.”

“She left thinking I was dead?”

“I’m done explaining all this to you,” he spat the words at her as he advanced toward her. A little frantically, she searched his face for a glimmer of something, anything that might show her he wasn’t truly capable of murdering his own daughter. Sadly, she saw only fury in his flat golden eyes.

Realizing she was past the point of delaying him, she began backing away, keenly aware of the position of the knife he now openly wielded.

“I won’t make this easy for you.”

“Girl, you’ve never made anything easy in your whole life.”

She knew she’d never overpower him in a fair fight, much less without a proper weapon to defend herself with. Never more grateful for Loki’s harsh training lessons, she saw that fair would have no place in what was about to occur. His temper, as she’d always known, was his greatest weakness.

“You always claim I’m so unlike you, Reynard. Mother clearly held little love for you or she wouldn’t have fled your house. Have you considered that I’m not really yours?”

“She wouldn’t have dared,” he growled. But the exchange did slow his steps.

Erna continued, backing toward a table containing a half full tankard of cider. The drink didn’t concern her, but she saw the heavy flagon as a potential weapon. One couldn’t be terribly choosy at times like this.

She decided to twist the verbal knife further. “Magnus always took a special interest in me as I was growing up. Perhaps he’s my father.”

“Magnus! He’s a low-born soldier!” He was shouting again as she forced an air of concentration for this new puzzle.

“No, but this would explain a lot. Magnus trained me despite the dozens of times you told him not to. He never let me shirk my tutor assignments and he always had a present for me on my birthday.” Now she was just making things up, but Reynard didn’t need to know that.

With satisfaction she heard Reynard roar with frustration and rage before he brandished the knife and lunged at her.

Everything seemed to slow as he made his final assault. Nothing would stop him, she thought, calmer than she ought to be. Because despite the very tangible danger, a strange sense of tranquility suffused her, down to the very core of her being. The certainty of violent death shouldn't have that effect, she mused. Yet here she was.

Even the light gleaming off of the wicked blade took on a new beauty. The same couldn't be said for her father. Maniacal glee did Reynard’s countenance no favors.

He seemed to be fighting his way through molasses, he was moving so slowly. But then again she was too. The hand she meant to grab the flagon with was still inching up from her side at a horribly languid pace.

As she contemplated that hand, and why she couldn't make it go faster, a heat started gathering in her stomach. No, not her stomach precisely, lower than that, and getting hotter by the second.

It felt like a supernova was growing inside her, the fire was so intense. But there wasn't any pain. It was the oddest sensation she'd ever experienced.

And while it didn't hurt her, it was just too much. Too _big_ , too _strong_ , just too damn _much_ to stay locked in the confines of her body. Just as the feeling threatened to overcome her, a blinding light burst forth around her. The heat flowed from her, her body sagging with relief to be rid of it.

It was as if the bifrost had been opened directly behind her eyes, tainting her vision with its golden illumination. Mercifully, there was still no pain, but the peaceful feeling from moments ago was gone. Panic and confusion settled in instead.

She heard her father scream, but could no longer see his form. It could have been a scream of bloodlust or one of agony, she had no way of knowing. And it kept going and going, drowning out the blood pounding in her own ears.

As the light peaked in intensity, she felt her own energy waver and begin to leech away from her. Sluggish before, her arms were now leaden and useless at her sides. A fatigue the likes of which she'd never felt washed over her as the light dissipated as quickly as it had come.

One word crossed her mouth before she gave into the encroaching blackness. "Loki," she plead in barely a whisper.


	36. Chapter 36

She floated for a long time, or at least that was the closest thing she could approximate it to. Everything in her mind was all jumbled and she kept feeling like there was something important she was meant to do. The only problem was that no matter how hard she tried to remember what it was, it skated around the edges of her thoughts, never making itself clear.

When she finally wrenched her eyes open, the most beautiful face greeted her. An angular, angelic face with a stricken expression. But she knew him. Well, he was familiar at least.

"You're not supposed to be here," she croaked.

"What?" The angel with the wild, raven hair must be slow, she decided.

"When you die, you’re meant to go to Valhalla. But I don't think that's where I went. They probably wouldn't let me in." The words came out in a dreamy stream, making her angel's brow furrow even farther.

"Erna, I'm not dead."

"Oh good." She pulled in a deep breath before continuing, already feeling sleep tugging her back down to the floaty place. "You're too pretty to die. I don't know why, but just looking at you makes me happy. I suppose that comes with the territory of being an angel."

"Erna, you aren't making any sense."

Whatever she was going to reply died on her lips as she slipped back into unconsciousness.

Over the next.... well however long it was, only snatches of conversation made it down to her. But she heard the same words over and over again. Rest. Confused. Concussion. Observation. Recovery. Patience. Rest.

When she surfaced again the angel was right where she'd left him. He was in sharper focus this time though.

She picked up the thread she'd dropped earlier. "If you're not dead, then how are you here?"

He pondered her question a moment and narrowed his pale eyes at her."Where do you think here is?"

"I don't actually know. I never put much stock in what the priests used to yammer on about. Whatever comes _after_ I guess."

"You're not dead either, little one."

Little one. That jangled something in the back of her mind. Only one person called her that. "Loki?"

"Yes, Erna." Despite his grin, she spotted tears in his eyes as well.

"You're mine," she blurted out, earning a bark of laughter from him.

"I am indeed yours." Tears now flowed steadily down his cheeks.

"I feel so fuzzy."

"I know, little one. Rest will take care of that."

"I have so many questions."

"I'll tell you anything you want to know, Erna."

"I can't remember them." Now _she_ was crying, frustration finding the only outlet available to her.

"Shh, little one. They'll come back with rest."

"I don't know who she is, but I'm worried about her..." Fatigue again overtook her, but Loki's watery smile was the last thing she saw before the sleep came.

It took two days of drifting in and out before she started to feel like herself. But a cold brace of fear overtook her when she remembered the baby. Loki climbed into bed with her and held her tight as he reassured her over and over again that she was fine. They both were.

He'd bullied the healers into scanning her several times a day just to be sure. He hadn't realized how much he relied on Erna's reports of her wellbeing and without it he had to be reassured that his daughter was safe.

Her thoughts slowly started coming to order as the fuzziness receded. When she started asking about her father and all that had transpired, he would only tell her it was a story best saved for when she was stronger.

It took a week, but she was finally able to walk around without a hint of dizziness. It wasn't very far, just to the bathroom and back, but it was progress enough.

When she next found them alone, she decided she wouldn't take no for an answer. "Tell me what happened. Everything." It wasn't a request.

He searched her face for a long moment before resigning himself to the inevitable. "What do you remember?" He sat down beside her on the bed and took her hands in his, a gentle gesture she appreciated more than she could ever articulate.

"My father came here to kill me himself. He had a dagger. And then there was a great light and then I next remember seeing your face."

"A light?"

"Golden and strong and so incredibly hot."

"I don't know anything about that. All I know is I felt the ward warn me you’d called for help and when I came into the room seconds later you were both collapsed on the floor."

"Both?"

"Your father was unconscious almost as long as you were. We thought you'd killed him at first."

"Killed him? I didn't even touch him."

"It’s possible you’re blocking it out…” he trailed off, looking so sympathetic her heart ached. But the concern was unwarranted.

“No, Loki. My mind would have no trouble processing the details if I’d hurt or killed him myself. I pictured it so many times while he teased and taunted me, but I couldn’t work out any scenario where I wouldn’t end up dead from the effort.” She’d assumed Loki would have answers for her, but this just lead to more questions.

“I don’t understand what stopped him then.” He didn’t look pleased in his confusion.

“I just assumed it was you. I’ve been around you long enough to sense when magic is at play and it definitely was.”

“There wouldn’t have been anything left if I would have attacked him. As it is, I’m only keeping him alive long enough for you to decide what to do with him. As much as I want to eviscerate him, it’s not my decision to make.”

It may have been an odd gift for a husband to offer, but what he was giving her was precious in its own way. But Loki wasn’t finished discussing the strange incident. “Describe this light. Did it come in from the balcony? The fire?”

“It was…” She hesitated, not understanding it herself. “I think it came from me. Before I even saw the light I felt this powerful heat encompass me.”

“Heat?” He quickly focused on that detail. “So you felt yourself burning first?”

“Not exactly. I didn’t feel any pain. Loki, I know this sounds like madness—”

He cut her off with a wave of both hands. “Erna, after everything that’s happened so far, I’m open to believe just about anything. And it actually sounds like something I’m intimately familiar with.”

“It does?” Here she thought she’d have another argument on her hands to get him to believe her, but he surprised her once again.

“You’ve seen me conjure fire before.”

“You showed me once when we began our courtship, a pretty little green flame.”

“Well that’s far from all I’m capable of. I’ve wielded much larger flames on the battlefield to great effect and what you describe is how it feels when I’m summoning the strength to cast the spell. I feel like I’m baking in my own skin and yet there is no pain.”

Now she was the one staring at other with incredulity. She wasn’t trained in magic and she certainly hadn’t purposely done anything like what he’d described. “But there was no fire, only light.”

“I’m not saying it’s exactly the same, but you can’t ignore the similarities. I’ve never discussed this bit of magic with you and yet you described the feeling perfectly.” Loki continued musing, picking up momentum as he went. “It takes a terrible amount of strength to wield that kind of energy. There’s a reason I’ve only used it as a last resort. I’ve been known to pass out afterward.”

“What? You think that I did something like that? Loki, I think I’d know if I could harness that kind of magic.”

“If you weren’t still recovering from a nasty concussion I think you would have gotten to the conclusion quicker than I did.” He spread a large hand across her stomach. “You can’t, but I believe _she_ can.”

“Loki, she’s not even born yet!” In and of itself the idea of their child already having that kind of power was rather terrifying, but it immediately worried her as well. “If it drains you like that, what could it have done to her?”

“Erna, rest assured that she’s perfectly healthy. I’ve had her checked time and time again.” He wrapped one arm protectively around her and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. “Little one, I think she used your strength to cast the spell. You slept far longer than you should have given your injuries.”

“You say spell like she even knows what that means!” No matter how ridiculous it sounded in her own head, somehow she was okay with the protection from the poison, yet this new show of power horrified her. What if she’d been hurt? “She can’t talk or read or _anything_ yet!”

“You were able to feel her before, Erna. Check her to be sure. Is she in distress?”

She tried to calm her breathing and focused on her daughter, calling out to her with her thoughts. As she sat silently clutching her belly, she felt like an idiot for even attempting it like this. Before when she’d felt the baby’s mood, it was like the child was sending it to her rather than her seeking it out. She wasn’t even sure if this way was possible.

It took several minutes of concentration, but eventually she felt a little bloom of _something_ that felt like consciousness. “Loki, talk to her.”

“What?”

“She likes it when you talk to her. I’ve felt her clearly before when you’ve done it.”

“I… what should I say?”

“You speak to her most nights when you think I’m asleep and _now_ you’re tongue tied?”

He gave her a startled glare, but she spotted a stain of blush across his cheeks before he bent to obey her request. For such a smart man he could be remarkably thick sometimes. “Tiny one.” She couldn’t help but smile at the moniker. “It’s your father.”

“She knows who you are.” It came out without a thought and she knew it to be absolutely true.

He continued. “I’m beginning to understand exactly what you did for your mother and I’m extremely grateful. Do me a favor and let her know you’re all right.”

Almost immediately she felt the warm, happy sensation she’d known before and she started weeping with the joy and relief of it. “She’s fine,” she gasped when she saw Loki’s desolate expression at her tears.

They held each other for a long while, each finally accepting the fact that all was well. The bed rest they kept forcing on her would mend her body, but already she felt grounded and more serene than she had in weeks. She was with Loki, their daughter was strong and happy, and her family was safe. They could handle whatever was left to deal with, she was certain of that.


	37. Chapter 37

Erna made sure Tora was released as soon as she was able. Loki would have rather kept her confined “just for good measure,” but she wouldn’t have her punished for misplacing her trust in a fit of young love. Anyone who looked upon her could tell the girl was simply devastated when she learned the truth. And although physically she was no worse the wear from her time in the cell, she now had a guarded, wary look to her that Erna hoped would soften with time.

Though it was far from her fault, Erna felt she had to try and make amends for the devastation wrought by her father. She offered Tora several options and let the girl choose what she thought was best. But she surprised everyone by forgoing the generous offer of a country estate complete with enough gold to live in comfort the rest of her life. She didn’t even want her old position in Alfheim back. No, she only wanted to stay in Erna’s service to make up for the harm she’d done. And no matter how many times Erna explained that she didn’t blame her for anything that happened and that she didn’t need to make up anything, Tora just stubbornly shook her head and insisted. It was the first time Erna had ever see her stand up for herself.

Even using the impending birth as a potential deterrent didn’t go as Erna planned. Instead of greeting the idea of sleepless nights and increased work to come with grim determination as Bera had, Tora’s face lit up at the prospect of attending to the little princess. And even if Loki didn’t care for the idea, he kept it to himself until they were alone that evening.

“You would have someone who tried to kill you care for our child?”

“Come now, Loki! You know she had no idea what she was doing and was duped into thinking she was helping. You’d think that after everything that happened she’d want as far from my family as possible, but no it’s just ramped up her loyalty instead. I honestly think it would take a battalion of soldiers to keep her from our employ. You of all people should see the need for a second chance.”

“It doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“As long as you don’t make that known to her, I’m fine with that.”

“You know, you’re quite a commanding queen,” he appraised her with one raised eyebrow. She merely stared back placidly waiting for the jibe. “Now I don’t know that giving you such power was a good idea. How can I possibly do as I please when the queen directs me otherwise?”

“Well, if you truly regret it, my king, then I can certainly retire to the estate in Alfheim and run that for the rest of my life.” The dramatic gesture lost a bit of its impact when she had to struggle to get off of the couch, but he got the point.

Laughing, he drew her back down into his lap, simply grinning at the crossed arms and feigned pout. “Please pardon my impudence, oh great and glorious queen. You can count me as your most loyal servant.” He made the pronouncement in florid, ringing tones reminiscent of a bad stage actor.

She fought back a smile and replied with frost dripping from her words. “I have no need of another servant. You’ll have to fill another roll.”

“I would be an excellent consort. I could lounge around all day in an appallingly revealing outfit, waiting for you to return from a day of wise governance. I would devote my nights to worshiping my queen and fulfilling her every wanton desire.”

“You already do that,” she grumbled. “Although more _appallingly revealing_ outfits might be in order.”

“You have but to ask, my queen.”

Unable to stand it any longer, she flung her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a giggling kiss. “Like it or not, you’re _already_ mine, Loki.”

“Oh I do like it, rest assured. Although I wish you would have mentioned my failings, little one.”

“Failings?”

“Evidently I wear entirely too many clothes for your liking.” Without any apparent strain, he scooped her up and carried her into their bedchamber. “I can rectify my mistake and demonstrate just how little clothing I can wear in the service to my queen.”

“Be quick about it then.”

Despite all the teasing, he laid her on the bed with the utmost care and removed her garments slowly and carefully. It wasn’t that the passion with which they’d once torn at each other’s clothing was gone, but her current state didn’t really allow for that kind of vigor. But some new well of tenderness seemed to have taken Loki over since her return from Midgard. He treated her with such utter care and affection it never ceased to thrill her.

Now he slid into place behind her in the only position they were able to use of late. Slotted together on their sides, Loki’s hands roved over her body, caressing and teasing as he pressed soft kisses to the back of her neck and shoulders. She felt absolutely cherished as he gently lifted her leg to rest on his hip as he readied her for him. Gone were the joking words, instead replaced with endearments murmured into her ear as he slid into her.

Loki did all the work, slowly thrusting in and out while using his dexterous hands to tempt even more pleasure from her body. Even as slow as he took it, her heightened hormones ensured her first orgasm came quickly. And despite the sensitivity, he coaxed two more from her before he reached his own climax.

It was languid and sweet and more fulfilling than she thought possible. There was a time when she thought if she wasn’t begging him to tear her clothes off it was somehow _less_ , but now she knew better. As he held her while their breathing returned to normal, she felt how achingly intimate this was, and something she never expected to feel with this man that proposed marriage with the same shrewdness he used to govern his people.

Silent tears tracked down her face as she fully accepted what part of her had known for a long time. She loved him. And despite the fact that she could never tell him so, the acknowledgment of it was a kind of strange comfort. Letting go of the need to fight it was cathartic.

As soon as he noticed she was crying, he maneuvered her around to face her and gathered her against his chest. “Little one, what is it?”

“Just… overwhelmed.” It wasn’t a lie. The new awareness she felt was so weighty. And as freeing as it was to admit it to herself, the feelings were so vast and fierce.

He didn’t reply immediately, piercing eyes searching her face for signs of distress. When he did speak, it was with grave seriousness that belied his concern. “What can I do?”

“You’re doing it right now.”

Loki quietly nodded and kissed the top of her head before pulling her closer. They stayed like that for a long time while thoughts swirled about her head in a silent storm.

**-XXX-**

The next morning, Erna decided it was time to settle the matter with her father once and for all. She wouldn’t have any part of the business lingering over them while they made the final preparations for the birth of their daughter.

Loki didn’t exactly agree with her, but he understood it all the same. He would have gladly dealt with the man himself to save Erna the effort, but they both knew that wouldn’t stand. She needed the closure that would only come with a final confrontation with the man that tried to end her.

She gave the issue great thought, even weighing the options of where to carry out the sentencing. In the end, she decided the throne room would anger him more than anywhere else. That and she’d be able to sit without showing weakness during the proceedings. More than just for Reynard’s sake, this would send a message to the entire court and it had to be carefully crafted.

She donned the finest gown that accommodated her belly, pinned a rich, thick cloak on, and let her circlet complete the ensemble. With all the health issues that had beset her, many at the hands of her father, it was important the court see her healthy and more than capable of holding her position. For many, this would be the first time seeing her in weeks. And for his part, Loki wore his full armor, complete with towering horned helmet. She had to admit to herself that they made a most imposing pair.

They sat on the dais as a small contingent of guards escorted Reynard across the hall. Loki looked briefly uncomfortable, as if remembering a distasteful memory as the man was brought forward, shackles jangling in the still air.

Without glancing her way, Loki reached over and took her hand as he spoke. “Reynard Skamkelson of Alfheim. You stand charged with treason of the highest degree.” The prisoner remained silent, staring daggers at them. “Normally you would be afforded the right of a trial, but as you confessed your ill deeds directly to the queen, I see no need for that now.”

A small ripple of surprise passed through the crowd. Erna assumed very little of what actually happened made it to the lords and ladies and this bit of information was likely a shock. Loki continued, ignoring the murmurs. “Before your sentence is passed, you will answer the queen’s questions.”

“She is not _my_ queen.”

“I’m sure she’d rather not claim you either.” He waved his free hand in mock exasperation. “Yet here we are.”

“I won’t beg mercy from you, trickster.”

A predatory grin spread slowly across Loki’s sharp face. It was only a smile in name though and one Erna decided she would never want directed at her. The feral gleam in his eyes would have made a sane man cower, but Reynard was beyond reason and started stupidly back up at him. “Still haven’t learned yet, have you? You’re a fool, elf. _I_ _’m_ not the one you need to beg to.” With that pronouncement he took their joined hands and brushed his lips lightly over her knuckles. “However you wish to proceed, my queen.”

He gently squeezed her hand and brought it to rest on his leg, offering her silent support. It wasn’t so much that she wanted it, but that he was offering it up if she had need of it. “Tell me of Rania. Where is she?” She asked more out of love for the children than her stepmother, but it did trouble her that no trace of the woman had been found. By all accounts she’d left the estate in Alfheim with a small personal guard never to make it to Asgard. Erna supposed she could be holed up somewhere waiting for Reynard, but she just wasn’t sure.

Still defiant, he didn’t soften the news. “Dead. She was all fine to talk about how undeserving you were of that throne, but when it came time to do something about it she wanted to run off and warn you.”

Something tightened in Erna’s gut and she swallowed back the unexpected emotions that came along with the news. She’d never gotten along with her stepmother, but she didn’t deserve her fate. “How did it happen?” She needed to know, not only for herself, but for the children. It might not be appropriate to tell them details now, but when they were older they had a right to know.

“She was the test. The same elixir you’re familiar with, daughter.” After everything he still seemed proud of himself. It sickened her to even be in the same room with him. She felt stirrings of the same intense heat that had protected her before, but sent a warning thought to the baby and it fizzled out as quickly as it had come. It was clearly the child’s instinct to protect her mother, but the last thing they needed was the entire court to know of her abilities. She didn’t want people to fear the little princess before she’d even properly joined the world. Fear would breed hate and… well it didn’t bear thinking about unless it came to that.

Instead, she chose to ignore the jeering tone and focus on the information that she needed from him. “And her guard?”

“Enjoyed the same stew as she did while on the road to Asgard. If they would have kept a better guard over the pot, I wouldn’t have been able to dose them so easily.” The crowd grew restless, shocked at these new revelations and whispering amongst themselves. Erna couldn’t blame them. The way he was coolly confessing his villainy would be shocking even if she hadn’t known the man her whole life.

Suddenly the details of his deplorable scheme didn’t matter to her any longer. He was getting far too much pleasure out of the questioning and she’d gained the major bit of information she’d been seeking. “Your evil deeds grow worse by the minute, old man. I won’t have the court endure any more of your bile.”

With that pronouncement the room again grew silent, everyone unsure of what was coming. Startling the assemblage, she turned to Loki and asked him a question in the same tone she’d use to inquire about dinner. “Husband, I once heard you threaten to banish my father to Hel without doing him the kindness of killing him first. That wasn’t an empty offer, was it?”

“Oh no, my queen.” She could feel the air crackle as he began to pull on his magic. “It would be the work of an instant to send him to Hel.” Everyone, Reynard included, seemed taken aback by their exchange, conversing as if they were the only ones in the room.

“No doubt Hel would be a miserable place to die, but die he would, eventually.”

“Ah, but it would be a most _horrific_ death. If the dead didn’t make quick work of the aberration in their realm, then Hel herself would see to him personally. But what she’d do with him… well that would be up to her. She has no love of the living.”

“I don’t know that this villain deserves the release of death. And Hel may be unpredictable.” She made a show of considering the problem, everyone in the cavernous room hanging on the queen’s next words. “What of Jotunheim?”

“The ice would take him far quicker than anything he’d encounter in Hel, my queen.”

“Not if you worked a spell, husband. A spell trapping him in that realm, yet making him unable to succumb to the dangers of it.” They’d never discussed anything specifically like this, but Erna recognized this as something he could grant. After her initial request to better understand his magic, Loki had explained many concepts to her over the past year. She had more than a basic understanding of his limits and capabilities. He’d traveled between realms before himself and could no doubt use all the skills he’d honed over centuries of practice. He could do this for her, of that she was sure.

“You mean to make him impervious to the cold and ice?”

“Impervious yes, but unfeeling no.” She finally looked back at her now silent father. “I want him to feel every frost burn, every frigid wind, every _misery_ the unforgiving landscape has to offer. I want him to wish for a death that will never come, because the mercy of death is too good for a man such as him.” She was standing now, voice ringing across the hall, full of power and menace. “Think, Reynard. Think upon all you have done and those you have harmed with your treasonous plot.”

Slowly, she walked down to where he stood, staying on the last step so she could look down upon him. “When you long for death and curse your existence, I want you to remember what led you there. You have nobody to blame but yourself.” She turned to her husband, eyes bright with unshed tears that he alone was allowed to witness her shed. “ _That_ is how we will punish such vile treason, is it not?”

“I’ll do as my queen decrees.” He motioned to Reynard’s guards. “Take him back to his cell. I must prepare for such a complicated task.” Loki stood and joined his wife on the edge of the dais. “Enjoy your last hours of freedom, elf.” Leaning down and all but whispering, he had one last thought to offer his father-in-law. “I warned you, Reynard. I warned you what would happen if you had so much as a cross word to say about her. You deserve all you get.”

Without another glance back, the pair crossed the room, letting the crowd part around them in silent obeisance. No one present in the room that day would ever be able to look at the queen the same way again.


	38. Chapter 38

It was over. It had taken him several hours of raiding his potion stores, scribbling calculations, and scouring his private library for a specific tome, but he’d done as she had asked. Reynard was banished to a remote waste in Jotunheim, never to return again. Loki assured her that even if he was sitting on top of one of the hidden rifts that led to one of the other realms, he’d be unable to use it.

The court, many of whom had never actually seen the king’s magic first hand, watched in shocked silence as he gathered his power and worked the spells around the condemned. The tricky part, she’d learn later, was not the banishment itself, for it would be quick work simply to transport him to Jotunheim. No, the ancillary spells she’d requested to keep him safe from harm and yet able to feel the pain of every harsh lesson the frost giants’ realm could offer were the complication. Loki had to be precise when casting to ensure he got it right. These kinds of spells weren’t in anyone’s standard repertoire and he’d told her how delicate it could be to create something like that from scratch.

There was utter silence as he worked, muttering almost inaudibly to himself as he waked a slow circuit around the prisoner. And while he didn’t beg for mercy, much of her father’s bluster had evaporated in the light of his sentence. She felt nothing but hatred looking at him.

When it was done, Loki took her arm and headed to their chambers, grateful nobody had the nerve to follow. Once they’d emerged into the empty corridor, she noticed the dragging steps and how much weight he was putting on her. With great difficulty, they managed to get him back to their bedroom, Loki collapsing on the bed as soon as it was within reach.

“You’re exhausted,” she observed with horror, guilt blooming in her chest. He’d gone through all this for her regardless of what damage it meant for himself. For the first time she began to regret her decision, but not for her father’s sake.

“I’m simply depleted, little one. Nothing a bit of sleep won’t mend.” He reached over and took the hand hanging limply at her side. “I didn’t do anything beyond my abilities, Erna. No need to look like I’m on my death bed.”

“But you’re so pale and—”

“I wouldn’t have done this if it wasn’t within my power. If it would have been necessary I would have enlisted Heimdall’s aid if I thought I needed it. Don’t berate yourself. I did this for all of us.” He tugged her forward so he could put her hand to his lips, pressing a lingering kiss to her palm. “Trust me, I wouldn’t have done anything to endanger getting to see our daughter safely into the world.”

She nodded and evaluated Loki’s position. Weak as a kitten, he’d only made it halfway onto the bed, his long legs now hanging over the side. “Promise you’ll be back to tromping around the castle in no time?”

“I promise, although I do not tromp.” About all he had the energy to do was scowl, but even that was half-hearted. He was more than relieved to have this over with.

She bent to remove his boots, as she knew he’d balk at having one of the maids help him undress. He didn’t keep a valet to help him, because between his magic and now Erna, one wasn’t really necessary. Now she could do with a strong pair of hands, but more than that she wanted to be alone, so it was left to her. “You do tromp, but don’t worry, I love it.” For a moment she froze, trying to tug the stubborn leather away from his foot. It was stupid of her to blurt something out like that, but she was thankful he couldn’t see her face.

It was only the work of a few more moments to get him free of the boots and lift his legs into bed with the rest of him. When she looked up, panting a bit from the exertion, the wide grin on his face surprised her. “And what is that for?”

“A man can’t be happy his wife’s life is no longer under constant threat?” He managed to look as innocent as possible, which for Loki wasn’t saying much.

“A man can, but you are no ordinary man, sire.”

“I am in one regard.” He actually waggled his eyebrows at her. “Care to see where?”

“You are barely able to move anything right now, Loki!”

“For you, my queen, I’m sure I could manage to find an untapped reserve of energy. Particularly when I remember how impressive you looked today.”

“What you will _manage_ , my dear, delirious husband, is to help me divest you of the rest of this clothing so I can get you situated before I call for dinner. Then you will _manage_ to tell our daughter the story of her father’s brave deeds today before we both succumb to some much-needed sleep.”

“I let you sentence one criminal and the power goes straight to your head.”

“The magic has clearly scrambled your wits if you think that was humorous.” But despite her harsh words, she bent to kiss him rather more vigorously than he’d expected. It was true that not all of him was dead tired. When they broke apart, her tone was much gentler. “The sooner I can have the food brought in, the sooner I can be rid of my own clothes and join you in bed.”

They followed her admittedly sensible plan and after their meal, settled into their regular sleeping positions. His playful manner was gone, replaced with curious concern. “Are you satisfied at the outcome, little one?”

“Satisfied is the wrong word, but I think we handled it in the best way possible, yes.”

“It is a great relief to know it’s over. I had no idea just how worrisome it all actually was until it was finished.”

The food had brought some color back to his pallid face, but he was still weaker than she was comfortable with. But however much she hated it, he knew his own limits. “I wish I had magic to heal you instantly,” she mused aloud.

“And I wish I was powerful enough to restore those he took from you.”

Ever since Reynard’s revelation she’d been mulling over what to do with the new information he’d given her. And although she’d all but solidified her plan, she found herself actually _needing_ to discuss it with Loki. Not out of any desire for approval, but because she really did see him as a partner. He’d support her no matter what, but wouldn’t shy away from voicing his true opinions either.

“I want to try and find my mother.”

He carefully considered her words before replying in mild voice. “You may not like what you find, little one.”

“I know that there’s… that she might be dead or terrible or something worse that I can’t even fathom, but I feel like I need to do this. What if I have other half brothers and sisters out there? What if she’s trapped in a bad situation that I can get her out of?”

“I just don’t want you to think you owe her anything just because she’s your mother. If you find her and it turns out… poorly, then there’s nothing wrong with moving on, Erna. I’m not trying to discourage you, but I just want us to be realistic about what could happen.”

“I know,” she said softly.

“Can you trust what he told you about her?” He was loath to believe anything spewed by such an abhorrent creature, but was reluctant to ask her outright if the man lied to her. He could tell how hopeful she was to find the woman and would do anything not to see that hope dashed.

“I’ve thought about that a lot. I don’t think he lied. He was trying to deal out as much pain as possible before finally killing me. He truly thought he’d won. There was no reason to lie. He was utterly guileless at that point.”

“If this is what you want, we’ll send messengers across the realms to see if she can be found. Tomorrow we’ll sit down and make a list of everything you know about her, any detail that might help the search.”

“Thank you, Loki. Your support means the world to me.”

“I’ll help however I can. But you have a tremendous heart, bigger than most people realize and I don’t want it hurt.”

A ghost of a smile crossed her lips as craned her neck to look up at him. “I could say the same about you, you know.”

“I am a power-hungry reprobate only out for my own political gains, didn’t you know that?”

“Horseshit. I never would have married such a man. And I am an excellent judge of character.”

“You alway seem to see the best in me. How is that so?”

 _I love you, you idiot_ , she thought, wishing she didn’t have to guard her words around him of all people. Instead she replied, “Because you let me get to know who you truly are.”

“Honestly my wisest choice as king.”

They lapsed into a comfortable silence for several minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. The dose of reality he’d given her, while dispelling some of the outlandish scenarios she’d be unconsciously constructing, also helped her understand that whatever the outcome of the search, she could still act in the way that was best for her. Well, best for their family really. She would take whatever came, good or bad, but at least she’d know.

Her thoughts came back Sigun and Eryk. “I have to figure out how to explain this to the children. How to tell them about their mother.”

“That,” he pressed a kiss to the top of her head before continuing, “is best left for tomorrow. You deserve an untroubled rest now. You’ve been so strong and brave, little one. I don’t know how you’ve done it to tell the truth of it.”

“How _I_ _’ve_ done it? I was useless and bedridden through most of it. You carried a very large burden throughout all this, Loki.”

“You haven’t been, nor will you ever be a burden, Erna. I don’t like that kind of talk from you.”

She didn’t want to argue, not when all finally seemed calm. Instead she told him what had happened during the questioning. “While my father was being particularly vicious today, our daughter started summoning the energy to attack him again.”

“She did?” He raised his head in astonishment, frustrated when the strain made him have to lay it back almost immediately. “What made her stop?”

“I did. I told her it wasn’t necessary and that I was fine to handle things myself. It stopped immediately.”

“Tiny one,” he now spoke directly to her stomach, “all is well now. Just rest and concentrate on getting ready to join us. Your mother and I will be fine in the meantime.”

“Have I mentioned how much she loves hearing you speak to her?”

“And I don’t tire of hearing it, so don’t stop on my account.” With that he began the story she’d requested earlier. She fell asleep running her fingers through his hair as he weaved the tale for their daughter, more content than she thought was possible.


	39. Chapter 39

It was several more days before Eir fully rescinded her rest order, although it was taken only with the threat of imposing it again if she saw even the tiniest fluctuation of blood pressure or the multitude of other things that were now being checked daily. Only Eir would give a patient freedom only to dangle the threat of confinement over their heads while she did it. But at least the removal of the constant threat of death had done wonders for her vitals, so she’d take any victory she could get over the severe physician.

But Erna didn’t care. She was just happy to have her freedom again. Well, of a fashion anyway. Her bulk seemed to grow by the minute, making real activity all but impossible, but she walked around the palace all the same. Her pace was always frustratingly slow, but infinitely better than staying in their chambers all day and night.

Much to Loki’s annoyance, his duties, mostly ignored during the crisis, took him away from Erna for hours at a time. Something about what had happened made him reluctant to leave her for any significant portion of time. She assured him over and over again that it didn’t upset her and resorted to scolding him when he tried to shirk his responsibilities too often.

She appreciated his desire to spend time with her, but now that the ordeal was behind them, she was perfectly fine to occupy herself elsewhere while he dealt with his obligations as king. Erna did yearn for her return to the council and the rest of her regular duties, but knew that as soon as she tried, it would likely land her in bed at the first vigorous council debate. There was something about Lord Volsung’s smug face that just begged to be debated with in the most exuberant way. No, she would wait instead and try to see it as the calm before the storm. Rest would be in short supply once the baby came.

The children were an excellent distraction. Although upset over the death of their mother, they were adapting to palace life quickly. Sigun had already taken to visiting Erna each morning before classes to read to her. And although she was more than familiar with the stories the girl chose, she wouldn’t trade the time for anything. Already growing faster than she would have thought possible, Erna knew there wouldn’t be much time left to enjoy her sister as a child.

As it was, Eryk was already stopping studies early each day to train with the palace quartermaster. It was only a matter of years before he’d be a full-fledged soldier. She was already displeased to find out he was set on that path and would listen to none of her suggestions about politics and business as possible vocations. She sighed ruefully at the thought. Maybe he’d grow out of it and choose something that wouldn’t leave her sick with worry every night. But she probably wasn’t that lucky. The boy was as headstrong as she was.

This was probably why parenthood no longer scared her. She’d partially raised the children and was already used to thinking about their wellbeing, schooling, and a hundred other things. Loki, on the other hand, was new to it all, but was wading in and helping eagerly. He handled their new tutors, chose their rooms and saw to it that they were outfitted appropriately. When she thanked him for it one night, he simply shrugged and said that they were partners and it just wouldn’t do to expect her to handle everything.

Life quickly settled into a pleasing routine and after all the turmoil her father left in his wake, she was grateful for a little bit of mundane.

One afternoon Erna found herself on the balcony, flatly ignoring the books she’d brought with her. She felt silly, but she couldn’t stop herself.

“Hello, Mother.” She took a deep breath, feeling an idiot for speaking to her dead mother-in-law in this manner, but it gave her comfort. “We think my time is close. You’re going to be a grandmother very soon. I hope you aren’t angered that we’re not calling her Frigga. I just don’t want any sadness for Loki when he looks upon his daughter.

“He’s going to be a wonderful father, but he’s terrified. He tries not to show it to me, but I see it. I know Odin was your beloved, but he did damage to my husband and I can’t find a warm spot in my heart for him. Loki is so worried he’ll end up a distant father, but I have no fears. He’ll see her and love her.

“My heart may very well burst when I finally get to see them together. She’s going to be powerful, Mother. We’ve seen all she’s already able to do not even born yet. Loki will have his hands full instructing her in the proper uses of magic. And I’ll have my hands full making sure he doesn’t allow her to turn any disagreeable courtiers into bilgesnipe. Loki’s definition of proper and mine don’t always intersect.”

Erna smiled, feeling rueful and rubbed her hands over her distended belly. “It’s going to be a good life, a happy one. My daughter deserves it and so does Loki.”

It was several more moments before she got the courage to voice what she wanted to say aloud. Talking in her sleep didn’t count. “I wish he loved me.” Tears pricked the corner of her eyes, but she continued. “And I wish I could just tell him that. But he’s so blind to some things! He actually heard me say it while I was unconscious and thought I spoke of _Thor_ of all people.

“I know Thor is your son too and I love him as I would a brother, but if Loki thinks I’m meant to love someone like that… well, it feels like he doesn’t know me at all. You raised two very different sons, Mother. And I love the one that doesn’t believe love is possible.”

She laughed sadly as a few tears fell down her cheeks. “This arrangement, as Loki calls it, has given me so much joy, but sadness as well. But I suppose I have it better than many wives in my situation. He’s fond of me, he’s kind to me, and he’ll love our child, of that I’m certain. It will have to be enough that _I_ love _him_.

“I’m probably just maudlin because of the baby. The healers told me to expect mood changes and an excess of emotions. Not to mention the cravings! I’m sure you had some strange ones with Thor.” The thought made her chuckle. “He probably demanded mead from the womb.

“This little one wants something sweet right now, so I’ll try and oblige her. Maybe there will be something to her liking in the kitchens.” With much heaving and rocking, she managed to free herself from the chair. Before turning to leave, she spoke again. “Thank you, Mother. You always manage to make me feel better despite not being able to reply to me. We love you.”

She walked in from the balcony, dreading the time it would take her to waddle down to the kitchens. But walking was good for her, providing she didn’t push herself. She could always rest once she got there, enjoy a nice cup of tea, and catch up on the staff gossip. It sounded like a most agreeable way to spend her afternoon.

Just inside the chamber’s archway stood Loki, unreadable expression on his face. She quickly wiped at her cheeks, hoping to disguise the fact she’d been crying, but he didn’t seem to notice. In fact, he stood so still, she wondered if he even knew she was there.

“Loki?” When he didn’t answer, she called louder. “Loki!”

He peered forward, not looking at her, but he finally spoke. “I heard.”

“Heard what, husband?” Trying to keep her voice light, she couldn’t help but feel a stab of panic.

“All of it. I ended my meetings meeting early today so we could spend the afternoon together and I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I heard.” He still wasn’t meeting her gaze, looking more shocked than angry.

She struggled with what she should or even _could_ say. Refuting it wasn’t an option. In her heart she knew she couldn’t deny it just because she hadn’t meant to divulge this secret to him. The daring, fearless part of her was glad he’d heard, and wanted to take whatever jeering insult he could muster. As awful as it would feel, maybe it would somehow soften the blow that she felt sure was coming.

They stood in silence, each working things through. As she seemed suddenly mute, he spoke first. “I can’t, Erna.”

“Can’t?” His statement wasn’t one she was expecting.

“I can’t allow this. You shouldn’t love me.”

“Don’t you think I know that, Loki?!” She stalked forward, suddenly angry that this man thought he had the right to tell her how she should feel. “I _know_ how you feel on the subject. When you told me your plan on that first night you made it quite clear you didn’t believe people like us could ever expect love.”

He didn’t interrupt what was beginning to be a true tirade. “The world is a cruel fucking place, I know that. But somehow we ended up together and I started to think that I was lucky. Even with everything that’s happened, I _still_ feel that I am lucky. But NO! I shouldn’t feel the way I do. Fuck you, Loki. You can tell yourself whatever you want about it being my hormones or stress or _anything_. I don’t care. But don’t you dare tell me what to do with my own emotions.”

She seethed with hurt and anger, breath coming out in ragged pants. Unconsciously, her hands had come to rest on her belly, as if wanting to protect her daughter from such harsh words.

“Erna-”

She stopped him immediately, not ready to let him speak. “But you _will_ love her. You will. I won’t subject her to this kind of pain. You are capable of it and just because you can’t love me, doesn’t mean that our daughter needs to suffer. She deserves all of her father. You _will_ do this for me.” It struck him how much she sounded like a queen. As reluctant as she might have been to take that mantle, she’d grown into the position.

“You don’t understand.” He looked as deflated and weary as she’d ever seen him. Pity tried to override her other feelings, but she tamped it down.

“No, I understand everything, Loki. That’s why it hurts so fucking much. For once in my life I’m starting to see how ignorance could be blissful.” As she feared, hot tears started to run down her face. An errant thought struck her that she’d let this man see her cry far too often.

“I couldn’t bear to inflict the suffering that comes along with my love, Erna. I can’t do that to you.”

“Because clearly I’m not suffering already.” Despite the tears, she couldn’t let go of her defiance. It offered her something to hold on to, a kind of invisible talisman as so much else fell apart.

“This is my fault.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t as advertised,” she shouted. “The heartless political partner turned into a blubbering mess. You probably should have chosen another man instead of a weak-willed woman. I’m such a hopeless creature, falling for our own sham.”

“Enough!” He roared the word, face now red with something she assumed was rage. “I won’t have you belittling yourself, especially when you don’t comprehend the situation.”

“Then explain it to your poor confused wife and be sure to use small words!” She’d be damned if he was going to leave it at such a mysterious pronouncement.

“You don’t have to ask for my love, because you already have it.”

She felt as if she’d hit a wall while running at full speed. It stunned her. “Don’t…” Her voice broke as she stared up into his enigmatic eyes. “Don’t say something like that if you don’t mean it. I didn’t think you cruel, but if you’re just saying this to spare me…”

“I don’t lie to you, Erna,” he said simply.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to surrender to the idea without further thought. “But you’ve never said it until now, until I practically forced you.”

“I haven’t said the words, because you don’t deserve the burden. But I fell in love with you, Erna. How could I not?”

“Burden?” The familiar anger flared up again. “Burden? You think I haven’t felt the burden of this secret that I feared more than almost anything? I was petrified of even saying it aloud, because I _knew_ you wouldn’t reciprocate.”

“I was afraid of saying it too, you know. I tried to just show you in actions, but you assumed it was no more than mere fondness.”

“What was I _supposed_ to believe, Loki? Reality or the faith in some fantastical daydream? You, of all people, have shown me the truth behind power and privilege.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For everything. For loving you when I shouldn’t, for not showing you when I couldn’t stop myself, for not letting you know every second how precious you are to me. But mostly for letting you believe that I was incapable of loving you.” He reached forward and softly brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Please don’t cry, little one.”

It struck her how much love she felt from that simple epithet. “I wouldn’t be crying if you weren’t so stubborn.”

“I’ll take all the blame, but I’ll promise to do everything I can from causing you further tears.”

“You can make me cry, as long as it’s out of happiness.”

“I agree to your amended proposition.” He wrapped his arms around her and the familiar sense of balance came, as it always did when she was tucked in beside him. “I love you, Erna.”

“I love you too, Loki.”

“I’m so sorry for everything.”

“Then stop apologizing. Let me be happy that you love me.” The worry she’d been living with finally evaporated. She felt free and safe and didn’t want him to over think things and ruin it.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he murmured into her hair.

“We’re already doing it and neither of us realized it.” It hit her that Thor had known before either of them, a fact she wasn’t inclined to bring up at the moment.

“And I thought we were meant to be the smart ones in the palace.”

“Clearly we’re the most idiotic king and queen to ever grace the throne. They’ll tell stories about us.” She giggled at the thought and maneuvered herself around so her stomach wasn’t keeping them so far apart. Their embrace turned into an awkward side hug, but she wanted to be as close to him as possible.

He placed one of his large hands gently on her stomach. “I love her already,” he whispered. “Please don’t worry about that.”

“So you admit I’m right about it being a girl.”

“Why not? You’ve been right about practically everything else.” He chuckled, enjoying this new sense of _something_ he’d never felt before. He had no idea if it was freedom or peace or if there was even a proper word for it, but it was gratifying all the same.

He held her and savored the smell of rosemary and mint in her hair, the feel of her fitting so perfectly in his arms. There was still doubt, there would likely _always_ be doubt. There was still a voice in his head telling him that he didn’t deserve her. It was the same voice that told him this happiness couldn’t last, but right now he was able to push it aside and believe that the two of them could weather whatever came in life.

A flutter of movement under his hand brought him back to the moment. Gone for a second, it returned with more vigor. Erna laughed as he frantically pressed both hands over her stomach, searching for more movement. “She’s kicking, Loki, that’s all. She’s happy.”

“Happy?”

“I can feel it. She’s got this warm little glow.” The healers still didn’t believe that she knew what the baby wanted or felt so clearly, but she was long past caring. Their child was clearly extraordinary and it didn’t take a medical professional to tell her that.

“You may not be able to wield magic, but you _must_ be sensitive to it. I haven’t been able to find an account of a mother having such a strong tie to their child.”

“You’ve researched me?”

“I tried to. I’ve scoured the library for anything referencing what you’ve described. There have been children born with magic, but never to someone aware of their gifts while still in the womb. The pair of you are unique.”

“It took stacks of old books to tell you that?” She quirked an eyebrow, enjoying teasing him.

“Just getting confirmation of what I already suspected. You two are mine and that alone makes you unique, but I do believe we have a very special child on our hands.”

“Any child of yours is bound to be precocious.”

“And I suppose you were an easy thing to wrangle? I can just picture you climbing trees and running away from your nannies as they tried to dress you in something they deemed appropriate.”

“I refused shoes until I was six,” she told him with a beatific smile.

“Ah, so I see we’ll probably be in for more of the same. Are you up for it, little one?”

“Absolutely… on one condition.”

“Name it.”

“Let me attend your magic lessons with her when it comes to that. I know I can’t wield it, but I want to at least know what you two know. It might help me better understand you both.”

“I would…” he coughed, overcome with some strong emotion. “I would love that and I know she will too. I can’t tell you how much that would have meant to me as a child.”

They stayed silent for several more minutes before he spoke again. When he did, his tone was tentative, almost afraid. “Erna, there’s something I’d like to show you.”

She looked up into his serious countenance, unable to gauge what he wanted. “Of course, Loki. What is it?”

“Sit down, prop your feet up and I’ll go get it.”

Erna had no idea what he might be about to produce, and figured it would be best experienced sitting down. She set about making herself comfortable (a lengthy task these days), while Loki disappeared into his study. She tried not to worry herself. After everything they’d finally admitted to one another, she doubted much could ruin her day.

Whatever she’d expected, it wasn’t the envelope he presented her with a few minutes later. It was blank, but sported Loki’s personal seal in neat gold wax. She took it and looked up expectantly at her husband.

“I thought a lot while you were gone, little one. And I wrote this with no intention of ever showing it to you. But now I want you to know that what I said to you today wasn’t an impulse. It wasn’t something I’ll regret later. Please read it.”

“Okay,” she replied simply, breaking the seal.

She saw it was a letter addressed to her and began to read.

> _My dearest Erna,_
> 
> _You’ve only been gone a few days, but already I feel like it’s been weeks. I find myself reduced to such maudlin banalities and though I normally would be disgusted by such weakness, I no longer care. It’s the truth. And I know I always swore to tell you the truth, but there are some things I just can’t say to you. I lie to myself and say that I’m not actually deceitful with you if you don’t ask a direct question, but that just helps me justify my actions. Maybe putting this down here will help._
> 
> _I don’t know how else to say this, but I love you. Those words sound so much more trivial than the reality of my feelings for you. Love. It’s a weakness, isn’t it? We said as much when we talked that first night. And it is, but one I feel the stronger for having. You see how absurd my logic has become. But again I don’t really care._
> 
> _I love you._
> 
> _I shouldn’t, I know that. It’s why I haven’t told you the thousands of times I’ve wanted to. I have no right to burden you with something like this. It’s because I love you that I don’t think I should tell you._
> 
> _It’s not all altruistic though. I’m terrified that a confession of this nature will frighten you away and I couldn’t bare that. Just these few days apart have made me realize that a life without you in it would be empty and cruel. And I have our child to think of now too. The two of you have brought me such bliss, and while I know I don’t deserve it, I’ll take it all the same._
> 
> _I don’t know how our current predicament will end, but I swear to both of you that I will fix this. Your home will be safe and when you come back to me I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you’re happy._
> 
> _This is rambling, I know, and I apologize, but I’ve barely slept since you left. I tossed and turned for hours tonight until I decided to write this missive. Maybe it will give me a measure of peace that at least I’ve admitted this somehow._
> 
> _I love and adore you, Erna. It took a long time to even admit it to myself, but I live every day hoping I’m able to convey it without words. Words are the difficult part in this, which astounds me. I’ve been called silvertongue since I was young and have rarely found myself at a loss for words. But now, I feel like the words themselves are my enemy. If I don’t tell you, they can’t hurt you._
> 
> _You’ve given me so much, little one. My life is just so much more than I ever dreamed of. Even when I was a young princeling ignorant of my true parentage and sure the whole world was at my feet. Even then, I couldn’t have conjured someone like you. You’re kind and brilliant and cunning and brave and my perfect match really. I did so much more than find the kingdom a queen when I met you._
> 
> _I’m going to try and sleep now. But even that respite is tainted by your absence. I miss you more than you’ll ever know. Come back to me soon._
> 
> _With all my love,_
> 
> _Loki_

He watched as she read, trying to gauge her reaction based on the minute changes in her expression. The nagging part of his brain that kept telling him she deserved better tried to upset him when her hand went to her mouth with a sharp intake of breath. But by now he knew his wife and he quelled the voice when he saw no signs of distress or agitation.

She must have read the letter multiple times, because she stared at it for several minutes before looking back up at him. The tenderness and love that shone in her eyes was enough to bring him to his knees, quite literally. He sunk down on the floor beside her, relief flooding through him.

“We’re done lying to each other and ourselves out of some misplaced need to protect one another. Clearly our judgment on these matters can’t be trusted and we’d be better off talking to the other. Agreed?” The words themselves were stern, but she sounded more exasperated with them than anything.

“Agreed.”

Loki raised himself back up to his full height only to be redirected into a deep kiss when Erna grasped his jerkin and pulled back him down to her level. When they pulled apart, he hovered, lips mere inches from hers. “I love you, Loki.”

“I love you more than I ever thought possible, Erna.”

A small, mischievous smile tugged at one corner of her mouth. “Care to demonstrate just how much?”

“And what did you have in mind, little one?” His voice all but purred with desire.

“First, escort me to the kitchens to satisfy my sweet tooth. Second, escort me back. Third, take me to bed and… well, I’ll leave what happens there to your brilliantly inventive mind.”

“Nothing would please me more.”


	40. Chapter 40

Something clawed at his chest insistently, pulling his focus away from the conversation he was trying to have. A one way conversation, as it happened. The maiden on the riverbank didn’t seem inclined to tell him where he was or how he’d ended up this far from the palace with no memory of how he’d gotten there.

She stayed silent, dark hair rippling gently in the breeze as he shot question after question at her. Her imperturbable face broken only by a tiny, smug smile. She appraised him with cool amber eyes, completely unconcerned with his obvious agitation.

And now something was pulling him away. The thing grasping at his tunic, though invisible, invaded the quiet space with a desperate plea. “Loki!” He still couldn’t see anything, looking around wildly for the speaker. The voice felt familiar, like someone his very molecules recognized.

But instead of getting the answer he wanted, the woman spoke a firm order instead. “You’d better listen to her. Sounds important.”

“Oh now you decide to talk? I demand to know how I got here and how I can get back!”

“I just told you,” she spoke lazily, the smile now quite prominent though no less smug. “Listen.”

The disembodied voice called again. “Loki! I need you!”

Those three words did it. He awoke with a start to find Erna trying to get his attention, one hand scrabbling at his chest and one clutched around her abdomen. “Erna, what is it? Are you hurt?”

“Hurting, but not hurt.” He had trouble parsing together her words. She must have seen his confusion and elaborated. “My waters have broken. The baby’s coming.”

Her breathing was a bit ragged, but now that she’d awoken him her tone was so maddeningly calm. Thick and stupid, his mouth couldn’t seem to catch up to his thoughts. A groggy, “what,” was all he managed in response.

“I’ve started having contractions, Loki. I’m in labor.”

“Labor?” Honestly, he was even embarrassing himself now. He mentally berated his own paralysis.

“You need to help me to the healer’s suite and see that Eir is summoned.” She hissed in a breath, face contorting in pain as another contraction hit. It was several moments before she opened her eyes again.

That was apparently the jolt he needed to regain control of himself. “Yes. Of course.” He sprang out of bed and ran around to her side, almost knocking her bedside table over in his exuberance.

Brow creased with worry, he helped her to her feet, only then noticing the sizable wet patch on her nightgown. “I should get you something clean to wear.”

The look she gave him was equal parts exasperation and adoration. “That’s very sweet, but we can send a maid to fetch what we need once I’m with the healers.”

Another thought struck him with the same frenetic speed as the first. “Should you be walking right now?”

“Loki,” she explained patiently, “it’s very early on. I should be fine to walk if you’re here to help me when a contraction comes.”

Before he could blurt out anything else, she started moving, all but dragging him along with her. Their path through the corridors proceeded at a slow pace, but no slower than she was walking anywhere of late. He was happy to note that little detail. The first guard they ran into was sent to rouse the healers and then double back and wake up Erna’s handmaidens.

As they settled her into the bed of Eir’s choosing, he struggled to define all the feelings at war within him. He was absolutely petrified, a thousand scenarios involving complications swimming through his mind, but there was also excitement and happiness. It was an eerie conglomeration of feelings he wasn’t used to experiencing all at once.

A quick examination and scan confirmed that Erna was early on in the process with everything appearing normal. Once the initial flurry of activity getting her on the bed and calibrating all the machines was done, the healers retreated to an adjoining room, giving the couple a bit of privacy.

Loki eyed the door frame with annoyance, muttering under his breath. “Shouldn’t they be _doing_ something?”

His wife, now in a fresh gown and propped up with pillows, merely smiled at him with that same calm expression. “There’s nothing much to do at the moment. We have to wait for my body to ready itself. It will probably take hours before she’s ready to come out.” Loki, never the most patient man, began to pace. She stopped him almost immediately. “Okay, that’s going to have to stop. You’ll drive me mad if you keep that up.”

He whirled around and she saw the helpless worry on his face. “What can I do to help you, little one?” There had to be something he was meant to be doing. Inaction wasn’t in his nature, never had been, at least not without a clear goal in mind.

“Sit with me and hold my hand when the contractions come, distract me with stories, anything to pass the time.”

Although he couldn't alleviate her pain as he wanted, he nevertheless did as requested. He told her of the dwarven civil war he’d fought in several centuries earlier. And because he both knew his audience and wanted to keep talking as long as necessary, he went into the underlying political issues that caused the fighting to break out.

It would have been a pleasant conversation if she hadn't been wracked with pain with increasing frequency. When the contractions hit, all he could do was offer her part of him to hold onto as she struggled to withstand it. He felt more helpless than he liked, but strove to focus on Erna and what she needed.

Everything appeared to be routine until one of the younger healers came to check the monitors. She stole a quick nervous glance at the king and queen before scurrying out of the room. She returned with Eir moments later.

The woman took one look at the readings and turned to address the anxious pair. For once, Loki was grateful that she wasn't one to mince words. “The child is in distress. Its heart rate is climbing at an alarming rate and it looks like it isn't getting enough oxygen.”

“What does that mean?” A hitch in her voice betrayed how worried she was.

“It means we have to take the child now. We no longer have the luxury of letting nature take its course. A lack of oxygen could cause all manner of problems.”

“When you say take…?” He had an idea, but didn't want to assume anything.

“We have to surgically remove the child.” Her tone was cold and clinical, black eyes ticking impatiently between the monitors and the pair of them.

“Do whatever you have to do,” Erna answered. “But I need a moment with my husband before we proceed.”

“Make it brief,” she ordered, marching from the room with the other woman in tow.

“Little one—”

She stopped him mid-sentence. “Loki, we need to calm her as best we can. She’s listened to me before and she knows your voice.”

“What… what do we need to do?”

“Talk to her. Let her know what’s happening. I’ll see if I can get through to her my way as well.”

As he’d already done so many times before, he placed both hands gently on her stomach and bent to speak to the baby. “Tiny one, we need to you try and calm yourself. We know something isn’t right, but we’re going to get you as soon as we can. In the meantime please try and relax. We’ll see you very soon.”

While Loki spoke the words in soothing voice, she sent similar thoughts to their daughter, assuring her they were doing everything they could to help her. Not sure if it was a sign of the baby or not, but she felt some of her own tension ease when they were finished.

“I think we’ve done all we can right now,” she told him.

When Eir rejoined them a minute later, she went straight to the monitor before casting a suspicious glance at the couple. “The child’s heart rate is lower. I don’t think it’s wise to change course, though this does make things a bit less risky.” She turned to focus solely to the king. “Out. We have to prepare her for surgery.”

“I’ll be damned if you think I’ll leave my wife right now.”

“Sire, you’ll only be in the way. When the child is born—”

“I’ll be right here to witness it.” He clutched blindly for Erna’s hand without taking his eyes off the healer.

She tried a different tack. “Surgery is bloody and unpleasant, your majesty.”

“I assure you I’ve been in many battles and seen much more _unpleasant_ things than this.” There was a growling menace in his voice that caused even someone as hardened as Eir to take a step back.

“Fine. But you need to leave for a moment while we prepare her. We have to work quickly and you _will_ be in the way. I’ll call you back in before we cut.”

 _Cut_. The word sent a chill down Erna’s spine. She knew it was irrational to worry about knives being used so close to the baby, but the thought worried her all the same. She tried to take comfort in the fact that Loki would be there with her. Grateful he argued for it himself, because she honestly didn’t think she had it in her to protest at that point. She was already so tired from hours of labor and the prospect of seeing her daughter was the only reason she hadn’t succumbed to the fatigue yet.

Loki reluctantly left her, throwing baleful glances over his shoulder as he did so. But not before pressing an urgent kiss to her upturned lips and fervently promising to return as soon as he was able. Quite frankly she felt like he was being a tad dramatic, but rather than criticize him for it, she simply nodded her thanks.

As soon as he was out of the room, one of the younger attendants lowered her bed and removed all the pillows propping her up. She was so efficient that Erna found herself flat on her back within moments. Staring up at room's high ceiling while women bustled all around her, she felt a strange sense of unreality. Suddenly she was grateful for the ever-increasing stabs of pain for giving her something to ground her.

A sharp order from Eir brought her attention back down. "Slide up, your majesty, let’s get your legs out of the braces."

She mutely complied, not wishing to voice the question most prevalent in her mind. Pain felt like something she shouldn't be worried about in the face of her daughter's predicament and yet she felt a flare of panic as they tugged up her gown and began swabbing her stomach with a cool substance.

Maybe she saw the panic on the queen's face and maybe it was just next on the mental list she was working from, but a minute later Eir leaned over her and explained. "We will give you something for the operation. You'll still feel that we're doing something, but the pain should be nonexistent."

"Should?"

"Sometimes it doesn't work, I won't lie. If you're unlucky in that respect just let the pain overtake you and pass out. At this point I don't need you to push, so you can be unconscious if need be. Or you can choose to have us sedate you completely from the beginning. The choice is yours."

Well, at least she was honest. Strangely that part was a comfort to Erna. "Let's try the first option," she answered after consideration.

Eir shot her a look that could have been disdain or admiration- she was so damnably hard to read. But Erna didn't care if the woman thought her foolish to take the risk, she wanted to know her daughter was safely delivered as soon as possible. Something about possibly being unconscious when their child joined the world felt like she’d be cheated out of something.

Without another word, Eir flicked a hand and one of the girls helped the queen swallow a large measure of a thick, bitter infusion. They allowed her to sit up only long enough to gulp it down before forcing her back in her supine position. Almost immediately her body began to feel curiously light, no doubt the concoction beginning its work.

Loki was back in the room like a shot as soon as Eir gave the word. The healer shot him a stern glance and lectured him quite severely. “You will stay up near the queen’s head. You will make yourself as unobtrusive as possible and stay out of our way. If at any time you distract me or the other ladies, I will eject you from the room without a second thought. I know you want what’s best for your wife and child, so to that end, I am the unquestioned authority in this room. Is that understood?”

Erna would have smiled watching him reply a curt, “yes,” but a contraction stole her attention. Though still painful, she felt the edge of the sensation dulling by the second.

While the room waited for the drug to take full effect, Loki took to the stool they’d set for him and began speaking quietly in her ear. “You’re almost there, little one. Make it through this and we can meet our daughter. I know you can do this.” She was only able to nod in response, the gravity of the situation bearing down on her. “I love you so much, Erna.”

She groped for his hand, noticing that she couldn’t truly feel it when she closed her fingers around his. “I’m scared,” she let out in a small whisper.

“I am too, darling. But you know how strong she is. And I know how strong _you_ are.”

They sat in anxious silence for several more minutes before Eir tested the feeling of several parts of her lower extremities. When the healer was satisfied, they began.

The medicine had done its job thankfully and Erna felt only an odd pressure as the team opened her up. Grateful it had gone to plan, she again concentrated her gaze on the ceiling and focused on Loki’s voice. He kept talking throughout the procedure while stroking her temples and pressing kisses to the fingers she kept wrapped around his. Occasionally he’d crane his neck to get a better view of the proceedings, but would offer her no details.

She lost track of how long they’d been at it by the time she heard Eir gasp and demand a pair of shears. “The cord is wrapped around her, cut it here,” she ordered an unseen helper. Erna took no pleasure in knowing she’d been right about the gender, now only focused on why her daughter wasn’t crying.

Loki, now on his feet, called for information and was promptly ignored by the others. All he could see was that they’d laid her out on a nearby table, or at least that was what he assumed. He couldn’t actually catch a glimpse of the child, she was so surrounded.

After what felt like an eternity, a gurgling gasp turned into a raucous cry and the tension seemed to evaporate from the room. Erna let out the breath she’d been holding and cried in relief.

Now able to focus on more than the new princess, Eir spoke to the couple. “We are not done with the queen yet. While I finish closing her up, we’ll see that the child is washed and given a thorough examination. Your majesty, would you like to stay here or with the baby?”

“I won’t leave my wife. We’ll meet our daughter together. Just please be quick about it.”

It was the work of only a few more minutes to prepare both mother and child. By the time one of Eir’s younger colleagues presented the couple with the swaddled, tiny form, they were both openly crying. A gnawing sensation that had nothing to do with her incision bloomed in her stomach. What if she’d been in distress too long? Why had she taken so long to cry?

As she was stuck on her back for the foreseeable future, Loki took their daughter gingerly in his arms and brought her close to Erna’s face. The baby, red-faced and squirming, looked like some kind of a toy, nestled in the crook of his arm. “She’s beautiful,” she cried, overwhelmed by the surge of love she felt at the sight of them together.

“Takes after her mother then.” He kissed his wife’s forehead, ignoring the sweaty plaster of hair across it, and spoke in a lower tone. “She’s perfect, little one. The cord was partially wrapped around her throat, restricting her airway, but they got her out in enough time. They’ve run tests and she’s fine.”

“Truly?” She couldn’t help the hope that sent even more tears streaming down her cheeks. It shouldn’t have been possible for one person to go through so many different emotions in such a short amount of time.

“I swear, Erna. I don't lie to you. She’s smaller than expected and there’s a little bruising around her neck, but she’s perfectly healthy.”

“Small? But I’m huge. We thought she might even be too big for me to carry full term. I don’t understand.”

“Shh, little one. We can discuss all of that later. You have to rest now.”

“Not until I get to hold her.” She may have been flat on her back, but she stuck her chin out defiantly. He could tell how truly exhausted she was, but he knew good and well that arguing with her would be a waste of energy.

True to her word, she held off slumber until she’d held and nursed the new princess. She’d been carefully maneuvered back into a half-sitting, half-reclining position and fell asleep gazing down at their daughter. The smile that first graced her lips when he was finally able to put the tiny bundle in her arms didn’t leave even as weariness overtook her. Later he would convince himself he’d been seeing things, but in that moment he would have sworn the little girl smiled back at her mother.

**-XXX-**

When she woke later, it wasn't the pain that struck her initially, rather is was Loki's low voice. He had his back to her and was gently swaying. It took her bleary eyes a minute to register that he was soothing the baby.

"Shh, tiny one. We have to let your mother sleep. She's been through a lot today."

Erna heard a soft gurgling coo in response, as if the child was agreeing with her father's statement.

He continued to address her as he would an adult, although his tone was much gentler than the average person would get from him. "You really are gorgeous. I'd hoped you'd take more after your mother than me, if I'm being honest. But I see both of us in you. It's amazing."

Another low noise from the baby made her smile fondly.

"Although I'm glad you're not blue, I will show you my true form soon enough. Your mother thinks you need to grow up with it, but I'm not so sure you need to see your papa like that so young. No doubt she'll have her way in the end though, she usually does."

He paused, readjusting her position before continuing his one-sided conversation. "One thing we agree on is that you aren't to use any magic until you're old enough for proper training."

"You know, she can't understand you yet." She finally spoke, enjoying the sight of the two of them when he turned around to face her.

"That remains to be seen," he pronounced with an enigmatic half smile.

"She's not even a day old, Loki."

"She was special in the womb and I have no evidence to show she will be any different outside of it." To punctuate his statement, the baby let out another happy gurgle.

He deposited the bundle in her arms and watched silently as Erna nursed her before continuing the conversation. He seemed strangely curious of the procedure and watched with a fascinated gaze she knew well enough from watching him work out a spell or conduct research.

When the child was nodding off, head resting on his wife's chest, he spoke again. "Have you decided on a name?" She'd wanted to see the girl in person before settling on anything.

"How do you feel about Ashilda?"

He chuckled. "You want to proclaim her a fighter from the outset?"

"We've seen how quick she was to defend me. I fear that part of her personality is inevitable."

"In that case, I think Ashilda is more than fitting. Princess Ashilda. It has a rather nice ring to it. Though Queen Ashilda will be even better."

"No crowns until she's older, Loki. I mean it."

"Technically she'll be older in a few days..." He trailed off and looked away, guilty expression on his thin face.

Sighing in resignation, she ignored his response. She'd have to deal with it if his doting got out of hand, but for now she'd accept it as new parent excitement.

"When can I be moved back to our chambers?" The suite was cramped and she knew she'd feel more at ease recovering in her own bed.

"We think tomorrow if everything stays on track. It feels like an eternity since I've had you beside me in bed."

"Have you even slept long enough to miss me?"

"I'll sleep when you're back. I can drag a chair in here for a nap if I feel the need of it."

He folded himself down onto the low stool and tenderly brushed the hair away from her face. "I'm so proud of you, little one."

"I just did what mothers have been doing for millennia."

"It is no less miraculous because others have gone before you." Raising himself up slightly, he gave her a soft kiss, careful not to disturb the baby. "I love you both so very much."

"And she loves you. I can no longer feel her moods, but of that I am assured. And I'm rather fond of you myself." She paused to shift Ashilda up higher on her chest.

"I can take her if you want to get some sleep."

"I can sleep like this and I have a feeling I'll need to get used to it. Plus, I'd love it if you got some rest too." Despite his calm expression, there were deep circles under his eyes and she'd noticed he'd part sat and part collapsed onto the stool.

"Would you object to some modification to the bed so it will accommodate all of us?"

"As long as it doesn't wake her."

He shot her a look that said he was offended that she would question his abilities, but began his work all the same. She felt the edge of the narrow bed recede from her right side and in a matter of seconds it was double its original size. Taking care not to jostle the baby, he managed to give her a smug smile as he slid in beside her. But before she had a chance to pout, he slid an arm around her and gently drew her to him. It was too perfect to be annoyed, she quickly decided.

“And how is the royal mother feeling?”

Until he’d asked, she wasn’t even thinking of herself, all her energies turned toward her family. “Still so tired and I’m hurting some, but not as bad as I’d expected.”

“Tomorrow they’ll make you walk and I want you to be honest if you need something for the pain. There’s no need to grin and bear it if you need help. And if I need to begin healing you with my own magic, I won’t hesitate.”

“Loki, I’m not so sure it's a good idea to mix magic with medicine."

"I've healed myself and others countless times during battle when we didn't have the luxury of finding a true healer. Cuts and abrasions are easy enough to mend. I wouldn’t dare attempt anything major, but I can at least help the healing along."

"Only if Eir gives her approval."

"Since when do you take her word over mine?"

"You did the same when I was relegated to the bed and you know it. She successfully delivered our child and I think that earns her a vote in my care, don't you?"

He sighed, but offered no additional resistance. "I suppose."

"Um I did want to ask you something though." The uncertainty in her voice spiked his attention. "When I'm healed, can you... I mean would your magic be able to erase the scar?"

"Why would you want to do that?"

"It's going to be ugly and I—”

"Nothing about you is ugly and certainly not a scar earned while bringing our child into the world. I can remove it if it is your wish, but I don't want you to do it on my account. As far as I'm concerned it's a battle scar to be proud of." She didn't reply, eyes downcast at his words. "But I'll say no more on the subject until you’ve had time to think it through. Whatever you want, little one."

"Thank you, Loki."

He felt her relax back into him, marveling that she could be so confident in many ways and insecure in others. Well, most people were like that, he mused, a contradiction of strength and fragility.

"But now I insist we both try to sleep. She'll probably be hungry in a few hours, so we should take what we can get."

"I agree." She kissed his chest, the only part of him available to her without jostling the sleeping child. "We did it and she's here and I couldn't be happier. I love you, Loki."

"I love you too, little queen. Now try to rest."

She'd already joined her daughter in dreamless exhaustion by the time he finished.


	41. Chapter 41

In the weeks after Ashilda’s birth, Erna learned that the most difficult part of the whole affair came _after_. Though inconvenient and uncomfortable, the pregnancy itself was a walk in the park by comparison. She knew she had an incision to worry about where most new mothers didn’t, but the weeks and weeks of bleeding was somehow worse. She felt more like she was recovering from battle than from carrying their child.

For his part, Loki was able to ease some of her suffering under Eir’s watchful eye. But he became so hypersensitive to her every discomfort, she’d finally had to have a discussion with him about it. Although he only wanted to help, she had to remind him that sometimes all that was expected of him was to let her grunt in pain and be there if she _asked_ for something. Things got a bit easier after he stopped trying to swoop in every few minutes to see if some new issue had arisen.

But Erna was sure all the pain and everything else would fade into memory. Her daughter would see to that. Every time she looked at her something new stood out. Ashilda’s eyes were so similar to her own amber ones, but without the guarded cast that comes with years and knowledge. They were bright and clear and inquisitive, always seeming to take in her surroundings. There was also the addition of a sea green ring around the outside of her iris, something that Erna didn’t have. It was subtle, but it instantly brought her husband to mind. Those eyes reminded her more of Loki than even the black hair that began to crop up on her head. And despite protests to the contrary, she could see that he was secretly pleased his daughter took after him in such a visible way.

She relied on him heavily in those first few weeks. Whenever her body demanded rest or she needed a moment to herself, Loki was there to take the baby. He told her stories as those intuitive eyes watched him with an intensity one didn’t expect in a newborn. He was so ready to care for their daughter that the nanny had very little to do at first. More than once Loki had dismissed the woman by the middle of the day, much to her surprise and consternation.

One thing the couple had agreed on, was that aside from a nap here or there, the child would sleep in a separate room. Loki’s study had been temporarily transformed (quite literally thanks to his magic) into a nursery, as neither of them could bear to be _too_ far away from Ashilda. But both knew they would need time for just the two of them and however difficult it may have been, they left her to slumber alone at night.

And while her recovery took anything more amorous than kissing and caressing off the table, they grew to appreciate the quiet moments they were able to spend together. It reminded her of the times, not so long ago, when he would steal into her rooms every night during their courtship. At least they’d grown out of suppressed words and self-denial, she thought happily.

One night shortly after the one month mark, Loki climbed into bed with a disgustingly sappy grin on his face. “What?” He was either about to describe some new endearing trait of their daughter’s or he was trying to hide something. Either way, she wanted to know about it.

“It’s just that I love you and I realized that I’m lucky enough to be able to tell you that as oft as I damn well please. So wife, I would like to officially declare my love for you.”

She sighed, mournful look on her face. “Alas, I cannot accept your declaration. I’m not dressed for something so formal.”

"But you forget how persistent I can be, little elf. I would love you no matter what your attire. Although if you feel that strongly about it, you could remove that shift…"

"And you scoffed at romance when you proposed to me."

"You, my darling wife, bring it out in me." He pulled her close, raining small kisses down all over her face. Her answering laugh made her incision hurt a bit, but not enough to make him stop. Ridiculously silly Loki was far too entertaining.

When he did finally stop, pressing one final kiss to her lips, he was still grinning like a fool. "There's something else, I can tell."

"I figured something out today," he declared with a grand flourish of one hand.

He was going to make her pull it out of him for the fun of it. Idiot. "And that was?"

"You're not the only one Ashilda sent dreams to."

"Wait. What?"

"The reason you had such a difficult time rousing me when you went into labor was that I was dreaming and trying to hold onto it."

"How do you know it was her doing?" She probably should have felt more skeptical, but something told her it would never be a good idea to underestimate their daughter.

"Because she showed me herself all grown up. Or at least how she sees herself as an adult. Who knows really if she can see the future. I honestly wouldn't put it past her. I suppose she could be a seer more than a sorceress, but then again there was the light beam to think about—”

"Slow down, Loki. You're going at breakneck speed and I'm tired."

He cleared his throat and began again at a blessedly slower pace. "I was dreaming something innocuous—”

"Probably something about world domination," she interrupted, earning a playful slap on her bottom.

"Shut it, wife." Despite his words, he pulled her closer and began rubbing circles on her back. "I distinctly remember being pulled out of my dream and onto this riverbank. _She_ was there. And I demanded information only to be met by cryptic declarations and a smug smile."

"Well that definitely sounds like a child of yours."

"Laugh all you want, little one, but I know it was her."

"How are you so sure?"

"Her eyes. They're so similar to yours, but not quite the same. I originally dismissed it as my brain conjuring up pieces of you, but when I put her to bed just now it hit me. They were Ashilda's eyes. Eyes I hadn't even seen yet."

"That means she could be even more magical than we realized, Loki."

"Well she was while still inside you. I think some of that has been tempered now that she's born."

"What makes you think so? Because she hasn't blown anyone up when she's fussy?"

"There is that, but I've given this a lot of thought and I've researched what I could. I think you were acting as a kind of conduit or amplifier of her magic."

"Me? How? I'm not the least bit magical."

"That you know of. You might have been born with it and just never honed the skill. If it isn't nurtured it withers like any other talent. I think there's a reason you were able to communicate with her and know her thoughts and fears."

"Loki, it could just be that she's very powerful."

"Aye she is that, I'll grant you, but why do you think her skill is so prodigious?"

"Well, you're her father for one."

"But no parent of what would turn out to be a magical child ever experienced anything like what we've both witnessed. No, I don’t think that’s all there is to it.”

"Nobody else has born children to Loki of Asgard and Jotunheim. Well, unless you believe all those stories about horses and snakes and the like."

"I could kill Volstagg for starting those rumors. It's been centuries and people still whisper about that damn horse. But that's not what I was getting at, little one. I think part of it is me, but I think the other part is you."

"If— and I'm not saying you're right— but _if_ I had magic in me, albeit buried and untrained, would that explain what she was able to do while still in the womb?"

"If you add me to the equation I think so."

She pondered the idea in silence for several minutes before responding. She was powerful, that much was clear, but a mother's worry saw the downside of that as well as any benefits. "Loki, this could be a problem. What if she accidentally hurts someone? Or herself, gods forbid!"

"I tell her repeatedly not to use her magic until I instruct her on the use of it."

"She's barely a month old, she can't understand you!" Without warning, panic started to creep in. Ashilda could be a danger to herself and there was nothing Erna could do to stop it.

He felt how rapid her heartbeat had become and spoke soothingly. “Erna, you’ve seen how she watches people, particularly when they’re speaking to her. Have you honestly not noticed that the level of attention she exhibits isn’t consistent with most newborns?”

It was rather uncanny to watch. She’d already half expected Ashilda to start responding to him, so rapt was her attention as Loki wove stories for her. But she’d chalked that up to maternal blinders. Didn’t every mother think her child extraordinary?

“But we can’t know for sure until she starts talking, and even then she won’t be capable of complex speech for years to come.”

“Well, in the meantime I’ll just continue speaking to her as if she understands. It can’t hurt anything.”

“Loki, I get the distinct impression that we don’t have a lot of control in this situation.” The initial wave of panic had resided, but she had a feeling the residual uneasiness would remain.

“That’s because we don’t. Not really. But I remember what you said to me on our wedding night. That we would be good to each other and take everything else as it comes. It still seems like a solid plan.”

“How are you this calm about it?”

“I’m finally taking some advice my mother gave me a long time ago to heart. At the time I couldn’t even fathom having children of my own, but she said that parenthood was terrifying and unpredictable, but that if you could get past the uncertainty of it, it was the best thing she could think of. So I’m just trying to heed my mother’s words.”

“You think we’ll be any good at it?”

“So far, has there been anything we couldn’t do between the two of us?”

“No.”

“Then I don’t see this as any different. And already it’s much more rewarding than some of the more unsavory things we’ve had to deal with. We have this little miracle that’s half me and half you and yet a totally different person and I don’t see how we can’t help but enjoy it.”

“You know, you’re fairly wise. I bet you’d be a good ruler. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Let’s hope she inherited my sense of humor. Yours is rubbish.”

“I will have you know I have a delightful sense of humor. People say so.”

“They’re humoring the queen, little elf.”

“Oh shut up. It’s time you let me sleep.”

He dimmed the lamp and settled back in beside her, grinning in the dark. Although the concerns she’d voiced had been valid, he couldn’t help but look forward to their lives to come with excitement and hope. Too long he’d wallowed in self hatred and pity only to find himself pulled out of it in the most unexpected way. Everything seemed so much sweeter when he looked at the current state of his life compared to where he’d been when he’d first spotted Erna in the great hall. She could be uncertain, it was only natural. He had enough certainty for all three of them.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he started to make out the fine details of her face, already courting slumber. Her fatigue left him with ample time these days to study her as she slept. He had a hard time closing his own eyes, as he found her untroubled countenance fascinating. By some magic beyond even his understanding this woman had agreed to share his life and her sleeping form never failed to stir a great well of gratitude within him.

That she would leave herself so unguarded in his presence had meant so much to him. If he was being honest with himself he’d probably started falling in love with her the first time she’d fallen asleep in his arms. Nobody had trusted him like that in a long time. It had loosed something in him that he’d kept buried more out of fear than anything.

Gods, but he did get philosophical on nights like this. If she was awake she’d chide him for wasting valuable sleeping time, but he’d join her in sleep soon enough. For now he’d let such thoughts surround him and give him comfort. He loved and was loved and despite everything was truly happy.


	42. Chapter 42

“And you have your phone?”

“Geez, Jane. You’re worse than my mom!” Darcy readjusted the strap on her rucksack and rolled her eyes. “Yes, I have the one that Fitz guy designed. He promised me it would work in Asgard and the battery is good for at least a few months. And I have about ten extra when that runs out. And I have this laptop _and_ a tablet _and_ he made me take some kind of sleeping dart gun or something. Seemed really insistent. I’m good.”

“Call us if you need _anything_ , okay?”

“I’m a personal guest of the queen, I think I’ll be okay.” She saw that Jane was either about to press the issue, or move on to another question and she rushed to beat her to it. “But I’ll call anyway to catch up and stuff. Jane, I’m gonna be _fine_.”

The other woman just nodded, looking all the world like she was coming to grips with never seeing her friend again. For a scientist, Jane could be a drama queen, Darcy thought.

Thor, silent so far during their exchange, stepped forward and clasped her on the shoulder with one of his great big hands. “We will miss you, Darcy Lewis. Tell my brother we plan to visit in a few weeks. If there is anything you require from Midgard before then, send Jane a message in text and we shall bring it with us.”

“Thanks, big guy.”

Darcy took several steps back and looked up at the clear autumn sky. “Um okay, Asgard Transit Authority. You can beam me up now.” That Heimdall guy had better be paying attention, otherwise she just looked like an idiot standing in the middle of a field.

But before she could feel self-conscious, the familiar weightless feeling enveloped her along with the much too bright light. She stumbled into the observatory with a curse, but managed to keep her feet. She had no idea how Thor made it look so damn easy. Maybe that hammer did something to help his balance.

Before she knew it, Erna was there handing her bags off to a small army of soldiers in glinting gold armor. The queen traveled in style. “You’re not the size of a house anymore,” Darcy blurted, wishing (not for the first time) that she had a filter. “I mean… shit. I’m sorry. You look nice. Very queenly.”

Erna gave a snort of laughter, happy to have another person around who wasn’t so awed by her position that they turned into a blithering sycophant. She could trust Darcy to be honest to a fault and that turned out to be surprisingly refreshing. Loki had once referred to her as the charmless charmer and something about that rang true. Everyone warmed to Darcy, sometimes despite herself.

“I’m rather glad to be back to my normal self, more or less. Motherhood changes your body forever, but I won’t lie and pretend I miss the waddle I’d acquired over those last few months.” The other woman nodded, likely choosing the safety of silence rather than risk her friend’s wrath again, so Erna continued. “I have a lovely suite ready for you. They used to be my rooms before Loki and I were wed.”

“Dude, I don’t need _rooms_. That’s really nice of you, but I meant it when I said I wouldn’t be any trouble. I’ll sleep on whatever you guys have instead of couches.”

“Darcy,” Erna took her hand and led her towards the waiting horses, Heimdall shooting her a grin as they left. He knew as well as anyone it was next to useless to argue with the queen. “You are our guest and you’ll be afforded the courtesy we would give any visiting dignitary.”

“But I’m definitely not a dignitary!” That was definitely the first time anyone had put her in the same category as dignified.

“You are a Midgardian scholar set to study our government. There are many men here who would wish to diminish your power by dint of your sex, I won’t let them have another excuse to do so. How we treat you will signal to them how seriously they’re meant to take you. The sooner they accept your role, the easier your project will be. I don’t know how it is in Midgard, but court politics are heavily reliant on social cues, however archaic they may be.”

“Yeah, that’s true where I’m from too. Old white guys get so bent out of shape with us womenfolk.”

“That seems to be a universal truth. So it’s not only my affection for you personally that led me to give you my old suite. It sends a very tangible signal to the court. And tomorrow night we’re having a feast in your honor.”

“I brought the dresses you had made for me last time, so at least I’ll look the part this time.”

“They won’t do for your grand reception. Those garments are over a year old and there are those that will notice such minuscule things. Again, I’m taking no chances with the details of your arrival, no matter how trivial they may seem. As soon as you’ve recovered from your journey you have a final fitting with my own dressmaker. We kept your measurements, so it will hopefully be a short sitting, just to finalize the details.”

“This is… a lot, Erna. I’m not gonna lie I’m starting to get a bit anxious. I thought it would be like it was before. I can just sit in the visitor’s gallery to get the material for my paper. I don’t need all this extra stuff.”

“You do. Will you not need to speak to those in power to capture their own words on the matter?”

“I mean, I don’t _have_ to…” She sounded less than sure, suddenly very interested in studying her shoes.

“Nonsense. Nobody will say you weren’t a thorough scholar. I know how important this is to you, Darcy. I will do everything I can to help you succeed.”

“And making me wear a new dress and raising a toast of mutton or whatever at a feast will help me do that? You’re worse than my thesis adviser.”

“As silly as it sounds, you’ll soon see that these are all necessary.”

“I feel bad to waste the taxpayer’s money on dresses and feasts.”

“Oh, Darcy what a joy it is going to be to have you at court!” Erna didn’t disguise the delight in her voice. “The state isn’t paying for your visit. Loki and I have family funds we use for such things. None of this is at the burden of our citizens. As much as I enjoy your company, only true matters of state are paid for by the treasury.”

“That’s even worse! You can’t pay for this out of your own pocket!”

“You brought my ice cream when I was in Midgard, this hospitality is no different.”

“This is a lot bigger than some crummy ice cream.”

“My pockets are a bit deeper than yours, yes, but rest assured we wouldn’t be doing this if we couldn’t. So take your first lesson in court politics to heart and accept.”

“I feel like Alice through the looking glass here.”

“I don’t know who this Alice person is, but I assure you you’ll come out with a more interesting tale than her gazing into a mirror.”

Darcy let the subject drop, unwilling to delve into the explanation of who Alice was and how the damn mirror fit in. Suddenly she was very tired. She let Erna prattle on as they rode for the palace. The queen promised to leave her to rest as soon as she met the new princess. Even Darcy wasn’t so heartless as to stop a new mother from showing off her baby.

As they trudged through the massive corridors, Darcy was very grateful she’d seen it all before. There were still things she glimpsed that begged a further look, but she’d have time for all that later. As it was her brain was starting to get overloaded with information. Something resonated within her, reminding her this was a momentous day. Intellectually she knew it was the start of what was hopefully going to be a monumental academic and anthropological work, but even that didn’t explain her feeling. It almost felt like her normal emotions were being amped up by something. Like an emotional triple shot espresso. Weird.

She resolved to grab a nap in her _chambers_ as soon as it was polite to excuse herself. Just a baby meet and greet and then she’d be free.

Surprised to find Loki bobbing around the room with a delighted child in his arms, that wasn’t the biggest shock of Darcy’s day— by a long shot. Not even the dancing green lights bobbing around the pair was the source of her temporary paralysis. No, the girl’s captivating eyes and crop of dark hair were what stopped her dead in her tracks. When she finally found her voice to ask the question, she was starting to feel more in common with the girl in Wonderland than she had moments before.

“Do either of you know why I’ve dreamt about your kid every day for the past two weeks?”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have plans for a sequel, so you hopefully won't be left hanging for too long. But I've promised myself I'd finish Put Me Back Together Again before I start publishing anything else. But don't worry, this fic was way too much fun to stop here!


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